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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?      Home login  
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 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 226
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Page 10 of 54    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

"Statistics do show that men remarry faster than women"

Now color me crazy again, but aren't statistics just numbers? In fact aren't statistics based on the percentages? Hmmmm, seems they mean something to prove one point, but then again, they don't mean the same thing when proving another. Guess it's that new math that I don't understand, must be only gender specific!!

"and they show that men who are married live longer & more often profess to be happy"


Exactly! Numbers do not tell us a thing about why, and that does not differ from anything I said. I never said that the studies citing the fact that men tend to remarry faster or that married men live linger tell us WHY that is, simply THAT it is.

What the hell does my being in Finance have to do with that? I work with numbers all day long, but they don't tell me why a particular number came to be, and I know better than to expect them to. That is what analysis is for. To attack based on this as if I came to a conclusion.. geez, you even took the time to check my profile?! Have you nothing better to do?

My point remains, anyone can use statistics to claim that they prove a point, but numbers alone don't prove a subjective stance. As far as this thread goes, well, were it properly stated, "women initiate divorce proceedings 80% of the time". Most reasonable beings would agree, the initiation of the breakup of the marriage undoubtedly began long before the filing.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 227
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 1:20:17 AM
Damn, this is easy....BECAUSE 80% OF MEN DON'T LIKE LOOSING HALF THEIR SH*T AND GETTING TO SEE OUR KIDS ONLY ONCE EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. Take that out of the equation, and I guarantee those figures will reverse.
 LoisLane111
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 228
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 4:43:45 AM
Well, what about Sandra Bullock and Jesse James? I could be wrong but I believe she has ended things with him. But she has a broken heart and his actions had everything to do with her decision.

Who ended it, really?

In my experience, I've ended romances many times because I wanted more than the guy could give and it was too heartbreaking for me to take less. How does that figure in the stats?
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 229
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 6:47:01 AM

Damn, this is easy....BECAUSE 80% OF MEN DON'T LIKE LOOSING HALF THEIR SH*T AND GETTING TO SEE OUR KIDS ONLY ONCE EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. Take that out of the equation, and I guarantee those figures will reverse.


If I date a man for a while, and whether or not he breaks up with me or I break up with him, why would I take his "stuff" or his children? That's just silly.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 230
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 7:33:39 AM

Well, what about Sandra Bullock and Jesse James? I could be wrong but I believe she has ended things with him.


Actually, if you think about,,,seriously think about it,,,Mr.James ended it with his actions,,,,no?????? It will become official when Ms. Bullock tells James to go phuck em himself.

Who cares who starts the fire when you are watching your house burn down??????
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 231
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 1:43:21 PM

When I meet someone new, I just see who is in front of me and slowly get to know them and see if we are compatible in the long run...

Again, ...the folly in blanket generalization is realized when one stops seeing others as a "statistic", but as individuals.

As individuals, most here have been screwed over by someone or many someones in their life, ...to carry the "blame" forward into future relationships means that the person (regardless of gender) has given up on themselves as well as others, by falling into the comfort of, "it's not me, ...it's them".

Sad really...
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 232
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 2:55:38 PM
Ahhhh...quit bein' such a Danny Downer. I've read you profile, and it is quite good. You are clearly intelligent, and have a sense of humour. Your interests are varied, and you give off an honest vibe.
None of that matters very much it seems.

As to the topic: I'd guess women finalize the breakup more often because they obviously must know that they have more options out there. Men are a dime a dozen and many of them desperate on top of that. Game over for us.
 DragNFlyBuzzez
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 233
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 4:33:00 PM

men are slaves to their penis and are not patient


boy what a distorted view you have, teen boys may be but men are not. We all like pleasure.................thats the problem jaded women looking for power OVER a man.

