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 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 89
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Ahh, the OP has returned to the fray.

OP, when you eaves-dropped on your employees, did you let them know you were there?

Did you specifically tell the man in question what you heard and that it was innappropriate and you would be making a note of it and file it with HR?

Did you specifically inform HR about what you overheard and who it involved, including the lady who was talked about?

Would love to know the answers to these questions.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 91
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 3:09:42 PM

It's been handled. Thanks for your concern.

Hang on a minute, you opened the door when you started this thread, I and others on this thread would like to know specifically how you 'handled' it.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 92
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 3:42:18 PM

If he were a black guy and saying the same thing about the blondie in the office I'm sure action would've been taken immediately.

How do you know this?


Us black women hear everything and are good for making allies in hostile situations. We have been trained to keep our ears/eyes open while remaining seemingly aloof.

Meaning what?
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 93
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 5:17:18 PM

Hey assydneymale - I was very direct and to the point. You should be having no issues understanding. Now you just sit back and wait for OP to post as you were originally. Is that not what you were doing earlier?

You made a bunch of statements without backing them up with empirical evidence.

The OP is yet to explain what action he actually took to resolve the matter after starting a thread inviting opinion.
 multispindle
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 94
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History
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 5:46:31 PM
What if she said the same thing about him?
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 95
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:20:03 PM

You are not a female and you are not black therefore you can't simply understand what I'm talking about.

So that shuts down all discussion as far as you're concerned?

Some might call that statement both racist and sexist.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 96
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:35:40 PM
Soooo inappropriate on many levels. It's a law suit waiting to happen.

You ought to bring him into your office and tell him you overheard what he said. Read him the riot act, and write his azz up.

Someone of this caliber is definitely a liability to the organization. No one is irreplaceable.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 97
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:42:34 PM

Don't get upset. It's just a fact unless you have had a skin bleaching and a sex change that is what it is.

Don't confuse your assumptions about what other people 'think' with facts.


I just feel that we do not get taken seriously and it happens quite a bit in the workplace. It's very stressful to be at work and have people around you who have to 'think' about whether or not 'you' are worthy of respect from your co workers.

That's an assumption on your part, you may be taken quite seriously in the workplace, you might be judging your workmates harshly.


It's about you realizing that you just don't and can't know everything.

I don't claim anything of the sort.


If you have some stories of your own about on the politics of 'being' a black female in the workplace got for it. I'm sure I will be amused.

I don't have to be black or female or American to seek to understand the reality of it any more than you have to be male and white and Australian to understand my reality.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 98
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:02:13 PM
imforever: Please quote my remarks as I wrote them, including the entire part that you left out. The point was that if someone else other than the boss had overheard, there'd be no question that the guy should be written up.

This is what I said:

<div class="quote">If another woman was there and overheard the guy's remarks, and she was offended and made a fuss, it does not matter (a) whether or not she was overreacting, (b) whether or not the comments referred to her or to the other woman, (c) whether or not the employee knew that he shouldn't make those comments in a work-related setting; by law, she could report the guy.

There's a whole section of (a), (b) and (c) after the "it does not matter" which goes along with the "it does not matter". If your reading comprehension is not up to par, at least don't mislead others by misquoting me.
 3Therm0pylae0
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 100
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:00:56 PM
Dude, unless you have to fire him to grandstand in defense against a suit, let it go after telling him the next time will cost him his job.

Who cares about this situation unless it pops back up or requires you to front some cash to a lawyer? Don't be so strung up on ideals other people cram down our throats. He and she are both adults and if they want to screw for whatever reason, it's THEIR business.
 trotko
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 101
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:47:18 PM

Please quote my remarks as I wrote them, including the entire part that you left out.


the rest of the quote didn't matter as it all relied on that if which was the whole point. Since that if just didn't happen it was all just blended words that didn't mean a thing.


The point was that if someone else other than the boss had overheard, there'd be no question that the guy should be written up.


That is incorect. Someone else could mean anybody else and well unless it was someone who took offense to what was said no complaint would be made and therefore nothing could be done about it.


There's a whole section of (a), (b) and (c) after the "it does not matter" which goes along with the "it does not matter". If your reading comprehension is not up to par, at least don't mislead others by misquoting me.


Lets not get hasty sections a,b, and c didn't apply because that if was just that an if. I didn't mislead anyone you did with that if statement.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 102
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 10:43:50 PM

I noticed in a proir post in responce to me, that you would have discriminated against me based on age and your guess that I might not be healthy.

Ha! I noticed that as well. Agism is rife in the current employment environment, nobody respects experience and certainly many people are fearful of people who speak their mind.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 105
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/27/2009 11:16:14 AM

I am very clear in what I wrote and am clueless as to why 2 people want to challenge me on a subject they don't have experience in. By that I mean not being on the outside looking in.

Your arrogance is breathtaking.

Racial discrimination is not an exclusively black American thing. There are many forms of discrimination that ANYBODY can suffer.

I lived in Indonesia recently. I was discriminated against daily because I was not Indonesian, because I was white, because I was not Muslim. Assumptions were made about me all the time because of my race. Even back home I experience discrimination, I assume Dallas is yet to reach her '40's, try looking for work as a 40-year-old in a youth-orientated workforce, no matter how experienced and capable you are.

