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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 676
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Page 28 of 54    (14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54)

You don’t debate, you manipulate and you can’t pull it off, you’re neither proficient, nor creative enough as a wordsmith. You merely twist it around as to why you’re still correct or to disarm those who may still read the volumes of blather you expound. And why prey tell is this subject of such importance to you that you’re willing to expel so much energy in defending your position? Hmmmm, a little introspection may do wonders. Nah, probably not though, please, type away.


I have posted facts you and your cohorts have nothing but your opinion.

Why? Because I would truly like to know about how the women think so I can understand them better. Several have posted very eye opening post that I have learned from sadly yours has not been one of them.

There is a lot of info out there on "matters of the heart" polls studies and the experts have studied it exhaustively.
Again my stand is NOT based on just the 70/30 stats that was merely a jumping off point.


Names are not needed to attack. Come on boardroom debater, try and keep up here. How dare someone use a name! I’m glad your ego has survived the torrent of abuse.


[qoute]One even tried to use a thinking process to show I was wrong when the process actually showed the flaws of the people attacking me.

Did you throw yourself a party for your witty discovery! Oh my, how astute you are! Heaven forbid someone should actually use a “thinking process”!


So you are saying calling names and fallaciously using a thinking process is adult behavior?
NICE!!!!!


Ah, the same old reply as in many of your other threads, when cornered, play the thoughtful pity card and turn it back to anyone who has made a statement against you, and you say you debate? Hah! I see many colors of the rainbow, but noticing blue doesn’t make me single minded. Please, continue defending at will, it’s your right; It’s also mine so deal with it. Entitlement is such a pathetic stance.


Pity or calling you and the others out for what you really are. Not that it was really necessary as anyone reading this can figure it out using a truly open mind.

Really this bores me I want to learn from outer not argue mute points with no facts or info to back them up.
Someone please post something worth reading here.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 677
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 12:48:18 PM

The false belief that medieval Christianity believed in a flat earth has been referred to as The Myth of the Flat Earth. In 1945, it was listed by the Historical Association (of Britain) as the second of 20 in a pamphlet on common errors in history. The myth that people of the Middle Ages believed that the Earth was flat only entered the popular imagination in the 19th century, thanks largely to the publication of Washington Irving's fantasy The Life and Voyages of Christopher Columbus in 1828.
Wikpedia


Isaiah 40:22 (King James Version):
It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in:


While it can be an admirable trait your tenacity is your undoing here. Why? Because you are so set on proving your point that you don’t appear to be listening. I have replied twice giving you the example that the upward rise in divorce rise in divorce did not start with women. That they have gone up since women got the right to file just shows that women file more. It does not tell you why they file more. Sometimes it is just to finalize something that already ended (for example: my mother filed after father pulled a disappearing act). Yes, some women are slime - so are some men. Some nice people shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.

Speaking of my mother it was because of cases like hers, as well as the knowledge that many people had falsely been accused of abuse, adultery, etc to obtain divorces, which led us up the path to No Fault Divorce. While it is not perfect, do we want to go back to the old ways? As I sat in court waiting for the final decree in my first divorce (yup, two time loser here) there was a woman contesting her divorce - even though the husband had left her and was living with another woman. Do you feel she should have been able to stop that divorce?

Here's a link to some info on European divorce rates, waiting periods and reconciliation counceling laws.

http://www.divorcereform.org/EuropeanRatesChart.html
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 678
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 1:33:23 PM

you say I am getting it wrong?

If you were "getting it right" you would have abandoned the many fallacies you are STILL employing, especially the one that drops your whole house of cards -> correlation does not imply causation.


There is a lot of info out there on "matters of the heart" polls studies and the experts have studied it exhaustively.

And others have cited studies and experts that refute your misogynistic generalizations, this appeal to authority falls flat on its face for the simple reality that you are "cherry picking".


I want to learn from outer not argue mute points

Arguing "moot" points is exactly what you're doing when you continue to apply dismissive blanket generalizations to a gender based on your own negative presumptions of that gender, when in reality; each situation has it's own root causality that cannot be summed up with stats and data.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 679
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 1:42:18 PM

While it can be an admirable trait your tenacity is your undoing here. Why? Because you are so set on proving your point that you don’t appear to be listening.


