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 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 39
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etcPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
My nephew reads that magazine. Its a mens magazine, kind of like cosmopolitin for men. I see nothing wrong with it, it just gives men advice on being men that are attrative to women. After all thats what it is all about being able to have women attracted to you. I think you are dealing with a selfish , self centered controlling women. I would loose her, she needs to grow up. Reading is in no way cheating, I think she needs to get her head screwed on correctly.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 42
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:49:10 AM

If I was her I'd start looking at guys with huge d1cks right in front of you.
Wow... and this isn't over the top?

Seriously... it was a bloody magazine. I use to pick up copies of Hustler to read with my s/o... I'd even tag the really interesting pictures for him to flip to immediately.

There is NOTHING wrong with looking through a magazine, it is NOT disrespectful in any way, shape or form. Hell, I even went to strip clubs with my s/o... again, nothing wrong as long as he's just looking and not touching... well, touching them that is...
 Snotsure
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 44
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:57:40 AM

While your behaviour wasn't cheating it was disrespectful towards your gf so she had every right to be upset, but her reaction was over the top if she did react the way you claim she did. She should have calmly told you she was uncomfortable with your behaviour.

LOL guys always through the lack of trust crap at women. You want her to trust you? Then show you can be trusted. You aren't doing that.

You ending a relationship over this would be stupid. Her feelings obviously don't matter to you or you wouldn't be behaving so childishly.

So you had no ulterior motive for skank viewing? You just happened to pick it up? I don't buy that. You picked it up because you wanted to.

Then you post on here to get some justification for your negative behaviour, LOL.

If I was her I'd start looking at guys with huge**** right in front of you either in print or online and make it very obvious.


Out of the mouths of babies....

Chastise the OP for his reaction, bash him and suggest he is being childish, and then end your comments with an inane and childish remark about huge wangs...

It's a freekin magazine. She over-reacted. He did nothing wrong. PERIOD. No one could argue in favour of her having an conniption-fit over something like this. Hell, Maxim has articles intended for helping men please women... so he was doing her a favour by reading it while he dropped the swimmers at the pool.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 46
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:12:48 AM

If it makes his gf uncomfortable, then IT IS DISRESPECTFUL AND RUDE.
So where does it stop. The girlfriend determines what is and isn't acceptable for him to read/view. The next step will be her picking out his clothing, telling him who he can and cannot communicate with or accept as a customer in his store.

Heaven forbid a pretty woman walks in and he's caught glancing at her in what she perceives to be an unacceptable way... he'll be chained in a dungeon away from all the trappings of the devils' work in no time at all... living in a cocoon that is buffered by her and her alone.

And you don't think that's over the top? After all, those are things that she might find disrespectful and rude.


nothing wrong with her getting pleasure and enjoyment out of viewing huge****. He looks at skanks and plays with his peanut. What's good for the goose is damn good for the gander. Funny how men think it's acceptable for them to view but god forbid their gf does.
You're right... there is nothing wrong with a woman looking at porn. The way you've phrased it however is childish and immature.

I've yet to encounter a man that was put off by a woman masturbating... hell, I would even guess that 99.9% of men would be happy to either watch their girlfriend pleasure herself, or jump in and share in the fun.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 47
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:23:51 AM
YIKES!!! She sounds like a CRAZY woman!!! How does one "cheat" with a magazine?!!!

Have you ever cheated on her - with another woman???


EDIT:
If it makes his gf uncomfortable, then IT IS DISRESPECTFUL AND RUDE.


No, it makes the gf CONTROLLING and INSECURE.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 48
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:28:27 AM
^^^^ It may have been Paige, no?
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 50
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:14:52 AM
If she's remotely close to your age and she threw a tantrum over you looking at a magazine, I'd say she has a serious insecurity issue.

Despite the fact that she's "mostly sweet", she apparently has a demon who takes over when things don't go her way.

And, by the way, how exactly does looking at a magazine equal cheating???
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 51
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:18:12 AM
Tell her you are going to start stocking 'Psycho B1tch Monthly' instead.
She is immature and out of line.
 reboot1010
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 52
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:32:40 AM
Please do your best to mend things. I really don't want her ending up here.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 53
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:40:47 AM
OK, my poor mind is boggled that some people actually think reading a magazine is disrespectful TO them.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 54
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:46:13 AM
You joined a dating site a month and a half ago... she has reason not to trust you.

I don't think this was really about the magazine. I join a few others in opining that she's concerned - rightly - that you may be cheating on her, and the visual there was just a final trigger. I'm not nuts about temper tantrums (though my own response tends to be more of the point-and-laugh variety), but you're not blameless here, either.

It doesn't look like it's working out between you; I don't think this is the reason. There were obviously big problems already.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 55
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:48:58 AM
^^ True, the "final straw" is rarely the "only straw"
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 56
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:54:01 AM

and I put it down and left it in the bathroom, forgetting to replace it on the shelves.


Ewwwwwh. Remind me never to buy a magazine in your store.

Other than that, I am with everyone else here. She is childish. But if you chose to keep her, which I would not. I will introduce her to some of the threads here about couples and porn. Then I would take her to your local porn shop and show her how they are not for men anymore and they sell products and videos for both of you to enjoy. If she refuses, tell her where the door is.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 57
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:01:02 PM

You joined a dating site a month and a half ago... she has reason not to trust you.

