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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 701
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Page 29 of 54    (14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54)

Are you dense? I've said repeatedly that I could care less who initiates - why do you keep trying to argue that with me? I could care less about any "advantage" that you keep bringing up. Pay attention.

Others have said you are condescending too. It's not the information that was condescending - it's your tone. The fact that you don't see that is very telling.


Your first statement of "I could care less who initiates"
First the whole thread is based on the reasons women initiates the breakup.

It is funny to me you can read a tone into a post. I hear people all the time saying in e mail text messages they can't know the tone of the person they are communicating with.

BTW the statement "I could care less" means you do care. If you intended to show you did not care it should be stated like this. "I couldn't care less" that would mean you don't care at all.
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 702
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 10:49:37 AM
I hear people all the time saying

Time to trot out the shoe analogy again....

You select a shoe from a display in a shoe store, you try it on and it doesn't fit, you try another, it doesn't fit, and then another that fits even less.

Instead of "fixing the problem" by selecting the correct sized shoes for your feet, it's easier to blame shoes, in general, ...for not fitting.

Here's the solution:

The MAIN point of learning anything from one's own experiences is to avoid Franklin's definition of insanity. Two options here, either:

Presume that this is a gender conspiracy and operate on the assertion that "it's all their fault", and never enter into an LTR with the opposite gender again;

OR,

Learn to not repeat your own mistakes, take greater care in the discernment of character in others (as individuals) and make sure your words and deeds match.

This makes for the likelihood of a a happier and more fulfilling outcome, but there are no guarantees (random variables being a given).

In short: Learn from your baggage and let it go, don't bring it with you on the next "trip".

Oh look!!!!

Sound reasoning based on logic and critical thinking doesn't require stats, polls or abandoning the law of parsimony.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 703
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 10:51:05 AM

Why do you assume that we take YOUR word for it either? You could be sh*tting us too.

It's the way you express yourself that is turning most of us off.


My facts can be found by anyone with a computer................ hers are solely off her word.

The way I express myself? You mean posting facts being open minded by inviting others to post opposing facts.
By stating this is a very small number and most women are good people.
While your side has bashed men in general......Yes it is easy to see where that would turn you off.

If I made the statement that most serial killers are white males in their 30's-40's would that turn you off too.

Or is it the fact your side is finding it hard to collect proof that would support them.
Or maybe you just don't like what I am saying.
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 704
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 10:58:31 AM

My facts can be found by anyone with a computer...

Correlation does not imply causation

You mean posting facts being open minded

Stats conflated with a misogynistic confirmation bias does not = "facts", and being open minded precludes having confirmation bias.

Or is it the fact your side is finding it hard to collect proof that would support them.

My "side" is reason, its proof is called, quod erat demonstrandum.

Or maybe you just don't like what I am saying.

More likely it's because you continue to try to buttress a misogynistic world view in spite of being called on it repeatedly, there is a name for this too... argumentum ad nauseum.

Q.E.D.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 705
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 11:01:18 AM


I hear people all the time saying

Time to trot out the shoe analogy again....

You select a shoe from a display in a shoe store, you try it on and it doesn't fit, you try another, it doesn't fit, and then another that fits even less.

Instead of "fixing the problem" by selecting the correct sized shoes for your feet, it's easier to blame shoes, in general, ...for not fitting.


Shoe analogy I am so glad you posted this.

A few months ago Wal-mart imported flip flops from a company in China.
The people that bought theses shoes soon began to have severe skin reactions on their feet where the straps touched them.

After so fact checking it was discovered that the shoes had a chemical that was causing this.
Wal-Mart pulled the shoes and recalled the ones sold.

Yet the other flip flops in the store they continued to sell.
See they did not blame all flip flops just the ones that were bad.

I have never said all women are like this only a few and that a few men are doing the same thing.

I am also sure you will tell me your analogy is the only one that can be used and mine is flawed.

Sorry Alpha but this is a epic FAIL for you.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 706
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 11:03:01 AM
mjyawn... filing for divorce has nothing to do with who initiated the break up. As someone who works with research extensively this misapplication of research is offensive to me. I've stated that early on in this thread and I, and others, have repeatedly made that point. Research is like a lamp-post, it ought to be used for illumination and not as a drunk would use it for support.

