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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 326
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Page 14 of 54    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
There are countless threads here about couples having problems in their relationship. In most cases (probably around the 80% mark mentioned in the thread title) the women are the first to jump on the "kick him to the curb", "dump the jerk" bandwagon. A lot of people think it's easier to dump the old version of the spouse and trade up for the newer, improved model rather than repairing the old version, just like with any products that are purchased in a store.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 327
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 9:59:21 AM
You know what part of the problem may be?

It would be not only refreshing, but probably conducive to actually fixing the problem or relationships..if one or two guys would actually be able, willing, or brave enough to admit that they had absolutely anything to do with why their spouse/ex is/was unhappy..and work on their part too..it takes two to both make it work, and cause it's demise...

This men are perfect and women are evil/defective..is part of the problem me thinks..you can't fix a problem when the other side insists there isn't one..especially, if they aren't honest/self reflecting enough to look at how they contributed to the problem..or, even worse, dismiss the others concerns/feelings...

When more men can do that...maybe more marriages would survive and both parties would be happier...

You are your own worst enemy...
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 328
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 10:08:07 AM

It would be not only refreshing, but probably conducive to actually fixing the problem or relationships..if one or two guys would actually be able, willing, or brave enough to admit that they had absolutely anything to do with why their spouse/ex is/was unhappy..and work on their part too..it takes two to both make it work, and cause it's demise...


I have been waiting on this.......Show me one time I have said men are perfect........over and over I said men are more willing to work on the problems. That women communicate at men not to men.
Men are problem solvers that is in our genetic make up. HOWEVER WE MUST KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS FIRST WE ARE NOT MIND READERS!!!!
007 Hit the nail on the head with the Tarzan theory.
Women start planning to leave setting up a new life and never give the guy a chance to fix it!!!
Heck we are human we all screw up men and women. the fact is women walk away before men know there is trouble!!!

As far as me being my own worst enemy.......Not a problem I have no desire to be married again. I promise there are plenty of women out there that are just looking for a nice time and nothing serious so no worries there either.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 329
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 10:35:06 AM
^^^^ Geez...you guys can always spin it to your advantage can't you?...lol..I can't speak for your personal situations.but, I, and many women I know, repeatedly tried to tell our exes what was wrong..they didn't take us seriously...


Heres the rub, no other person can make someone happy


There is a world of difference between expecting someone to MAKE you happy, and asking them to not do things that hurt you/upset you , or to understand that it does..I wasn't asking him to make me happy..I was asking him to quit doing things that made me unhappy..this is not an unreasonable request to make of someone who professes to love you...

What men consider deal breakers and what women may consider deal breakers is obviously different too...you list only the tangibles as being deal breakers...personally, any man who refuses to or can't treat me like he loves me...that would be huge a deal breaker...why be married to someone who doesn't treat you with love and understanding...

Your comments appear to both absolve men of any responsibility for care of their wives emotionally, and but the blame back on the women again..talk about tunnel vision...
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 330
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 10:48:01 AM

There is no way I can make someone else happy, who is not happy with themselves.


Now we are getting somewhere.
How many times has a man walked in to his lady crying and ask. What is wrong? Just to get a I DON'T KNOW!
The first few times this happens the man will most likely ask a few more questions just to be met with more IDK"s.
The man was trying to find the problem but the woman doesn't tell him........She expects him to already know..........Tell me ladies when your the one crying and the man asks whats wrong and you tell him IDK why do you expect him to know?!?!?!?

Most men would walk through hell soaked in gas for his lady but without know he needs to fix or change something how is he going to be able to?

I know both my ex's came back wanting to start over I would bet many women find they didn't have it as bad as they thought when they left if they will be honest.
However ladies most of the time when you walk away you destroy the trust the man has in you he will never have that feeling she has my back come what may again.
Because you showed him that you would walk away.
Sad really there is nothing sweeter than seeing a elderly couple setting together after a long life.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 331
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 10:57:18 AM

How many times has a man walked in to his lady crying and ask. What is wrong? Just to get a I DON'T KNOW!