I support that. Zangie has also provided some facts from her workplace. I guess Yawn's facts trump Zangie's lawyers?!


Really this bores me I want to learn from outer not argue mute points with no facts or info to back them up.
Someone please post something worth reading here.


Sorry to say, but I've been skimming through your posts and reading the responses that others make to yours.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 680
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 2:51:40 PM
Alpha


If you were "getting it right" you would have abandoned the many fallacies you are STILL employing, especially the one that drops your whole house of cards -> correlation does not imply causation.


Again there are many other studies and facts I have found that I am basing my statements on. I have posted them they prove my stance even with out the 70/30 stats.

Also I have shown your attempt to hold me to the rules of C T while not holding your side to the same rules.
That shows your contempt for C T!!!


And others have cited studies and experts that refute your misogynistic generalizations, this appeal to authority falls flat on its face for the simple reality that you are "cherry picking".


So post them or give it a rest!!!


Arguing "moot" points is exactly what you're doing when you continue to apply dismissive blanket generalizations to a gender based on your own negative presumptions of that gender, when in reality; each situation has it's own root causality that cannot be summed up with stats and data.


So a poll of divorcees that show women asked if they would divorce again if they could go back to the point when they filed and 45% said no it was a mistake means nothing?

Sir you are the one biased here not me.

Happybunny


I support that. Zangie has also provided some facts from her workplace. I guess Yawn's facts trump Zangie's lawyers?!


Did you even bother to check my sources? They are from LAWYERS but not just one firm and definitely not from the memory of a secretary!!!!

which do you really think is accurate?

thebugisback

The new relatively new laws that I am speaking of has no fault only it demands that both agree for it to be quick. If not there is a 5-7 year waiting period before the divorce can be granted.
That way if it is a attempt to grab half the assets and run it gives the other party time to catch up emotionally and financially protecting their standard of living and gender does not have any bearing on this.

Would you not agree that is fair? If both want it and can come to a agreeable split of the assets the divorce can be quick and painless as possible. If not the party that feels like they are being taken advantage of has recourse.
This way no one's rights are violated.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 681
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 3:32:49 PM

Why? Because I would truly like to know about how the women think so I can understand them better.


You have categorically dismissed almost every female response, with the exception of a few who seemed to you to somehow support what you were saying...open minded means listening to what people say with an open mind..not a pre determined resolve to dismiss anything you don't agree with...

It also means actually listening...as in:



But when reading your post you never mention your part in that only his.


I have repeatedly, as in more than once..taken responsibility for my own character flaws or weaknesses, probably to a bigger extent than I normally would on a forum..just to show I don't blame him entirely( or all men)...all I can blame him for, is refusing to cooperate to fix what was wrong on his end...if you listened, you would know this...unless you just have all of us female posters mixed up as one voice and don't remember who has said what..I have repeatedly, while trying to be fair, acknowledged my part, and understood where some men are coming from on some of the issues, I even discussed how I have tried to alter my behavior to be better understood....the bottom line is: in the end I was unhappy enough , with no possibility to fix it...to initiate the break up...

I have never called you a name...I have questioned your reasoning and your conclusions, and I have disagreed with you...but, I never called you a specific name...I have debated the soundness of your assertions...I have never "attacked" you...

At lot of what you say reads as: we must punish women for their behavior..you give passing remarks about men's responsibility for what goes wrong, but in superficial ways like: he should listen only if she says it the way he wants her too...whether you are conscious of it or not, what you write reads as someone who really is angry at women, thinks that none of them behave properly or do what they should, and shouldn't be allowed to make decisions that men don't agree with...for any reason...



no reason for not telling the truth.
So who's facts are more accurate the ones compiled by many or the one you give us from your memory?


