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 Vrothu
Joined: 11/7/2009
Msg: 156
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?Page 5 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
I have to admit I haven’t read this whole thread. However I think "expecting" sex by the third date is REALY dumb.


Personally I don’t get involved with someone unless I truly believe there is a future for us in that relationship (IE Long term/ marriage) and adding sex to the mix too early in a relation ship just muddies the waters. Sex: no matter how casual or non-meaning full you want to make it, is still an EXTREAMLY emotional affair. (Even on a sub-conscience level)


So why in the world would you want to make the decision process orders of magnitude harder by adding some thing as strong a sex? I mean by the third date you don’t even have a real good grip on the person’s personality, none the less a good grip on whether you two are compatible/good for each other.



I don’t know, maybe I’m just strange but I won’t have sex with some one before 8-10 dates. I just think sex is not the foundation of a successful relationship.


PS yes my rules for myself have caused “issues”, but I look at it this way—If we are good for one another there is PLENTY of time for that.


Adam
 winfieldbrian
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 157
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History
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:02:05 PM
I'd give anything to date a woman who expects sex from me by the third date.
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 158
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/13/2009 1:31:41 PM
Your fishing in the wrong pond cause women like me are out there. We want, love, embrace, and cherish sexual escapades almost to an extreme.
That does not make me a BAD person, insecure, looking for love in the wrong places, or what ever label someone want to put on it. I know what I want, like, turns me on, and desire from a sexual partner. I have met a special guy and lets see where it goes. I wouldn't have given him the time of day if he didn't bang me on our second date though. Put out or get out is my motto and will continue to be. Nothing like great sex!!!
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 159
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/13/2009 1:44:54 PM
Jeez!!! Where do people come up with these timelines? I don't think I could date someone who is so narrow minded and has such strict expectations.
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 160
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/13/2009 3:40:39 PM
That's good cause I really am an Artist...
I have nice soft brushes to fill in any blanks...
Edible paint is really fun!!!
Woo Hoo!!! Sexercise, sexercise. Come on everybody get your Sexercise!
Meow Meow...
I'll be good now... Promise...
 WasabiGal
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 161
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/13/2009 4:11:55 PM
I recounted to my bf that there is this crazy-ass thread about "sex by the 3rd date" rule on POF...and he nodded in agreement, saying, yeah, I had a 3rd date rule.

!!!!

WTF!!!!

Our 3rd date was a long weekend, during which I met his father, his sister, and lots of his friends. I wasn't aware that there was a timetable. His explanation, very matter of fact, similar to one of the poster's, was that if the chemistry was there (and it was) that he would see no reason for there not to be sex by the 3rd date. If there was no chemistry, we wouldn't still be dating. I still feel a little miffed, but he says that he would have waited for me.

harrumph

so I am guessing that most guys/gals with the timetable aren't telling the people they're dating about their 3rd date rules....
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 163
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/13/2009 6:20:19 PM
Yes it does. As far as dating i still like to get dressed up and go out. My bo and I went out for sushi our last date. We enjoy each others time, talking and cuddling. It's not just about the sex but it is a priority for me and I admit it. If that is wasting time for some men out here in internet land so be it. I'm at the place in life where I have the luxury of expressing myself sexually without the concerns of raising two daughters. They are married. I've lived my dreams, met my goals, and it's time for me. So I'm a horn kitty. I say OOPPSS while I bang a great lover...
 TiffLS
Joined: 10/28/2009
Msg: 168
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/14/2009 10:30:42 PM
Reading the responses in this thread, I'm starting to feel like I'm from another planet--while everyone is talking about whether or not sex should be REQUIRED by the third date, I'm wondering how it could even be within the realm of possibility. No magical timelines or artificial structures like some have objected to involved in that--I just don't think you know anything about a person after just a couple of dates, and you surely don't have any kind of intimate relationship/trust/closeness built up.
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 169
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/15/2009 10:45:25 AM
That's the whole point. You don't have any kind of relationship EXCEPT sexual and it goes from there. Some people in the world want to know if the MAYTAG works right before they put it in there laundry room!!!
Hopefully it's a little off balance and vibrates just right... Or the step stool is at a perfect height... OK OK... I'll get out of my own gutter again darn it it's too crowded anyway.
 TiffLS
Joined: 10/28/2009
Msg: 170
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/15/2009 1:23:34 PM

You don't have any kind of relationship EXCEPT sexual and it goes from there. Some people in the world want to know if the MAYTAG works right before they put it in there laundry room!!!


So then, if the "Maytag works" sexually, that's more important than things like character, whether or not a person is interesting to spend time with, etc? I definitely agree with the concept of needing to know the important stuff before "buying", but in my mind there are many things more important than sexual prowess. Any two adults (assuming good health) who are intimate and committed to one another can learn to adapt to one another sexually--you can't adapt (or at least I can't) to a person being a liar or lacking intellectual curiosity or being indifferent to the welfare of other humans.
 michele6259
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 171
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A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/15/2009 1:51:33 PM
If someone who I thought MIGHT be a compatible woman told me up front, or thru writing a post, that if first or second date sex with me had not occurred, that there wouldn't be a 3 rd date, I'd be VERY uncomfortable.

Welcome to the womens experience to online dating.
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 177
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/16/2009 3:30:53 PM
To everyone that understands me out here... THANK YOU!
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 181
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/16/2009 4:18:05 PM
That's your opinion and your entitled to it for sure. Both the men I loved and had long term relations with have passed. We met and had sex before falling in love. My boyfriend and I met and had sex and lets see if we fall in love. It's always worked for us. Different strokes. I will not stay in a relationship where the sex bites and with a man that can't give me what I want and need. It's a definite requirement.
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 187
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/23/2009 11:56:02 AM
Geez, M_Church~...are you going to have to start the education process all over again?

