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 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 10
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Wedding for a first date?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Haha, might have included that information when asking! It came off... well differently than that, for sure.

Ask if his kids are going to be there. If they are, then ask if it's fine to bring yours. If his kids aren't going to be there then I probably wouldn't want to take mine.
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 11
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:12:12 PM
Bringing the kids is a great distraction during awkard moments in the reception.

Going to a wedding on a first date is a little nerve racking but it's a good chance to get to know what this guy is really like, there's food, liquor and dancing it can't be that bad.
 free_pizza
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 12
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:16:52 PM
Yes. Go if you want to and if you think that you might like this guy. It will probably be fun.

No. You don't need to bring a gift. You're the guest of an invitee. He will take care of the gift.

No. Do not bring your child. This one is not even a close call.

Hope that you enjoy yourself. Worst case scenario, if it doesn't work out with this guy, you might meet someone else there who interests you (not that you should be actively looking).
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 14
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:08:32 PM
OP: I personally wouldn't invite a perfect stranger as a date to my family's wedding. I typically go to weddings with my SO or solo.

However, if you feel that you would be comfortable and possibly get to know him better go for it. I would not bring a child in tow.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 16
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:03:03 PM
He's a smooth one.
Something about girls and weddings = sex afterwards.
Yall do have that weakness.
Enjoy!
 Patsfan70
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 17
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:05:55 PM
Sure why not, if you have been talking with him for awhile & feel comfortable.
 DelrayDesign
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 20
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:45:27 AM
Lots of replies telling you that you will get to see what this guy is like...BS!

Obviously he will be on his best behaviour so you will learn NOTHING about him except that perhaps he can "act"!!!

I can't imagine that you even had a "thought" to bring your kid.

You need to pass on the wedding invitation and stay home, prioritize your "thinking" and get yourself together because you are out of control...

Then maybe you will be ready for his next invite!
 airconditioninthesummer
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 21
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:58:34 AM
you know what? you should go to this wedding date and also get married afterwards!

c'mon, it's coincidence. are you that awesome that someone will want to marry you after having coffee with you? And if so, you should jump on that. I don't think brad pitt is going to leave his wife for you, so as us Texans say, "don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

in fact, don't go. tell him you changed your mind and that you're gonna rough it out until the one you really like emails you.

if you authentically liked him, you wouldn't even make these calculations. you should tell him this, and see how he reacts. if he doesn't have a backbone, leave him. If he leaves you, then he is an honorable man.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 23
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Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:04:32 AM
landra: I agree with you a 100% ,that it is tacky to invite a stranger to a wedding. Perhaps the man is trying to out fox the" OP "to buy the wedding gifts for both of them. And at the same time he impresses the woman of feastsible food ......... Yes it's cheap and degrading for a man to kill 2 birds with one stone.. It is more dignified to invite a woman for a coffee/ hamburger on first date ...

No I would not go to this wedding party with my daughter ,I am not crushing a party with people that I don't know..
I was invited a lot by girlfriends to some of their friends party that I don't know , and they insisted that they already taken care of the gifts, for the reason "I am a fun lively person,that I can intertain them.. No I never go for I have some respect for myself. I will not sell my self for just a plate of food..
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 24
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:15:14 AM
I think if he was in the wedding it would be pretty tacky.
But I think if they are comfortable with each other...what's
the big deal about going to a wedding together?
I wouldn't worry about the gift frankly...I would assume he
would be bringing a gift. It wouldn't even occur to me to bring
any kids...not sure why people think kids are invited to weddings
just because you are. His invite probably said ....and guest.
It's his cousins wedding...maybe they aren't that close and he's
just going because it's family...who knows?
So she gets to meet people, have a nice dinner, maybe dance...
where's the harm?
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 28
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:33:02 AM

I love how everyone skipped that I made my decision thanx...

Just part of the experience. Many will read only the initial post and nothing thereafter. Often they have a seemingly sound reason, not wanting their thinking to be influenced by others; but it has led to such ridiculous situations as posters new to a topic telling a young man how they thought he should handle a months-resolved situation with his girlfriend, when they'd broken up some time previously...

The topic will keep going with or without you. You need not pay attention. I'm curious what the decision was, but I gather you don't want to deal with the random range of reactions, and I can't blame you!

