Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 118
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
because to be totally ready to give to a new relationship you need to be over the hurt of the ending of your last one. you dont want to go on a date...and start thinking of how much you miss your ex. that isnt fair.
that has happened to me. i didnt know it would happen, but it did.
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 119
view profile
History
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 8/3/2011 10:56:20 AM
Well there have been times in my life where I wasn't ready for a relationship, too many things going on with work or in my personal life that required alot of time and effort on my part, so it wasn't really fair to get involved with someone who wouldn't be a priority. Thou I do understand how some people could use it as an excuse not to be upfront with someone that they really aren't interested and want to let them down easy.
 singleuseful
Joined: 5/23/2011
Msg: 120
view profile
History
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 8/3/2011 11:02:20 AM
it means >>single because I wanna be ,useful if I have to be ,runs outa thread ,smirk
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 121
view profile
History
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 8/3/2011 11:08:24 AM
norcal53
It means that their head is not in the right place.



When I was going through a divorce I knew I wasn't ready to start another relationship. I never had to say those words, I just didn't date for awhile.


I've had those words said to me by a man going through a divorce after his wife cheated on him. He still had the same friends as her and even though she had a boyfriend, he wasn't over her. When we began dating he told me to "keep my options open" as he wasn't ready for anything serious. He used the above statement that he had to get things straightened out in his head first. He said at the moment he was only interested in me and he was acting smitten with me. I felt like the rebound girl but continued to see him foolishly thinking maybe we were starting something together. Eventually he said he was "not ready for a relationship" as he still had deep feelings for his ex and NONE for me. To me having sex and spending time together was a relationship so he said we could take things more slowly and not go out as often. He claimed sex didn't have to be a part of it. This was sent to me in a message and I never went out with him again.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 122
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 8/3/2011 4:33:06 PM

Well there have been times in my life where I wasn't ready for a relationship, too many things going on with work or in my personal life that required alot of time and effort on my part, so it wasn't really fair to get involved with someone who wouldn't be a priority.

Exactly. It IS entirely possible and quite common to meet someone, be totally into them, and yet still not be in a place where a relationship is going to work because you're working a lot, in school, have a family member who's ill, you are still not entirely over a past relationship, etc.

To say that if you're not ready for a relationship you absolutely MUST be uninterested is BS. Sure, some use it as an excuse/a letdown - but that doesn't mean that ALL people who say this are doing so.
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 123
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 8/3/2011 8:36:54 PM

You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?


It means you have visible battle scars. Only there's no surgery that can remove them, because they're on your soul.
 forced2b
Joined: 7/14/2011
Msg: 124
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 8/4/2011 12:43:10 PM
Men tell women what they want. You meet, hit it off and may even have sex. Then, you here the "I am not ready for a relationship". Then I hear alot that women think men don't know what they want. The truth of the matter is, if a man says what he wants, and then he spends time with you and then tells you he is not ready for a relationship, it simply means he knows what he wants, he just doesn't want to have it with you and telling you is not ready is just a nice way in his mind to let you down easy.

