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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?      Home login  
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 DragNFlyBuzzez
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 551
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Page 23 of 54    (14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54)
popcorn Here......get your popcorn here!................full moom and a thread full of JADED people.........no wonder the forums are hidden.

every situation is unique to the couple>>>>>> note that two people that were married and brought children into this world.

I know many men that stayed in a marriage for sake of kids and did not get laid or cheat.

It takes two to fight in a relationship, its 50% each side is to blame, If either side believes its ALL the others fault, then they, both people are doomed to be alone because it appears that this group in this thread are really jaded against the other species.

I wish some type of peace to you all, because it looks like karma has come around to most of you

Popcorn here.........get your popcorn here
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 552
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 6:50:51 AM

Nice try. But if you believe that then can we not deduce that some women enjoy the life of being a prostitute? Furthermore you just do not end up on a call girl blackbook without being recruited. Just like you don't end up a made member in the Mafia or on the East Side Latin Kings without being recruited. I have read numerous stories even on here of women that liked being high priced call girls.


I will defer to your seemingly endless knowledge and experience with prostitutes. I cannot claim to compete with what appears to be such a substantial amount of first hand knowledge.


You seemed to have a problem with men going overseas to procreate but nothing with a woman going overseas to get the child of her choice.


I never said I have a problem with this, I only said that men who would choose to spawn their own seed in a foreign country rather than adopt, were likely doing so based on ego driven desires.

For the record....Sandra Bullock's son was born in New Orleans.

....now back to the topic.....

I dont believe men or women should stay in a any relationship that is no longer functional. We should all seek relationships than inspire us and allow us to be our best. To do this, one has to let go of the past, live in the moment and live a life based on trust, compassion and mutual understanding. Not a lot of people are prepared or willing to do this.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 553
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 7:13:34 AM
I am always amazed how women are alway or usually perceived as innocent or victims and never at fault for their own decisions and it is always some mans problem or doing.


Not all of us think that. Some of us have experienced nothing but kindness from men and the first unkindness from women.


When men realize they control a hell of a lot more then they are given credit for this endless charade will come to a screeching halt.


I'm sure some men been saying that for years. Man's weakness is woman and sex. Women have their own weaknesses. I've seen many a good man fall for a crappy woman simply because she gave him what he needed to feel like a man, but then ate up his wallet in the meantime. I await the day when men do WAKE up. It sure will be interesting.

And can we please stop with the celebrities?! I hate comparisons to them because they are not living by the same rules most of us live by.

What kind of drivel is this about TV shows being representative of the real world?! Holy crap. TV is not real - stop living in fantasy land. And, no I do not watch one single talk show like Oprah. TV is for entertainment.

Cheaper to pray and keep her? What kind of logic is that? The longer you wait, the more she can suck out of you right? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Someone in this thread made the comment about men not having the same social world as women do. Basically if a woman divorces, she has friends to rely on whereas a man does not really have anyone. Does it now come down to courage?
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 554
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 8:21:09 AM

Most services women provide can be rendered for about $7.75 an hour.


At least at $7.75 an hour a woman would have something to show for the time involved in doing domestic labor..........hell she might even get a "Thank You" every once in a while, without being expected to provide sex on demand and listen to the rantings of a lunatic.

As far as hiring a chef for $7.75 an hour, good luck with that!!
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 555
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 8:37:24 AM
popcorn Here......get your popcorn here!................full moom and a thread full of JADED people.........no wonder the forums are hidden.


Butter? :D

Good point on the hidden part! I'm still not convinced about karma, I have yet to see it working and honestly when it did I think it went too far.


I know many men that stayed in a marriage for sake of kids and did not get laid or cheat.


And I know women who have done the same. And while I did not have kids, I stayed in a sexless relationship and did not cheat - but he did. There are men and women who stay in relationships because we were taught loyalty (even though it is detrimental to us!)


"you can't argue/reason with an emotional conviction".


That resonates with me simply because on these forums I like to discuss the human side and I find stats take away from the emotional part of the discussion. I've changed the way I've thought about a lot of things about relationships because of these forums and really hearing what the men are saying on here about some things.