As usual, I can't speak for every woman,..but, often if I say I don't know...it's because I actually DONT know..I know men find this hard to comprehend...in these situations..probably all I wanted was for him to hug me, hold me, and tell me it will be alright, and that he loves me...not fix anything...

If I am unhappy with something to do with him...I have no problem telling him that...but, sometimes that kind of unhappiness isn't about the guy at all..and I'm only addressing the issues he can control, or help with, in my posts...

Honestly, totally....best decision I ever made to get divorced...for both of us...
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 332
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 11:06:28 AM

As usual, I can't speak for every woman,..but, often if I say I don't know...it's because I actually DONT know..I know men find this hard to comprehend...in these situations..probably all I wanted was for him to hug me, hold me, and tell me it will be alright, and that he loves me...not fix anything...


But did you tell him that?


If I am unhappy with something to do with him...I have no problem telling him that...but, sometimes that kind of unhappiness isn't about the guy at all..and I'm only addressing the issues he can control, or help with, in my posts...


Ok that shows you know it is coming from inside you if you know he has no control over it.

Tell me on the day you spoke your vows to him and God did the vows say anything about if you become unhappy with yourself it was ok to walk away?
Any person male or female getting a divorce for this kind of reason should have never took the vows of marriage.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 333
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 11:16:32 AM

My post was not gender specific in the least way. I'm not fighting some battle of the sexes I was talking straight to the point. I cannot take care of someone of someone who's emotions require external validation to feel good about themselves. It's not about absolving anyone, its about taking control of why people feel this way. If someone places their need for external validation from their mate, to tell them and constantly reassure them of love, then the fault lies squarely on the person seeking such.


Maybe I need to be more specific here...because you are obviously assuming something about me, maybe based on your past experiences, that isn't the case..

Constant is a keyword here...in my situation ..it was never..I like me just fine..it was him who apparently didn't really like me, or would like me maybe if I changed enough about myself to suit his standards...he didn't accept me as I am...isn't that something men usually put a big premium on?

Do you consider constant criticism and belittling of someone loving?
Do you consider someone who consistently talked about how inadequate/flawed you were loving?
Do you consider someone who never in ten years, bought you flowers, or got you a card for any special occasion unless specifically asked to loving?
Do you consider someone who never did even the littlest, smallest of things for you ..without complaining about it ...loving?
Do you consider someone who let other people attack and abuse you, and kept silent loving?
Do you consider someone who after you had major surgery, was so angry you had to miss six weeks of work, refused to come to the hospital for a few days, and barely spoke to you during your recovery, and hired someone else to help you till you get back on your feet loving?

I could go on...regardless of what my self esteem issues are or were...this kind of behavior has nothing to do with it...it wasn't even basic caring...I wasn't looking for validation...I was looking for some kind of respect and loving behavior..and I know a ton of women who had the same experiences...and who when they kept trying to ask their husbands to talk about it, or compromise, or listen...or something that implied they really cared about them...were blown off and/or ignored..and this is what I am talking about...

And really..if it makes a person, of either gender, feel good to do nice things for them...why would someone refuse based on a principle of "it's not my job to be nice to you"? Don't get that at all...

EDIT to add:


But did you tell him that?


Frequently..it was just so against his nature to understand I just wanted his presence , not his problem fixing abilities...he just couldn't...

As to becoming unhappy with oneself....we can't predict the future, nor, can we predict how we will handle what comes up in the future...we all make mistakes, we all may discover later in life, whether married or not, that we need to fix behavior that is detrimental to ourselves...if the change required to be the best we can be, means leaving a situation we are in, while it may be sad..there is no reasonable alternative...you can not live in misery just to make someone else happy, or to follow any rules...you have to make yourself happy, as they say, and sometimes that means other people may be hurt, unintentionally...I believe in doing whatever is necessary to make it work...but, sometimes what you want, is just not realistic...
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 334
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 12:09:45 PM

How many times has a man walked in to his lady crying and ask. What is wrong? Just to get a I DON'T KNOW!

