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 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 426
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Page 18 of 54    (14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54)
Excuse me everyone but have you not figured out from previous posts on many threads resistance is futile? You are trying to competively debate with two of the best on this site. Mnt. and Alpha will get you every time.

Back to the question at hand. When is enough enough? When do you stop compromising with a partner? This is not gender specific, but unique to each experience.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 427
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 3:59:40 PM

Back to the question at hand. When is enough enough? When do you stop compromising with a partner? This is not gender specific, but unique to each experience.

To me it is when they break the vows without remorse. Abuse, abandonment. that type of thing.
If one or the other thinks they have grown apart then set down a talk about it when you feel that way not years later after you let it fester to the point of explosion!!!

That way both are on the same page not one or the other having the rug snatched out from under them.

I have a friend that is going through a divorce right now that lived in a loveless marriage for many years.
When I ask her why she said the money he made was just to fabulous to walk away from!!!
I am sure there a man that do the same to women also.
Either way would it not be better for both to be honest when they first feel that way?
Letting both deal with the relationship's demise at the same time?
Both informed of the others intent?
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 428
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 4:07:29 PM
Look neither one of us is going to change our minds so you believe what you want and I will believe what I want.

Again, ...see "Bias Confirmation".

My "belief" isn't contingent on anecdotal experience (it's in spite of it). The fact is, I "let go" of past bad experiences with women in order to let any potential S.O. define herself as an individual, ...not a statistic, not a blanket gender generality. This is the opposite of "bias confirmation".

I'm basing my refutation on reasoning, ....belief ain't a player.

The last three relationships (one marriage) I was in were irreconcilable because my S.O.s resorted to false reasoning, fallacy and irrational adherence to emotional conviction when they too, tried to "fix blame" instead of "fix problem".

Leaning on irrational conclusions is another one of those things that both genders can do to make communication, ...impossible.


I did notice that you were from Europe

Ethnicity, not origin, ...never been there.

Either way, it wouldn't make any difference, it isn't the country of origin (or gender) of the person who posits an "opinion" that makes it valid/invalid, ...it's the reasoning (or lack thereof) supporting their conclusions.


When I ask her why she said the money he made was just to fabulous to walk away from!!!

You can't legislate people into honesty and non-douchbaggery. Sadly, douchbaggery is not yet illegal.


Again, this is anecdotal, if this is supposed to apply to "all women", ...epic fail.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 429
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 4:50:37 PM

You speak as if you have everything to teach and nothing to learn. Do you seriously believe that people do not try to sit down and talk about their problems? If only it were that easy. All too often a person has some issue or problem with the relationship, and the partner either dismisses it, minimizes it, or invalidates it in some way. OR, listens, promises to change and continues to engage in the problematic behaviour. If one carries on in such a manner, he/she has no business claiming that "the rug was pulled out from under him/her."

Maybe you misunderstood. I was not talking about sitting down to talk about trying to fix it but to end the relationship with both partners knowing it was happening.
Just because we don't see eye to eye on this it doesn't mean we can't learn from each other and even still disagree.
I have learned a great deal from this debate.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 430
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 7:09:28 PM
Yikes - I have a headache after trudging through all this divorce crap. Why are the extremes always brought into it?
Can't a girl just decide to stop seeing a guy, after he's gotten comfortable and complacent and started to take her for granted? I mean he's not going to change or get any better. It seems the minute a guy knows that I like him, and the chase is over in his mind, he begins to act like an azz, so I tell him goodbye. I think women are more apt to think about their future and not drift through life living day by day like men tend to do. There are no wedding bells until there is no doubt in my mind that he's the right one for me. I don't see the point of splitting hairs about it. And I've never taken so much as even a dollar from a man so what does money have to do with it?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 431
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 7:45:37 PM

You keep stating opinion but where is your evidence to back it up


I applaud you, for being the most hard headed, tunnel visioned person I have ever come across. The quote above, however, is exactly what you are doing, and what anyone could do. You have reached a conclusion in your own mind, and you use numbers as if they were evidence of that. If I believe that men are ineffective & lazy, guess what? The numbers work as proof of my opinion too! I can't believe you have put so much effort into saying so little, over & over again.

