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 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 353
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal Page 7 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)



Please go away. This is dating site for women and men who like each other.



WWW - You don't seem to like women very much, and I can understand why women would not like you with the anti women attitude you have.


I don't like women?? News to me. My statement quoted above was that people (women or men) who use a dating site to forward a harsh political view of male/female relationships are at base dishonest, and they should hang out on sites which have their same harsh political views.



I think most of us are here to find a partner we are sexually attracted to.


There is substantial room to doubt that statement. If they were in fact sexually attracted to a partner, they would have a pool of partner potentials they would be sexually to, and thus they would find someone in that pool in the last umpty ump years they have had sex with. Check some profiles to see just how many state they are looking for no relationship whatsoever. Or easier yet, notice the harsh sounding screen names -- which by itself would scare off ANY potential relationship partner -- to see if there is any correlation between weird screen names and political agendizing.

*IF* somone is trying "to find a partner they are sexually attracted to", they would study what works, not what doesn't.

As Bernard Haldane said, "We get better at what we study. Therefore, we should study our successes rather than our failures."

People rant on about the failings of potential partners because they wish to fail with potential partners.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 354
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 9:10:41 AM
^^^ Please do not respond to any posts at all -- even to acknowledge they exist -- which do not directly address the question in this thread of "sex appeal" and seem to have political agenda.

All political talk belongs somewhere else other than a dating site. Ignore it and it will go away. Reward it by acknowledging it and it gets louder.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 355
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 9:13:42 AM

Agreed. I have had sex with men who were not "relationship material". There was no reason to wait, or "take it slow" because we were not going anywhere as a couple.

+1
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 356
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 9:39:04 AM
" Ummmm, looking back at history, you only have to look at rape laws or domestic violence laws to know that women were not held in high esteem. While there were outwards, public displays of 'gentlemanly behaviour' from men there was often a different scenario playing out in the home. As a woman, you were indeed, the property of your husband, and if he hit you, you didn't talk about it. "


" I'm sorry you see things that way, especially since it's not true. It all sounds like the kind of propaganda I'd expect in a book from a Women's Studies course--or maybe in an Oliver Stone movie. "
*****************************************************************************
You, sir have likely set off a fire storm.

Without doing research, I will tell you that in my Mother's generation, a woman who was Divorced, was a ' Divorcee, '" which was a derogatory term. And those of us who are old enough, have heard the term " Adultress, " with even worse social implications.

The old double standard... men can do it, but women are severely labeled when they do the same thing. A man who sleeps around gets society's label as a STUD, while a woman who does the same thing is labeled by society to be a WHORE. Double standards, anyone ?

Why do women pay more at the Dry Cleaner's than men, and often make less than a man who does the same work ? A lot has changed thru the recent decades, but not enough. Being 50 or older, and Female is sometimes frightening in the work place. A lot of Employers have less tolerance for women of that age, than for men and younger women.

In parts of Appalachia, women are hit by men, and it has been the societal norm... THAT IS NOT TALKED ABOUT BY THE WOMAN. Things are changing, but not enough. Men and women I know, have confirmed this.

Women tend to spend more time on clothes and fashion than most men do.... at least most Hetero men, so I've been told. Women spend more time and attention to look good for themselves, but also to compete with other women, so that they can look good to men, and have more sex appeal.

Sadly, we've been conditioned to accept that this is the way that women should be, and what they should accept. Look at Katy Perry's Video," Teenage Dream, "where she appears without make up. Her Lyrics include, " You think I'm pretty without any make up on... " Notice how she's still selling that image of inequality ?

Why are there WOMEN'S SHELTERS.. also known as DOMESTIC ABUSE SHELTERS. Have you ever heard of a Strictly Domestic Men's Abuse Shelter ? I haven't.

I personally know of several women who were abused by men... and it wasn't talked about. In many cases, even today, woman are afraid to come forward about being abused... sexually or otherwise.

There's a deep under current of Women's Abuse at the hands of Men, and the long term consequenses that exists today, that you, sir are apparently unaware of.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 357
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 10:05:28 AM

I never understood this.


That's what the original post was about. I didn't think the OP was defending it. I think this business about paying for dinner, etc. bothers so many people because some of them--both men and women--are trying to use dates to take advantage of each other. The way for men to avoid it is just not ask the woman out again, if he doesn't get the show of interest he wants. And if the woman has a feeling a guy's trying to use dates to buy sex from her, she can just not go out with him again.