That isn't quite as bad as the other common response when a woman is crying apparently for no reason, and you ask her what's wrong, and she screams out "NOTHING". That sure is a funny way of showing that nothing is wrong. The first thing that's wrong is the woman is a liar. At least the "I don't know" may or may not be the truth. If a guy breaks down and starts bawling for no apparent reason, people would think the guy is a loony tune/nutcase. But when a woman does it, it's excused and she could always blame it on the guy for making her cry. Talk about double standard.
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 335
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 12:12:00 PM
Ahhh the new age problem with the forums comes to light!! (sigh) Just 18 months ago we would have had a variety of responses to most of the points being illustrated. Now we are down to 8 to 10 posters following the threads progress. sad isn't it!

Zangie I get what your saying, and the plight in your relationship. I also get what the guys are saying. Yes I got the crying jag thing followed by IDK.

A while ago I posted in painful detail, all the ills of my relationship and it's demise. I admitted my shortcomings and what she did as well. Unfortunately that thread was deleted. I'm not going to bore the bunch of you with a rehash.

Suffice to say, zangie for your list, I had one as long or longer. In short, she had the help to clean the house, nanny for the kids, when she wanted she returned to college and I glady paid the tuition(she was a SAHM) which is why I put it that way. After graduation, she took no job, she never looked for one. There were more things, who cares, it's in the past.

I freely admit, I could have been more attentive, biz travel took me away 10 days a month. But the IDK's continued, no discussions, nothing I could grab onto. In the end she cheated, it wasn't the first time, but this time it was the last!

As the other poster said, I can help make things more even, chores and such, I can ask "what's wrong?" but if all I get is IDK, what's the point? Once you choose to step outside the relationship with someone else, to "make you feel happy or fulfilled", there is NO relationship anymore.

So if you can't find happiness in yourself, if you can't confide in your SO what the problem is, then there is no answer any man or woman can give that will make it better.
 BeatrixKiddo2010
Joined: 3/19/2010
Msg: 336
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 1:05:31 PM
I think part of it has to do with the fact that we have more freedom these days. For thousands of years, once we were married, we were expected to "put up" with a lot of behavior that women shouldn't have to put up with from any man. (like various types of abuse, control, etc)

We didn't have the financial freedom to divorce either since money was still maintained by the man not that long ago. (Men seem to forget, that they've been "free" for a very long time. We've only gotten our "freedom" in the past few decades.)

So, now that we finally have the freedom to leave marriages that used to make us feel trapped, many more women are doing so.

Some women also leave to protect children that were being abused by the man.

However, this post is aimed more towards men to treated women (and their children) poorly, not men who've treated their wives well and have been taken advantage of. And I do believe that some men do taken taken advantage of in the divorce courts, unfortunately due to the "bad" men who've given all men a bad reputation.

I think there are plenty of husbands/fathers who care about their families, but since there are so many "deadbeats" out there as well who don't take care of their kids or abused the wives, etc, the "good" men suffer flack in court due to those deadbeats. We want women and children to be protected, but we also don't want good men getting so beaten down by a divorce that they loose the incentive to stay good men.

So, while I think its good that women have more choices and the freedom to leave bad marriages, its a real shame that sometimes, the wrong men are being left. Personally, as a 35 year old woman, it makes me cagey about marriage in general.

However, there's also another reason more women tend to initiate the breakups. I think men have a harder time ending a relationship due to guilt, etc, so its easier to just let things flounder and let the woman finally end things.

This is based on my own experiences where I started realize the guy wasn't putting any effort into the relationship anymore, but he wasn't going to just say he wanted out. Instead, it was always left up to me to initiate the breakup when things started to sour. Does it make it easier? I don't know. Sometimes, I wished some of them would have just told me I wasn't what they wanted, instead of letting things get to the point where I was finally "forced" to break up to save on my own sanity.