Are you saying I am lying? I would, because I am fair and open minded, report anything that didn't favor me, or women in general, and I believe , early on, that I did just that...I think ten years in this business with access to not only who files first, but why, and how No Faults work , and why they are chosen is valid..and this is true statewide....not just where I am...Ohio is one of the most populated states...that's a fair sampling...those people are compiling stats...I am giving you human reasons for why people do what they do...and the bugisback has a valid point...No Fault may not be ideal , but it beats the way divorces used to be done by a long shot...

As to the hits for reading this...are you arrogant enough to think they are all about what you say..or everyone who reads it agrees with you? Or, do you discount the entertainment value of this kind of debate, or, that many people who have posted on here already, don't feel motivated to post again...but, keep reading it to see what's happening..or how "gender war" type stuff is always well read...

Before you came back on, the thread was actually making some progress as to trying to see everyone's point of view, and discussing possible fixes, and with far less acrimoniousness ...your only solution to the problem appears to be limiting other people's rights or imposing your own personal religious values on everyone , or just berating women in general till they capitulate and do it your way...cooperation is paramount to solving any joint issue ( the core of why some women initiate break ups)...your delivery method, at the least, does not encourage this...so, that any valid points you may actually have, are not heard behind the accusations...

I keep posting both because I think the topic could have some validity handled more civilly , because there just aren't as many thought provoking or interesting things to post about on here lately, and I can't think of an original topic of my own..lol..because it takes my mind off my feeling so crummy...lol..and because somewhere I keep thinking (probably erroneously, I know) that you will actually HEAR something I say and a light will go off, and some understanding might ensue...I always was a hopeless optimist...LOL..

Edit to add:


definitely not from the memory of a secretary!!!!


OMG...be careful MJ...your bias is showing...how presumptuous of you...

Not that there is anything wrong with being a secretary...but, I'm not...I have a college degree in business administration ( and a second one in merchandising marketing)..I am actually the Bookkeeper/Operations Manager..I run the firm...administratively..and handle all the finances..and I meet with every client at some point or another, see all the files, and they often tell me what is motivating them ( they (both genders) are usually happy to have someone listen to them), and I write the checks for filing...

 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 682
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 3:50:04 PM
I think some women initiate the breakup because they get tired of their man repeating their point of view ad infinitum, while their own ideas and comments are completely disregarded. Their partner's unwavering need to be "right" and "justified" in their line of thinking makes it impossible to have intelligent conversations, or they become so monotonous, they just fall asleep, and then....whadayaknow.....they go without so much as a slap and tickle again. So in reality, these women are just not having their conjugal needs met.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 683
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 5:00:30 PM

Did you even bother to check my sources? They are from LAWYERS but not just one firm and definitely not from the memory of a secretary!!!!


But hers are not? I'm going to find where she specifically posted that the lawyers "told her" about these things.

And: why do your lawyers trump her lawyers? Since you are or Zangie are not lawyers, both of you cross each other out, and readers will believe the more convincing of the two - which has not been you. Had it been between Zangie and Alpha? Alpha would have won. Simply based on how well your posts were written.

Your post is also condescending. The fact that you fail to see this in your various posts is very telling. I'm sure you are going to whine and say that others have maligned you. Is that what you would teach others?
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 684
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 5:15:22 PM

You have categorically dismissed almost every female response, with the exception of a few who seemed to you to somehow support what you were saying...open minded means listening to what people say with an open mind..not a pre determined resolve to dismiss anything you don't agree with...

It also means actually listening...as in:


I only dismissed the ones that attacked me go back and read my posts and theirs. I have repeatably said they have the right to think whatever they want. I have asked for the information that would support their claim. None have posted it.
So I have been listening the only thing I hear is conjecture and opinion.


At lot of what you say reads as: we must punish women for their behavior..you give passing remarks about men's responsibility for what goes wrong, but in superficial ways like: he should listen only if she says it the way he wants her too...whether you are conscious of it or not, what you write reads as someone who really is angry at women, thinks that none of them behave properly or do what they should, and shouldn't be allowed to make decisions that men don't agree with...for any reason...


Again wrong show me one post where I said the women should loose rights.
I have said over and over that it should be gender neutral.
If my stance is as flimsily as you all claim why not post the facts stats polls and experts that would show how wrong I am?