Further, putting the resolution for a break up on hold for an extended period is not a good solution to the problem. It creates more problems than it solves and I'm not convinced it would even solve the problem it is supposedly designed to resolve.
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 707
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 12:21:14 PM
I am also sure you will tell me your analogy is the only one that can be used

Absolutely not, the potential for analogies of blanket generalizations supported by fallacy are many and myriad, here's a perfect one as an example (from post #1075):

"Research is like a lamp-post, it ought to be used for illumination and not as a drunk would use it for support."


and mine is flawed.

It depends on what it is you are attempting to be analogous to. If you claim that your analogy matches your conclusions, it doesn't. In order to match your conclusions, your conclusions must be based on specific empirical data, they are not. You are trying to conflate unrelated issues = correlation does not imply causation.


Sorry Alpha but this is a epic FAIL for you.

In as much as you alone, failed to comprehend it, mea culpa.
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 708
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 12:25:15 PM

how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?

Um, are you sure that they do? Or have women just initiated the breakup with YOU 80% of the time. This has not been my experience, and I for some reason suspect it's a little more evenly balanced than you claim.
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 709
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 12:34:47 PM
Lets see here...since this post is near dying out...if I can't throw some fresh info. out there and start the war up again....lol.

Based on reading forums...it appears women(some)....take all the short comings from ex. relations, and those old neanderthal things women need like strength, confidence, the defender, provider, etc...of course we can tell this meerly by his height, weight, and appeared demeaner...lol.

Then roll it all up into the image of the perfect man...then conjure up love, thus being in love...

The only problem with all of this...is this is meerly an image, and may not account for him as a real person.

When sometime and it will happen...the image burst, because he is a real person...the image is shattered...there goes the being in love with it...thus why if this question is true...the odds appear this way.

Now, do I really believe in all of this...maybe not...but lets hope for the sake of entertainment...it starts up the action again and this post can live on and on.

Because I got a good laugh out of it...and these days a free laugh..isn't a bad thing.

 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 710
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 1:09:20 PM

Absolutely not, the potential for analogies of blanket generalizations supported by fallacy are many and myriad, here's a perfect one as an example (from post #1075):

"Research is like a lamp-post, it ought to be used for illumination and not as a drunk would use it for support."


Ok lets look at this illumination VS support angle.
I have brought facts studies and poll to this "light" the other side has brought conjecture opinion and the bashing of a whole gender.(men)
I have said this is a small number of women that do this, Yet I am the one accused of bashing a gender?
The effect of divorce on our country the women and men involved and the children. Have been documented as horrendous.

Who uses divorce as a answer to a bad marriage the most?


It depends on what it is you are attempting to be analogous to. If you claim that your analogy matches your conclusions, it doesn't. In order to match your conclusions, your conclusions must be based on specific empirical data, they are not. You are trying to conflate unrelated issues = correlation does not imply causation.


My analogy is that not all of the flip flops are bad. Just the ones that had been made with the chemical that caused the problem.
Just as I have said not all women are bad just the ones using divorce as way ducking the responsibility that they should be carrying.


In as much as you alone, failed to comprehend it, mea culpa.


Ahhhh.....My fault.....Have I failed to comprehend it?
Or is the fact I am trying to learn more about the reasons divorce happens, proof I have learned that I don't want to do it again.
I have learned not to rush in getting to know the lady over time so I will not be blindsided by one like the last.
My fault in my last marriage was believing she was what she said she was. When she really just married to get what she could even hoping for the death of her husbands to profit.
I have surely learned my fault in this and will not repeat it again.

luckyhot777's

Lets see here...since this post is near dying out...if I can't throw some fresh info. out there and start the war up again....lol.

Based on reading forums...it appears women(some)....take all the short comings from ex. relations, and those old neanderthal things women need like strength, confidence, the defender, provider, etc...of course we can tell this meerly by his height, weight, and appeared demeaner...lol.

Then roll it all up into the image of the perfect man...then conjure up love, thus being in love...

The only problem with all of this...is this is meerly an image, and may not account for him as a real person.

When sometime and it will happen...the image burst, because he is a real person...the image is shattered...there goes the being in love with it...thus why if this question is true...the odds appear this way.