He lists his status as living together and states he's here seeking advice.

OT: OP, has your GF ever been checked for BPD or depression? The 'usually sweet' and 'flies off the handle' extremes sound like they could be signs of a disorder. Otherwise, I'd be gone...*I* don't deal too well with someone who communicates by being demanding, throwing tantrums and giving ultimatums.







~ds~
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 59
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:19:35 PM
She threatened to vandalize your store? You still allow her to enter the premises?

I wouldn't tolerate it for a second. She'd be history.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 60
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:36:09 PM

He lists his status as living together and states he's here seeking advice.

And yet, this is the first time in six weeks he's requested any advice... and he also states that, for a first date, he'd "Meet you, greet you, seat you, treat you." (I don't think he means you, DS.)

Must've forgot to take out that part - along with the "creative, mature, secure, smart" headline - when he was editing other areas prior to posting this.

Looks like a duck, quacks... etc.

I'm not saying that the woman in this description behaved acceptably. I'm saying we can't trust his description. He's been deceiving his girlfriend, why not us? I'd really like to know what the same scene looks like as described by her.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 61
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:22:08 PM
^^^^^


I feel this is idiotic and immature, to say nothing of the lack of trust she shows towards me.

You are correct, sir. Nobody needs that level of insecure human in their life. It'll take a fortune's worth of counselling to turn that one into someone normal - maybe. Give it up as a bad deal and let her go. Yes, she has good points - even really awful people do; however a lot of good points can be outweighed by one honkin' wicked one (otherwise known as a 'dealbreaker').
 tzigane
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 62
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:47:39 PM
I would run. Maxim is not porn...and even if it were she completely over-reacted, and will again and again. I think she'd like to keep you on a very short leesh. If you like leeshes...you should stay I guess, but you will be miserable.
 anunu
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 63
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:26:37 PM


Funny, funny,and more funny!
Here is a description of that magazine taken directly from an advertisement:

"Maxim Magazine is the fastest growing general interest magazine for men that incorporates smart service journalism with an irreverent sense of humor. Maxim covers the gamut on subjects of interest to men, including sports, sex, cars, fitness, and personal relationships. Maxim Magazine brings it all together in one place so guys can relax, have a laugh, and learn something while they're at it."

Says nothing about porn!

Tell her she is cheating when she reads cosmopolitan or another magazine for ladies
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 65
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:39:41 PM
OP - Maybe you should show her some REALLY disgusting porn sites online and she'll learn what REAL porn is. If she is that much of a puritan to think Maxim is porn, she must just be a bundle of excitement for you in the bedroom. I imagine there is a lot of things there you're not allowed to do either. Tell her you need a real woman, not the psycho version of Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.

Let's just say you were looking at a real porn mag in private at your own place of business. In this economy, screwing up someone's business or sabatoging their work place is almost grounds for murder.

You would call the police if a stranger did this in your store - why is it ok for her to threaten violence in your place of business?

She has problems on several different levels.
 myluv4you
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 67
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:12:09 PM
she is inscecure and has ZERO sense of self-confidence .....

wait til you knock her ass up ! she'll feel so fat and undesirable you'll be walkin down the street w/ BLINDFOLDS on.....yep, son

is lotz of ladies out there. find u another honey bet its one standin round the corner..........
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 76
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:41:23 PM
OP - I just noticed your age in your profile. She's too young for you anyhow - that might be half the problem right there. You'd be better off with a more mature, and secure woman, not some little twit, that throws temper tantrums. Let me guess, the ONLY redeeming quality she has is a smokin hot body? A much younger woman thinks she can get away with that crap because a much older guy should be thankful to get them.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 77
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Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:48:54 PM

She is in her early 20's and yeah, pretty immature.

You made your bed and you're lying in it. Were you to get yourself a girfriend who's not young enough to be your daughter, you'd most likely not end up with this sort of immaturity. Actually, to complain that some gal in her twenties is 'immature' ... well DUH.

You lost my sympathy. You'll have whole heaps of problems due to the age difference - no point in whining about them here.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 78
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:18:51 AM

oops, forgot I had left that in my description.
I joined the site with my photo a few weeks ago when we had 'split'.
I removed all that afterwards when we worked things out. Kept it up because, I
agree, things don't look promising at all, all too often.
She is in her early 20's and yeah, pretty immature.

Which demonstrates thoroughly that, regardless of how ridiculous her object of choice was, her feeling of insecurity in the relationship is well warranted. You've already created at least one exit, which you fully expect to use. Also, you have no respect for her, hide things from her, and don't take her seriously in general. Some of this may be warranted, but that doesn't matter - it's no foundation for a relationship.

She may be unclear on why, but she knows the connection is tenuous between you. You can expect pretty constant drama because of that as long as you're nominally still together.

So do the grown-up thing yourself and break up with her already. That'll prevent any further meltdowns over unrelated trivia. I'm sure she'll have some break-up meltdowns, but at least they'll be about the actual problems. They'll also be over, and permanently, in pretty short order, relative to what you can expect if you keep stringing her along.
 kthgrdnr
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 80
Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:14:00 PM
She needs to get over it. She sounds very immature and maybe you need to step back and reevaluate your relationship. People that have such a lack of trust often seem to be the ones you cannot trust!
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