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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?      Home login  
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 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 41
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

The best guideline is how well she kisses.

I had one lover who was a lousy kisser but when it came to sex, we just couldn't get enough of each other.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 42
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/4/2010 11:34:19 AM
I haven't read this whole thread ...but I have read many just like it ..and they usually boil down to just a few different opinions ...first there are the people that say ..if a woman wants a guy to respect her she wont put out before ..x number date ..and this is of no indication of her sexual prowess ...

then there are the people that if a woman puts out two soon she is a slut and easy therefore she is likely very experienced yet not relationship material..yet these people usually admit to either being or knowing someone who had a long term relationship after having sex on the first date

then there are the people that say if the chemistry is there go for it and take your chances on what the other person will think ..and how they will turn out sexually after the new is worn off the sex

or some combination of the above

here is my take on it
ever sense my first sex ..I have always been a very sexual person ..I like it very much ..and I have strived to get very good at it to assure that I will keep getting it on a regular basis ....however my ultimate goal has been a super long term relation ship with someone who shares an explosive sexual connection with me ....I have always thought it would be best to get to know someone before having sex ..but I have always not done that ..because of my over active sexual energy ..when the chemicals start flowing ..and explosions start going off .. I have jumped into bed with a willing partner within minutes of meeting them ..not every time but who am I to judge a woman because she feels the same as me ...face it a woman as sexually charged as I am is exactly what I want ...a woman who cant resist me or the sexual chemistry between us is ..not something I will blow off for the night or for ever

I am just confident enough to think that just because I can charm the pants off of her the first date ..don't mean that she will take them off for anyone ..if a guy believes that the only way a woman would sleep with him on the first date is that she would do anyone ..that says he thinks he is nothing special ..I know that with the right person I can be as special for her as she can be for me ..that may be evident on the first date or it may take a few ..but If she is not ready pretty soon i am thinking that sex to her is just not important on the same level as it is for me
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 43
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/4/2010 2:41:13 PM
On the flip side, ask the question 'the longer it takes to get her in bed...the lousier lover YOU ARE!' Especially with older more experienced people, if they balk at getting closer, it usually means they don't find the experience all that enjoyable, so pull the 'I don't do casual sex 'card. Or they just don't fancy YOU. Sometimes WAITING does NOT make it better. Just delaying a disappointing experience.
 wolftxusa
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 44
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/4/2010 3:23:13 PM
"the lousier lover YOU ARE (...) it usually means they don't find the experience all that enjoyable"
I don't follow the logic. I thought it was about waiting for the first time of having sex, so by definition YOU are not the one responsible for the bad experience they had... Your logic only makes sense for subsequent sex, in which case I wonder why they'd go for seconds.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 45
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/5/2010 7:00:43 AM

On the flip side, ask the question 'the longer it takes to get her in bed.


well that makes me feel good


more first dates than not ..and there have been quiet a few in my long and sorted life ... I have managed to charm the pants off of her ..or maybe let her seduce me ..as the case might be ..and it is what it is ..all first date sex means to me is that at that time we both wanted each other more than we wanted to wait ... Thing is I have never had a woman say they regretted having sex with me whether it happened on the first date or at a later date ..I have even been dumped and the woman said ..though we are not right for each other I will never regret making love to you ...how can a guy argue with that??
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 46
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The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/5/2010 11:47:03 AM
I would say the choosier a woman is about her partners the more emphasis she puts on compatibility and chemistry. If the chemistry is right....look out~
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 47
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The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/5/2010 2:50:58 PM
That would not be my assumption, OP. But to get her to bed is like creating icing on the cake: right ingredients ~ good dexterity ~ passion in creating (product) ~ sprinkled with TLC ... and the icing feels just so natural to top-up the whole experience.
Would the lover be lousy once lovingly pu$$yfooted and stirred? I doubt it.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 48
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/5/2010 6:57:30 PM
What's the rush? It could be that he only has 3 months to live. I've often wondered, what's the wait? If people enjoy sex as much as they should, why wait? Waiting, even if learn while waiting, that's lost time you can never recover. So even if you've gained you've lost. Like I've said before, we do so much waiting in life as it is, why wait for something you really should not want to wait for "sex".
 Captain_Wayne
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 49
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/5/2010 7:52:50 PM
"I think that most of the people who think of it as waiting, must have a hard time getting sex in general...
Otherwise it would not be that big of a deal to wait... It's not like getting sex is difficult... so it can't be all that long since you got laid last... and if it is, then YOU are the reason you're waiting..."

You have just won the prize for the most arrogant and sarcastic statement of the year. Congratulations.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 50
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/7/2010 9:47:41 AM
I can only speak for myself...but all my relationships started with sex within a week of the first date....any longer and I feel they're playing games. I have dated women for more than a week with no sex but bored of them and they never became relationships.

I have NOT noticed a correlation between quality and quantity of lovers. I have noticed that the more expressive, communicative and confident they are the better though.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 51
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/7/2010 11:40:35 AM
I think the same pretty much applies to me and my past relationships. If people feel inclined to puting affection and intimacy on hold for long, I don't think that's a good sign. I think it indicates one or both are hung up with personality complications. I can only recall one occasion where I conversed via the internet with a woman for a month or so before she dicided to meet me and have some hanky panky. And after that, it was back to the games for her, so I just said forget it.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 52
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/7/2010 12:03:01 PM
"Ok Guys...what's been your experience? The longer it takes to get her in bed, the less talented a lover she is? Or is there any relationship at all? Talent Vs. Virtue..The more old-fashioned...the less passionate/talented lover she is?"

