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 arturo_bandini
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 9
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Will my new girlfriend (whenever that will be) accept me for breaking up from the familly?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Yummm. Stew.






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 Dudleyh45
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 10
Will my new girlfriend (whenever that will be) accept me for breaking up from the familly?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:48:44 PM
No she won't. Somewhere in the dark recesses of her mind will always be the thought that if you couldn't get along with family how could you get along with her. She will be subconciously watching for signs and wondering if you can cut off from blood relatives how easy it would be for you to cut off from her. She'll say it doesn't bother her and that she understands the reasons,but she won't truly accept nor believe. You're doomed to plodding through life alone and bitter. But hey it can't be all that bad.
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 16
Will my new girlfriend (whenever that will be) accept me for breaking up from the familly?
Posted: 11/14/2009 10:58:02 AM
Silent Guiardian, read the book "Toxic People" it will really provide more understanding to your dilema, it was written by a professional, and illustrates ways to better deal with difficult people in your life.

We all have different levels of what/how we allow others to treat us. We grow up being told that we pick our friends and deal with our families, and unfortunately this is true. However the home grown insturctuions end there, and many people who we are related to abuse the priviledge and responsibility they have to other members of their family. It is not appropriate for anyone in any family, to use emotional ties to abuse or blackmail another family member.

There are times when standing up to them works and other times when it will not. Most family members who emotionally abuse or blackmail others in their family are nothing more than selfish, self serving, bullies. The book shows different ways to deal effectively with different types of toxic people, and sometimes the only way to rescue yourself is to have nothing to do with them.

I know this from experiences in my own family and at different times in my life with in-laws. I am no longer troubled by the toxic people in my life, and when I encounter a new toxic person, I pull out my reference book and take quick appropriate action. The book has really helped me and is a better value than countless hours talking to a therapist.

 edjoecdn
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 20
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Will my new girlfriend (whenever that will be) accept me for breaking up from the familly?
Posted: 11/21/2009 3:41:56 PM
I'd just have a paralyzer and a smoke and pack my shiet up and move out on my own.

I had a similar situation occur..... and just walked;..... wait and see if that saying "time" heals all wounds is really true.

Fix yourself, get yourself in a happy place and moving in a positive direction.... then worry about the issues others have!

If you allow them to ride you a bit.... then it'll be a bit more, and a bit more... etc, etc.

Nip it in the bud ! ... Be the bigger man and get a car ! ( hick ... )
 Dudleyh45
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 21
Will my new girlfriend (whenever that will be) accept me for breaking up from the familly?
Posted: 11/22/2009 7:35:12 AM
easy karma remember "do you think the girls will think by penis is too small?" really means "i think my****is too small".
Sometimes we look back on life and wonder did we survive unscathed and relatively sane. We become shy from cringing away from others and take on a series of low profile jobs that keep us out of the way, hidden from life. We only defend ourselves when the rage is too great to control. Sometimes we go the opposite and become the hunter rather than the prey and stalk the earth looking for weaker beings to feed on. Either way we eventually all find a home at plenty of fish and then we know, nobody survives childhood. We are all damaged goods and sanity,like truth and justice,does not exist in this world. We have nothing to guage sanity by and therefore we must always wonder anew on our own. I think that is all silent wants to know, is he sane. Is it considered a rational thing to cut off from members of family? The truth is sanity does not exist so we use what is usual and customary to decide on a sense of sanity. This of course is a poor meter as we all are tainted. In short yes silent you are as screwed up as you think you are but so are the rest of us so don't worry about it. Do as you see fit as long as you can justify it to yourself. That is the new world way of doing things, embrace it.
 Dudleyh45
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 22
Will my new girlfriend (whenever that will be) accept me for breaking up from the familly?
Posted: 11/22/2009 3:22:16 PM
kharma you're startin to sound like a conservative. Hope for this world is lost i think. She needs to be destroyed so we can begin anew. Those who would take an objective look at themselves and their place on this planet are few and far between. In order for society to work in a civilized manner we have to have rules. Generally these are based on the cardinal sins of man, even in ancient cultures that knew nothing of sin. These are such as greed,sloth,gluttony,envy etc and are all actually human nature. So what has happened now is we are embracing our baser selves and letting society go. It is alledged to be a more inclusive society thus fairer to all and thereby less stressful. It cannot work and must fail yet who will be first to deny this new way a hold on them? I would love to see life changed to what we need it to be but a hand full of people will not change anything. With the way the world is now i think God doesn't have a prayer to change this world. There is not much point to fighting it any longer,i'm too weary for that.
 Heavencalling
Joined: 8/28/2011
Msg: 24
Will my new girlfriend (whenever that will be) accept me for breaking up from the familly?
Posted: 10/14/2011 2:00:13 PM
Every family has there problems. Mine too have a member who has out-casted most ofus because we did not agree with him in a serious family matter.

Don't give in to them. Would they do it for you, no. If that is how you feel, that's okay you have your own feelings, mind, conscious. If they don't like it to hell with them I say. They don't pay your bills or take care of you. You'll go on in the future with a person who should accept you for you and will one day marry you , not your family. If you loose relatives because of it, so be it, it is what it is. Those relatives you loose will one day have the same thing done to them too probably and be going through the same thing as you are now. No one controls you, comon your an adult accept what is and let it go. It will only haunt you if you don't. Who needs that in their life. Best to you.
 earthboundangel67
Joined: 9/2/2011
Msg: 25
Will my new girlfriend (whenever that will be) accept me for breaking up from the familly?
Posted: 10/27/2011 12:35:00 PM
some may, some may not accept a rift in the family situation. We cannot choose family, and for some, they can be very toxic. Gotta do what you gotta do for your health & sanity sometimes. If you cant have a decent , open discussion about life & things in particular....do you really need that person in your life. Just be yourself, be open & honest, and it will all be the way it is meant to. The right one will listen & accept things the way they are.
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