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Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 13
what do i doPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
was there every other week end and ever time she had a thing at school or game guess i could not explain the hole picture but boy are we so good at going to the negative and putting a guy in the dead bet dad category this was wrong of me to do i can not put down all of life history
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 14
what do i do
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:08:42 PM
If she has no insurance then you should keep that till she gets her own but the cell is not something that is a priority so thats up to you. But me personally I would talk with her and let her know whats going to happen and if she does not live there s4/7 then I would take the key and or change the locks. But whatever you do good luck in your choices on what to do.
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 15
what do i do
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:42:19 PM

call the police.. a tad harsh..but some kids don't learn the easy way :)

I agree. And if she has so little respect for you that she'll steal the money then make her pay for her own insurance and cell phone. I don't see what the ex has to do with this.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 16
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what do i do
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:01:38 AM
OP, like any other parent, you can either continue to help your children when they turn 18 or believe that your job is done. You seem like you wish to be vindictive toward your ex in some way with this, I don't think you are concerned with your daughter at all or you would not dream of taking her off your insurance so that if she became ill she might not seek treatment because she could not afford it.

Don't pay for her cell phone if you don't want to. Pretty simple, either continue taking care of your daughter or stop, your ex has nothing to do with it. And realistically, is there logic in believing that your ex will be able to afford the insurance when she is no longer getting child support but likely still supporting your daughter whether she lives there full time or not?

As for your daughter, you seem to imply that the theft is somehow connected to her mother. You need to have a conversation with your daughter about stealing and as Margo said, why she felt the need to swipe change like a 12-year-old instead of asking you for money if she needed it. Something to consider is whether she thought she could ask you for money considering your attitude toward paying to support her.

Your son has a child, so I assume that he is able to leave the house with said child and see you if he wishes. You should find out why he doesn't want you spending time with his child instead of blaming that on your ex.
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 17
what do i do
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:19:45 PM
I have taught college courses for over 20 years, and it never ceases to amaze me how strangely callous 18-22 year-old women can sometimes be about being Daddy's Little Girl. They even giggle as they refer to Dear Old Dad as their "personal favorite ATM."

If I ask them about this, they usually look pretty embarrassed, and stammer something about how it's just because Daddy loves them and gives them everything they want.

(My own issues might be showing, OP--my father split when I was less than a year old, didn't stay and help raise me as you did with your daughter; and the stepfather my mother replaced him with was a mean SOB who hated kids).

I try to be generous of thought: these young women are like my spoiled cats. Very little meowing in the house, because they are so busy purring with contentment. And I suppose their fathers are proud to have sheltered and pampered their kids so well.

Still: you should talk with her--Man to Adult Daughter (not 'little girl'), and ask what she thinks is the fair thing to do about the missing dinero. I have found that most undergraduates are pretty good at assessing their own culpability and taking their lumps when caught.
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 18
what do i do
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:25:53 PM
Call your daughter on it. Let her know you caught her - if that's the worst she's done, be thankful. Don't let it ruin your relationship with her. If you've managed to have a good relationship with your child during a bad break up with an ex - you're halfway there. Don't walk away - it will be a brutal loss for both of you. Tell your daughter it's time to get a job though and start getting her own spending money.

As for your son, hopefully time will heal that. Good luck!
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