Before you came back on, the thread was actually making some progress as to trying to see everyone's point of view, and discussing possible fixes, and with far less acrimoniousness ...your only solution to the problem appears to be limiting other people's rights or imposing your own personal religious values on everyone , or just berating women in general till they capitulate and do it your way...cooperation is paramount to solving any joint issue ( the core of why some women initiate break ups)...your delivery method, at the least, does not encourage this...so, that any valid points you may actually have, are not heard behind the accusations...


You have said many times that both have wanted the divorce at the same time and they agree to it.
Now if the is the case then why would imposing a 5-7 year waiting period be "limitting someones rights"?
How would it be anyway it is gender neutral so if a man wanted to divorce and the woman was not happy with the split she could hold out for a better split.
So if there is no lopsidedness in the favor of women now how on earth would it limit anything.
Are you admitting that the laws now favor women?.....It sure seems to be what you are saying.


Not that there is anything wrong with being a secretary...but, I'm not...I have a college degree in business administration ( and a second one in merchandising marketing)..I am actually the Bookkeeper/Operations Manager..I run the firm...administratively..and handle all the finances..and I meet with every client at some point or another, see all the files, and they often tell me what is motivating them ( they (both genders) are usually happy to have someone listen to them), and I write the checks for filing...


Are you also in charge of statistics? With the info on computer with spread sheets and a data annalist?
Sorry but Alpha has said personal experience is fallacious so if it is fallacious for me it is for you as well.

The biggest trouble I have with you is the dismissal of my info without even checking it out and the fact you base your opinion on what has happened to you and what you hear.
I have no fight with you, and you can believe what ever you like, but why say my view is wrong and say I am against a woman rights, when the suggestion I have made is gender neutral?
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 685
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 5:23:00 PM
That shows your contempt for C T!

Point out the flaw in the reasoning that: "correlation does not imply causation".

Where is there contempt for critical thinking in refuting your reasoning by pointing out specific fallacies you're committing?

Nice try at a "tu quoque ad hominem" ploy but that's all that one is, just another fallacy.


So a poll of divorcees that show women asked if they would divorce again if they could go back to the point when they filed and 45% said no it was a mistake means nothing?

What is the comparable stat for men?


which do you really think is accurate?

Since the OP is pretty clear that this is about "breakups" and not specifically "divorce" I fail to see how either is even relevant.

Either way, the only counter argument you offer is an appeal to authority fallacy, still batting zero.

why would imposing a 5-7 year waiting period be "limitting someones rights"?
Because it limits their right to self-determination. This should be obvious.


I cannot (yes, cannot; not "I don't want to") live with someone who is demonstrably incapable of rational thought and rational communication.

I agree, gender isn't an issue here either, but again, my closing comment in post# 450 is quite apropos.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 686
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 5:26:39 PM

But hers are not? I'm going to find where she specifically posted that the lawyers "told her" about these things.

And: why do your lawyers trump her lawyers? Since you are or Zangie are not lawyers, both of you cross each other out, and readers will believe the more convincing of the two - which has not been you. Had it been between Zangie and Alpha? Alpha would have won. Simply based on how well your posts were written.


My stats are compiled all across the country and the polls and studies are preformed by experts in the field.

They won? When I clearly have shown Alpha used his so called critical thinking applying it to me but not to them.......That is just a cheap shot to appear logical when the rules of C T show it to be fallacious!!!


Your post is also condescending. The fact that you fail to see this in your various posts is very telling. I'm sure you are going to whine and say that others have maligned you. Is that what you would teach others?

Am I condescending or is it you don't like the info I posted? I have posted ideas that would balance the treatment the laws give to each. Taking nothing from either side but allowing for fairness in the asset settlement. Why is that so bad?

Again if it is as you all say and most agree then it would not effect the ability to quickly get a divorce.
The only way it would adversely effect women is if the laws now favor her and you don't want to loose that advantage.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 687
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 5:57:55 PM
My stats are compiled all across the country and the polls and studies are preformed by experts in the field.
Reeeeaaaaallllyyy?