Now, do I really believe in all of this...maybe not...but lets hope for the sake of entertainment...it starts up the action again and this post can live on and on.

Because I got a good laugh out of it...and these days a free laugh..isn't a bad thing.


Are you saying that (some) women might be expecting perfection out of the man while expecting him to accept her flaws?
And that when they realize he is flawed also they want to get rid of him to find one that is perfect?
Wouldn't that clash with their theory of all men are a "defective product"?

Annasthasia


luckyhot777s, it may not work... You need to put random numbers with no real scientific backing in your message...

Let's see... Ideal man...

25 % muscle
At least 10 % taller than female chosen to breed with
.00000005 % brain
Must be able to hunt and have a 75 % accurate success rate
Must be clean and shaved 100 % of the time

Please add whatever I am missing... My tom cat wants to go roam around outside and he is driving me nuts with his constant nagging MEOW!!!


Why would you want facts now? This idea has all the requirements of the proof you have been relying on in the past.
Opinion and conjecture......Your side should jump on this as truth with both feet!!!
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 711
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 1:38:41 PM
Thank you Jinx for the kind words...and topchef for some stats, and everyone else for their more "logical" responses...lol..I, after all, only have my memory...lol...

MJ: I think you are a person who sees the world in a very black and white way...and doesn't accept anything that isn't supported by "the facts" ( or, at least the facts as you see them)...there are, as Alpha pointed out, other ways to make intelligent conclusions or express ideas...and as itsmargo said: stats are just a tool, a starting off point..they don't express the reasons behind why they say what they do...that is normally interpreted with critical thinking , and looking at all other sources of information, and actually talking to people who are part of the group being compiled, to get real life experiences...and the sample is never totally representative...because it would be nigh on impossible to poll every person who was a part of that group...

I am very much a "grey" person..there is very little I see as black and white..I am also, in Briggs Meyers terms...an off the chart ENFP..what this means simply is that I am not detail oriented, I make decisions based on how I feel about something more often than not, and I use my intuition to form a lot of my opinions and beliefs, and I am very much a "people" person...my "memory" of how things work at my law firm, isn't about compiling specific numbers to back up what I see to be true..I "intuit" that it is true...and it is just as valid a tool as using numbers, and in my case, the way I operate best...I find people and their experiences to be very valuable for myself in determining trends, or behaviors...

My ex was very much like you..he saw the world in numbers, grids and black and white..anything that didn't fit into this vision was difficult for him to even understand , let alone accept..people who can only see the world from one viewpoint..are generally considered to be narrow minded at best,,,close minded at worst...whichever view it is...I strongly favor the more intuitive way, but do not discount the value of more rational or logical..they both have a place..This profound difference in our way of thinking is the biggest reason we couldn't resolve anything...because I couldn't "prove" to him, in a way he understood, why what I felt was valid...so, he dismissed it as irrelevant, flawed, and weak ( and only in my "memory"...lol)...and he wouldn't consider, at the time, trying to see it from my point of view...he was convinced he was right and I was wrong...

I haven't bashed men in general, I haven't even bashed my ex...just explained how different we were, and why we didn't succeed...at no time did I blame only him, or men in general either...you read into anything that is said that is possibly negative about a man...as saying " all men are bad" and responsible..this is your myopic view, and your blinders...you give lip service to men having any responsibility for the breakdowns in communication, and yet, accuse women of doing the same thing...

Even with all your stats and facts...you do NOT make logical sense in your conclusions, most of the time...but, the real issue here is that you can not stop yourself from doing what you accuse women of doing...blaming a whole gender for the ills of the world...while using unrelated "stats" to supposedly back up your opinion...you are condescending in responding to most women, you have belittled me on several occasions for just having an opinion you don't agree with, you dismiss almost anything I have said out of hand, you are convinced in your "rightness"...and I have to tell you...this kind of behavior from men does upset me enough to eventually initiate a break up..and as alpha said...I have seen this enough that any man who is reasonable, and listens at least, without insulting me, or insisting on my "wrongness" ...really stands head and shoulders above the rest...

Men are not all to blame....but, if you want an answer to why women initiate more break ups...there have been plenty of answers given..and most did not say "ALL" men...you can't seem to accept the fact that sometimes women leave because they aren't happy with the behavior of the man in question..and that some traits we have experienced enough times to wonder if it isn't something common to many men...

