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 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 382
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal Page 8 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
" ^^JSNC7 at least you scored an invite!...

methinks mr ww leans very much to the right,
and i'm not talking of below the belt... "

Thank you, Daffie.

"Sex appeal" is, by definition, the projection of the ability to sire (or birth) children more likely to survive to adulthood. "

The term ' Sex Appeal ' is as simple as it sounds, if one can grasp the concept of abbreviation. In the instance of the original creation of this thread, which is not debatable , the abbreviation SEX, was meant as sexual , as in sexual Appeal.

Not all people who find someone sexually appealing, want to have children, or start a Family with that person, or with anyone else. Money in a bank is appealing to many people. Appealing doesn't mean that they will ACT on that appeal by stealing it.

I'm all for differences of opinion, and different ways of thinking. This original thread was NOT created with the concept of having children, as a thought or goal. I should know.

Since ww feels he knows more about this thread than I do, and he has invited 2 people including myself to go elsewhere, I invite ww to reveal his clout and position of Employment with Plenty Of Fish.

( Formerly, Gone To The Beach, 09 )
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 383
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 4:11:07 AM

All this sturm and drang and for what??

We're discussing men that drop a wad of cash and then get all butt hurt because they aren't getting any tail. However, the first thing that comes to mind isn't how screwed up the quid pro quo sex for dinner(s) expectation, it's why people are so stuck in that stale old paradigm.

Seriously people, KILL OFF THE DINNER DATE!!!!

I wonder how many women would at the end of an enjoyable evening spent on some non-traditional activity date would be upset that it wasn't an expensive dinner date? Probably not many, so why are people so hung up on the dinner date? I suspect it's because it's easy. It doesn't require any thought, just enough room on the credit card.

[sweeping generalization alert/]
I seems to me that if you want to get to know someone's persona, go on an expensive dinner date. However, if you want to get to know the person behind the mask, go have a few drinks, shoot pool, and sing karaoke.

Just my $0.02 USD

The above post not only solves this thread, but needs to be posted again.

Men: don't like picking up the tab without a return for your investment? Stop doing it. You can't take women out for dinner to get to know them expecting them all to pan out and become relationships, can you? Suggest coffee or drinks, and just don't date women who tell you they expect to be taken to dinner. This REALLY isn't rocket science. Taking a woman to dinner to get to know her is a throwback from the days women lived withtheir parents and men had to impress the family. He knew her already and wanted one on one time. He picked her up and took her for a meal. She likely didn't work. Total 1957...if you must do things that way, then don't complain about the results.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 384
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 4:41:54 AM

This is a dating site for women and men who like each other. We'd thank you kindly for remembering that.
I am a part of your first sentence.
But I did NOT ask you to include me in that "we" thing!
Seems to be a bit of "politics" involved when one person says they're speaking for all.
Sort of like being the King or something.

From the original opening post:
Most women DO put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date... they use make up, wear bras to show maximum breast appeal, dye their hair, and look as appealing as they can for a man.
Whoops, ya lost me there.
It's in my profile.
No make up, no bras, and certainly (although not mentioned) no hair dye.
I've also mentioned, in profile, that I'm not looking to be wined and dined!
As for sex appeal.. in my mind, my opinion, that has nothing to do with either person 'putting on' the appeal.
It's just there.
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 385
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 8:53:12 AM

ahhhhhhhh .... would you mind very much if you were asked, in the spirit of this dating site, to take your political views somewhere else?


The forums are for anyone who cares to post an opinion. Many people are here for posting not dating.

As far as I know, you are not a moderator. Thank goodness.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 386
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 9:38:15 AM

The forums are for anyone who cares to post an opinion. Many people are here for posting not dating.


Well, let me state an opinion then.

-- Men who patronize women as paid companions (whether cash, or dinners, or jewelry) are losers.

NOT an opinion of mine, but rather the consensus of the psychology community in the helping professions:

-- Women who are paid companions don't like men (more generally, no sex worker likes his/her tricks, no matter their orientation or trade).

Anecdote:

Not long ago I interviewed a former high-end call girl for a novel I have in process.

She indicated she LOVED the business. She worked the business for six years as a young woman. During those six years she was homeless for at least six times. After she left the business she was jailed at least once (for petty thievery, she said, food to eat because she was hungry), though a jail sentence would seem rather harsh for her admitted transgression.

