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 AUTHOR
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 16
Mouth Shut or Tattle?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
The one that always falls the hardest on these deals is the one that is....or thinks he is doing the right and moral thing.

It's none of your business.

Mouth shut.

The only time I'd get involved is if April was my daughter or maybe sister.

Then...there might be more than beans spilled.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 19
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/20/2009 9:25:32 PM
Ok, you are a business associate. If you rat him out, will it cost you business? This man has no morals, or ethics, so I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, he has shown you his true character. I'd be wary.

But although it may not 'be any of your business', when you see something happening that is wrong, you have a moral obligation to stand up and do the right thing. This is called character. If more people did this, the world would be a much better place...women and men might think much longer and harde before cheating on their SO.

I think you probably see April as a good and decent woman. I don't necessarily think you have a thing for her, I think you just know that she wouldn't do such a thing to him, and wouldn't appreciate him cheating on her.

You know what you have to do. You didn't have to come on here to have me or anyone else tell you. Go and have your talk with April. Good luck.

Beth
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 25
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:30:17 AM
If April's a real friend, absolutely tell her. What he's doing is completely wrong. I'd give him a chance to do the right thing, and then if he didn't, I'd tell her.

This kind of reminded me of a conversation I had with one of my female friends who was asking if the guy who was dating her best friend was cheating on her. My response was, "I don't know, but if I did, I'd tell you everything."
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 26
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:58:26 AM
Who's married?

Where are the kids?

What personal stake do you have in this?

I say keep this to yourself and let the three consenting adults work out their own issues.
 *november babee*
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 27
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:35:30 AM
I'm curious ladies...
If you were "April" would you want to know if your..ahem..man wasn't into you? Or would it be better if the other guy just said nothing?


yes i probably would want to know, but i would sooner hear it from the horses mouth than one of his friends, whom i hardly knew, telling me a 2nd hand version of what was going on..

IMO..
you have no right to spill the beans but you do need to tell your friend you wont cover up, if asked, you will tell the truth..
that if he is going to be sleeping with them both they both have a right to know..
maybe the bartender is looking for something casual who knows, but if hes been having an ongoing thing with April she deserves to know if its no longer just the 2 of them....
 *november babee*
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 30
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:36:55 AM

If your buddy is stealing money from a children's hospital, are you going to keep silent because tattling is wrong? And it's none of your business?


thats a completely different thing though, stealing is illegal...
cheating isnt illegal just immoral...
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 32
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:27:04 AM
hmmm

OP:

I agree with the majority of the posters that you should not go to April with tales. Personally, I'd tell the business associate/friend he's being an a$$ and would limit association with him. He's exhibiting the behavior that fuels the "men are jerks" stereotype. 68% - sheesh! I'm 100% certain where I'd tell him to put that gem!

If April is comfortable with you, and she has doubts about her "boyfriend", you will get an opportunity to warn her about this guy, but she probably won't give any hero awards for enlightening her.
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 33
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 5:31:12 AM
I see a lot of posters concerned about April...but what about the bartender? Does SHE know about April? How much will SHE be hurt?

This guy is an a$$...if you're business associates, keep it that way...this isn't someone you should cultivate as a friend.
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 34
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:00:36 AM
^^^^^ The bartender probably does not know about April. OP: Mouth shut & MYOB.
 MBark68
Joined: 7/7/2009
Msg: 35
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:35:35 AM
If he asked my opinion, I would tell him to be up front with April. Otherwise I would stay out of it.

Do you have a thing for April?
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 38
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:41:53 AM
Let's remember the scenario.


A business associated ...They have made no commitments...I suspect it's a FWB...I don't really know her well


Where in here do we see that it is any of his business? How do we know she wouldn't even tell him to butt out?

If she was a friend....he should tell her.

If he was a friend...that's his choice.

If they are both friends of his...tough call.

In this particular case......


This does not sit right with me


Too bad.

Married couples have "agreements" that I don't agree with. But that's none of my business either.

I would question, more...the person that would consider getting this emotionally involved with two people he is not even friends with.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 42
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:58:59 PM
The OP really doesn't know jack about these relationships.

So...for those of you suggesting tattling. You are in a store...walk around the corner by the ladies cosmetics...see a lady applying lipstick. She puts the lipstick in her purse.

Are you going to confront her or run to the store manager. You have no evidence that it wasn't hers to begin with.

No have no facts that suggest she has done anything.

Either does the OP. In his own words...it could be a FWB...he's pretty sure it is not a committed/exclusive relationship.

To compare this to racial jokes...something that is clearly objectionable...is ridiculous.

We are not hypocrites because we have a problem with cheaters and liars and thieves but wouldn't touch this one with a ten foot pole. Equally redicuous.

The only thing Opie knows is that his associate and April are having sex. If and until they agree to a committed exclusive relationship...it is NOT cheating.