Just a thought.
 FlameNFire
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 125
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 8/4/2011 2:25:55 PM
I have said that many times and it typically had nothing to do with the person I told it to. Often times it was clear to me that they were looking for something more serious and involved than I was, so no, I wasn't ready for that. I have a very busy schedule, family commitments that are a priority, and often times had unfinished business with someone else in my life. When someone says they are not ready for a relationship, believe them.
 Charity5555
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 126
view profile
History
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 8/4/2011 10:52:44 PM
So, what you are saying is that one should not have any social life at all, unless they are willing and ready to commit to a relationship. What if a person really doesn't want a realtionship, they just want to have the occaisional time, where they can go out and not be alone. Have someone to share a few laughs with and some fun times. What then, should they be doomed to a life of solitude?
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 127
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 8/7/2011 6:55:48 AM
this is the same talk your parents had to you about getting a puppy when you were a kid. How well did that go for you?
expect similar results..... hell now that we are all grown up, go get a puppy.
 cusechick26
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 128
view profile
History
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 3/8/2012 9:40:58 PM
For me I need to handle issues that I have and get over my past so I can enjoy the present. I need to understand why Im a sabatager and how to stop being my own worst enemy in relationships. Learning to break cycles so that you arent part of the cycle and can be a keeper
 AngelofHonesty
Joined: 1/4/2012
Msg: 129
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 3/9/2012 11:00:50 AM
Not ready means hell not ready. It's like when you don't study for an exam and a suprise test is sprung..."you aren't ready", it's like if you have a rac and haven't trained for it, "you aren't ready", it's like if you have a baby as a teenager, "you aren't ready", it's like if a guy picks a girl up early for a date, she isn't ready", need I say more!!!!
 alextheparrot
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 130
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 3/9/2012 12:41:51 PM
I currently enjoy being single and dislike commitments. I'm very busy and wouldn't have time to attend or feel responsible for another person. My exes were very unhappy with how "neglectful" and detached I am and it's very unfair to them. So I figured that singledom is the way to go - when I'm ready for all the above, I'll know.
 blueceleste
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 131
view profile
History
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 3/9/2012 9:40:15 PM
when i was 18, i got in contact with a guy online i knew from hs he was 21 at the time. we wanted to date hence i had a slight crush on him in high school but told him that once we hooked up after hs. i made the mistake in saying i was in love with him and he is so ****ed up with his feelings on women and trust issues that he still cant land a girl to this day and he is now 28.

he told his friends we were dating im like since when? then he said he wasnt sure if he could "trust me," because of what other girls have done to him. he was a hot head and very rude trust me i told him what i thought of him all the time. all we did was argue well not a lot but sometimes. he left me stressed out all the time he said he wasnt ready for a relationship wtf??? i said but u told everybody i was ur gf! i told him im not waiting and moved on, went back to doing my own thing and he got very jealous. he felt i should be loyal to him i said if i was dating you of course!

we had a bad fall out and stopped talking to him for 3 years. he contacted me on facebook i said too late im in a relationship now he was still single go figure! he still whines about why he cant get a gf he comes off as creepy and weird to women. he still says today i am not ready for a relationship but i want a gf really badly. i told him the truth about his behavior saying you need therapy if u expect to get anywhere in a relationship he kinda agreed and felt he didn't need therapy. i said in marriage, it will get worse and if u decide to be a dad omg good luck i would feel sorry for ur kids....
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 132
view profile
History
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 3/9/2012 11:28:03 PM
It doesn't necessarily mean not ready for a realationship, quite often it means, I'm not ready for relationshit, so unless you are super cool, I don't want to be with you. (Being "super cool" I don't wouldn't take this personally, he shouldn't take it personally either). We understand totally what is being said, what we are afraid of happening, what brought us to this point in our lives and how we want to go about things. Then we continue with eyes wide open and our hearts on our sleeves, (even though I'm scared shitless in spite of all my "coolness"). lol.

If he doesn't want to be with me, he'll just have to say so, I'll do the same. "Not ready for a relationship" isn't going to cut it.

Not to sound cliche but relationship shouldn't even be a destination, it's a journey.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 133
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 3/10/2012 1:38:03 AM
for some it means they dont want any responsibility, they just want sex.

For others it may mean that emotionally, physically, or financially they are not ready to take on the responsibility of a relationship and that is respectable.
 cautiousluv
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 134
view profile
History
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 3/10/2012 1:46:38 AM

I need to understand why Im a sabatager and how to stop being my own worst enemy in relationships.


I can completely relate to this. I do the same thing and have no idea why. I don't think it has anything to do with my past though....there is no history of abuse...had a good family life....so I really have no idea. Maybe I'm scared of getting hurt? Maybe I think I don't deserve a relationship for whatever reason? But I definitely seem to subconsciously f*ck up (sabotage) any potential new relationships.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?