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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is there a stigma associated w recent widowers?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 tiff7777
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 25
Is there a stigma associated w recent widowers?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Loss is loss, no matter what. I lost a brother two months ago. Thanksgiving was hard. I expect Christmas to be brutal. The men, I have met, I have shared this with, just to let them know that normally, I'm a more fun-loving, happy, upbeat person. This way they get to decide on a second date or whatever. Most are understanding, as most people have issues of some kind. I think my forever guy is on the other side of the grief/loss bridge. Maybe two years from now. Right now, I cry every day, no matter how hard I try to suppress it. I have figured out that it is healthier to move thru the pain. Acting out - drinking or whatever, does nothing to lessen the pain, just numbs it for a little while. Putting one foot in front of another, being kind to myself, extra sleep, working out, eating well(watching the junk food), helps me tremendously. Reaching out to friends when a day is especially hard, all of this helps. Am I ready to be that fabulous woman for a guy, - No, I realize that and they do, too. I have gone on a few dates with guys willing to just be friends or take things slowly, like a snail. Just my two cents.
 ItalianAnglo
Joined: 9/22/2012
Msg: 26
Is there a stigma associated w recent widowers?
Posted: 12/14/2012 5:13:40 PM
I would be concerned I would not measure up! How can anyone fill a void so big?
 Mikare
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 27
Is there a stigma associated w recent widowers?
Posted: 2/15/2013 1:46:56 PM
I dated a widower, he was quote young with little ones to raise. I can honestly say I really loved him. She had been dead quite sometime, and he had returned to the are they once lived. I was the 1st woman he dated. He was very good to me, but he often needed to alone. I know he missed her terribly in a weird way so did I ...I am grateful to have been able to love him enough to be supportive of his grief process. I still here from him from time to time....
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 28
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Is there a stigma associated w recent widowers?
Posted: 2/15/2013 3:38:18 PM
Not a major issue if kept in its place. Keep reference to it out of a profile except for marital status.

I'm not in the market but recall a couple of otherwise attractive women having the word 'widow' in their POF name. Also leave out the 'now ready to date' statement. It implies almost the reverse.

You are here to find your new partner...not heal, etc.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 29
Is there a stigma associated w recent widowers?
Posted: 2/16/2013 5:44:38 AM
Widowers stigma? Hell, with the petty crap that is out there, I am sure there is a stigma if you have a hangnail.
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 30
Is there a stigma associated w recent widowers?
Posted: 2/10/2014 4:45:25 PM
Message:
Oh brother...now I'm supposed to change my status to single, so I don't put people off by being a widow?


^^^^^
Pope…..don't let the negative folks bum u out here …..

And yes, for those if your just freshly broken up, separated, divorced,widow,widower, etc that would be a 'red flag" till the dust has settled….. before looking to stop the bleeding with a another .

As the only stigma is those who don't rush back in before the healing etc is first done…..

Popengena u will do fine……as a very good… and better….and even a…. best catch……


I just get the feeling it won't be through this site.


Yes the grieving is……..etc,etc is over…..

I just got that feeling too….. as u are one of the 'good ones'….and much success in your next chapters of life…….good luck
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 31
Is there a stigma associated w recent widowers?
Posted: 2/10/2014 6:58:03 PM
I grew up in a neighborhood with a lot of Italian immigrant families, and one thing that really stood out to me at the time is I saw quite a few old women who were dressed totally in black. I later found out that they are widows and the tradition was to dress totally in black to let people know they are widows-like some kind of widow uniform. I never understood the reasoning behind this. Even the Italian kids I hung around with at the time didn't understand the reasoning behind it, other than it was tradition. Even now, I will occasionally see an old woman who is dressed totally in black and know she is showing her widowhood. But if an Italian guy dressed totally in black, it would look like he was auditioning for a job in the Mafia.
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