Live your lives as such if you wish...but my efforts remain concentrated on those that I actually have relationships with...actual friends and family.

whenwillthiswork....were you in a non-committed, probable fwb relationship...or was there an exclusive understanding? If the answer is no...it is not the same...I feel for you and had I been a friend of yours...you would have known. If that was the case...you are not built for a fwb relationship.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 43
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:00:38 PM
I would shut up it is none of my business even he scr*w s a bunch of scarecrow in skirts..

Unless you have a hotts for April , then tell her and take the results like a man.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 44
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:06:20 PM
You and your mate are more than "just business associates." He's spilling the details to you of his sexual exploits. Business associates don't do that.

And while I tend to agree with keeping your mouth shut (although I am a little worried about everyone's health - who knows jut how much traffic the pen and inks have been seeing) you might want to back off a bit from the relationship you've got with this business associate if he's put you into this situation. It is amazing how one person's actions can affect others.

TK
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 45
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:13:31 PM
rock n roll, i say "mouth shut" personally tend to go by a code and telling on another man to mess up his game is weak, if it's not killing tons of people, or effecting you in any way stay out of it. Telling U.S secrets to enemies "tell", a man wanting multiple women "don't" tell.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 46
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:13:23 PM
Zip it then skip it.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 48
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:22:49 PM
OP- I can understand your desire to tell April. The problem is the information you have is second hand, came from the guilty party and in all liklihood will be denied anyway. You don't want to go down that road.

By all means express your disapproval directly to the business associate. He is obviously bragging to you about it anyway, so the best thing you can do is tell him what you really think of his actions.

BTW- What about the bartender. I doubt the guy told her anything about April. She's a victim too.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 49
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:35:36 PM

Seriously,the complete lack of moral courage shown on this thread certainly explains why we all live in such a fuc%#@ up society.
"Ohh ! I wouldn't want to get involved. Not my business."If this is how how wimpy everyone is about day to day lying and cheating ,no wonder we can't collective act together on the really important moral issues of our time ! Pathetic!!


There is some truth about this rhetorical saying Ala western film>> "Don't shoot the messenger."!!! I work in a big company and married wo/men having an affair is too common, we keep our eyes and mouth shut for the fear of our job, we are there to work and not moral policing any one, who shyte where they eat. The result for them is they got fired , Few got divorce and married, then divorce etc..... Besides being stoolie of people 's f*cking affair is not heroic,you don't get reward or trophy but , you are a hateful big mouth busybody...I am sorry about your best friend and your girlfriend,but no one has obligation and responsibility to report them to you.. It is you and only you who is responsible to be aware of yourself, your girlfriend ,and your best friend...
If a person is pious on morality,they have to start on themself and not to look on the moral decayed on others.
 broccolina
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 50
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:25:08 PM
Rockin Rolls: Did anyone already ask the question if you have any romantic interest in April? At least, from your history I can tell that you haven't answered any questions that may have come up... (I can't read 3 pages of MYOB - was this supposed to be a voting poll?)

If you hate the fact that an innocent person might be hurt, which I understand, see if you can send her an anonymous message... She needs to make an informed decision and protect herself against heartache and STDs.
 Kimberish925
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 52
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:57:01 PM
No tattling...do not say anything to April. I see this creating a huge wedge between you and your business associate if you do.

I would however, express your opinion to your business associate. It's a moral issue and he is being an azz considering sleeping with both of them. He is simply looking for the next best thing. Seemes to be the way things are in today's dating world.
If April is smart, she will catch on anyway, that's how we work.
 NYCman530
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 54
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:14:33 PM
To be honest, it's really not your place to tell her anything, They have been together 4 months with no commitments. They are adults. Leave it alone. It's not as though he and April were married.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 58
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:31:25 PM
He's a business associate, he's sharing his dirty little secrets with you. You're listening, first off I'd tell him to keep your convos strictly business or go see a priest.

This has nothing to do with you, you let him bend your ear. You can choose not to allow him to do that anymore it obviously makes you uncomfortable.

You're not his moral compass, if you do involve yourself in this by taking any type of action other than telling your business associate to keep his private life private, then it'll be you who regrets it.

Unless you'd like to be a guest on Springer (it's probably too tame for that show) you aren't involved if you tell then you will be and it won't be pretty for anyone.

It'll catch up to him, whatever business you're doing with this guy, finalize it ASAP because when the karma hits the fan he may disappear off the face of the earth.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 61
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:23:41 AM
Do not get involved, and if it bothers you that much tell him not to share any of his personal dealings with you.
 pdlop
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 66
Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 11/15/2009 10:31:32 PM
the guys a troll poster everythings made up . check his history
 ninjaeleven
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 67
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Mouth Shut or Tattle?
Posted: 11/15/2009 10:38:42 PM
drop her a not anonymously.
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