I believe this has been pointed out before, but was apparently not acknowledged:
Divorce figures exclude data for California, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Louisiana, and Minnesota, because those states do not even collect divorce rate information. Population bases for divorce rates also exclude these states. Divorce figures include reported annulments. There is considerable variability among the states in the procedures that are used to submit the counts of marriages and divorces to NCHS and in the extent to which the states update their counts of marriages and divorces as new information is received. Therefore, counts vary in their completeness.

Source: CDC, National Vital Statistics Report
Volume 58, Number 13

The comparison, statistical correlation and variance of statistics collected using various methodologies and at different points in time with disparate populations are specious at best (not to mention, NOT directly related to "breakups").
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 688
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 6:21:15 PM
http://www.menshealth.com/men/sex-relationships/decode-her/breaking-up-statistics-for-why-women-do-it/article/f93a99edbbbd201099edbbbd2010cfe793cd

Here is a source the men (man) should find adequate.....Men's Health.

Here is why women dump you....

Reasons Women Gave for Breaking Up....
26 percent Too many arguments and conflicts
18 percent No chemistry
14 percent Found a better guy
11 percent He cheated
11 percent He wouldn't commit
9 percent He wasn't husband material
8 percent I wouldn't commit
3 percent Lousy sex ~~ Personally I think this number is likely higher than the poll suggests, the women were being kind.

So, if the statistic is correct and women do the deed 80% of the time...it is because we have high expectations for ourselves, we take control of our life's direction and after 100s of years of being enslaved, and now have the choice to stay or go, we are not only willing to make, it is critical to our well being.

Call it the pendulum swinging the other way....if you will.
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 689
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 7:15:41 PM


I think this is the first example of a stat/study on this thread that actually has something to do with the actual topic.

Reasons Women Gave for Breaking Up....
26 percent Too many arguments and conflicts
18 percent No chemistry
14 percent Found a better guy
11 percent He cheated
11 percent He wouldn't commit
9 percent He wasn't husband material
8 percent I wouldn't commit
3 percent Lousy sex ~~ Personally I think this number is likely higher than the poll suggests, the women were being kind.




I am much happier knowing that I initiated break up in my last three relationships.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 690
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 8:14:51 PM
^^^That deduction is not logical.

"Finding a better guy" does not imply the woman cheated on her current boyfriend. She may have, she may not. Perhaps she ended the relationship to be with someone that was a better fit for her.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 691
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 8:30:13 PM

So, if the statistic is correct and women do the deed 80% of the time...it is because we have high expectations for ourselves, we take control of our life's direction and after 100s of years of being enslaved, and now have the choice to stay or go, we are not only willing to make, it is critical to our well being.

Call it the pendulum swinging the other way....if you will.
Having high expectations for yourself (or OF yourself/others?) Doesn't really mean the probability of having those expectations met is high. What you want does not mean there is necessarily any of that 'in stock'.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 692
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 8:32:38 PM

I believe this has been pointed out before, but was apparently not acknowledged:
Divorce figures exclude data for California, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Louisiana, and Minnesota, because those states do not even collect divorce rate information. Population bases for divorce rates also exclude these states. Divorce figures include reported annulments. There is considerable variability among the states in the procedures that are used to submit the counts of marriages and divorces to NCHS and in the extent to which the states update their counts of marriages and divorces as new information is received. Therefore, counts vary in their completeness.


Nice try but I included the government stats and the stats from a polling company that polled law offices from every state. They compiled the data and drew conclusions. If you had put the same effort into reading my post and checking the stats. As you are in trying to discredit me you would have known that.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 693
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 8:47:00 PM

Big difference. There are several women on this thread who have tried to explain some of the reasons why they decided to end the marriage. Not only were there several woman who shared their personal experiences, but they also stated that they knew of other women who had similar experiences. Now, you want to use the word of ONE woman, who is not participating in this thread to somehow refute or invalidate what so many of have been explaining our experiences. Really, it just comes across as insulting.