I like old movies, and they're full of examples of women very deftly and nicely showing the men they like just enough interest to keep them trying--and without misleading them. Too bad so many women seem never to have learned that skill--that's a big part of what kills romance, and causes all this cynical calculation. And what comes of it? Lots of resentment, and maybe some mostly passionless copulation. Not all that thrilling.

If I were really attracted to a lady, and I knew from little things she did that she felt the same about me, I'd be happy, for quite a while, just being around her, looking at her, smelling her perfume, holding her hand, kissing her, hugging her, talking and joking with her. Even being sent home a few times, when things started to get too warm to control, would be sexy, because I'd know that in a way, she didn't want me to go. I'd be walking on air on the way to my car, rather than feeling I got cheated. That friends first approach can be very erotic.

I'd know, for certain, that when we finally *did* get more intimate--very slowly and teasingly--the sight and feel of a breast, or just kissing her neck and shoulders, would set off that odd little craving in the pit of my stomach. And later, as soon as I'd stopped seeing fireworks and realized my hand was in her hair, I'm sure I'd think I must have died and gone to heaven. And I hope she'd feel the same way.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 359
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 1:54:16 PM
^^^^^Very funny! No, the problem wasn't that they were out. I think she just started ruminating on the injustice, as she saw it, of my having it so easy when it came to draining the tank. And since I was the guy who happened to be there, I got the full force of her lecture about it. I should have added how cool I thought it was that I didn't have to deal with her monthly routine, either. But that might have made her violent--and there were knives and forks within easy reach.

Her hands seemed OK to me, but her inconsiderate tone had already spoiled the mood. Why, oh why do so many women seem to think they can completely ignore a man's feelings, and then expect him to be in the mood whenever they choose to start groping him? As soon as I couldn't be sure she wanted something meaningful--wanted *me* for myself--I completely lost interest. Unlike most women, we men are not just sex-obsessed machines who are ready anytime and anywhere. We need to value the woman and feel some connection with her, first.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 360
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 3:35:16 PM
" Unlike most women, we men are not just sex-obsessed machines who are ready anytime and anywhere. We need to value the woman and feel some connection with her, first. "

"We need to value the woman and feel some connection with her, first. " Your reference of "we" is in the minority.

" Unlike most women, we men are not just sex-obsessed machines who are ready anytime and anywhere. "

Are you refering to most women you've dated ? "..... sex-obsessed machines who are ready anytime and anywhere. " does not describe most women. And most men do not ..." need to value the woman and feel some connection with her, first. "
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 361
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 4:18:35 PM

And most men do not ..." need to value the woman and feel some connection with her, first.


You came to that conclusion how? By asking "most" men? By observing "most" men?

May we ask the obvious question? Do you yourself feel you are a better human being than "most men", and thus are more valuable to "most women"?

C'mon, dude, most men are pretty decent human beings, just as most women are.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 362
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 4:46:49 PM
^^^ Please take your choice of politics offline. It has not a thing to do with dating/mating as is this site, or the sex appeal of dating/mating as is this thread.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 364
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 5:20:48 PM

it's sad that people are willing to flex ethics and morals over a goddamn dinner.


It's probably a whole lot smaller a number of people than you might think.

Hillary Black, promoting her book "The Secret Currency Of Love" aimed at a certain market niche, stated flatly that studies showed 2/3rds of all women age 20 to 50 would marry a man they didn't love "if he had enough assets", enough being defined as two and a half mil $ (except for women in their 30's where "enough assets" was a mil and a half $) .

Problem was, I could find no such studies -- not one even close -- and when I emailed her asking "where did she find such studies?" she did not return the response.

Small side note, the women in Black's book SERIOUSLY messed up their lives, their relationships with men, even as they chanted the value of their beliefs.

Most men, most women, who marry, stay married. Most men, most women, marry in their teens and twenties, a time for most singles when "a dinner date" means a shared pizza.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 365
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 5:40:55 PM

I gues the word "most" needs to be defined.

Here are some stats for the US.

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

Here is the sourse: http://www.divorcerate.org/


Ok no problem.......Of all marriages 41% divorce leaving 59% married which is most!