The only reason the argument is circular is because of your arrogance Dallas. Try opening your mind up to other peoples' points of view.
 krisninatlanta
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 107
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:25:45 PM
get ready to pay loads of money out when she reports to the EEOC that you kept a man employed that was sexually harassing her.Better replacing him than paying her out. Ah how we rather save money than dignity and common respect.
 SAguy_06
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 109
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A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:50:27 AM
That Azzwhole may act that way because to many people have given him a pass...

I would talk to my female employee and tell her it's better if she resigned her position, cuz shes causing strife amounst the team...So since, I the owner, have no balls, she may want to work somewhere else...
 yna6
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 110
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:36:21 PM
techies are a dime a dozen. Say bye-bye to him and tell him why.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 111
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:17:44 PM

Indiana is an at-will employment state so you can fire any one at any time for almost any reason. I wouldn't mention the sexual harrasment that could lead to a law suit. Instead, once you find a replacement for him, just wait till he show's up to work one morning and say "I don't like your shoes. You're fired".
Simple as that.

Unbelievable. The bloke might have been crass and stupid for saying what he did (in what he thought was a private situation after work hours), but to fire him over it with no warning?

'At-will employment state'? The whole workforce has the 'sword of Damacles' hanging over it's head, so good luck in expecting loyalty and performance from them if they know they can be sacked at a whim.

Many posters with actual experience in HR on this thread have suggested a warning and a reminder of company diversity policy, which is a reasonable response.

What is not reasonable is to sack this bloke arbitrarily because, by the OP's own admission, what he said did not fit with HIS OWN moral compass.


I wouldn't mention the sexual harrasment that could lead to a law suit.

He's fired and he doesn't have the first clue why. You'd make a great boss, really inspire your people to reach their potential for sure whilst they're busy 'walking on eggshells' around you because of your vicious management-style.
 Ipostonforums
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 112
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:26:32 PM
I'd start to hit on him, and when he wonders why you've gone gay for him you can tell him because you just wanted to know what it'd be like to have gay sex.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 114
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:25:25 PM
Why didn't you fire him? That's sexual harassment, shouldn't be tolerated, no mater how good of a techy he is.

Alot of people out there looking for work, maybe you'll even find a better one than this guy.
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 115
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A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:21:38 AM
This guy is a knob and a wannabe player, but it's probably all locker room talk and yes both men and women do it. The OP should have made noise at the time to indicate he was there and simply said that this type of talk is not to be used on company property and he wanted no dating drama in the office, because it was bad for business and the potential harressment issues, the problem would have be solved quickly. If he noticed him bothering the female employee then he could take more drastic measures. Many offices now are opting for a no dating policy to avoid these type of situations.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 116
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:17:21 AM

I just don't get it when people try to make a point that they honestly have no experience on/with 'personaly'.

So, by your logic Oprah Winfrey has no business having an opinion on parenthood and marriage, both of which she has not experienced 'personally' and both of which she regularly bangs on about?


You are correct the shmucks are not worth my time.

You resort to name-calling when you have no argument.
 WesternWildRose
Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 120
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A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:59:53 AM
Sorry Darlin'.....but...but...buttttttttttt.... that is a bit of a cop-out... I mean... in my world...no one is that indispensable....well unless they are flying the Space Shuttle perhaps and everyone else is sick or something.

Don't know your field...but...really now... I think it would send a good message to people...that some behaviour is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.

I am sure HE....others now realize that they can get away with a lot of things at the work site as they are 'vital' to the operation....and they see that you tolerate things and look the other way.

I thank you for sharing this story....this dilhema with us.
I see where your heart is in this.....I really do... you have a business to run and the other isssues will have to take 2nd or 3rd place in importance.

I too have let things pass..... ignored bad behaviour....even offensive behaviour ...as a grunt I have little say at times.
I have as a supervisor, manager called people on their comments and behaviour and have had to reprimand people.

It's a tough call.
 mungojoe
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 121
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:09:37 PM

And ? Who are you ? moral police ?
Unless she complains for sexual harassment ~ or they do something going against company policy. It's none of your business.
You can't control people's comments, ideas, thoughts ~ it's a free country. You were not even invited to that conversation.

I say shut the f up... and mind your own business

Hmmm... the person in question is HIS employee... in other words, the OP isn't just the boss, he's the owner...

The business owner should just "shut the f up"?!? About an employee who could "sink" his business?!?

Methinks SOMEONE got himself fired on a sexual harrassment complaint for being an ignorant, sexist douche-bag... Sure does look that way...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 122
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/29/2009 4:20:46 PM
(Ipostonforums) I'd start to hit on him, and when he wonders why you've gone gay for him you can tell him because you just wanted to know what it'd be like to have gay sex.


I actually had a gay guy hit on me at work once: put his hands on my hips and let them linger there. In my defence, I DO have a cute azz, though... I even had a witness!

But seriously, sexual harrassment is no joking matter. On the THIRD hand, though, I don't think that what this guy did came anywhere close to sexual harrassment. Poor judgement, sure. But sexual harrassment? C'mon...

(puts hand to m0uth and blows a raspberry)

Bimbly
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 123
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/29/2009 4:23:16 PM

(barbee1970) Why didn't you fire him?


Because that'd be a really stupid, disproportional response?


That's sexual harassment...


Oh, is not.

Bimbly
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