Makes staying single look more inviting then marriage...that's for sure. (But my heart is a bit more jaded these days)
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 337
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 2:00:55 PM

.if the change required to be the best we can be, means leaving a situation we are in, while it may be sad..there is no reasonable alternative...you can not live in misery just to make someone else happy, or to follow any rules...you have to make yourself happy


So by this you are saying making yourself happy is the utmost concern. Ok lets look at the cost of that "HAPPINESS"
Many studies have shown that divorce has caused the breakdown in our country higher crime rates more homicides and suicides.
The cost of having to have two homes put people below the poverty line.........I could go on and on. It is safe to say divorce and the breakdown of the family unit has had a mojor effect on all theses and many other problems in the US and around the world.

So wouldn't it be better to try a little harder to make yourself happy without causing so many problems for the rest of us?
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 338
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:14:09 PM

So by this you are saying making yourself happy is the utmost concern. Ok lets look at the cost of that "HAPPINESS"
Many studies have shown that divorce has caused the breakdown in our country higher crime rates more homicides and suicides.
The cost of having to have two homes put people below the poverty line.........I could go on and on. It is safe to say divorce and the breakdown of the family unit has had a mojor effect on all theses and many other problems in the US and around the world. So wouldn't it be better to try a little harder to make yourself happy without causing so many problems for the rest of us?
So, do you blame maffers (msg 550) for all the ills of the US and around the world too? Or, is just a female agenda that you're on?
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 339
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:18:57 PM
No I blame divorce which at least 70% of the time is started by women. Also note again in the states that are enacting the joint custody laws the filing by women has dropped greatly.
The men filing and destroying their families are just as much to blame........Only there is not nearly as many of them!!!

So i guess you could say women have brought this on themselves!!!

Anyway maffers had a ligament reason for his adultery not just because he was "un-happy"!!!
I also give him kudos because he tried to keep it together it wasn't untill she cheated the second time that he filed........Giving credence to the man is more willing to stay and work it out statement I have been making!!!
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 340
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:25:26 PM

The men filing and destroying there families are just as much to blame........Only there is not nearly as many of them!!!
So, what's your point? Until we get stats on REASONS why women are filing.. You can't blame the ills on the world on any gender. You blame Zangie for not making herself happy. If you can do that (using illogicality, then the blame can also be put on maffers for not staying in his marriage even though his wife is a cheat.. He could have stayed in the marriage and made himself happy and just accepted her polyamourous life style, or joined her in it for that matter..

Rediculous.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 341
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:31:30 PM

So, what's your point? Until we get stats on REASONS why women are filing.. You can't blame the ills on the world on any gender. You blame Zangie for not making herself happy. If you can do that (using illogicality, then the blame can also be put on maffers for not staying in his marriage even though his wife is a cheat.. He could have stayed in the marriage and made himself happy and just accepted her polyamourous life style, or joined her in it for that matter..

Rediculous.


Zangie's un- happy state came from within her not just her husband. She never said he cheated or did anything else that calls for divorce.

Maffers problem was his wife's doing not his.

You trying to make that leep to link the two is what is ridiculous!!!!

As far as someone accepting their mate cheating that idea is just depraved!!!!

To the below post no I do not and the stats show it. it was in the 1800's that women have been allowed to file. Since then they have always filed more. Then when no-fault divorce became the norm the numbers of women filing have climbed and still is.
So to answer your question no the facts just don't show that.

Even in the states the use joint custody while the women filing first has dropped the men's numbers have remained the same.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 342
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:46:11 PM

Maffers problem was his wife's doing not his.
It doesn't matter, with your logic he shouldn't have filed for divorce.. he should have sucked it up and made himself happy.


You trying to make that leep to link the two is what is ridiculous!!!!
Not when using your reasoning .. it's your reasoning that I find rediculous.


As far as someone accepting their mate cheating that idea is just depraved!!!!
So is staying with a man who belittles you, abuses you, is unloving, is not in the partnership, apathetic, is inherently mean etc.. But you seem to think that one should just suck that up.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 343
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:48:06 PM
No I do not and the stats show it. it was in the 1800's that women have been allowed to file. Since then they have always filed more. Then when no-fault divorce became the norm the numbers of women filing have climbed and still is.
So to answer your question no the facts just don't show that.