If we want the answer to this question, we'd have to poll women & put the numbers together. It really is that simple. Of course, some of them would be less than honest, and a margin of error would be taken into account. But that is the only way, statistically speaking, to make a valid argument with the numbers game.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 432
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 7:46:52 PM
In all this haze......which gender do you think is more likely to put themselves through a self-analysis to ensure a non-repeat performance before proceeding into another relationship? Who would be the first to admit fault if they only had to admit to themselves. Even upon self-professed admission........who is more likely to change?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 433
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 7:54:15 PM
You may unwillingly brought up an important point here. Human nature is not gender specific. Rare is the human who admits that the breakup was their fault, man or woman. As far as a "non repeat performance", it is true that old habits die hard, again not indicative of gender, but of humanity. The more mature, open minded individual is likely to attempt to change those things about them self that make them difficult to sustain a relationship with, I would imagine.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 434
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 8:00:55 PM

Maybe you misunderstood. I was not talking about sitting down to talk about trying to fix it but to end the relationship with both partners knowing it was happening.


MJ..your reasoning gives me a headache...and I'm not known as the most logical or rational poster on here...lol...

In my case ( as I can speak for no others)...he felt blindsided because he didn't take anything I said up until I asked him for the divorce seriously ( in fact, when I first asked, he thought I was joking...) ..the relationship ended when I asked for the divorce...there was no way to give any more warning than I already had...I was trying to fix it up until then..and I never threatened , because that wouldn't have been right...if he had been listening, or taken my concerns seriously, he should have known things were bad..in fact, since we were in marriage counseling ( which was not going well)..how much more warning did he need?

Look...there is no magic number that says because women file more they are more at fault...or , that more men are at fault either..each situation is different...and except in extreme cases, both people bear some responsibility for things going south...who decides to make the final break is not indicated by who files..many have pointed this out to you, and you just don't seem to get it...the person who files first can for many reasons..often they aren't even the one who wanted the divorce...or, they both want it and the one that files is the one with the atty..of funds to do so...your numbers don't indicate who's "at fault"..only who filed the papers first...there is no correlation..

I haven't talked this much about my divorce in over 15 years..lol..and I actually made my peace both with him and myself a very long time ago...I was only trying to give one female's point of view about why she initiated...( and actually didn't file first, oddly enough...lol)..and my ex would agree with me, that it was the best thing for both of us...so, who's "fault" it was is moot...

While I share your sadness at the apparent demise of marriage...I don't think either gender it entirely to blame..one way or the other...we both (genders) have our flaws, and our different ways of communicating and thought processing..I have long advocated trying to understand each other and working with that..and certainly I have since learned to communicate earlier, better and more directly whenever I can, and to discuss expectations early on..I have learned from this failure...

I would much prefer for everyone to get along...though I know it may be unrealistic...and I certainly am willing to listen to the male side of things, and even adjust to it if I can...it just appears on the forums like the same courtesy isn't returned...

And by the way..wasn't perfect...and made some mistakes...but , I didn't break any vows....
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 435
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 8:07:48 PM

In all this haze......which gender do you think is more likely to put themselves through a self-analysis to ensure a non-repeat performance before proceeding into another relationship?

No there's an interesting stat.

There is one gender that re-marries more often than the other, and sooner following a divorce, according to the stats anyway.

 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 436
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 8:33:47 PM
You're good, Alpha!

Can I use those statistics to show that men are needier & more stupid than women, or does it prove that they are more likely & quick to self analyze and change?

btw, how come some of you can post more than "two of ten"; is that because I'm a female?
Never mind that, found my answer!
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 437
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 9:51:55 PM

Can I use those statistics to show that men are needier & more stupid than women, or does it prove that they are more likely & quick to self analyze and change?


See, that's the funny thing about stats, you can make them do all kinds of things.

People may even agree with you, but they probably already did anyway


btw, how come some of you can post more than "two of ten"; is that because I'm a female?

Ahhh... see what happens when a "stat" is misinterpreted?

Never mind that, found my answer!