Insulting like when I conveyed my experience's and was blamed by the same women. I seem to remembering them saying it was my fault.
They seem to think a woman can do no wrong. That the man is responsible for every demise of every relationship.

You complain about my manners yet very few have extended the same curiosity to me.
Again trying to take me out of context never have I stated my decision was based on one womans book.
Go back the quotes are all there.


Actually, I was talking about women falling out of love with men. As in, the man treated her in an unloving way, and she therefore eventually stopped loving him, and YES, I know it could happen the other way around. No real STATS are available, as far as I know. Feel free to google it and report back if you find some.


Had you read all my post some of these was posted in a poll I found.


See, even that statement shows your bias! First, you sate that his partner ( the woman) is the one with the problem...again setting your self up as King Problem Solver, and THEN you say the problem is "real to her". Yeah, it was me omitting that comment that made you "look" gender biased! LOL


See what trying to read between the lines get you.
I never inferred that she was inferior for having a problem. The problem could have been with him or many other things.
Last time I checked we as humans all have problems. Withing a relationship when one has a problem it should be a concern to both.
So if he will not listen and try to understand her view or need then he is the one with the real problem.
After this twist of my words I wonder if there is anything that would make you happy short of the demise of men.


First, I quoted complete sentences. Every one does that. Second, do you seriously think no one here understands your CONTEXT?! Holy heck...you've written volumes. We get where you are coming from. Your comments about how men might possibly be responsible for some portion of the breakdown of their marriages are pretty much an afterthought you add in so that you can come back and say, " see...I said men are partly at fault.


No you left out the what you wanted to try to make it look as I had said something I had not.
Again twisting my words. Go back and look at the quotes I have taken from others I have made sure that the context they intended stay complete.


I don't presume to know the inner thoughts or plans of a man who intends to end his marriage. What makes you an expert on the way women "plan their departures"?


Never claimed to be a expert. I have read the studies and polls and other facts about it and yes I have personally seen three women do this. (though I know my personal experience means nothing. Where your sides experiences mean everything) Can you at least tell me why that is?


FYI, there may in fact be women who plot their divorces well in advance to gain some sort of tactical advantage. I don't know of anyone who has done this. What I do know is that a lot of women struggle a long, long time over whether to leave or not, which is not the same as knowing that they are going to leave, and keeping the man in the dark.

Then there is the cases like mine where the last two years of my marriage was a act where she could plan to get all she could.
Even taking out a 250 k life insurance policy. In GA where I was at the time the policy will pay in the case of suicide. Her first husband did just that and she collected the small policy.
The agent she used told me months after the divorce that she had kept it up. That she said to her after a few months and I quote "I am going to stop paying the policy on him because it doesn't look like he is going to do what my first husband did".

So though you may not have seen I have and trust me it is not pretty. Though I am sure you will spin this monstrosity she committed to be my fault.


Here is a source the men (man) should find adequate.....Men's Health.

Here is why women dump you....

Reasons Women Gave for Breaking Up....
26 percent Too many arguments and conflicts
18 percent No chemistry
14 percent Found a better guy
11 percent He cheated
11 percent He wouldn't commit
9 percent He wasn't husband material
8 percent I wouldn't commit
3 percent Lousy sex ~~ Personally I think this number is likely higher than the poll suggests, the women were being kind.


Some very good stats. Notice the MAN cheated but the women term theirs as "finding a better guy" yet their stat is higher!!!

Here is something else I noticed these fine ladies had the decency to do the dumping before the marriage.

Also notice the %age of women that wouldn't commit was 8 while the mans %age was 11 kinda shoots the whole men want to be married more than women argument in the foot!!!

I also notice the 18% of no chemistry so one would have to deduct this was not a poll of LTR's.

Great info now lets see if anyone can use it to refute my stance.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 694
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 9:09:28 PM

Nice try but I included the government stats and the stats from a polling company that polled law offices from every state. They compiled the data and drew conclusions.

