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 vampyreshadow
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 344
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A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?Page 18 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
anyone expecting sex from me, within any set time frame would be a deal breaker, and I am far from a prude :) First time having sex shouldn't come until both parties are comfortable with each other, stupid expectations creates pressure, and sex should be relaxed, flowing, and non scripted,
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 345
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/10/2012 5:20:54 AM
well, according to Cosmo (my bible), if sex is gonna happen its usually by the 3rd or 4th date, after that your in friend-zone.This is assumming you both are healthy, normal sexual, adults.When i was in my 20's i once waited a year and a half for this young woman to come around..she never did..and that was a year and half i'll never get back. That aint gonna happen again..burn me once..shame on you..burn me twice ..shame on me..
As to your question..just DO IT, man!! Until you have intimate relations..how do you know u are truly compatible?
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 346
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A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/10/2012 6:26:13 AM
I would forget them.....! You are just getting to know each other and sex is way too soon. I like to wait till the person is committed to me and really cares about me. I guess I am old-fashioned.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 347
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/10/2012 6:33:59 AM
i wouldnt call it old-fashioned..i'd call it being a prude..lol..
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 348
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:03:09 PM
If a guy expects sex by the third date....and won't wait....
then we're not right for each other, and should go our separate ways =)
I won't do something I don't want to do just to keep someone around.
Personally...I prefer sex on the 25th date. lol =)
 d2327h
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 349
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:42:11 PM
I completely agree.

I just had my 3rd date with an awesome guy and everything was going great including the goodnight kiss when he suggested we get together over the weekend and hinted at having sex. I just kind of smiled because....what DO you say? lol At that point he says, "Do you have a 5 date rule or something?"

I have no rules or timetables and it usually happens when it happens, and I told him that. I really liked him but now i feel all creepy like there is some kind of expectation of sex which, for me, ruins the romantic part of it. Now it's an appointment--that I haven't scheduled with him. lol

Oh well!
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 350
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/10/2012 8:11:32 PM
Old thread and subject matter

I believe it all depends on how well you can read people. Majority it seems put way too much emphasis on sex. It should never be a definitive factor in the progression of relationship (if there is a such) nor should there be a time frame. In my understanding 3 date rule came to be to verify that your prospect isn't a psychotic killer. Honesty and mutual comfort levels is what's most important and there is a difference between teasing and playing games. Teasing is fun
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 351
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A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/11/2012 1:25:28 PM


My question to everyone, MEN AND WOMEN... how would you feel if a potential partner told you, ( or you read in a Forum ) that this person would not wait for sex with you on a 3 rd date ?


Actually this wouldn't bother me, kind of good to know, ya know? Sounds to me this person is weeding out people not of the same ilk. May they find their match!
 Lssweetie
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 352
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/11/2012 7:22:38 PM
With this being the age of texting and all, it seems the "1" "2" or "3" date really isn't the way it used to be. Some people will text or call someone for almost a month before meeting. The first initial meeting is def a no go, because u need to make sure that there is a physical in person attraction. But if you talk to someone for day's or weeks before the next date, is that really just the second date? I am a firm believer in "it takes time" to know a true person, so I am never in a rush for sex, but if u both feel it, and feel the moment is right, then that's what matters.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 353
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A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/12/2012 3:22:20 AM
" I am a firm believer in "it takes time" to know a true person, so I am never in a rush for sex, but if u both feel it, and feel the moment is right, then that's what matters. "

It does take time to know a person. I also firmly believe that whether 2 mature, consenting adults have sex on their first date, or wait 6 months , their pre existing personal issues are going to be the same, and the relationship will remain or end due to those personal issues, NOT whether the couple had sex on the first date, the 2nd, the 3rd....

I am not , ' blanket advocating' first date sex. I'm saying that in the context of the pre existing personal issues, and conditions that I mentioned in the above paragraph, if first date sex happens, it doesn't matter for those reasons mentioned above.
 icallbs
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 354
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/12/2012 9:00:18 PM

That's the part with which I disagree. You are confusing mechanical skills attained from experience with an innate sensuality that has nothing to do with anything mechanical or how a person likes some specific thing done. I'd say that if you don't recognize it, then you really don't appreciate anything but the mechanics. When you said that everyone was a virgin once, in effect, you said as much. The aspect of sensuality to which I refer is something you can recognize in a person with essentially no sexual experience.


Amen. Thanks for saying this so well, Abelian.
 cashleys
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 355
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 1:35:00 AM
I would think that is nonsense. There are no numbers that are appropriate to this. But also there should be no prejudging if it is the first. It is how you feel, what you choose and when you choose to be intimate. No numbers are approriate. I was told not to long ago from a guy he didnt call because he had been told that he had to wait a certain "number" of days. I said that is just silly. Be who you are, dont play games. Call if you want to or don't call if you don't want to. Just be 'real' stop the games people.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 356
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 3:29:37 AM

d2327h: I just had my 3rd date with an awesome guy and everything was going great including the goodnight kiss when he suggested we get together over the weekend and hinted at having sex. I just kind of smiled because....what DO you say? lol At that point he says, "Do you have a 5 date rule or something?"

I have no rules or timetables and it usually happens when it happens, and I told him that. I really liked him but now i feel all creepy like there is some kind of expectation of sex which, for me, ruins the romantic part of it. Now it's an appointment--that I haven't scheduled with him. lol

Oh well!


