Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 bobbajobba
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 26
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Page 2 of 54    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Hi revcon, speaking of "false hoods"...
u got one sweet toupee, dude of dudes. I've seen video of that thing on Animal Planet, the same innovative tonsorial concept has helped Bigfoot evade the authorities for years. I think we know your record. Whoever told you that combovers were uncool was nothing but a lowdown yankee liar.
May the fleas of a thousand camels or your last gf, whichever came last, infest that fuzzy thing (my money's on the camels)
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 27
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:34:50 AM
I can only use my own experience. I've got two divorces behind me and, by golly, I filed for both of them.

My first husband was content to stay in the marriage because he still behaved footloose and fancy free - had himself a wife and women that threw themselves at him. When I left he was shocked, but the reality was that it wasn't a real marriage because it takes two people working together to have a marriage.

The second husband was a bit different, but he still did whatever he wanted to. We started fighting about his drinking. Somehow he felt I should be fine with him go out and driving home wasted. Finally one day he came to me and threatened that if I could not accept that he wasn't going to stop he was going to leave I responded with "You have one week to find another place."

So yeah I was the one that filed, but neither of them was really into being married.
 CrimsonRealityXRS
Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 28
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:45:28 AM
They don't, that's just your opinion/personal experience. In my experince, it has usually been the guy to initiate the breakup, but that's just me. I'm sure that if you added in everyone else's experiences, it comes out pretty close to even.
 bobbajobba
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 29
I've got two divorces behind me and, by golly, I filed for both of them.
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:07:28 AM

Now that's an interesting point, also. Why do women, who choose the man,
choose them so badly and then say men are to blame? It might seem women have never had more choice, and made it more badly from what u are saying.
I would hate to think this makes Dr. Laura is right that women need arranged marriages? I better head for the bomb shelter right now.
 curiousaboutu77
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 30
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:46:41 AM
Im amazed at how many times you will see a woman go from one man to the next but that relationship doesn't last long either because the woman hasn't resolved the last relationship and hasn't been ready. I find that it is a bad move from observing these things.
 Snotsure
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 31
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:18:29 AM

It is true more men that women will be the cause which is why women tend to initiate the break up alot of the time. I was stating that when women cheat it tends to be for a different reason other than sex.Not all i must add there some women that are just selfish and have hurt men just as much.. I know a few men whose wives have cheated and they divorced them, but most i know its the other way around..


Wow

Thanks for clearing that up for us men. You know, us men who cause all the worlds problems...
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 32
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:43:06 AM

3) men refuse, or are unable, to see the red lights she is flashing months in advance, leaving her to be the one to finally say "bye"?


BINGO!
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 33
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:18:22 AM
In my opinion it's mostly about the economics.

I think that 80% stat is bullshit just to throw that out of the way. That being said i feel most divorces are initiated by women because men are afraid of the financial and familial consequences of divorce. Statistically men have a very slim chance of keeping their children and will end up losing half of the joint assets, this isn't an obvious deturrent to a man filing for divorce?

When your choice is keep all your stuff, see your children and not lose money in alimony or child support and deal with a woman that you no longer love,

OR

Lose half your stuff (assuming you have a good lawyer), keep partial custody of your kids and see them on weekends, and be single.

Which would you choose?

Not to mention there IS an emotional assumption for women. If they leave their husbands he was lacking, if he leaves her it's because "he wants a younger woman", or "having a midlife crisis" or something of that nature.

Hell even how there's this bullshit belief that women cheat because men don't "meet their emotional needs" and that men cheat because they are just sexual animals that can't keep it in their pants is a very base example of this emotional predisposition.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 34
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:19:18 AM
Interesting thought that some men think that women initiate a split because it's so easy for them to just hop from one guy to the next. Truth be told, a break up is "generally" difficult for both parties involved and the last thing most people are even thinking of is hopping into the next relationship. The only time that's even a thought in a person's head is if they're leaving the relationship because they already have someone lined up, ie. cheating already or just stopping short of it and then actively pursuing the object of their affection once split. To say that women have it so much easier is scewed thinking in order to justify a whining mentality.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 35
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:29:22 AM

I think that 80% stat is bullshit just to throw that out of the way. That being said i feel most divorces are initiated by women because men are afraid of the financial and familial consequences of divorce. Statistically men have a very slim chance of keeping their children and will end up losing half of the joint assets, this isn't an obvious deturrent to a man filing for divorce?

When your choice is keep all your stuff, see your children and not lose money in alimony or child support and deal with a woman that you no longer love,

That sums it up quite nicely. There was another thread a while back that noted that divorce is much lower in places where shared custody is more the norm.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 36
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:34:44 AM
Doesn't cheating ,require , ... umm , ANOTHER WOMAN ??

Yes, but a good portion of the time, those women cheating with these married men are SINGLE. They aren't married women cheating on their husbands.

There are lots of websites on the internet dedicated to the "Other Woman" and they include message boards where they can 'support' each other in their affairs.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 37
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:40:47 AM
Ooops - double post.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 38
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:57:09 AM

Not to mention there IS an emotional assumption for women. If they leave their husbands he was lacking, if he leaves her it's because "he wants a younger woman", or "having a midlife crisis" or something of that nature.

The way I've heard it is if the guy dumps her, it just goes to show what a cad he was; if she dumps him, it just goes to show what a jerk he was.

Obviously there are many more jerks than cads these days, though it seems you have to be one or the other to qualify for marriage.
 msmitzi
Joined: 1/6/2009
Msg: 39
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:07:01 AM
A woman will initiate a breakup more often, primarily because a man has already emotionally "checked out" of a relationship. But the man doesn't want to be the "bad guy" - the one to end the relationship. So a man will withdraw emotionally forcing the woman to be the one to actually end the relationship.
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 40
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:14:36 PM

Therefore, if a married person is having an affair with a single person, only one of em is cheating.