Government stats do NOT include six states (California, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Louisiana, and Minnesota, because those states do not even collect divorce rate information). "In the United States, the National Center for Health Statistics compiles data about divorces." 6 states do not collect divorce statistics. So now you have ANOTHER entity collecting data with a DIFFERENT appoach. Private polls are even more subject to variance in administering surveys and collecting data. For example, How many of the "polled" law offices responded to solicitation for input? Are their specialties taken into account (family law, etc.)? Such statistics, while appearing plausible, are by nature superficially relevant while lacking actual merit. Those who care to lend credibility to such methods used to "draw conclusions" when data deviates so significantly and unquestioningly accept the resulting "statistics" are welcome to do so. There are NO consistent collection methodologies associated with national divorce stats. Trotting out statistics and polls does not mean everyone believes them (or should). Divorce stats are not directly related to reasons for breaking up, anyway.
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 695
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 9:22:06 PM

Divorce stats are not directly related to reasons for breaking up, anyway.

You'd think this little bit o' obvious would have sunk in by now...
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 696
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/5/2010 9:30:29 PM
@yawn....If you could articulate your "stance" in 5 lines or less, I might actually be inclined to read one of your posts.

Brevity is the soul of wit. ~Shakespear

@Alpha....the rule of 7 applies for the forums.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 697
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 9:47:27 AM
Five lines or less no problem.
The number of women filing are higher by a massive number. There are people filing for frivolous reasons of both sexes. The disparity in the number of filings would mean that women do this more.

Less than three lines.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 698
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 9:55:29 AM
Am I condescending or is it you don't like the info I posted? I have posted ideas that would balance the treatment the laws give to each. Taking nothing from either side but allowing for fairness in the asset settlement. Why is that so bad?

Again if it is as you all say and most agree then it would not effect the ability to quickly get a divorce.
The only way it would adversely effect women is if the laws now favor her and you don't want to loose that advantage.


Are you dense? I've said repeatedly that I could care less who initiates - why do you keep trying to argue that with me? I could care less about any "advantage" that you keep bringing up. Pay attention.

Others have said you are condescending too. It's not the information that was condescending - it's your tone. The fact that you don't see that is very telling.


Five lines or less no problem.
The number of women filing are higher by a massive number. There are people filing for frivolous reasons of both sexes. The disparity in the number of filings would mean that women do this more.

Less than three lines.


*shakes head*


They seem to think a woman can do no wrong. That the man is responsible for every demise of every relationship.


Again proving that he hasn't read our posts very well.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 699
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 9:59:22 AM

Government stats do NOT include six states (California, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Louisiana, and Minnesota, because those states do not even collect divorce rate information). "In the United States, the National Center for Health Statistics compiles data about divorces." 6 states do not collect divorce statistics. So now you have ANOTHER entity collecting data with a DIFFERENT appoach. Private polls are even more subject to variance in administering surveys and collecting data. For example, How many of the "polled" law offices responded to solicitation for input? Are their specialties taken into account (family law, etc.)? Such statistics, while appearing plausible, are by nature superficially relevant while lacking actual merit. Those who care to lend credibility to such methods used to "draw conclusions" when data deviates so significantly and unquestioningly accept the resulting "statistics" are welcome to do so. There are NO consistent collection methodologies associated with national divorce stats. Trotting out statistics and polls does not mean everyone believes them (or should). Divorce stats are not directly related to reasons for breaking up, anyway.


Yet you and the others that have attacked my statements have accepted as fact the word of one person that just works in a law office.
She quoted them from memory and did not collect the info in any kind of regulated way, however you and the others have said her facts are perfectly fine to draw the conclusion she did!!!

Polling companies will tell you there is a 3-4% variance in the polls. I really don't think that will account for the much larger disparity the poll found in the numbers.

It is strange that my life experiences and the facts about the divorces that I went through and had personal knowledge of was dismissed.
However Zangies is good enough to base your stance on. Who is really gender bias?
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 700
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 10:02:53 AM

Yet you and the others that have attacked my statements have accepted as fact the word of one person that just works in a law office.


Why do you assume that we take YOUR word for it either? You could be sh*tting us too.

It's the way you express yourself that is turning most of us off.
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