So if you decided to go, I hope you enjoy it, and if not, hope you two have fun together doing something else!
 ----------girl next door-
Joined: 7/20/2009
Msg: 30
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 10/31/2009 6:35:15 PM
Sheesh, the guy was looking for a date for a wedding, big deal. This thread was silly.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 31
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:21:49 AM
How remarkably nice! Thanks for the update. I think you're right, too, this sort of thing has incredibly slim odds of going that well ever again! Went to school with the bride, even, too funny.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 33
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 2/26/2013 5:56:19 AM
I know this is an old topic and the OP claimed that it went well. But I wouldn't bring someone to any family function until I got to know them better.
 AvailableinIndy
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 34
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 2/26/2013 6:15:12 AM
I would suggest you have a 'date' before the wedding to see if you do like him or not. Do not take your child to the wedding if you do go....that is VERY tacky. You are not family, and face it, no one really wants kids at their wedding unless they are family. (and I know people that don't even want kids from their family there..) Since you are the guest of a guest, I would not give a gift. Your date should put your name on his. I do this when I ask someone to attend a wedding w/ me as a guest. They don't know them, they are MY date. Just my opinion.
 awesomeo4000
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 35
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 2/26/2013 8:07:34 AM
I can't imagine the types of women I date being anything but creeped out if I asked them to a wedding on the FIRST date.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 36
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 2/26/2013 8:42:06 AM
I was in a similar situation once. After dating a woman 2 or 3 times, she mentioned she was going to wedding and she was in the wedding party, and asked me if I would like to go to it. I agreed to go. At the reception, she was seated at the head table with the rest of the bridal party and I was seated at a table with a bunch of people who I never met before-didn't know anyone at the wedding. When I started talking to them, they asked me "How do you know the bride and groom?" I had to admit I didn't know the bride and groom. I said they're friends of my date. They asked "Have you met the bride and groom with your date before today?" Again, I had to admit that I never saw them before. I felt awkward after that, especially since it was a relatively small wedding where everybody knew everybody else, except for me.
 cja41575
Joined: 4/30/2012
Msg: 37
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Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 2/26/2013 9:03:50 AM
Wow, people actually want to go to a wedding, willingly? Weird.

Don't ask me to give up my Saturday.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 38
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Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 2/26/2013 4:01:31 PM
Wedding date for a first date is ideal. You'll get to see the real person with his/her hair down. You'll meet friends / family, who will gladly spill the beans on your date (both good and bad). There's no "putting your best foot forward" at a wedding. It's the real deal.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 39
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 6/2/2017 11:10:16 AM

What are your thoughts and/or opinions with this???


FREE CAKE !

'Nuff said.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 40
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 6/3/2017 3:14:40 AM
Since you have already met him once, you have what you need to form a reasonable impression of his character.... enough at least to determine if you want to go on a regular date with him, where he picks you up. You'll just have to decide if you like and trust him enough.

It sounds like a fantastic date idea!
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 41
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 6/3/2017 2:42:10 PM
I know this thread is old, but it's funny, reading the responses.
My ex did it, went to a wedding within a 2 weeks of meeting the person.
Her daughters wedding, no less.
She dumped him within 2 months.
All I can think now is what it must be like, looking at the photo's.
"Hey, Aunt Sally, who's this dude?"
How do you explain to people that you invited a virtual stranger to your daughter's wedding and now you are stuck with photo's of him in them and no one even knows who it is?! :o
I'm sorry, maybe I'm just grouchy today, but I think anyone who agrees to go to the wedding of someone they don't know, WITH someone they don't know, needs to have their heads examined!
It's terribly presumptuous and slightly rude, jmo.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 42
Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 6/3/2017 8:16:31 PM
"Hey Aunt Sally, who's this dude?"

if its a shotgun wedding, I suppose it might just be the capper :) I had a former friend, a black sheep of the family, call me on a Thursday to ask what I was doing Friday, since her choice for her sister's wedding had dropped out. I went, the ceremony at Mystic Seaport was nice (used a harp instead of an organ for the songs), the food was wonderful, my placecard still had the last guy's name on it (Crossed out, no new name put in). And when the bride's strapless gown slipped off a little bit during Kriss Kross's song Jump, I got flashed.

some weddings are a solemn event. Others are just a party. I guess ya just gotta roll with it :) lol
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 43
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Wedding for a first date?
Posted: 6/4/2017 4:28:05 PM

Since you have already met him once, you have what you need to form a reasonable impression of his character....

No, she didn't actually. She Agreed to go out on an official date Then it was asked if a change of plans to turn it into a wedding for their 1st date.

IMO, a wedding date in general can be OK, but generally -- not a good idea. The only time it'd be an OK idea with a guy you were talking to online as your 1st date -- is if it wasn't a family wedding like this one was, but more like an old college roommate having one, they felt obliged to go and won't know anyone -- and you two have talked for a while and gotten to know each other some prior. A family shotgun wedding? I can see where that would be more tolerable -- but the problem is, shotgun or not, you're still meeting-the-family and such. I guess if HE's the black-sheep of the family and distant from them, and figured why-not to the shotgun wedding, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

But in general, it's about how close They are to the parties involved in going to the wedding (not just the bride & groom). And even after having had a 1st date -- still not a good idea, although I can understand the "fck it, why not" if the 1st date was hitting it off and turned into a sleepover and both ga-ga about each other -- while the wedding itself be a family reunion of sorts for them (instead, maybe a good friend getting married).
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