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 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 25
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Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Nope. If anything, hearing other people's stories, from what ever source, gives me other possibilities to consider.
The feeling you are having are common enough. I sometimes get a bit teary (guys, leave me alone) with some of those movies, but I can keep clear in my mind that IT'S A MOVIE. Real life is never as neat as the messiest movie.
Go ahead and watch them for fun, and even for ideas of what you want to look for in a partner, and in yourself, but DON'T let yourself believe that real life will ever match them. You'll spend a great deal of time alone, or in delusional relationships if you do.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 29
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:38:24 PM
Sure

I cried like a baby.

I could not sleep for days.

I began to question the meaning of life.

And then I realized it was not a movie, it was not a tv show.

It was all I could save in my car insurance.




 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 30
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:47:03 PM
That's actually a very interesting question. I think they must, at least in the sense that they shape our ideas about what relationships are supposed to be like. When we are very young, especially. Like the impossibly thin models can warp little girls' ideas about what a healthy body is, I suspect popular culture can distort our expectations for relationships.
 4everPossible99
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 31
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:17:00 PM
I think romantic movies and TV shows can inspire you to be more creative. I think they can be very beneficial.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 32
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:24:29 PM
I just got done watching Gran Torino......now I want to improve relations with my Asian neighbors by slowly warming up to them and defending them from local thugs.

Here's the thing about fantasy & reality. Fantasy doesn't need a reality check to make sure everything is logical and makes sense and is feasible IRL. If it did most films would be over in under 10 minutes. Fantasy exists within itself and plays by it's own rules and it's purpose is to entertain you not document RL.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 34
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Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:40:48 AM
If people use 'romcoms' as a platform for how to do a relationship then tthey will surely grow up more slowly , if ever

~sc~
 IHavePopPopInTheAttic
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 35
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Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2009 1:24:01 PM
If you love Jim and Pam and are within my criteria PLEASE MESSAGE ME!!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 36
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2009 1:36:52 PM
Oh absolutely,

but I have a list of my own:

Gladiator
Saving Private Ryan
Any Given Sunday


I just love that line that goes "On my command, unleash hell."

Oh wait, Romantic Comedies. What'ta hell is that?

Heheheh
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 37
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2009 1:40:32 PM
Ha ha! Outmind, well said!
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 38
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Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2009 1:47:17 PM
I have to admit that I've thought that people ought to watch 'Mad About You' rather than something like 'Everybody Loves Raymond'. In the former, the protagonists were mostly kind to each other and good-natured even in disagreement. I don't think that's a bad model to emulate.
 coveredinpaint
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 41
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2009 2:47:06 PM
I may get my man card revoked for this little admission, but after we watched Music and Lyrics, my ex and I used to sing the main song from that movie to each other all time.
 pandusvenator
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 43
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2009 2:56:30 PM
All media sources effect your ability to have a relationship.

Especially opinion leaders and silly relationship book writers with 3 or 4 divorces.

Even your fairy tales that were told to you as a young girl.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 54
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Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2009 6:34:38 PM
Nope, because I realize that television and movies aren't real. It seems like it would be nice to have someone who did all the right things and said all the right things but realistically, I kind of think that would make you want to puke after a while.

Also, if you have movie-type stuff going on in your relationship, it is highly likely that it is all smoke and mirrors with no real substance at all. I think you would only fall prey to this type of thinking if you actually believed a relationship of that nature really exists.

I know a few couples that are truly happy but they don't remotely lead the type of life one imagines in the movies. They deal with the same unattractive things we all do with bills, work, kids and other issues and I'm sure there are moments when they don't like their partners all that much, but overall, what I see seems so much better than the movie stuff anyway.

People need many people in their lives, the relationships one usually sees in the movies suggests that the right SO can be the answer to all of life's questions but good relationships involve more than the two people, a whole network of people that fulfill various needs for both parties.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 55
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Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2009 8:25:26 PM
TV and movies are nothing like my real-life on-again/off-again "thing" with my occasional honey. She's way more independent than any weepy entertainment vixen; doesn't seem to need me much at all, which is OK I guess.

Would the episode in question be the WEDDING between Jim and Pam? If so, that WAS classic. Laughed my ass off! The two of them were cute, and boss Michael Scott (Steve Carell) with his usual stupid social iniquities, especially during his self-imposed toast, really made that a memorable wedding. The bald office worker (I forget his name) soaking his feet "my dogs are really barkin'" in the hotel ice chest was hysterical.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 56
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2009 9:45:24 PM
I blame all of those vampire movies for my neck fetish.
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 57
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2009 10:15:25 PM
Not at all. I rarely , if ever , watch tv. And my favorite movies involve blood and guts. Though, I have to admit I've been moved my movies..they just don't directly affect my relations. Very ,very rare is the movie that is so profound that it actually changes my attitude, behavior. Only a few come to mind..Life is Beautiful. Fight Club.