Even in the states the use joint custody while the women filing first has dropped the mens numbers have remained the same.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 344
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:51:41 PM
I never said any of that if there is just cause for divorce then prove it and get one. Go back and read some of my post I am not against women at all. I have said in posts on here some have good reasons.
Also take in account the vows if it does not break them it is NOT a reason for divorce!!!
No matter what sex you are!!!

Bottom line is a person is only good as their word the vows are a covenant between two people and God.
To leave for any other reason than the vows being broken means you broke your word and the vows!!!

The state looks at it like a contract and in any other contract the party that broke the agreement has to pay.
Maybe if the marriage contract was held to the same standards there would be less divorce from both sexes!!!!!!!!
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 345
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 4:04:18 PM
Some of these laws have been on the books for years and the stats have not shown men filing more. However it did show a immediate drop of women filing. What could that mean? Maybe that without getting the house and huge child support payments these women that had been filing thought better of it?
Why is it when the facts show plainly that women file more to the tune of 70% are there women saying just wait and see it is really the men to blame?

As my dad (RIP) use to say "IF THE SHOE FITS WEAR IT"
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 346
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 4:10:11 PM

Why is it when the facts show plainly that women file more to the tune of 70% are there women saying just wait and see it is really the men to blame?
You can only blame women for filing more times then men.. But! As I said before, you can't blame them for the reasons they filed.

Why don't you find some stats on the reasons who cares if women file more times then men.. It doesn't absolve men of any wrong doing in the marriage.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 347
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 4:19:50 PM

You can only blame women for filing more times then men.. But! As I said before, you can't blame them for the reasons they filed.

Why don't you find some stats on the reasons who cares if women file more times then men.. It doesn't absolve men of any wrong doing in the marriage.


As I said before if the vows have not been broken neither sex has a reason to file. I have not claimed that it absolved men of wrong doing!!!
You seem to think I am against women not so. I am against filing for divorce "just because it's not working out like I thought" Or any other frivolous reason.

The stats in the states that have joint custody show when the advantage women have in the courts are leveled to the men's rights the women are not filing as much.
Again I am not blaming women I don't make the stats I am just commenting on them. It is your gender that made the stats what they are and now because we talk about them I am against women..........Head in palm!!!!!


Sooo...what can I say. Men are more complacent in a bad relationship?

Already got theirs on the side so they'll just ride it out and have the cake and eat it?

Just dumber in general?

Guess women are just more proactive when they aren't happy, is all. Cheers. And I don't even have any kids, so nope, not costing you a cent for me.


There it is the I am doing what makes me happy at all costs!!!!
That makes us men dumb?!?!?!?
What it really shows is integrity!!!!
As far as gender the stats show that I am just as much against a man filing for reasons other than the vows being broke!!!! So though you may try to paint me as a woman hater it won't work.
Again the stats are what they are we are talking why not who's to blame. I find it very hard to believe that all the women filing have put 100% effort in saving the marriage. Also that their husbands have broke the vows in every case.
Same thing for the men that file. But seeing as 70% of women file first and only 30% of men it would stand to reason that more women than men are filing for reasons other than broken vows!!!!
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 348
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 4:52:05 PM

Okay. Let's say that men file for about 30 percent of divorces (your number), and for half of them (guys like maffers, let's say) it was because they really felt they had no choice but to end it (cheating, abuse, addiction, whatever). It is at least possible (very, very likely IMO) that of the 70 percent of divorces filed by women, half of them were because the partner deserved it. Half of 30 and half of 70 is the same thing as 50-50. That seems about right to me.


Ok lets look at this in real numbers!!!!!

We will take 1000 people using the 70/30 so that is 700 women and 300 men.
now lets use your 50/50. Half of 700 is 350 half of 300 is 150.......Hummmmmthat is still more than twice as many women than men?!?!?!.......How did that happen?!?!?!? No where near even is it?!?!?!?


What is life but a quest for happiness? That is not selfish, BTW, because one's happiness is generally intertwined with the happiness of our loved ones. Children can be much happier living half time with two separate but happy parents than by living with a miserable married couple.