Me I just want to have a loving relationship and a women that has a similar sex drive for pleasure not for power. As far as living alone, my son choose me over his jaded bipoler mother, I cook better, I clean better and I make alot of money, we live a quality life, he has been taught that women are humans, emotional humans, he thinks with his mind and no women will ever have power over him. its women like you that teach your daughter about power instead of loving relationships.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 234
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 6:06:49 PM

men are slaves to their penis and are not patient...they will always desire women and likely make the first move giving the power to women. plus women are far better at living alone than men. hate to say it but it is true. one qualifier, not all men but most of them.
I agree. Which is why men need to stop desiring women and beat them at their own 'game' (sad that we are forced to see trying to have a happy harmonious relationship as a 'game' to be 'won').
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 235
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 6:30:24 PM

jaded women looking for power OVER a man
I charge extra for that!
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 236
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 7:19:10 PM

thats the problem jaded women looking for power OVER a man.


I don't think she said she wanted power, or pursued it..she said men give it to women...

Personally, I'm not interested in power over anyone....but, I will say, if I was...there have been plenty of men willing to give it to me...only my sense of right keeps me from taking advantage of it ( and it sometimes is a temptation...)..

On the other hand, women have given men power of a different kind too...you can't control someone who doesn't allow you to do it can you?
 x_file_
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 237
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/18/2010 7:31:58 PM

Wow...there are more male mechanics than female mechanics...someone alert the media!
Psssttttt.......there are more female secretaries than male secretaries! Just so you know.


Okay. And?



What argument? Okay...men rule the world...Xfile is a man...therefore Xfile rules the world? Every woman must want you!


So you think women want guys that rule the world?

Also, the conclusion of your argument is wrong. The conclusion should be "Therefore x_file is ONE of the men who rules the world".

But nice try. At least the argument had a valid form.



You are projecting, I guess. I don't know who makes the coffee in my workplace. I'm sorry if you keep getting stuck with that icky responsibility all the time. You really oughtta flex your muscle a bit...you have a world to run, you shouldn't have to make the coffee as well.


I know 5 year olds with better manners. Grow up!



No, thanks. Your generalization was flawed and will continue to be flawed regardless of how you rationalize it.


You will have to show my generalization is flawed before you can claim it is flawed. Is that too hard of a concept for you to understand?


I am pretty sure she will get the nail fixed, with or without tears.


May be.

I guess you don't find anything odd about tears over a broken fake nail.



So go ahead and claim that men are calm in a crisis. Both genders lose their cool from time to time, and if you thought it through at all, you'd realize this.


So what's your point? Sometimes some men are not claim in crisis and sometimes some women are not clam in crisis?



Yes, I could. I am educated and capable, and I learn new material easily. I am not afraid of heights or any other thing that could limit my ability to be an electrician.


I can think of one... logic.



Have you considered stand up comedy as profession?


Have you considered a course in logic?
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 238
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/19/2010 7:56:09 AM
there is a reason why men are slaves to their penis...so we can reproduce. men will always desire women for that reason. It is not the only reason (ie pleasure) but it is the main reason and that's why our biology has evolved this way.
Self control, reasoning, education and the ability to weigh the consequences of our actions should be able to curb our evolutionary urges. Overpopulation and millions or children with absentee fathers has made this world a very sad place. Men want to have all the fun without any of the responsibility that comes with it.


just think, if men were like women...we would never get into relationships. without our sex drive, men would never get close to a women. let's face it, men put up with alot to get the girl. without our sex drive, there is no way we would do all those things, spend the money (risk the extremely bias judges) and other crap that comes with it. there is good stuff too.

We get it - men just want the sex with no emotional connection or bonding as a couple. That's a sad, empty life to me.


even with a high sex drive, too many men don't want to get married. just take a look at what's happening in countries with a death rate higher than their birth rates...ie japan, hong kong, russia, and most of europe. huge problems await those countries. japan and russia are expending lots of money and creating programs to get the young to get married and have children. it's not working.

Unfortunately with or without marriage, procreating with women that a man doesn't love or want to be responsible for has many negative effects on society.