Though, admittedly PS I Love You stirred a new desire to visit Ireland ;-)
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 58
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 12/3/2009 8:42:16 AM
I usually try to avoid romantic TV & movies...give me the blood & horror...that probably explains my view of relationships somewhat...hahahaha
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 62
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 1/17/2010 3:52:46 AM
There is no such thing of a perfect person or relationship....it simply does not exist.

T.V. and the movie's might inspire my emotions of how I react to them....but thats as far as it goes.

I have been alive for a while, and thru my experiences, and getting to really know myself...I have a pretty good idea of what I want of a relationship.

I don't live in a fantisie world inspired by T.V. , the movies or books and consider it childish, if I let those things dictate my life.

Personally I think that is where some go wrong, expecting too much based on these things. Did the show you watched show how they handle sex differences? the difficulty of having children?, not being able to make the car payment? etc...these are real life issue's ....generally the movie's don't show real life.

Some watch porn and then expect there mate to perform like in the movie's, because to them that is perfect sex....generally it leads to problems.
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 1/17/2010 4:58:53 AM
Only those that don't live in reality allow mass-media to guide them through life. And most get nowhere.
 Profile-Writer
Joined: 11/13/2009
Msg: 64
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 1/17/2010 5:28:21 AM
!!! Shrek !!!

... a land far far away. . .. s i g h . . ..
 *pisceseyes
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 67
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2010 8:03:32 PM
"Into the Wild" isn't romantic but surrre makes you love your freedom....forget the nutty ex lovers.... Im going on a roadtrip!
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 68
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 6/3/2012 8:16:44 AM

Have you ever felt like something you've seen or read from mass media affects you and it keeps you from being open to all other possibilities in terms of relationship?

For me it's exactly the opposite. My ex and I actually had a few, um, heated disagreements over the years about this. He'd bought into the OP's point, which is circular - people have a subconscious perfect relationship that will make them happy forevermore and that's what Hollywood displays in the movies, which triggers that subconscious image and reinforces it which feeds the addiction to the image.

One reason my ex used to get pissed that I watched the movie The Holiday so often. His assumption (that I watched it as escapist longing to be like the beautiful people with their perfect relationship) was his projection onto me.

So I began paying close attention to what movies, commercials, advertisements, songs, natural vistas, overheard conversations, etc triggered that sort of intense longing (usually accompanied by crying, since I'm crier - sad or happy, I cry at both extremes). The answer was that the words, moments, visuals, displays, scenes that touch me represent or reenactments of special times in my own life! They are not fantasies created by ad-men/Disney/Hollywood that I wish I could have, they are reminders of moments I've already had and am, momentarily, re-experiencing.

So to answer OP's question - no, the mass media does not affect me by keeping me from being open to other relationship possibilities. The mass media reminds me that relationship, as I already live it is the mechanism by which I have these awesome experiences. I see no reason to exchange my path (that's working) for someone else's.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 69
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 6/3/2012 11:52:08 AM
i definitely think movies, music, literature, tv, and porn have an impact on our views of relationships. for women it starts with cinderella, and for men, i suppose it starts with his first glimpse at dad's penthouse magazine or the sports illustrated swim suit issue. somewhere along the line we develop these ideas of romance and have almost a platonic form of true love. for each of us that ideal is different, and often they are expressed in our fantasies. i think some of these are destructive to relationships, and of course, some of them are beneficial. it's a matter of how well you navigate that fine line between fact versus fiction, and fantasy versus reality. in our current culture, young people are now having a trouble being able to differentiate between literal language and figurative - which i think is a harbinger of all sorts of social ills, including a deep dissatisfaction with real-life intimate relationships. i have had guy friends tell me that they try to act out things with their partners that they have seen in a porno, and i have also had male friends tell me that they can't get aroused unless a woman acts like a porn star in the bed room. the sad thing is, and i do point this out to my male friends, that in a porno, no matter what the guy is doing the woman acts like it's the most amazing sexual experience of her life. you also never hear the woman tell the guy, " um...a little to the right, honey," and you never hear the man ask, either. none of this is real, and when people have misguided notions about sex, love, and romance, well, they will always feel like their own relationships are falling short of this unattainable ideal.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 70
Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 1/24/2013 12:14:28 AM
No, I can't say that they have affected my relationships, but I will say there is a movie that I've identified with. That is, I can say that I was that character in a couple of my relationships; the feelings were stronger on my side than the other way around. . .Tom in 500 days of Summer. Which is why I'm taking a long break from dating :D . .in four months, it'll be a year off from dating, and I'm enjoying my time off. Do I miss dating? Not really.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 71
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Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?
Posted: 1/24/2013 7:54:12 AM

Do romantic movies or TV shows affect your relationship?


No. It's an extraordinary fantasy, while our real lives are ordinary.
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