In a perfect world you would be right however you just left out what I was really saying that the havoc divorce has on the country is staggering.
There will always be the ones that play the children of the other parent just to hurt them and then the ones that will disappear altogether so the absent parent is kept from their kids.
Facts are when the divorce rates where much lower the country was a better place.


You are not comprehending the entirety of Zangie's messages (on purpose, I suspect) . She did state that sometimes when she was unhappy it was from within, and took ownership for that. However, you chose to overlook the following:


I didn't overlook that at all but it takes two. I suppose she had no input in the way her husband treated her? She admitted she would tell him IDK when asked what is wrong......a person gets to the point when there is no communication they quit asking and caring. We don't get answers just IDK's How do you work out a IDK?


No, emotional abuse is not adultery, but it is something equally insidious and hurtful, because that kind of behaviour will erode that person's very sense of self, if it is allowed to continue. Furthermore, the people who practice this kind of emotional abuse are most often the type of folks who shrug their shoulders and innocently protest that they did “nothing wrong”. Certainly nothing worthy of divorce...maybe that is why they never see it coming.


Ok the breakdown of communication came way before the "abuse" again how many IDK's can someone take? Slap a dog when he barks enough and he will quit barking!!!
The breakdown was both their faults had she responded when he asked the out come may have been different.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 349
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 5:04:54 PM

On Edit...the post I was replying to became too dumbazz to continue with future replies.


reminds me of the first grade......When your point becomes mute just call the other person a poopyhead!!!!......lol
Again the stats are what they are none of you have given a good reason for them being so high.
Because we can is not a good reason!!!

Call me all the names you like it don't bother me. The disproportionate numbers show a problem.
Spin it anyway you like it is still there!!!

It is a damn shame when FACTS get in the way of opinion!!!!
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 350
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 5:14:32 PM
American society may have erased the stigma that once accompanied divorce, but it can no longer ignore divorce's massive effects. As social scientists track successive generations of American children whose parents have ended their marriages, the data are leading even some once-staunch supporters to conclude that divorce is hurting American society and devastating children's lives. Its effects are obvious in family life, educational attainment, job stability, income potential, physical and emotional health, drug use, and crime.
Each year, over one million American children suffer as their parents divorce. Moreover, half of all children born in wedlock this year will see their parents divorce before reaching their eighteenth birthday. This fact alone should give policymakers and those whose careers focus on children reason for pause.
Social science research is showing that the effects of divorce continue into adulthood and affect the next generation of children as well. If the effects are indeed demonstrable, grave, and long-lasting, then something must be done to protect children and the nation from these consequences. Reversing the effects of divorce will entail nothing less than a cultural shift in attitude, if not a cultural revolution, because society still embraces divorce in its laws and popular culture, sending out myriad messages that "it's okay."
It is not. Mounting evidence in the annals of scientific journals details the plight of the children of divorce. It clearly indicates that divorce has lasting effects which spill over into every aspect of life. For example:

* Children whose parents have divorced are increasingly the victims of abuse and neglect. They exhibit more health, behavioral, and emotional problems, are involved more frequently in crime and drug abuse, and have higher suicide rates.

* Children of divorced parents more frequently demonstrate a diminished learning capacity, performing more poorly than their peers from intact two-parent families in reading, spelling, and math. They have higher dropout rates and lower rates of college graduation.

* Divorce generally reduces the income of the child's primary household and seriously diminishes the potential of every household member to accumulate wealth. For families that were not poor before the divorce, the drop in income can be as much as 50 percent.

* Religious worship, which has been linked to health and happiness as well as longer marriages and better family life, is less prevalent in divorced families.

Read this it shows how the divorce rate climbing hurts us all!!!!!

Both my divorces were filed by the wives not by me. I retained custody of my children without any child support from the mothers.
You are trying to make it personal and it is a problem that effects us all.
The filing stats I posted a few pages back if you want to see them just scan back.

As far as your last post if you are tired of it LEAVE THE THREAD no one is holding a gun to your head to be here!!!
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