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes --14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average. (Rainbows for All God’s Children)
70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)
85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)

I say it's all fine and good if a man wants to stay single, NOT have a family, have shallow relationships that he can walk away from easily, just get snipped.
I think women do wait and wait for improvement when their mate is exhibiting shallow, selfish, or complacent behavior. She gets tired of waiting for his help and realizes if she is going to do it all alone, she might as well make it official.
I do see exceptional marriages where the husband & wife have 6 kids, were high school sweethearts, or the dad cooks, or he brings the kids to piano lessons every week.
It works because he shares the responsibility and is involved with the family. It takes a man, not a little boy.
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 239
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/19/2010 8:10:28 AM

Clam? Claim? What are you even talking about?

I'm thinking panic typos, ...justa' speculation mind you.

We get it - men just want the sex with no emotional connection or bonding as a couple.

Oh please, never take a perpetuated stereotype as an affirmation of blanket generality, ...'tis folly.
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 240
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/19/2010 9:08:55 AM
ohwhynot, gee I apprciate the fact that you quoted my post, and took the time to thoughtfully reply to it, cite where you believe I am mistaken, I will only take one exception.

"What th hell does my being in Finance have to do with it?"

"To attack based on this" then "you even took the time to check my profile?"

Uhhhh! Sorry hon, check your facts, I never mentioned anything other than your post. Nor checked your profile.

But I do appreciate your thinking of me.
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 241
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/19/2010 9:45:06 AM
Well I see that my post had it's desired effect. Before I elaborate, let me note, that EVERYONE man and woman alike has an emotional ego. It is in effect a healthy thing to have, when it is in balance. It allows us to view ourselves with self worth, and hopefully see those who's egos are just runaway freight trains, bound for disaster.

Addressing issues on here when the walking wounded appear, or the occasional sh1t stirrer, derails the thread away from the discussion.

When 1 woman says and devalues ALL men as worthless, all the guys pile on. When I said that women approach relationships as disposable, the same thing occured. 4 or 5 women rose to defend the sisterhood from the implied attack.

Way back I discussed the importance of communication, but SOME ignored that and went on the attack to prove the men worthless or somehow lesser than women. Why? Because their self esteem cannot deal with facts, as they are. Fact, men will use women for sex more than a relationship, fact women will initiate the brak up 80% of the time.

That does not mean all men, nor all women. Neither side has actual numbers or facts on their side. The divorce statistics are pretty conclusive, but they still lack the reasons. This is no different than golddigging, coffee purchases or any of that other BS that comes across the board regularly.

I also agree with bugisback, those who's egos are not in check, will not post here and take the lambasting of the masses for errant behavior, they never do.

So instead of keeping to the discussion, it is far easier to attack, misdirect, defend(as in "not me") than to just see the problem for what it is, and discuss it. Instead of men admitting a defecency in communication, they cite what she took or did to them, instead of women saying what was in their hearts and minds at the time of leaving, it is far easier to say or cite, abuse, alcohol abuse, lack of satisfaction with the relationship.

I've repeatedly said, here and many other places, if you don't make your feelings known and dealt with through COMMUNICATION from the beginning, your relationship WILL FAIL!!!!! So now I go back to my original statement "women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?" So what? What can we do to change that, seems far more relevant than the percentages, statistics and stories attached to it.

JMHO
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 242
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/19/2010 10:21:31 AM

EVERYONE man and woman alike has an emotional ego. It is in effect a healthy thing to have, when it is in balance. It allows us to view ourselves with self worth, and hopefully see those who's egos are just runaway freight trains, bound for disaster.

...the difference between "self awareness" and "self deluded".

So what? What can we do to change that, seems far more relevant than the percentages, statistics and stories attached to it.

The issue that seems to separate the men/women from the boys/girls...

JMHO
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 243
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/19/2010 1:12:27 PM
I've been following this thread for some time now and I'm kinda sad about the general outlook of most people on here.

Instead of being grateful for having felt the love you felt when you married, enjoyed the moment, got the chance to have children and go through all that - you do nothing but "accuse". It seems many of you seem not to have gleaned any wisdom from your experiences.