If they're initiating a breakup FROM YOU 80% of the time, then you, yourself, have problem.


Good point to ponder on. Of course some people already know this and strive to work on this day to day.
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 556
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 8:42:44 AM

I will defer to your seemingly endless knowledge and experience with prostitutes. I cannot claim to compete with what appears to be such a substantial amount of first hand knowledge.


All one has to do is work in counseling, or take a few good psychology courses or have lived overseas or worked vice to understand this. Draw your own conclusions. There are also a lot of good television shows that try to get to the root cause of why people do such things. Do I understand it completely? No. I also don't understand why people do such things which they know are not good for them either whether it be smoking, riding without a helmet or seatbelt, over use of alcohol, or anything.


I only said that men who would choose to spawn their own seed in a foreign country rather than adopt, were likely doing so based on ego driven desires.
Once again the bad man boogaloo. Why can't it be economical or financial? Why does there have to be a negative connotation to it?

Wrong Sandra however I just as easily could have said Rosie or Bette or Diane or Calista does the name really matter all that much except that it is popular and in the news a lot lately?
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 557
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 8:57:15 AM

As far as hiring a chef for $7.75 an hour, good luck with that!!


Not a problem. We have a service that for $300 will make you 30 days worth of meals, freeze them, label them and store them in your freezer by a Licensed Chef.

Now if we take that men can just as easily stop by Dominoes, KFC, Taco Bell and provide for the occassional meal. Now lets break down just that evening meal which there are 30 x 3 or 4 hours in a month. That equates to 120 manhours. $300/120 hours= $2.50 per meal hour. Don't you just love the outsourcing concept. About one third the cost of minimum wage. Nutritious, cheap and certainly more economical. Plus you don't have to put up with the latest Oprah, The View, Lifetime rantings and when you do file for divorce she will have actually been working and you will get to take half her stuff. Then more men will maybe file first.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 558
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 9:08:49 AM
Devilsfan - SO GO FOR IT and stop bugging us women then.

Honestly, what do you think you are gaining by posting this? You are simply telling us that you don't need us.

I've never been a woman who says that I don't need men. I'm small and there are certain things I cannot do so yes a man can do it better. BUT, in a relationship sense, do I need a man? Not necessarily, but I think there are some definite benefits with being with someone, most of us are actually health related when it is a good relationship. There are different levels of needs.

I think more men than women need sex as it is natural plus men have less social avenues than women do - so you NEED us for that more than we do you, thus you will always seek us out more than we seek you out.

Why do people persist with these arguments. What's so wrong with needing someone in a non-desperate kind of way? As maffers said, men like to fix things, so a woman asking a man to help her with fixing something as mundance as a leaky faucet or her broken computer makes him feel good. I really don't see what the big deal is letting him do that. I don't have to act like some dewy-eyed female to do that either. Sure, I try to do it myself, but if I end up at a road-block, why not ask someone to help? Whether it's a man or a woman doesn't really matter.

The three hardest things to say: I love you, help me and I'm sorry - I've had the courage to do all three where I hadn't been able to before. Once you've been through enough crap where you had to be brave; attempting those isn't so hard but it still takes a leap and a deep breath!


umm...ever heard of 2 tvs?? most people i know own more than one.


I think that's sad actually. I fondly remember the days when the whole family would watch together. My brother and his wife and daughter still practice that. It's nice seeing them all together in the living room sitting down for a movie rather than off away in their own rooms.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 559
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 9:09:24 AM
.... Wrong Sandra however I just as easily could have said Rosie or Bette or Diane or Calista does the name really matter all that much except that it is popular and in the news a lot lately?


Add Bob Hope, Mia Farrow and Julie Andrews to your list. Adoption isnt something new. If celebrities have popularized adoption and if it has had a domino effect of having "regular" people reach out to adopt, all good I say. Children are saved. Surely you are not critical of this celebrity mimickry.... at least has a positive result. And again. where does it matter where they innocents originate from. Some find adoption in foreign countries to be faster and less expensive. Maybe that is what they can afford to do.