Sometimes the "it's not me, it's them" thing is just an illusion, well ...most of the time.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 438
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 10:43:43 PM

My "belief" isn't contingent on anecdotal experience (it's in spite of it). The fact is, I "let go" of past bad experiences with women in order to let any potential S.O. define herself as an individual, ...not a statistic, not a blanket gender generality. This is the opposite of "bias confirmation".


Very well put, Alpha. MJ, you seem to be hanging onto a lot of "stuff", spouting all these statistics and crap is fine, but it ignores the fact that everyone is a *unique* individual. If one doesn't communicate (which includes *listening*) as per emmmjay's comment:


Do you seriously believe that people do not try to sit down and talk about their problems? If only it were that easy. All too often a person has some issue or problem with the relationship, and the partner either dismisses it, minimizes it, or invalidates it in some way. OR, listens, promises to change and continues to engage in the problematic behaviour. If one carries on in such a manner, he/she has no business claiming that "the rug was pulled out from under him/her."


How can the "rug be pulled out" from under them? You try to rationalize this with:


I was not talking about sitting down to talk about trying to fix it but to end the relationship with both partners knowing it was happening.


If partner#1 (the one that is *trying* to communicate) tries long enough, how much is "enough"? Shouldn't partner#2 (the one dismissing, minimizing, invalidating, promising to change and yet not, etc) already *know* why its ending, when partner#1 decides its not working and ends it? How is that "pulling the rug" from under them? Partner#1 has been standing on the rug the whole time, partner#2 is standing on rug claiming there is no rug, its hardwood floors (oblivious to the rug).

I've *met* (in person) two of the ladies on here - and I'll tell you that from knowing them both of them put up with a lot in their marriages before deciding it was over. Most people realize that the "50/50" thing in a marriage isn't "realistically 24/7" - there are always times (one person getting sick, etc) where things will be lopsided one way or the other, but if you love them you stick with it. But at some point, if its *always* lopsided, it isn't your ideal of:


Real love is about giving of your self putting your partners feelings ahead of your own not counting the cost because you know they are doing the same for you!!!


Its you putting yourself out, and knowing they are *not* doing the same for you. You talk, they ignore, dismiss, whatever, you talk, they ignore... at some point, no matter how much you express your feelings you know its not working. This isn't pulling the rug out from under them with no warning - that's telling them time and time again you want to move the rug, until you finally grab it and yank it with them on it. They haven't listened, they refuse to listen... (and generally they're so oblivious that it isn't *until* you pull the rug they suddenly "hear" what you've said all along - too late).

If you want to go the route of "80% of the time women initiate the breakup" - maybe the "conclusion" we should bring away from that is that at least 30% of men need to learn to listen more?
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 439
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/27/2010 11:11:21 PM
Thirty per cent? Where did that number come from? I'm crap at maths, but even I know this statement is on the outer rim of fluff.


Oh c'mon Dawn, I said "at least" 30% ... only because that would make it 50% women initiate and 50% men (50/50, equality remember? ). If MJ is gonna pop up with statistics, I'm just trying to "even things out". We all know 90% of statistics are 70% made up 60% of the time to sway the opinions of 80% of the people towards your viewpoint that only 10% of people really believe... :blah: (yup, I made all that up).
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 440
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/28/2010 7:37:08 AM
My anecdote: I decided to end things; a couple of years later my ex filed for divorce. I ended things because we were both unhappy - he was so unhappy, he kept falling in love with my girlfriends - left with one of them, but came back almost immediately. I was unhappy because he had no concept of doing anything around the house or foreplay. We were both young when we got married, both of us with our heads in the clouds, so I don't blame him or me so much anymore.

I think who files for divorce is pretty meaningless when it comes to relationship ending: Sandra Bullock filed this morning, but who ended that relationship?

I do agree that more women end long term relationships than men do. A good question is "why". A lot of men put it down to financials: sort of true, since now women do not need to stay with a man in order to put food on the table. Despite what men like to tell themselves, alimony and child support aren't the mother-lode that drives women to leave. Alimony is less and less available (I don't even know if a person in Canada could even get it as a matter of course) and child support is iffy. Even if the non-custodial parent pays it, any custodial parent knows it hardly covers half the expenses of raising a child. (Please note the of lack of gender-specific use of "parent"; we all know that both men and women can be deadbeat parents). Of course for couples who have millions or billions of dollars, things are different, but most of us aren't in that bracket.