Ohhh I see, so like Monica Lewinsky and Gennifer Flowers and all those women who know someone famous is married have no culpability or responsibility in not cheating?

So much for those "Thou shalt not commit" commandments usually preached to us by primarily Female Sunday school teachers.

You have a ring on your finger or know the other person is cheating...Your cheating too.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 41
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:18:27 PM

A man can readily forgive a cheating wife than she would forgive him if he cheated


Is that before or after he shoots the two of them????
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 42
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:22:57 PM

You have a ring on your finger or know the other person is cheating...Your cheating too.

I agree with this and have always been astounded to learn some people think they are "off the hook" if they aren't in a relationship, even if the other is.

LOL, my ex expressed relief to me when we broke up because "now I'm not cheating". umm, yeah, and I'm sure her husband would be happy to hear you're not cheating with his wife when he finds out about your affair.
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 43
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:26:52 PM
Colonel: Conversely, men just want sex with a woman but don't want to put in the effort to actually 'love' her. (think of porn magazines). Relationships between men and women don't work because men are innately lazy. Forgive us for not finding the majority of you sexy while you sit on your easy chairs and fart all night. LOL
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 44
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:28:43 PM
Devils: However, if you seriously read the bible, most of the lines are started with a warning to 'men'. It's like the book is admonishing you idiots to get your act together throughout the entire Bible.
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 45
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:31:47 PM
Men are passive aggressive toward women. They set up unsatisfactory situations because they don't have the backbone to end it and look like 'the bad guy'. So they leave it up to the woman to break things off.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 46
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:32:40 PM

You have a ring on your finger or know the other person is cheating...Your cheating too.


Yup...also falls into the cheater's mentality of "I did not have sex with that woman" because of the "type" of sex it was. There's no end of excuses and rationale used by cheaters, the married party or not. I knew a guy who would meet women from online while he was still married, living in the same house with his wife, so not even close to being separated, but his rationale was that he was "divorced in his heart".....what heart?? His wife had no idea he was even wanting to separate, never mind wanting to divorce. Dumb a$$es!
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 47
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:49:04 PM

Colonel: Conversely, men just want sex with a woman but don't want to put in the effort to actually 'love' her. (think of porn magazines).

It doesn't exactly say very much for the lovability of women these days that men prefer porn, as bad as it is, to the real thing.


Relationships between men and women don't work because men are innately lazy. Forgive us for not finding the majority of you sexy while you sit on your easy chairs and fart all night. LOL

You're right. That's why the first recorded case of domestic abuse occurred when a prehistoric man was forced by his 'significant other' from the safety of their cave with the command: 'Get out there and kill something to eat, and don't come back empty-handed!'

Then, after he left, she turned on the TV and sat on her behind watching women's programming for fifteen hours straight telling her what lazy bums men are.
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 48
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:24:58 PM
HAHAHAHAHA! What a bunch of B.S. this thread has become. All the so called"stats." Talk about initiating a battle between the sexes. Defenders to your corners! Give me a friggin break! This thread should have been nixed a long time ago HAHAHAHAHA!
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 49
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:39:45 PM

I've noticed that the whole "cheating" thing becomes a false, but commonly acknowledged and accepted Moral high ground....especially for women. Why is that??? I'll give my opinion...

I cheated on my wife...like a god damned fiend.

Ummmm...


In short, I honestly believe that there are as many men being manipulated within a marriage through sex, as there are women being abused. Neither side is right.

Ummm...define manipulated? While I agree on the face of it that neither is "right", ummmm...knocking someone's teeth out versus saying if you take the garbage out I'll **** you. Really? You don't see a difference, there?


I know many married men who have been cut off sexually in a conscious effort to trap him into either leaving on his own accord
Ummmmmm....so, you're saying you DO NOT agree with the OP, then? the 80% of the time women leave thing?


The common media stereotype of women being victims instead or more truthful portrayals of irrational, violent, evil, or out of control
Ummmm...."common MEDIA stereotype"? "More truthful potrayals", umm, where? Not the media, I guess??


I recently had a friend commit suicide because of the abuse he had to secretly endure at the hand of his ex-wife.

Ummmm.....how did you come to know of it, if it was "secret" abuse?


Personally I think men tend not to want divorce for more honorable (perhaps misguided) ideals of honor, to protect kids, or have affairs because trying to find some sanctuary from their pains is required in order to live day by day.

Ummmm...trying to spin adultery as "honorable" is quite the feat. Fail. (Hey, wait, this is what a lot of women say, too--equally failing! Cheaters never prosper!!)


The difference is we [men] speak up to change things.

Ummm...I'm gonna assume you mean speak up in the Forums, not the relationship.


If you want to vent then go ahead, but dam well realize it happens on both sides of the fence.

Ummmm...you mean venting?


I sacrificed a lot to try to salvage my marriage, as I do not believe in divorce

Ummm....actually, I refuse to acknowledge that by this:

I cheated on my wife...like a god damned fiend.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 50
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:41:48 PM
...and the bashing continues in yet another thread...

I keep seeing post after post telling horror stories of the wrongs done to each gender by the other gender. The problem is that many don't learn that it's not the gender who is the problem but it's the individual who's the problem. Hate the opposite gender all you like and paint them all with the same brush....guess what?...with that mindset, you're bound to never find any worthwhile relationship because you'll already have your minds made up ahead of time that your opposing gender is some form of scum of the earth. I've never seen so many people either need a smack up side the head to knock the stupid out or who need some kind of cognitive behaviour therapy to get over their way of thinking caused by past hurts. It makes some attractive individuals look decidedly ugly.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?