There are men and women who stay in relationships because we were taught loyalty


They should have been taught to be loyal to themselves and their values first, instead of putting up with something less than they deserve.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 560
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 9:12:48 AM
^^^I definitely agree about what you said about loyalty and you should have copied the rest of my quote because I did say "to the detriment" of ourselves.

That was what I did years ago, and I learned and now won't even get into a serious relationship without knowing certain things. However, I know that I would be the type to try to work it out - which I did but he could not communicate openly with me about our sex life so it never would have worked.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 561
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 9:28:58 AM

BTW....in order for you to “settle” for any damaged biotch on this thread, one of them would have to have offered to have you. Any takers from THIS thread?


Thanks for pointing that out. I keep saying this to them - someone is raising these people and raising children who will become just like all the biotches they talk about. I keep inviting them to have their mom or their daughters or potential dates read what they write. How many would be proud of what they have written?


They do NOT hate men, or think they are all worthless ***holes; they just don't see living with a man full time as the ultimate goal of their existence.


I don't think a lot of men understand this about women today.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 562
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 9:34:51 AM
^^^I agree. In previous generations....the right man used to be the woman's goal. Now her goal is a full life, of which a man can share and be a vital part. Much as it has been for men these thousands of years.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 563
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 9:38:29 AM


They do NOT hate men, or think they are all worthless ***holes; they just don't see living with a man full time as the ultimate goal of their existence.

I don't think a lot of men understand this about women today.
I think a lot do understand this, I'm just not sure they can believe it. And since they have no other thing to throw at women to get back at them for (what they percieve is) a lack of power over things these days, they just revert to the old "nyah nyah - we're more than happy alone" thing. Which would be fine if their actions didn't contadict that.

I've had more than one man tell me that I should hate being single and since I'm a woman it's in my nature to have to be with someone. I find it amusing, since that's not true - I assume it's more for their sake than mine that they have to make a point on it.

And I agree that cats gets used a lot in reference to women, especially single ones. I never got the connection. I know a lot of single men and couples married and cohabitating who also like and have cats in the house, so it makes no sense. Also, cats are easier to keep as pets as they basically take care of themselves outside of being fed and maybe a litterbox. Dogs need way more time and attention - so single women liking cats even it if were true still doesn't make sense to the argument that women need to take care of things and have companionship. Most cats go off and do their own thing and leave you alone (which ain't a bad thing, honestly).
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 564
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 10:00:23 AM

Now lets break down just that evening meal which there are 30 x 3 or 4 hours in a month. That equates to 120 manhours. $300/120 hours= $2.50 per meal hour. Don't you just love the outsourcing concept. About one third the cost of minimum wage. Nutritious, cheap and certainly more economical.


Hmm, maybe your employer should reduce your hourly rate to $2.50 per hour, it would be cheaper and certainly more economical for the rest of us as a society as well.

Passed by Congress on January 31, 1865, and ratified on December 6, 1865, the 13th amendment abolished slavery in the United States and provides that "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."..................after slavery being abolished, many women still lived in slavery under the guise of "marriage." Oh, and let's not forget that she had to be a virgin to qualify and she got to wear a lily white dress for a few hours before embarking on her life of domestic and sexual slavery.

I agree..........marriage should have been abolished in 1865 as well.
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 565
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 10:07:10 AM

Honestly, what do you think you are gaining by posting this? You are simply telling us that you don't need us.

Truthfully we don't I will refresh your memory the question is "how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? "

Which in the modern english speaking world translates to "Female voice here We needed you once....But now we don't and were taking half your stuff" Live with it.


I think more men than women need sex as it is natural plus men have less social avenues than women do - so you NEED us for that more than we do you, thus you will always seek us out more than we seek you out.


I don't want to burst your bubble but if two people of the opposite sex have sex isn't that a wash? How can you say one needed the other more? Supply and demand at its best. But take any popular powerful man and truthfully he can get it anytime anywhere Women will throw that stuff at him. He doesn't even have to be good looking. I even heard on the nightly news a few weeks back that there is such a glut of porn on the web the actors and actresses can't compete in the adult entertainment industry. It might have been on Jimmy Kimmel Live...