Men do like to bring everything down to money, though: they claim women only are interested in men with money, that women leave for richer men, that women leave because they can take his money with them. For most women, none of the above is enough reason to make them give up on a *good* relationship - as a matter of fact, they are more likely to leave because they don't need his - or any man's - money in order to survive (yes, there are exceptions, just as there are men who marry/leave for financial gain).

It seems to me if men quit blinding themselves with the "money" motivation for women's actions, they'd start to realize that women want more from them than just money. And, maybe they'd start thinking about what they - as people - provide to the relationship, instead of basing so much on what they - as wallets - provide to the relationship.

Men will stay in relationships in which they aren't particularly happy, I've no idea why - my ex certainly would have. Many men use "I'm unhappy in my relationship" as an excuse for cheating - I don't understand why they don't leave. I used to ask men if they'd ever ended a relationship; if they said no, I'd wonder if they'd have the ability to recognize and talk about relationship problems, or if they'd just remain in a bad relationship without saying anything until the woman ended it. If they said they had, I would think that this was a man who had some clue about what he wanted or needed in a relationship, that wouldn't accept the status-quo as "unhappy". Wasn't always right, of course, but for me a man's ability to recognize and end a bad relationship - even a marriage - was a point in their favor.

Why is it so important for some men that anyone, male or female, remain in relationships and marriages in which there's no emotional intimacy, sex or fun? What's the point of spending 10, 20, 30 or 40 years in a non-relationship?
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 441
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/28/2010 10:21:19 AM

I really cannot speak to the fact that one sex is "weaker" or not. Frankly; I believe both sexes are weaker without each other than with each other.


Agreed. I agree with a lot of your post. But that doesn't change how things really are today.


To me and many men, woman now really do hold a majority of the cards in terms of a realtionship and the extended family power. Men are also somewhat independent socially in terms of close relationships with friends circles. Woman seem to need a bond with their female friends, that may allow them the network of support that build capacity in their lives. I think that is great. I wish men could as easily build those networks.


Agreed. This explains why men seek women out more than the other way around (in addition to other reasons lol). But I truly believe that men WOULD hold the cards if they STOPPED "chasing" women. It won't happen, but as someone who "chases" men, I would truly find it interesting were it to happen.


My father use to say women have not been in the work force really that long. And even though we like/need the opposite sex in the workforce, we wonder if they really know what to do with it sometime.


I would change that to read: we wonder if WE (both men and women) really know what to do with it sometime. I'm far from a career woman and was actually ready and prepared to be a stay at home mom when I was 24; things didn't work out that way though.


Men on the other hand do not "whine", complain as openly to such work related issues.

Men have a work history and are generally task oriented. They really do not see the need /waste in whining about, talking it out, or try to justifying the emotional issues to be "right", both emotionally and literally.

It seems this may have some truth in terms of why women need to get it out, talk it out or "initiate the discussion" surronding not only breakups., but pretty much anything that they need to resolve internally.


Agreed. I find women much more complicated than men. I find men are usually more easy-going than women. Women have a lot of hormones floating around that make us weird. And please do NOT disagree with that. I can't stand it when men assume there is no PMS, but when she is pregnant her weird behaviour is allowed. Same damn hormones buddy. That said,

Your comment above is here to stay - the economy will never allow for a return to when women COULD stay at home; so honestly people need to start adjusting and suck it up.


And don't get me wrong I love women, they are just at times too insecure or focused within a relationship.


So, don't you think understanding this should make you more aware?

mjyawn - your list was lovely, but you forgot the one about the man actually listening to her and bringing up his issues and not hiding them away because he does not wish to rock the boat. When you have 4 kids running around, a lot of your examples go out the window btw, my parents were often too damn tired to worry about lingerie. When you have lost a child and your husband is going through a depression and another child has been diagnosed with a chronic illness - those are tough times and I have yet to meet a man who would stick by me through half of that. My mother stayed through all that. I had excellent examples of through thick and thin.