BTW: Cheating is wrong. ( One of my few black and white beliefs...lol)...I don't really care who does it more often or not by gender, it's still wrong..but "finding a better guy" does not mean she cheated..reasonable, morally centered adults end one relationship before starting another..you are again, interpreting a "stat" to mean more than it does...you also only had comments on how all those reasons were somehow the result of bad behavior by women...you truly believe men are better by virtue of being male , and that any bad behavior they exhibit had to be "caused" by a woman...where does that inherent misogyny come from?

EDIT to add:

Guys, I can't speak for all women...but, are you sure this is what happens? Because trust me...if I am with someone long term, and come to not like some behavior enough to end it...it is a serious thing...not about some minor flaw...I think some women may express it as minor flaws because many aren't good at articulating what exactly is wrong, or able to even verbalize it...it almost always is a combination of many things, or a general behavior that permeates many areas...I don't know any adult women who really think men are perfect or should be...what they often do think is that there are some specific behaviors they can not live with anymore...and since men can be quite adamant about not changing the status quo, or that there really is any problem..it is a difficult thing to fix..I really think both genders misread each other on a regular basis and come to the wrong conclusions based on their own thought patterns..that's why it's so important to not only communicate , but with an open mind, and less defensiveness...I learned that the hard way...
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 712
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 2:26:03 PM
Ok lets look at this illumination VS support angle.
I have brought facts studies and poll to this "light"

You missed the point of the analogy entirely.

the other side has brought conjecture opinion and the bashing of a whole gender.(men)

I haven't, most others here aren't either, you're projecting. The reality that breakups are due to specific circumstances between two people, and can't be quantified in such a way that you can BLAME one gender for ALL break ups seems to be lost on you and anybody else who tries to paint with a broad brush.

We get it, you're mad at women and want to find things to blame on them.

It would actually be more acceptable if you at least tried to use sound reasoning instead of specious reasoning to back up your position. What you ARE doing is analogous to:

"One plus one equals two, because ice cream has no bones"


Have I failed to comprehend it?

Obviously, as you still cling to the fallacy of causation by correlation.


zangie -> I strongly favor the more intuitive way, but do not discount the value of more rational or logical..


Both work best as complementary tools, ...without intuitive thought, original ideas are impossible, without rational thought to balance out intuition, you are more likely to fall into the trap of confirmation bias.

Confirmation bias happens when people look for data to buttress a presumption rather than come to conclusions based on observed data and observation of the law of parsimony (which means not mixing known data with baseless speculation).

Intuition may tell us that something "sounds valid/invalid", rational thought and logic explains why/why not.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 713
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 2:40:29 PM

Just as I have said not all women are bad just the ones using divorce as way ducking the responsibility that they should be carrying.

I'm curious, what responsibilities are they ducking? How does one determine if it is cowardly ducking or responsible action?
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 714
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 3:03:49 PM

Say what?... You have made an opinion of my IRONIC remark STATING that I am relying on the past?...



It was my attempt at dry wit and irony... You actually BELIEVE that I RELY on the past because of my post???

OMG... This is beyond rediculous...


You really think I missed the dry wit and irony? Did you notice the little dude I put there that was rolling on the floor?
Seems you missed the humor I found it it.....even with a sign!!!!


You do not know me... You have no idea what I think or what my beliefs are or anything like that and you are able to judge me by my standards a very silly remark where I was relpying to Lucky's remark...


Yet you and the others are able to judge me? Can we say double standard?
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 715
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 3:33:46 PM

You missed the point of the analogy entirely.


No I didn't. Don't blame the shoes because you are picking the wrong size. I agree wholeheartedly.
Did you miss the point to mine?
That some shoes are defective and there is no way to know by just looking at them when choosing them.
Even if they chose the correct size the shoes still caused sores on their feet.


I haven't, most others here aren't either, you're projecting. The reality that breakups are due to specific circumstances between two people, and can't be quantified in such a way that you can BLAME one gender for ALL break ups seems to be lost on you and anybody else who tries to paint with a broad brush.


You did try to use critical thinking to prove me wrong while excusing the other side from the same standards.