She was, when I interviewed her, living in a homeless shelter, unable to scrape together $300 to get to SoCal where she wanted to go (she had written a movie script 12 years ago and wanted to get the movie produced and get rich). When asked why she didn't get a job (and save $300) at Macy*s or Home Depot or wherever, she said "they don't pay a living wage."

By the interview time, she was in her early 40's and when asked about important men in her life over the years, she evaded the question with a tilt of her head, a smile and a comment on my shirt.

Again, my opinion:

-- Men who patronize women as paid companions (whether cash, or dinners, or jewelry) are losers.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 387
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 11:48:49 AM
"Sex appeal" is, by definition, the projection of the ability to sire (or birth) children more likely to survive to adulthood. "

To show how this statement is but ONE opinion, or hopeful destination, and not THE majority answer as it was passed off as.... Companies who make products like Trojan Condoms, Flourish, and make fortunes. Hetero couples who want to start a family, do not use condoms, every time they have sex. Gay people who use, or do not use condoms, have no interest in sire or birthing children with their same sex partner. A Simple Google Search would have educated, as well as potentially enlightened the Poster who made the above statement that appears in quotations.

Sex APPEAL is a very different world from a SEX ACT.

Research is sometimes a wonderful thing. It can make people who think they know it all, humble, AND appear as intelligent as they THINK they are. A Humble person can be very sexy to me, where a uninformed, egotistical know it all, with a bully's chip on their shoulder of either sex, in MY opinion, and the opinion of many others, is a complete turn off .
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 388
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 12:45:37 PM
I hang in there with the suspicions of "Rape". By that I mean I will "attempt" rape. I will continue until what I believe to be "frozen ambition". This occurs when the woman fails to involve herself in the experience presented to her.

Failure to involvements combined with personal involvement to me constitutes rape, and I refuse to involve myself in it.

The woman I want is my sexual slave. If she can not consent to that, she obviously has NO desire for me. I have no need for such trash distractions.

The woman I want also wants me in return. If she fails such desire, she is worthless to me.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 391
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 5:28:23 PM

I want a hot man to take me out to a swanky restaurant so I can have sex w/ him afterwards


If a man is truly hot, what red-blooded woman wants to sit through dinner to get at dessert?

That is the reason hot men seldom(*) do dinner dates, except in an established relationship when they (the couple) want to celebrate something.

Non-hot men (losers in the gene pool) offer any barely-met woman dinner in the hopes she will stick around for a couple hours at a time.

(*) Hot men who in fact are gay or partially gay will often offer dinner to women so they --- the man -- might be seen in public with a woman to stifle rumors.

Want more opinions?

Or, if you want facts, check the psychology details of the typical trick, as understood by the psychology set of the social helper profession. Literature and movies aside, it's an ugly business.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 392
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 5:55:55 PM

Anastasia did not post the stat originally; she was responding to what someone else had said. How is it helpful to bring up even more off topic remarks in response?


Yes she was the first to post them the post she was rebutting didn't post stats just had the statement. That most men and women that marry stay married. Which is true.

She posted three stats. The stats for first marriage divorces are at 41% leaving 59% married which mean most marriages work.

She also posted the second marriage stats at 60% and the third marriage stats at 73%.

Now the way she posted it it seems as there are way more marriages that end in divorce.

Not true as you can't add the stats as she was leading to. If you add just the first and second stats you get 101% now it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know you can't have a percentage higher than 100%!

The off topic remarks were to show the way she presented the stats were wrong.


Why would I be offended by statistics? I do realize you are attempting to cast the blame for the large number of divorces in north America on one gender (which would be silly, because clearly a marriage takes two to make it work) and that's why I thought you were perhaps trying to start another off topic argument.


Which highlights the way she presented her facts............. slanted to seem that more marriages ended in divorce than stay married.....Which again is not true.....Kinda like the stats I showed which are correct....But don't mean one gender is to blame more than another.....But you thought that is why I posted them......However you were wrong. See how the context in which you post stats can't slant them!
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 394
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 6:25:58 PM

You say your intention was to refute the poster's stats about the number of divorces. Why, then, did you make any reference to which gender initiates the divorces? You meant something by it, or you would not have mentioned it at all....


Just as I said before......To show how posting stats in a slanted context as she did makes people think they mean something they don't.

Not going to fight about this....It accomplished what I set out to do....Showing her stats were posted in a slanted context.....End of conversation.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 396
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 6:59:59 PM
This thread, which started out about men who are losers upset when they found out they had been dry humped without the hump over the course of several expensive dinners, has changed into a demonstration of an utter and complete lack of understanding of ordinary statistics.