If you have read the thread, you'll note that women wanting men to stop and listen seems to be really important. I talk about certain things that happen to me daily because of my health issue. Most men can't handle that talk (I can't wait for those men to get sick in later years). Why in hell would I marry or be with someone whom I couldn't talk to about this?! I'm better off staying single and having friends who WILL listen.

So next time you men complain to your woman about something she is talking about, think about it. Do you want her talking to or with you or dumping your azz and going and talking with her friends? Just an example, but I guess it could happen......

I'm willing to own up to women initiating breakups and divorce more than men and I really don't care much about stats because in the end it comes down to the two individuals involved.

As for why men stay in relationships they are treated badly? I'm not sure, but I see men doing it all the time and shake my head. They like the security of the relationship? I think it comes down to the emotional courage. Women seem to be stronger emotionally than men.
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 442
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/28/2010 11:04:28 AM

As for why men stay in relationships they are treated badly? I'm not sure, but I see men doing it all the time and shake my head. They like the security of the relationship?


Its a version of the Stockholm syndrome.
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 443
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/28/2010 6:56:29 PM
So I missed 2 days of the same ol, same ol. With the addition of some new posters and additional garbage to the thread. MJ, your a better man than me. Thank God the booze flowed down here in NOLA. In fact going out tonight, tomorrow last day, have to head back up to Hotlanta, female friend in trouble, said I'd lend a hand with doctor refferal.

So let's see what else was added away from same ol. Kudo's to Zangie, not to worry, I understood. The rest of the female posse, with new riders along, have continued to hammer the usual propaganda.

One wants to tell us all what she thinks of us. Please do, we're all ears! LOL

Another gives the tale of a guy forcing a heartfelt conversation. Yeah, that'll happen! What'd he use, duct tape? Most women I've seen walk away, give you the stare, or the ever pleasant "FINE!" then walk away, when THEY don't want to talk. So I'll attribute that one to lotto, got that 1 in 10 million woman.

More about the men don't listen, which I pointed out first, but as part of COMMUNICATION, not a lecture how life should be according to "her". More misinformation about deflection, the "man's fault", a few jibes at the boys, and MJ dogged soldiering on.

Jinx, while I admire your zeal, and yes we were both sucked into this, you in response to me, me actually thinking women (most) would be honest. It's all the same sh1t! I could rebutt your points, why bother, you and I may arrive at some conclusions, the rest would be lost on the gender impaired.

So same arguments "you guys did this", "you guys didn't do that", "you guys never listen", funny some of us did, some didn't, some learned, some never will. Makes no difference.

ALL the women blew by my "why get married at all" if we're so bad, so horrible? Abolish marriage, ahhh yes, forgot many of those posting have LTR and Mr. Right in their profile, guess you can't be that two faced, ....well maybe you can, nobody reads the forums anyway.

Some points I take exception to: that 50% divorce rate per year. I believe it is much higher, cummulatively. If 100 marry and we only have 50 divorces, that's one thing, what about the percentage next year that includes this years marriages?

If 70% of women initiate the divorce, and all the ladies want to give you is the same blah, blah, blah, why listen. THEY ARE LYING THROUGH THEIR AZZES. It's what they do, have done, will do for as long as it lasts. Every once in awhile 1 admits how they plan it in advance, some even admit we get short end in divorce court. But the sisterhood closes ranks and then puts up 4 or7 posts to refute it or obfiscate the point.

A short answer, truly the answer. If you can find a good, honest woman, with an open heart, who will commincate with you, LIVE WITH HER, if things don't change in 5 years, consider marriage. Un;ess we get lucky and they abolish it.

The rest, well you read all the threads just as I do, so you see where men excel in ending relationships. Date them, when they get weird, possessive, talk marriage, KICK THEM TO THE CURB, and find another. Just like they say about men, another will be along in 10 minutes. DO NOT commit your feelings, they can't be honest, so they don't deserve that.

Oh and ladies, based on the last ten pages, YOUR RIGHT, I don't want to know what you think, it's all lies anyway. In the words of Rhett "Frankly my darling, I don't give a damn!"

Have great night.