Gone~...what you're referencing is Style's understand that becoming a Master PUA is not the end all...it is about learning the ways to become a man.

And as far as collateral damage...I'm thinking none...as I'm still friends with a number of girls who I've slept with. Not all, obviously, as life takes different paths, but I've been told most of the time (>90%) and after the fact how much better off they were. Heck, I've had 2 ex-g/f's call me and ask if they can send their current b/f to me for dating lessons. I engendered trust, honesty, personal responsibility, openness, recognizing their own sexuality, etc., etc.. And from a karma experience, it's good and just getting better.

You seem to be someone who doesn't quite get it...but that's OK...a lot of guys have that problem...the one of being men for the women...and moreso, for themselves. Heck, even if I never get laid again, I've grown so much as a person I'd never give any of this stuff back.

AND NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING.

 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 188
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History
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/23/2009 11:58:47 AM
^^^^^^^^I dont think that MChurch is bragging, if anything he is telling it like it was for him and being extremely honest about it, pretty or not. What he says is a lot closer to reality than much of the pie in the sky, sunshine and lollypops crap out there. In fact I think that his previous behaviour was not all that out of the ordinary for quite a few men, he just breaks the code and admits it. Lets face it, most humans will only do something if there is something in it for themselves, regardless of the outcome for another party involved unless there is an established relationship....
 AllUneedAllUwant58
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 189
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/23/2009 11:59:06 AM
Sorry , if he is expecting sex with me by any kind of time frame before he has given me the respect of getting to know the person inside the body then forget it , I don't have any desire to see him again . I certainly am a passionate person but , I do want to get to know him and honor and respect the relationship . But ... that 's just me and as I say she is the one I have to live with and I kinda like the woman she is .
 kaiser1one
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 192
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/23/2009 2:04:54 PM
That'd be ludicrous. No go if no sex by the 3rd date??? Sounds like rushing, and I'm not into rushing relationships.
 Just one shark
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 193
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/23/2009 2:07:26 PM
While I personally, think putting a timetable on sex is wrong, I'm more the sooner than later type, meaning if a woman puts me off too long, I lose interest. Sex can bring a level of intimicy to a relationship, it will also help you find out real fast if there are some emotional, physical, or habit type deal breakers you just can't live with. Nothing like waking up with a person in the morning to see them at their finest, or worst. There is a fine line between between being a gentlemen, over aggressive or under aggressive. You don't make a move, your a wimp, to aggressive and seen as just wanting one thing. I have to agree with Gone to the Beach, that most woman who think they can spot the players, haven't a clue who the real players are.
 Just one shark
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 194
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/23/2009 2:15:46 PM
I want to clarify, the losing interest statement, as I think through it., I should say they get moved to the "friends" catagory sooner than later. In my book its pretty quickly all or nothing, ie. Do not start something, you have no intention of completeing., thats so highschoolish.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 195
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/23/2009 2:20:09 PM

My question to everyone, MEN AND WOMEN... how would you feel if a potential partner told you, ( or you read in a Forum ) that this person would not wait for sex with you on a 3 rd date ?


I have been told that often and my response has been please don't wait go ahead and date others because I am not the woman you are looking for.

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 197
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/23/2009 3:30:46 PM

Dictating a time table for performing sexually might be okay for some other people, but not me. To me, those are the other person's control issues, and I don't associate with controlling people any more than I have to.


Not only is this a control issue but people that fast into a relationship are usually just as fast on the way out..

thecatsmeoww
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 198
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A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/23/2009 3:48:45 PM
I met my last girlfriend online and it was a long-distance relationship. The day after we decided to call ourselves a "couple," she bought a plane ticket to come visit for a long weekend. Inevitably, the topic of sleeping arrangements came up while we were talking.

I did say that, yeah, unless the initial meet turned out to be a pretty major disappointment, I was very likely going to want to have sex with her at some point during the weekend. Her position on the matter was that she doesn't mind at all having sex, but she doesn't like feeling like it's a requirement.

I can certainly understand that mentality. If I want to make love to someone, I want it to be because it's something I want to do. And I want her to get as much out of it as I do. So, basically, if someone put forth sex in terms of an ultimatum, it would really turn me off. A much better approach would be to invite me in after the second date. If I have any desire for a third date, I'm likely to accept the invitation.
 Just one shark
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 200
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/23/2009 3:57:47 PM
I guess "Date" needs to be defined are you talking about a quick dinner? a movie? or spending a whole day doing something together? Thats a date. If your not feeling after spending two or three whole days together... your probably in the friends catagory.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 202
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/24/2009 3:37:59 AM

Yes, I would PREFER to know if a woman who interests me is stable, healthy, consistant, honest, affectionate, thoughtful, controlling, sharing, and yes, sexual. But that preference doesn't always allow itself to reveal itself. BEFORE the first date, or the 30th day of the relationship.


Just my opinion here a man that is slow into a relationship usually is giving it a whole lot of thought.. Likewise for women that want to know a whole lot about you before they engage..

A man that gives me a 3 date rule I already know he is not for me and chances are he has had many many sexual partners and I would not wish to involve myself with him.

thecatsmeoww
 nuskoolstisle
Joined: 10/22/2009
Msg: 207
A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/24/2009 10:05:21 AM
3rd date? all the women ive met here want it within 2-3 hours of meeting me. i wish for a woman who want to wait! like me 4 me, not my skills. i need someone for relationship, not someone who just wants sex....
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