Sir you are the one trying to paint me with a broad brush.
Show me where I ever said one gender is at fault for ALL breakups!!!


It would actually be more acceptable if you at least tried to use sound reasoning instead of specious reasoning to back up your position. What you ARE doing is analogous to:

"One plus one equals two, because ice cream has no bones"


Not at all never have I just based my stance on the percentages only. The other studies and info shows cause and motives.
Yet you still imply that I am wrong because of the numbers.


Obviously, as you still cling to the fallacy of causation by correlation.


The causation is backed by other info not correlation. See above answer.


Intuition may tell us that something "sounds valid/invalid", rational thought and logic explains why/why not.


You mean like when the numbers alarmed me and I looked for information why the numbers were so lopsided?
And found so much info about the reasons no fault was not a good idea.
That it favored the women.
And when the law was balanced by waiting periods,joint custody,nesting and other non conventional methods the rate went down......and brought the percentages of who filed first closer. Effectively dropping the number of women filing.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 716
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 3:45:02 PM
Yawn - Since you quote ME immediately before the following:
Yet you and the others that have attacked my statements have accepted as fact the word of one person that just works in a law office.
She quoted them from memory and did not collect the info in any kind of regulated way, however you and the others have said her facts are perfectly fine to draw the conclusion she did!!!
I think I am entirely justified in presuming the "you" in your statement is directed at "me."

Therefore, I have to say WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Attack your stats but accept Zangie's? Where do I say anything about Zangie's stats (because that is to whom you refer)? Cite it or STFU. Now I am done with your illogical, self-serving and dangerously limited perspective. You really have some nerve to allege a falsehood. Frankly, I am bemused, but not entirely surprised.

Oh, yeah, have you figured out that you have hijacked the thread because divorce stats (valid or not) are NOT directly related to breakups? Jayzus!
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 717
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 3:56:31 PM

I'm curious, what responsibilities are they ducking? How does one determine if it is cowardly ducking or responsible action?


The start for me would be actually taking the vows seriously.
Realizing it is a lifelong commitment and if they are not ready to see it through don't get married.
This is where MR. Evil's "White party" seems like a good idea!!!

Not jumping ship when the person falls off the pedestal they were put on. Or deciding they have found something better......richer,better looking,younger or the many other reasons that scream it is all about me!!!


There is a show on TV called Bridezilla......I have watched this a few times. Did the tv producers search for the most extreme women I am sure they did.

However watching the show does show how these women handle stress and conflict resolution.

So guys if you are close to getting married watch how she handles others because that is how she will handle you sooner or later.
Remember you are not committed till you say......"I do"!!!!

On the same line of thought the woman can watch the mans involvement in the wedding may be a good sign of how attentive he will be in the marriage.

Seeing as Alpha has said it is the two that are the experts........ this may be a last chance to see if marrying this person is really what you want.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 718
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 4:13:50 PM

I think I am entirely justified in presuming the "you" in your statement is directed at "me."

Therefore, I have to say WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Attack your stats but accept Zangie's? Where do I say anything about Zangie's stats (because that is to whom you refer)? Cite it or STFU. Now I am done with your illogical, self-serving and dangerously limited perspective. You really have some nerve to allege a falsehood. Frankly, I am bemused, but not entirely surprised.

Oh, yeah, have you figured out that you have hijacked the thread because divorce stats (valid or not) are NOT directly related to breakups? Jayzus


Ok no problem.......You diffidently said my stats were bogus and as you pointed out you did not attack Zangies!!!!!

So if you are truly against "bad stats" why wouldn't you take on hers as well? It seemed to me by omitting to call zangie on her stats you gave them some validity.
If this is not the case where is Zangies admonishment for her even more flimsy stats?
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 719
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 4:59:20 PM

You missed the point of the analogy entirely.

No I didn't. Don't blame the shoes because you are picking the wrong size. I agree wholeheartedly.
No, that wasn't the point, unless you ignore what an analogy is and take the declaritive statment on face value ....which is not "getting" the analogy. Which is: CORRELATION DOES NOT IMPLY CAUSATION.

Did you miss the point to mine?

No, and I identified it as a false analogy, and why.

You did try to use critical thinking to prove me wrong while excusing the other side from the same standards.