PS Oh I had softened my marriage disclaimer on my profile, based on this thread alone. I have reframed it as it should be for any sane man.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 444
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/28/2010 7:23:47 PM
A simple answer would be: whoever initiates isn't happy...

And since everyone has a different definition of what makes them "happy"..and there appears to be some significant gender differences...

Why I know if I ever considered getting married again...we would talk about what "happy" means among other expectations..

I don't believe all men are alike, or all men are bad...but, I can honestly say that I personally haven't been romantically involved with one who "got" me emotionally at all...most saw it as a BIG negative, and many also saw it as weakness...that's frustrating...especially because I know I'm not weak (except physically..I have no physical strength to speak of...) by any definition..I guess what would be nice is to have some men see it as a positive in some sense...

I guess that would be the ONE thing I would really like to have....and if I found it...my reservations about marriage would probably go up in smoke...

BTW...I've talked to the domestic lawyers at my firm about this discussion...they have their own opinions based on their experiences with clients...and they say that regardless of who initiated..the angrier one is the one who controls the process...
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 445
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/28/2010 9:02:08 PM
"whoever initiates isn't happy"

I totally agree with this statement, and 70% of the time it's women! So why argue, they know their right, so "no big thang!"

What grade are you in, anyway?"

The prime choice grade, which means I don't have to settle for all the damged biotches on this thread!! Sinple huh?

As to the last post before me, let's see "she" wanted alimony after 6 months, sounds reasonable to me, don't all you shrews agree? As to the physician, depending on the length of marriage, did he take care of home and kids? Was it longer than 7 years, why shouldn't she pay? Oh I forgot, yeah she's a woman, just like dates and dinners, she should never pay! As for the locale of the divorce, I'm sure the witch wanted the state that would have sucked him dry.

Next questions?
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 446
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/28/2010 9:37:25 PM
Whatever the percentage of couples married, cohabitating or otherwise, in all those LTR's, especailly marriages 70% of women initiate the final action.

So if you found out posting in the forums caused cancer 70% of the time, a lot less people would post! Sure would make Markus happy! LOL

If 48% of people don't marry now, FABULOUS, GREAT, WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC!!!!!! Means people are learning it doesn't work, WOMEN won't let it!

ABOLISH MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and have someone send an email to all those women, looking for Mr. Right for a future marriage on their profile, tell then, nearlt half don't marry anymore, and since they end it 70% of the time, men aren't so hot on it either, so maybe hard to find.

Oh and lest we forget, all those dad, accused of being deadbeats, pay 80% of the time. Women who make CS payments, barely make it to 40%, so who's the REAL deadbeat?
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 447
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/29/2010 12:56:08 AM
In this thread I have only been able to share my own experience. Does this mean I believe all men are awful? Good gawd, no. Hell, I'm the mother of a son.

For myself, I don't believe marriage would not be a good thing. Why? Because I have a faulty picker and other flaws that would not be fair to inflict on another person. Does that mean that I don't believe in marriage? Nope, because I do. I want to believe and hope that men and women will learn to respect each other and communicate and make marriage work. Call me a dreamer. I've been called worse.

This thread is so full of pain, anger, finger pointing and pride that it looks as though most people are refusing to listen to each other.

Maybe I'm not a dreamer - just nuts.
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 448
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/29/2010 3:04:38 AM
If these figures are true, and if I wanted to ruffle some feathers....I might say that it goes to show you, no matter if even the man is not at fault...women will twist things around so that it appears it is his fault, the divorce courts are full of this kind of stuff....lol.

Do, I believe this? not saying, but lets see if this starts WWlll......
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 449
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/29/2010 4:25:08 AM

I guess it's obvious I have little patience or sympathy, because I think anyone who gets married at all is a moron, and anyone who gets married without an iron-clad prenup is a moron to the nth degree. But that's just me.

No, it's not just you. Myself and a few of my friends would agree with you.

Are we going to continue discussing just marriage or are ordinary everyday relationships part of this too?
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 450
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/29/2010 7:10:18 AM

Are we going to continue discussing just marriage or are ordinary everyday relationships part of this too?


Obviously the former, WIP, because there's a lot of people (men *and* women) here who are still carrying around a complete set of Sampsonite "baggage" over their divorces.
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