What's so wrong with needing someone in a non-desperate kind of way?
I don't think men really need most women. They may enjoy their company but need? Sorry don't think so. Besides I thought most of us losers were still living with our moms in their basement.


umm...ever heard of 2 tvs?? most people i know own more than one.

Not you but you retorted first so I am killing two birds with one stone.

Half of your stuff was referring to your 401k or retirement plan. Not your junk that was accumulated during the course of the marriage. What the frick can you really gain by divorcing a Stay at home mom?


Once you've been through enough crap where you had to be brave; attempting those isn't so hard but it still takes a leap and a deep breath!

Just curious does 15 years or more in the military in numerous warzones count towards that bravery tally?
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 566
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 11:11:34 AM
"you can't argue/reason with an emotional conviction".

That resonates with me simply because on these forums I like to discuss the human side and I find stats take away from the emotional part of the discussion.

Firstly, the "stats" in question are meaningless in regards to motivation/cause, this is obvious to anybody with even a basic passing familiarity with critical thinking.

Secondly, I think you're misunderstanding what is meant by this quote, quite pointedly. When one takes a position that is founded in an emotional conviction, there is no reasoning with them, hence --> no discussion, no debate, ...just an "Argument".

With many in this thread, note how some have hijacked it for one or another gender issue quite immaterial to the topic, directly or even in a reasonable periphery, nevertheless it's illustrative how some will abandon reason to pursue a venting of anger (gender vs gender) based entirely on anecdotal experience yet applied as a blanket generality, basically to reinforce an entitlement/emotional conviction to have a view of an entire gender based on hatred/perceived victimhood.


I've changed the way I've thought about a lot of things about relationships because of these forums and really hearing what the men are saying on here about some things.


This can be a very good thing as long as you discern between what is and isn't reasonable/rational and also with the cognizance that it's not representative "all men" or even applicable to being a "man" (it often isn't.

The point (only a few here make) that is quite salient is; if one harbors a grudge and insists (beyond reason) that the stats in question actually validate extending the grudge to an entire gender (that they don't is self evident in the fallacious reasoning offered), expect more of the same (Ben Franklin's definition of insanity comes to mind here) or "don't get married again/ever" (they probably shouldn't).

What the proponents of these blanket generalities fail to recognize is that there are reasonable people in happy fulfilling relationships that function quite well because the two involved understand the difference between emotional conviction and reason --> when it comes to resolving potential conflicts.

YM(and%)MV
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 567
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 12:08:03 PM
Secondly, I think you're misunderstanding what is meant by this quote, quite pointedly. When one takes a position that is founded in an emotional conviction, there is no reasoning with them, hence --> no discussion, no debate, ...just an "Argument".


Thanks for clarifying and what you are saying makes sense. I guess though that I seek understanding through discussion and hearnig another's emotional conviction as opposed to stats will resonate with me and make me listen much more - especially in matters relating to human interaction. Hearing someone's "story" from an emotional viewpoint makes me connect more. Does that make sense?


This can be a very good thing as long as you discern between what is and isn't reasonable/rational and also with the cognizance that it's not representative "all men" or even applicable to being a "man" (it often isn't.


Again true. But one of the things I stopped doing (not because I'm a gold digger) was not asking men what they did for a living. I never thought it was a bad question until I came on the forums and men told their stories about how women ask these and other money related questions because how much $$ a man makes is important to them. I figured it was just a question to get conversation going!

Thanks for more thoughts to ponder!


I don't think men really need most women. They may enjoy their company but need? Sorry don't think so.