OP maybe it is the kind of music you play once you get them in the sack
however long/short that might be

Kenny G??

Only if I'm in the elevator, going to work, or at the waiting room at my dentist

I can tell you this much, if I'm about to get my freak on and the guy plays his Kenny G, jams, I would lose any interest right there.
Same goes for Yanni, just a thought

So those you think are lousy lovers, maybe they are just in a rush ..............to leave
 wolftxusa
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 53
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/7/2010 12:32:06 PM
The longer it takes, the less likely it is THAT it's going to happen.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 54
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/7/2010 2:31:40 PM
The longer it takes, the less likely it is THAT it's going to happen.


Very True!


Here's the kicker: When I was dating a bisexual swinger, she would encourage me to bring girls home from the club I worked. When talking to girls that started playing the waiting game I'd just say : "Look, you're pretty hot, and I think my GF would like you too!".
BINGO... they'd ask to see a picture of her then give me their number.
One was giving me this speech about how she doesn't have sex in the first six months of dating, yada yada....I said threesome and she flipped like a light switch! she was like "Oh hell yeah!".

I've even seen women in the forums say they'll make a guy wait if they see a potential relationship with them because they think he'll respect them more and they want toTEST him....yet if they just want to get their groove on they'll jump right in the sack with a different guy.
Talk about double standards and playing games!
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 55
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The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/7/2010 3:02:49 PM
Wow... locker room talk from a 47 year old man? I really shouldn't be surprised by this stuff anymore...
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 56
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The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/12/2010 3:52:10 PM
My personal experience is that if it takes more than several dates to have sex, she likely has intimacy issues, and is NOT that good a lover.

A little over a year ago, there was a highly emotionally charged POF thread about men and women who EXPECT sex before the 3 rd date. It can be found by using the search box.
 msfourdating
Joined: 6/27/2010
Msg: 57
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/16/2010 1:09:27 PM
Men have been waiting more than 3 dates to get me into bed and it's because I'm over orgasm - less sex. The sex lacks an orgasm b/c I am not out spoken enough to get my needs met. Because he could care less if I orgasm. Because we are lacking an emotional connection.
If I get naked with you after I know you better will you be disappointed because I waited because I'm lacking talent? What a silly question. Yikes. Why even such a discussion that would be over generalizing?
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 58
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 11/16/2010 5:07:11 PM
I can see those angry faces now. OP you're in for some hell buckle up.
 animatedone
Joined: 11/17/2010
Msg: 59
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 12/3/2010 12:52:00 AM
well, my ex was a good 3 months before we slept together and it was pretty bad. But really I chalk it up to her ultra religious mother drilling into her how dirty sex is and how it was her duty as a wife. She basically wanted sex once a month and most things were off limits including oral.
 Shocknawe7575
Joined: 10/4/2009
Msg: 60
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 12/4/2010 9:55:49 AM
Passion makes up for any lack of "talent". I would rather be with a girl that was passionate and into it then a pro. Besides if the first time you are with her and she is a pro, that has nothing to do with you. Still I have been in a few relationships that were first date things and I always find the first time a little weird, she is thinking does he like it and I am thinking the same thing, it takes about 2 to 3 times befor everyone is comfy and having fun. But that is my exp, not saying the first time is bad I have had great first time sex and some that were not as good. Still the more you are with someone the better it gets well according to me. Besides ya know what they say, sex is like pizza..
 Munchausen
Joined: 11/28/2010
Msg: 61
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 12/4/2010 11:02:10 AM

what's been your experience? The longer it takes to get her in bed, the less talented a lover she is?

Usually if I am paying close enough attention to determine and measure length (candace 4 dates, 2.5 weeks, sally 16 dates, 3.7 weeks) of how long it takes to have sex then it usually means the relationship is crap anyways, and more than likely I've stepped out long ago, and I am just focusing on getting laid, which means that more than likely that is why I started dating them in the first place, and then I feel like a bad person.

So my experience has been to not focus on milemarkers like "when we had sex" or "how has this relationship 'progressed' compared to my other ones" so much as "what have I learned about them, am I paying attention to them."


The more old-fashioned...the less passionate/talented lover she is?

Not really anything in the OP about someone banging every single person on the first date, and then deciding with you to wait simply because they've grown or they're just playing the "well that didn't work, let's try something else with this one" game.
Probably mentioned in an older response I didn't read though.

Or just because they wait has no bearing on their virture, and lots of sex does not necessarily mean talent or they learned from their experience.
 womaninblack
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 62
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 12/4/2010 11:38:29 AM
Shocknawe7575... I couldn't agree more with your post.

Some of us prefer to wait 'til we're really hungry. Sexual tension is part of the whole delicious seduction process and it does make it even yummier.


Besides ya know what they say, sex is like pizza.

Pizza? (i love pizza!) No I don't know, what do they say?

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's Amore.....
 Shocknawe7575
Joined: 10/4/2009
Msg: 63
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 12/4/2010 2:30:32 PM
The saying goes. Sex is like pizza if it's good it's great if it's bad it's still really good. LOL


the more you know.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 64
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 12/4/2010 4:01:59 PM
Threads like these would probably explain one of the reasons why most people like to jump in the sack sooner rather than later because they fear a potentially lousy lover?? Pffft.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 65
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 12/4/2010 4:38:46 PM
It's not ABOUT "getting her in bed"...that OUGHT to be a mutual decision,and it's AMAZING what mutual motivation can do. And no, that mutual motivation doesn't need to have a big long courtship and promises of forever. And don't expect porno-film action on the first couple of go-rounds,sometimes it takes a little to get in sync with one another.
Cindy O
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