Whether you admit it or nor, you were already starting to put that guy in the 'friendzone'. If you didn't want to rip his clothes off and do it in the hallway, you weren't feeling it at all. LOL back at you.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 357
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A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 4:07:32 AM
" d2327h: I just had my 3rd date with an awesome guy and everything was going great including the goodnight kiss when he suggested we get together over the weekend and hinted at having sex. I just kind of smiled because....what DO you say? lol At that point he says, "Do you have a 5 date rule or something?"

I have no rules or timetables and it usually happens when it happens, and I told him that. I really liked him but now i feel all creepy like there is some kind of expectation of sex which, for me, ruins the romantic part of it. Now it's an appointment--that I haven't scheduled with him. lol

Oh well! "



The key word here is that he SUGGESTED. He made a suggestion, which is not the same as stating that he was EXPECTING. Yes, you can FEEL that he was expecting, but you STATE that he SUGGESTED. Which is it ?

If after 3 dates, and an enjoyable good night kiss, he HINTED/SUGGESTED at having sex, you have the option to tell him that you aren't yet ready for that to happen. He made a suggestion, not a demand.

Face it, if he had NO sexual interest in you after 3 dates, would you have gone out with him ? He DID have a sexual interest in you, and he was a Gentleman about verbally expressing it, in my eyes, because he JINTED/SUGGESTED , and he did not make any octopus moves on you, according to what seems apparent from what you wrote.

If your comfort zone and his are different, due to differences in timing, be mature and respectful to him, as I believe that he was to you, and TALK ABOUT IT WITH HIM.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 358
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A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 4:30:07 AM
Correction:

He DID have a sexual interest in you, and he was a Gentleman about verbally expressing it, in my eyes, because he HINTED/SUGGESTED , and he did not make any octopus moves on you, according to what seems apparent from what you wrote.

I wasn't there to hear the conversation , nor witness how deeply involved the kiss and physical contact were, nor the tones of the conversation itself.

I'm not sure that your simply smiling after he made his hint/suggestion, was in the best taste, nor am I sure that his statement/question was in the best taste, when he said to the effect of...do you have a 5 date rule, or something ?

There may have been a misunderstanding of what you were each ready for, and what you each perceived the other as being ready for. There aren't any victims here, unless you are making him out to be the Persecutor; even then, I say this is more about you than his respectful hinting/suggesting.
 Jsana
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 359
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 2:22:21 PM
No one should push anyone into the bedroom, it just should happen naturally, whenever that is.
 jackiejc
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 360
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 4:02:13 PM
To me sex is only if you meet and there is chemistry !And actually that can be on a first date tenth date whenever the couple is comfortable with it ! To me if someone gave me a timeline I would quit talking to them and block them .That would be a red flag for me ! Because I am on here to meet and get to know someone first .This is a dating site not an escort site!
 PinkNeonSocks78
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 361
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 5:40:28 PM
OP: I'm a go with the flow kind of gal and if someone told me that I'd I think I'd view them the same way you mentioned, which is controlling or has rules to dating. To me, there are no rules. We're all adults and whatever happens happens. If you're not adult enough to handle that then I think it's kind of dumb to create rules or expectations.

I date to have fun. Simple as that. Dating someone who is putting expectations on me or laying their rules out on the table well, they just aren't that fun now are they.
 excessivemayhem
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 362
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 6:28:03 PM
ugh. screw that crap. yes i've had sex occassionally on the 2nd date, but its always been a natural thing and never had anything like a "timetable to have it by then or no 3rd date" happen to me.
what a joke. usually i wait for a couple of months of dating for the most part. i don't like being told/forced to make decisions about anything important like sex, especially if the relationship is still in the early stages. and YES i've been dumped for NOT having sex with a woman.
 merveilluex
Joined: 3/28/2011
Msg: 363
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 10:55:59 PM

You know the first time you meet someone if they sexually attract you. Just let it happen naturally...
 OutdoorsyBCguy
Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 364
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 11:13:39 PM
Hmmmm maybe i have been doing this wrong all this time then? Usually initiate sex if I sense boredom (often on the first date) that way I can get a second or more dates ;)
 excessivemayhem
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 365
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 11:27:31 PM
merveilluex put it exactly right there....please read her post. about two posts above mine
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 366
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A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/25/2012 3:38:19 PM
" I had gone out w/one man who said we had hit it off when we met for coffee. But he wanted to sleep w/me that night to see if we hit it off sexually. Once I told him I wanted to get to know him more on emotional & mental state, if that makes sense, he said that idea was stupid. Personally, I thought the whole conversation was stupid...lol. Needless to say, I never seen or talk to him again."

I guess he thought that he could BUY you, and get a horizontal trial run, all from a cup of coffee.

I don't do EXPECTING .
 snowstorm22
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 367
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/25/2012 4:11:08 PM
I refuse to sleep with anyone until i am in a relationship with them. 1 -2 weeks, how ever long it takes.
NO 3RD DATE. this is ridculous. oh and proof that they are std free :)
 RunningFool7
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 368
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:14:15 PM
Someone wanting to have sex with me after the 3rd date...hmmm...that's a tough one. LOL.

-All men

Just because I'd go on a third date with her, if I wasn't feeling it then I wouldn't go for it. I don't plan out my sex, it just happens. I slip or trip on to a girl (total accident) ... and... you know the rest! Kidding!
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