Tomorrow the Obamacoms duke it out with the neo-cons?

-sigh-
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 397
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 7:40:05 PM


This is just too silly... Seriously... It's not even worth trying to explain...


Then why edit the post and explain?

I am the one that said you can't add them! How did you get I was saying to add them?


Most men, most women, who marry, stay married. Most men, most women, marry in their teens and twenties, a time for most singles when "a dinner date" means a shared pizza.


I gues the word "most" needs to be defined.

Here are some stats for the US.

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%


There is where you first posted the stats you are saying the word most needs ti be defined. Now seeing as he said that "most" people stay married....the only reason to define the word most would be if you disagreed. Seeing as the stats you posted affirm his statement the only reason to post them is you thought second and thirds counted twice.....As the 59% that stays married is most no matter what happens to the ones that are divorced.

Sorry but your attempt at using the stats to show most divorce failed.....And if you weren't trying to do that why question the word "MOST"?

Now please let this rest and get back on topic!
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 398
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 8:02:51 PM

Me thinks you assume way too much...

I was just trying to quantify the word "most".

It appears to be 41 % divorce rate for first marriages.
By ricochet , 59 % stay married.
So for first marriages "most" is equal to 59 %

It appears to be 61 % divorce rate for second marriages. (An OTHER group)
By ricochet from 39 % stay married.
So for those that marry a second time, "most" is equal to 39 %.


Sorry but the fact you seem to be missing is that seeing as a majority stay married the first time. Even if 99% of second, third and forth marriages end in divorce then the percentage that stays married grows not shrinks!

See the fact you tried to get by the fact that most stay married shows your slant of the stats!

Please let this drop as you have failed to show a majority divorce no matter the times they have been married!!!
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 399
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 8:19:19 PM
I am done as I showed the last statement you made that a majority of second and third divorces could never add up to a majority of divorces overall. That was the original statement and it was true!
Now I am done with your fallacious stats!
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 400
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/6/2010 9:27:57 PM
okay, okay, okay. follow the bouncing ball.

Of 100,000 people who marry, 59% stay married.

Of the 41,000 who divorced, _some_ unstated percentage married a second time. Just for kicks and likely more or less accurate, let's say that 30% of them (30% of 41% of 100,000, or about 12,000) remarried.

Of THAT 12,000, 40% stayed married, about 4,800 people.

Of the 7,200 who divorced a second time, let's say 5% (about 360) remarried.

Of those 360, 90 stayed married.

Let's add 'em up. Of 100,000 who married once, 59,000 plus 4,800 who married a second time, plus 90 who married a 3rd time stayed married in the end.

No matter how YOU count, 63,000 out of 100,000 _IS_ "most" to me.

Given YOUR figures, I hope you don't mind very much if I stick by my statement that most who marry, stay married.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 401
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/7/2010 3:57:26 AM
" I think I would prefer to change the sex appeal to the "IT" factor. "

That's a good way of stating it.

Decades ago, in the 1920's, there was Clara Bow, who was The' IT ' Girl. There was a movie called IT, with Clara Bow. She was a Natural Sex Symbol.

You Tube has Free Clara Bow Videos. Enjoy!
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 402
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/7/2010 4:38:12 AM
omg, this is such a hoot!...

ww says,
..."(*)Hot men who in fact are gay or partially gay..."

he doesn't elaborate which part that may be.
because of this irrational statement it's obvious he is also a homophobic.

omg,
surely not?
a "not hot" right wing homophobic on the loose?...
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 403
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/7/2010 7:19:01 AM
It's amusing to see the painful looking contortions some will go through to justify as moral the fleecing of some poor schmuck out of a bunch of expensive dinners.

A little piece of trivia from a psychologist friend: 40% of the marks of high end gigolo's were once sex workers themselves.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 404
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/7/2010 8:06:57 AM
..."(*)Hot men who in fact are gay or partially gay..."

In the same message, numbered 475, ww asked, "Want more opinions?" Is that one of them ?

Over and over, I'm gonna be saying Brenton Woods's ," Oogam Boogam " Spell in reverse, to cleanse my poor computer screen !

To each his or her own. But to ME, ww's quote about men is NOT sexually appealing.

( Once again, Sexually Appealing, means SEX APPEAL, not SEX ACT ) Appealing is not the same as ACTING on that appeal.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 405
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/7/2010 8:22:42 AM
" (*) Hot men who in fact are gay or partially gay ahhhhhhhh ...."