Frankly, if I were with someone I loved I would not care a whit when they wanted to talk during the game or my show. My relationship should take precedence over anything on TV and just the fact that this person said this is a sad example of priorities. Most of you should be thankful for ANY partner that tries to open lines of communication. You should take that opportunity and SPEAK UP YOURSELF. If you don't, you are simply being a coward.

I have never been married, I have denied myself love many times because I suffer from a health issue and have been rejected for this several times and the one man I chose to commit to, left me when I needed him the most. I cannot give a man children either, so this has also made me step away from a relationship. I'm not looking for pity, I'm just telling you like it is, and how whiny you all sound to me.

So most of you should appreciate what you had with your ex's (unless there was abuse). Even the men who rejected me when I needed them most - I remember the good times we had fondly. I've put my "hatred" of that person behind me, but cannot change what happened nor can I change the effects it had on me. Such is life.

I feel it is futile to try to convince most of you of the other sex's worth. I know what it is and frankly I don't mind saying I need men and I don't need to put into a certain context. Some men are out there just making sure their family is okay, what's so wrong with that? Taking care of each other is what we should be doing.
 x_file_
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 244
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/19/2010 7:46:07 PM

Try to follow along, now. YOU pointed out that YOU have not seen female mechanics, pilots...blah blah blah, and when I took issue with that you responded with an inane comment that there are thousands and thousands of male mechanics.....so clearly I responded with an equally obvious statistic. You know...to point out how obvious and silly your point was...LOL.


The point was not about an "equally obvious statistic", but about jobs that are essential to the operation (and perhaps survival) of cities, nations, and the world.

Even if secretary is an essential job, when compared to say electrician, or a car mechanic, the latter are more important than the former.



Are you for real? I said that I handle crises at work, and you said, "Like what? Make the coffee?" Making coffee is not in my job description, and you intended to be offensive by suggesting that it is. You are the one with the bad manners, mr x.


My manners might be bad, but your aren't any better either. So, what crisis do you handle? Can you give an example?



Have you , or have you NOT ever seen a grown woman cry over breaking a nail?


More times than I can remember.



Clam? Claim? What are you even talking about?


Calm. The word is calm.

You can't comprehend a misspelled word from the context! And you handle crisis at work?


Kindly provide proof that what I said was not logical.


I already did. The conclusion of your argument was wrong. If you are a logical person you would know that.

Have a crack at this one, lets see how logical you are:

[A and B] implies C
C
Therefore _____?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 245
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History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/19/2010 7:54:22 PM

Uhhhh! Sorry hon, check your facts, I never mentioned anything other than your post. Nor checked your profile.

But I do appreciate your thinking of me.


ooops... well, in the words of Emily Latella.....

Never mind.
 x_file_
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 246
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/20/2010 7:19:36 AM

Not trying to pick on you but your certainty that you are so much more important and valuable is the precise reason why so many women divorce men IMO.


If what you say is true, I think that's the nicest thing those women could have done for those men.



You really think companies could run without someone organizing, doing the books, advertising, communicating, picking up the phone, booking calls etc?


What phone are you going to pick up without electricity? What phone are you going to pick up without a phone in the first place? What building are you going to pick up the phone in?

The phone was invented by a man. Electricity was discovered by a man, and the buildings in which secretaries pickup the phones are engineered, and build mostly by men.

So yes, men, as whole, in comparison to women as a whole are more valuable and certainly more important to the day to day operation in a society. Men are the foundation of society anywhere on the planet.


It's not just the self importance that's the problem. It's the behavior that comes with that overblown sense of self importance - sense of entitlement, sense of special rights. That women should put up with unacceptable behavior from men because you are special, and we should be so grateful and dependent that we must put up and shut up. Hmmm. Those days are over.


You are projecting.



Anyway, you guys forced us into support roles, the roles with lower pay and less glory because you didn't want those jobs, not because we couldn't do the same work as you.