So please explain why men contact women more than the other way? And saying that it's because women won't is NOT the answer. If men truly didn't "need" or "want" us more than we them, there are many social vehicles that would die. Free entrance for ladies is one example. They know that men will pay to go in to see the ladies.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 568
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 12:44:19 PM

So please explain why men contact women more than the other way? And saying that it's because women won't is NOT the answer. If men truly didn't "need" or "want" us more than we them, there are many social vehicles that would die. Free entrance for ladies is one example. They know that men will pay to go in to see the ladies.
That's not all men pay for. As a matter of fact, when Nevada licensed it's first male prostitue earlier this year, he only saw about 10 clients in over two months. He recently quit ... After comparing himself to Rosa Parks and Ghandi! maybe that's why the owners wouldn't let him give anymore interviews. Hahaha! men are by far the consumers of sex and sex related entertainment (porn, etc.). Someone earlier said that women want sex as much as men and suggested "it's a wash" in terms of the act. This fallacy assumes a one to one mapping of and does not take into account the business transactions that are a result of "demand."
I don't want to burst your bubble but if two people of the opposite sex have sex isn't that a wash? How can you say one needed the other more? Supply and demand at its best.
Sure, she wouldn't do it if she didn't "need" his money, but men drive the sex industry. The novelty of a male prostitute won't be financially feasible in the long run. Even Playgirl magazine wouldn't have survived without selling subscriptions to gay guys.
SHADY LADY RANCH: 'Prostidude' begins work: State's first male prostitute waits for first client
By Henry Brean Las Vegas Review-Journal
Publication: Las Vegas Review-Journal (Nevada)
Date: Sunday, January 17 2010

Jan. 17--Nevada's first man of the house is about 5 feet 9 inches tall, weighs 180 pounds and performs under the name of Markus.

Actually, at last check, he hadn't done any performing yet.

The first licensed male prostitute in the state's history officially started work on Thursday at
the Shady Lady Ranch 150 miles northwest of Las Vegas, but by Saturday night he had yet to see his first customer.
The brothel's owner, Bobbi Davis, said she has gotten a couple of inquiries from curious women, including one who talked about making an appointment later this week, but no one had made the trip just yet.
Most of the calls to the Shady Lady lately have come from the media.
Davis and her small Nye County bordello have made headlines around the world since she won state and county approval to add men to her lineup of sex workers.
So far, Markus has granted just two interviews -- one with "Details" magazine, the other with ABC's "Nightline" -- but Davis said she has asked him not to talk to any more reporters.
She said he "didn't give good interviews," but she declined to elaborate.
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 569
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 1:00:54 PM
I guess though that I seek understanding through discussion and hearnig another's emotional conviction as opposed to stats will resonate with me and make me listen much more - especially in matters relating to human interaction.

Okay, just to make sure you understand, the entire misrepresenting "stats" as implying more than just a number is an emotional conviction expressed as an argument, not a reasoned argument. (Please also note the difference in the meaning of "argument" in contextual usage).

It is possible to relate emotions reasonably without resorting to fallacy, though ...as


Hearing someone's "story" from an emotional viewpoint makes me connect more. Does that make sense?

Empathy works best when it's reciprocal (not very common in this thread between the genders) and while it is a form of understanding and an admirable one that is most certainly a necessity for connection, it's just a "first step" towards the "making sense" part of understanding.

There seems to be a lot of same-gender empathy in regards to anger, ...and not much beyond the "first-step".

Emotional conviction is an unreasoned belief, not a reasoned conclusion.


She said he "didn't give good interviews," but she declined to elaborate.

Oh SNAP! ...too funny.
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 570
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History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 1:36:02 PM

They know that men will pay to go in to see the ladies.

No men will pay to listen to the band and get their thirst quenched. A female who has a smaller stomach and body will drink more then a male specially if plied with lubrious amounts of free alcohol. So by providing a free pass the bar owner is greasing his pockets as the female will drink much more then she normally would as she may have 5-10 dollars more to start out with and depending on her situation she will drink more once she starts drinking. Now with good looks and buybacks she could be pretty inebriated by the end of the evening.


but men drive the sex industry

Who is the CEO of Playboy? Ever heard the term mamasan? But you are right there is a lot of organized crime, bikers gangs and other nefarious groups involved with pornography.


The novelty of a male prostitute won't be financially feasible in the long run.