Quoting ww's previous, very generous offer...." would you mind very much if you were asked, in the spirit of this dating site, to take your political views somewhere else?"

Is he going to include this very generous offer that he made to THREE people, to himself ?
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 406
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/7/2010 8:26:21 AM
^^^ Men who are not sexually appealing buy pricey dinners for just met women because that is the surest way to keep some small percentage of just met women hanging around for a couple hours at a time.

I have had women tell me they absolutely refuse -- from hard experience -- to go on a "fine dining" dinner date with a man they just met, for such men are less than pleasant company and have a cash transaction mentality that causes the hair to stand up on the back of the neck.

YMMV.

BTW,a statement that _some_ men whom women find "hot" are gay or partially guy is not a political statement at all. That such men _sometimes_ take care to be frequently seen in public with a woman to stiffle rumors is so common it is a cliche. Ever notice the guy in the office who is always forever telling everyone in earshot about his latest?
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 408
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/18/2010 12:16:25 PM
Some people date just to have company. Nothing sexually expected, or desired. Others have company and don't want to date. Personally, I've never been in that position, but I wonder how many people have.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 409
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/2/2011 2:31:59 AM
According to at least 2 studies, MOST people will lie to impress, and they lie in routine conversation. There are so many things that attract one person to another, but if most people lie, it's no wonder that so many profiles state.. NO LIARS!

Lying is a total turn off to me, and I no longer find that person appealing, nor sexually appealing.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 410
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/2/2011 11:49:03 AM

However, if you want to get to know the person behind the mask, go have a few drinks, shoot pool, and sing karaoke.

Or do some volunteer work together,or attend an auction, or even whitewash the chicken coop or dip sheep....
However, in my neck of the woods and demographics, dinner or dinner and a movie are still reasonably common dates. And some people DO date more for company than for the interest of forging a pair-bond. Other people look to get a sexual liason going ASAP without undue effort and expense. When 2 people of like minds manage to get together, its' a beautiful thing, whether it's a white wedding or a comfortable FwB. The problem is tha minds can tend to be fluid things and they don't always stay in the same paradigm. Add in a few people whose minds ARE permanently set in obtaining,as "inexpensively"(in terms of not just money, but emotion, effort, time,etc)all the gratifications they believe they are by Gawd ENTITLED to, and you have a game in which the only rule seems to be "Carry out your own dead". Which often seems to be EXACTLY what dating has evolved to.
As for the whole statistics thing, I believe it's reasonably safe to say that they seem to indicate that about half of marriages/committed relationships will FORMALLY fail, and that many which remain technically intact really are held together by the emotional equivalents of baling twine, 14gauge fence wire and duct tape. It sounds like stats pretty strongly indicate that there is a nearly 50% rate of infidelity. One ought to look at this and wonder why in the WORLD does anybody want to date! But yet we persist in this foolishness,even people who've done a pair-bond or 2, raised some offspring and ought to know better!-keep looking for whatever the hell it is they
ARE looking for(this varies from person to person!),despite the dubious odds.
Are we all just awesome or are we all just nutcases???
Cindy O
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 411
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/3/2011 9:43:15 AM

In a current thread, many women have been jumping all over a man who had wined and dined a woman for awhile, because was complaining that she didn't give him sex.

As well they should, for the same reason they should jump all over women who have sex to obtain a relationship. If what you want is dinner, have dinner. If you want sex, don't try to get it by wining and dining someone. Make it clear that dating involves sex. If you want to pay for sex, find someone who will acomodate that.

Most women DO put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date... they use make up, wear bras to show maximum breast appeal, dye their hair, and look as appealing as they can for a man.

So? When I got ready for dates, I shaved, took a shower, put on dress slacks and a dress shirt, used deoderant and a little cologne, brushed my hair (what's left of it), and in general tried to be as appealing as possible. Since setting up a date requres some effort, I would think most men and women with at least average intelligence make some effort to appeal to their date, so as to not squander the effort put into setting it up.

My opinion is that any woman who's surprised, and angry that a man who's been wining and dining her for awhile might likely anticipate having sex with her, isn't living in the real world for this date and age.

My opinion is that any woman who is surprised and angry that a man might anticipate having sex with her regardless of where they go on a date, is probably not living in the real world. On the other hand, I think a guy who expects buying dinner to entitle him to sex is not living in the real world either.

In this day and age, most men anticipate having sexual relations with a woman that they have been wining and dining, within a month or 2.

A month or 2? If you haven't had sex within month or 2, then you should consider each other friends without benefits.
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