The divorce rate for second and third marriages comes from the original 41%....The only thing the second and third percentages show is that if you get divoced once you are more likely to do it again. Notice you didn't mention the fact one gender files first 70% of the time.....And that same genders files first at a higher rate for the second and a even higher rate on their third marriage......
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 367
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 5:50:00 PM

What does this have to do with sex appeal? Are you just trying to start an argument?

Nope just pointing out that she was using the stats wrong......She fallaciously tried to say most marriages ended in divorce......By posting the stats of first second and third marriages. The only way to get to most would be to add them together......Of course if you did you would have more than 100% so that can't be right!

The other info was just to show anyone can post stats.......How they are interpreted is what is important.

You have to decide what they mean........I didn't even say which gender was which......So if you took it as a offense that is on you.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 368
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:00:20 PM

mjyawn67 ... Did you actually read the source?

I know your posting style and I do not want to go down the same road with you when I tried to explain basic statistical analysis...

I did not find the gender issue that you mention on the link I provided...

In fact, my source disproves what you stated... I copy pasted as best as I could as to be objective as much as possible.

Age at marriage for those who divorce in America
Age .......................... Women ............ Men
Under 20 years old ...... 27.6% ........... 11.7%
20 to 24 years old ......... 36.6% ............ 38.8%
25 to 29 years old ...........16.4% ........... 22.3%
30 to 34 years old ............8.5% ........... 11.6%
35 to 39 years old ............ 5.1% ............. 6.5%

If you analyse the date, women's rate of divorce is slightly less from 20 to 39 years old.

Anyway... this is off track.


Yes and if you continue reading that site you will find the info I stated.

Also the age at which men and women get divorced have nothing to do with how many divorce......As in each divorce involves a man and woman. Or who files first. The age of either is irrelevant.

And you are correct it is off topic....That was my point the post about divorce rates has nothing to do with sex appeal.......So why post them?
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 369
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:21:09 PM

Mmmm... ok....
If you would have read the thread, you would have noticed that I was responding to a comment an other posted that I found interesting and I just wanted to highlight it.


By using stats fallaciously? That is why I chimed in the point you tried to make was that most marriages end in divorce....Which is wrong.
I pointed it out as it had nothing to do with the topic.


Then you jumped in with off topic type of debate... (Which is something you are prone to do...)


I believe you had it off topic before I said a word I was just pointing that fact out.......Sorry I tried to keep it on topic.
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 370
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:31:28 PM
some curious whinges projected here from a few increasingly bitter sounding aged men who obviously aren't "getting any"...

ww...you're living in the past. there were more marriages at a younger age, one reason being women unfortunately did not have the opportunities in the work force that exist now. in the corporate world it is still an uneven playing field, but of course a man with your "expertise" would know this.

as for your statement "most men, most women, who marry, stay married" maybe you should take a peek at the latest statistics on marriage and divorce in your country. there are differing stats., for each age groups.

any man who can't afford to wine and dine a lady shouldn't ask her out. dates don't always end happily...so what?
when i go to dinner with a man i'm more interested in having a fun evening than worrying about who's going to pick up the tab. whether we're in a restaurant or eating fish and chips by the beach i wouldn't be with that man if i thought he was a penny pinching miser...no matter how much sex appeal he radiated.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 371
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:45:04 PM

as for your statement "most men, most women, who marry, stay married" maybe you should take a peek at the latest statistics on marriage and divorce in your country.


It is around 41% and that is down from a high of around 43%......Never has the divorce rate in the US been at much less above 50%.

So his statement of most stay married is correct.




any man who can't afford to wine and dine a lady shouldn't ask her out. dates don't always end happily...so what?
when i go to dinner with a man i'm more interested in having a fun evening than worrying about who's going to pick up the tab. whether we're in a restaurant or eating fish and chips by the beach i wouldn't be with that man if i thought he was a penny pinching miser...no matter how much sex appeal he radiated.


I agree I have had dates at a swanky restaurant that dived and had ones at the coffee shop that took off.
Man or woman can depend on sex appeal.....If their is no chemistry it doesn't matter.
Which is why I do coffee meets instead of spending a mint on meeting a lady I don't care to be with.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 372
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 7:10:56 PM

as for your statement "most men, most women, who marry, stay married" maybe you should take a peek at the latest statistics on marriage and divorce in your country.


Actually, for my country (the Good Ole US of A), fewer people divorce now than 20 or 30 years ago.