Think your wrong there. Put that same male prostitute at Rodeo and Vine in LA and the guy will make a killing. There are a lot of women that would easily go and see male prostitutes if they performed as a group such as "Chippendales" or any other club like that. Rumour has it women and alcohol and men dancing seems to bring out the wildest of parties. I would guess there are alot of gay men once his business gets going would seek his services too. But I am only speculating here.
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 571
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 1:38:47 PM
No men will pay to listen to the band and get their thirst quenched. A female who has a smaller stomach and body will drink more then a male specially if plied with lubrious amounts of free alcohol. So by providing a free pass the bar owner is greasing his pockets as the female will drink much more then she normally would as she may have 5-10 dollars more to start out with and depending on her situation she will drink more once she starts drinking. Now with good looks and buybacks she could be pretty inebriated by the end of the evening.

What does this have to do with breakups/divorce rates?

Who is the CEO of Playboy? Ever heard the term mamasan? But you are right there is a lot of organized crime, bikers gangs and other nefarious groups involved with pornography.

What does this have to do with breakups/divorce rates?

Think your wrong there. Put that same male prostitute at Rodeo and Vine in LA and the guy will make a killing. There are a lot of women that would easily go and see male prostitutes if they performed as a group such as "Chippendales" or any other club like that. Rumour has it women and alcohol and men dancing seems to bring out the wildest of parties. I would guess there are alot of gay men once his business gets going would seek his services too. But I am only speculating here.

What does this have to do with breakups/divorce rates?
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 572
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 1:46:01 PM

I like men. I like to date men, and participate in adult actives with men. I desire men, and enjoy their company, but the BIG threat of not marrying that some men like to trot out has NO power over me, since I have no desire to marry. More women than you might think agree with me. They do NOT hate men, or think they are all worthless ***holes; they just don't see living with a man full time as the ultimate goal of their existence.
I agree. I have several reasons for never marrying and one of them is because I don't care to become fiscally entangled. After listening to a number of the men on this thread cry about the outcomes of their failed marriages, I conclude I had more foresight and intelligence than they.

I think what is so disappointing about this thread (in spite of the flawed premise since, for one point, initiating a "breakup" is not synonymous with filing for divorce), men DID have the opportunity to hear something. Presumably, women are being queried for the reason(s) they may walk. Many women have offered a perspective, but a number of men persist in dismissing or attempting to villify the women and their input. The men insist they know what motivated their ex, based on their own (the man's) personal experience. The irony of that frame of reference is that if the men REALLY knew what their wives were thinking and what their wives' motivations were, we would not have likely seen the failed marriage outcome.

Too bad for those who had such a bad experience with one (or more) marriages. Why you did it again, I'll never know, but the "never marry" vow is most likely in the very best interest of you and any females that may cross your path. Good on you for recognizing this! Do the right thing, mate.
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 573
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 2:09:47 PM
So you don't see the fact that a lot of women are unhappy in their marriages as a problem, or you just don't see that the husbands can possibly have any role in the fact that their wives are unhappy?
It is impossible for another person to make someone happy.

So, if you were married, are you trying to say that there's NOTHING your spouse could do (or not do) that would make you unhappy ?

Another person simply cannot be an external validation of ones happiness...

The word being used had an "un" in front of it, ...just sayin'

But over-all if your not happy

" a lot of women are unhappy in their marriages
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 574
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 2:16:20 PM
Maffers - did it occur to you being "unhappy in their marriages" can be disillusionment with the roles, expectations, traditions and limitations of an institution that may have outlived its usefulness? If that is the realization that dawns on someone, it will take a tremendous amount of work on the part of both people to come to an understanding and/or compromise in defining their relationship. No way can one person address this on their own.
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 575
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/1/2010 2:20:21 PM

There is no un dude

Actually (and seriously, it's in the thread, no use in denying it), the statement you responded to (with a straw man argument) wasn't about happiness/self fulfillment, ...dude, there was EXPLICITLY no "self" about it, read it again:

"a lot of women are unhappy in their marriages "

Not, "happy with themselves".

You do know a marriage involves another person, right?

You do know what a straw man is, right?
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