Okay, and you made us force you. Two can play at the blame game.



That's all changing. Yes there will always be jobs that require more muscle than many women have but there will also be the work of birthing babies that not one of you can do so....perhaps rething your feeling of superiority and consider that we are different but you are not superior to women all around. Just in some ways in some instances as we are to you.


Your superiority comes from birthing babies? Like in hospitals build by men? That run on electricity discovered by a man, and structurally and operationally maintained by electricians and mechanics?



Then maybe you can love a women in a way that makes her want to stay.


Like I said, if what you say is true, I think that's the nicest thing those women could have done for those men. Get going...
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 247
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/20/2010 7:42:05 AM

Men are the foundations of any society, at this moment, anywhere on the planet.


This is one of my favourite arguments hosted by the self-aggrandising man. They assume all of the credit for the wonders of technology and civilization but are unwilling to expropriate the responsibility of how this may have occurred.


So yes, men, as whole, in comparison to women as a whole are more valuable and certainly more important to the day to day operation in a society.


 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 248
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/20/2010 7:42:15 AM
Have a crack at this one, lets see how logical you are:

[A and B] implies C
C
Therefore _____?
ummm ... Zebra? There is no logical deduction one can draw from this statement, since there is no stated dependency. Meaning, this statement provides no logical inference that C can occur only if A and B are true. It is a logical fallacy to assume that a one way statement (If A, then B) holds true for the converse (If B, then A).

To reiterate (using the particular example, above): If (A and B), then C does NOT imply if C, then A and B. It's only a one way statement. So it does not mean C can ONLY happen if A and B are true. Hope this helps!

P.S. Most college-level philosophy classes in logic would require the type of understanding, described above, as a prerequisite for the course. I found a brief discussion in an old textbook. You may want to refer to "The Elements of Logic" by Stephen F. Barker, Dept. of Philosophy, The John Hopkins University. There is an example in the introduction you may find helpful. It was copyrighted in 1965, but I have a feeling, it is still valid!

I can't resist an illustration:
[A and B] implies C
Having labia and red hair on it implies you are a natural redhead.
Carrot Top (the comic) has naturally red hair. Therefore he has labia with red hair on it!
Not that there's anything wrong with that!


You are logical but not emmmjay (if you figured out the answer on your own that is.)
I'm assuming you are directing this slight at me based on my gender. It says loads about you and your mind set. Sad ... Really.
 x_file_
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 249
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/20/2010 8:08:24 AM

ummm ... Zebra? There is no logical deduction one can draw from this statement, since there is no stated dependency.


You just had to answer the question, didn't you? Couldn't you let emmmjay answer the question?

That is the correct answer. A => B is false only when A is true and B is false, and true in all other instances, hence even if B is true, no deductions can be made about A. Therefore, in the particular example, ([A & B] => C) & C, nothing can be deduced about [A & B].

You are logical but not emmmjay (if you figured out the answer on your own that is.)



This is one of my favourite arguments hosted by the self-aggrandising man. They assume all of the credit for the wonders of technology and civilization but are unwilling to expropriate the responsibility of how this may have occurred.


Good, so you agree that men are mostly to be credited for the wonders of technology and civilization.

You can do the expropriation. Can't wait to see it.
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 250
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/20/2010 8:37:11 AM
You can do the expropriation. Can't wait to see it.


I love redundancy.


So yes, men, as whole A , in comparison to women as a whole B are more valuable and certainly more important to the day to day operation in a society C .



That is the correct answer. A => B is false only when A is true and B is false, and true in all other instances, hence even if B is true, no deductions can be made about A. Therefore, in the particular example, ([A & B] => C) & C, nothing can be deduced about [A & B].


I would also like to add that C is indeterminate based upon A and B.

I would like to see some sources, that women initiate 80% of break-ups...if a man/woman cheats and breaks faith with the parameters of the agreed upon terms of the relationship, does that mean they are initiating a break-up?
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