Even in the 1970's (when "no fault" divorce spread across the US of A) and 1980's, most people who were married, stayed married. ONLY by including the (higher) divorce rate of 2nd marriages and the (higher yet) divorce rate of 3rd marriages did the total divorce rate of ALL marriages approach one in two.

Today, in "my" country (the Good Ole US of A), an even larger percentage of those who marry, stay married.


any man who can't afford to wine and dine a lady shouldn't ask her out.


I am speechless.


i wouldn't be with that man if i thought he was a penny pinching miser...no matter how much sex appeal he radiated


"Sex appeal" is, by definition, the projection of the ability to sire (or birth) children more likely to survive to adulthood. Are you saying that spending beaucoup bux is more important to you than having children who survive?

Ahhhhh ... well ... okay ... I guess. But, what has anyone's belief that spending oddles of money "on a date" is a given got to do with "sex appeal"? I once saw a then teenage friend of my brother stop cold twenty cashiers -- no keying whatsoever --in a row at Target as he walked by. Do you think that any of those young cashiers knew his father was rich?
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 373
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 7:30:34 PM
^oh pleeeeeze!...

...any many who can't afford to wine and dine a lady shouldn't ask her out FOR A MEAL.

to me sex appeal is "by definition the projection of the ability to" ensure a mutually satisfying sexual union.

"are you saying that" you have no sex appeal?...
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 375
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 8:03:08 PM

^oh pleeeeeze!...

...any many who can't afford to wine and dine a lady shouldn't ask her out FOR A MEAL.


/null set\


to me sex appeal is "by definition the projection of the ability to" ensure a mutually satisfying sexual union


That's a given, by the definition of "woman", of "man".

"Bad sex" defines neither. Not every women wants a man, not every man wants a woman. Their choice.

This thread IS about women who like men, men who like women ... and want to get to know each other. Tricks and hookers have been mentioned, but neither one likes the other.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 376
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 8:11:58 PM
To those who feel that most men are honest and decent... do a web search as I did... between 50 and 70 % of Married Men cheated or will cheat in their marriages. More than half of the Married Spouses did not know that their wife or Husband was cheating. One sex was unaware of their Married partner's infidelity 70 % of the time. Yep, it referred to Married Men cheating in those statistics.

my source is ask.com, which directed me to askmen.com

According to those above mentioned statistics, MOST MARRIED MEN ARE NOT DECENT HUMAN BEINGS, if you consider their having committed, or their likelyhood to commit Marital infidelity to be indecent. Do the majority of men become indecent human beings when they become married ? Not likely.

Of 3 statistical reports, men cheated more often than women in their marriages.

In addition to these reported statistics, If most men are decent, why are there multiple dating sites, personality questionaires, with countless women who expressed distaste in men who are married and looking extra marital sex, players, liars, and men who are just looking for sex ? If these qualities that women often complain about in men, were non existant , why would so many women be complaining ?

If most men were decent human beings, why would the statistics that prove otherwise, to be so high ? And with qualities like these, OP, that's NOT Sex Appeal.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 377
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 8:19:13 PM
ahhhhhhhh .... would you mind very much if you were asked, in the spirit of this dating site, to take your political views somewhere else?

A statement by a man that men as a class are not decent human beings holds little value to most women. If you doubt that, go to any place with singles and music any Friday night and ask around.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 378
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 8:21:53 PM

If most men were decent human beings, why would the statistics that prove otherwise, to be so high ? And with qualities like these, OP, that's NOT Sex Appeal.

Statistically, women aren't that far behind men in the world of cheating.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 379
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 8:37:38 PM
" ahhhhhhhh .... would you mind very much if you were asked, in the spirit of this dating site, to take your political views somewhere else? "

If you don't like the research and statististics that I've provided, you manipulate them into what you perceive as my political views ? And then you turn those findings into a statement made by a man ? Too bad you can't argue that both Google and Ask.com gave these results.

I am the second person that you have invited to go elsewhere.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 380
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 8:50:57 PM
This is a dating site for women and men who like each other. We'd thank you kindly for remembering that. Left-wing, right-wing, zero-wing, aluminum-helmet-wing politics are best discussed on their individual sites.
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 381
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/5/2010 10:11:11 PM
^^JSNC7 at least you scored an invite!...

methinks mr ww leans very much to the right,
and i'm not talking of below the belt...
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