No, further, you also seem to have a disconnect with the fallacy of proving a negative BTW.

Sir you are the one trying to paint me with a broad brush.

Do you understand how absurd your misapplication of the brush analogy is?

Show me where I ever said one gender is at fault for ALL breakups!

No need, your blame via gender is self evident in your entire modus operendi

Not at all never have I just based my stance on the percentages only. The other studies and info shows cause and motives.
Yet you still imply that I am wrong because of the numbers.

Non sequitur, you are still trying to apply specious reasoning to data, I'm not and have not NEEDED to address the data at all because your reasoning itself is specious.


The causation is backed by other info not correlation. See above answer.

See the above reply.

That it favored the women.

Bias confirmation, ...see your first post (and follow the fallacious reasoning from the source) on this thread for why it's self evident.


Sexist User ---> Oh, yeah, have you figured out that you have hijacked the thread because divorce stats (valid or not) are NOT directly related to breakups? Jayzus!


You can lead a horse to water....
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 720
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 5:39:36 PM

The number of women filing are higher by a massive number.
SO what????!!!


There are people filing for frivolous reasons of both sexes. The disparity in the number of filings would mean that women do this more.


What is frivolous to you, may be vital to someone else. Who are you (or anyone else) to judge what is frivolous and what is not?

What you seem to be having trouble understanding is this? Just because women take initiative in filing for divorce, does not mean they are more fully the cause for the need to divorce in the first place.

Have you ever heard the saying.... it takes 2 to tango! Of course you have....that was somewhat rhetorical. Maybe women just get tired of dancing by themselves sooner than a guy.

How can you not see that regardless of who initiates a break up, files for divorce or is the first to pack their bags, whatever transpired between 2 people, each person holds a share of the responsibility for the breakup. NO ONE, is 100% innocent in the demise of a relationship.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 721
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 6:47:06 PM

What is frivolous to you, may be vital to someone else. Who are you (or anyone else) to judge what is frivolous and what is not?


You are 100% right this is what I have said all along!!!!
So in the case of no-fault where just one can force a divorce and a court mandated split of the assets, Shouldn't the other person have a change to have a say?



Have you ever heard the saying.... it takes 2 to tango! Of course you have....that was somewhat rhetorical. Maybe women just get tired of dancing by themselves sooner than a guy.

How can you not see that regardless of who initiates a break up, files for divorce or is the first to pack their bags, whatever transpired between 2 people, each person holds a share of the responsibility for the breakup. NO ONE, is 100% innocent in the demise of a relationship.


I wish you would explain this to the ones in your gender that have decided all men are evil.
As well as the ones that believes men are a defective product.


Comparative responsibility divides the fault among parties by percentages, and then accordingly divides the money awarded to the plaintiff. The plaintiff may only recover the percentage of the damages he is not at fault for. If a plaintiff is found to be 25% at fault, he can recover only 75% of his damages.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 722
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 6:59:10 PM

You are 100% right this is what I have said all along!!!!
So in the case of no-fault where just one can force a divorce and a court mandated split of the assets, Shouldn't the other person have a change to have a say?


If this is what you have been trying to say, you have issues with your communication skills. Your posts are so verbose, the message is muddied. Try to be more succinct. It may help.

In a no fault divorce....let's see how that would work....

Her: I want a divorce, you dont want to have sex any more and I cant live in a sexless marriage.

Him: But I dont want a divorce, I am happy with our sexless marriage, You have no right to your frivolous demands that we have a sexual relationship.

Her: Tell me where it says I have to stay in a sexless marriage.

Him: You promised to love, honor and cherish (thank god they removed obey about 30 years ago).

Her: It should have been love, honor and have sex at least 3 times a week, I'm outta here.

Frivolous or not....stay or go. Pretty clear to me.

It is doubtful if you respond I will be able to respond back since I am the only one who seems to be confined to 2 posts in 10 on this thread.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 723
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 7:08:39 PM

The new relatively new laws that I am speaking of has no fault only it demands that both agree for it to be quick. If not there is a 5-7 year waiting period before the divorce can be granted.
That way if it is a attempt to grab half the assets and run it gives the other party time to catch up emotionally and financially protecting their standard of living and gender does not have any bearing on this.


I look, but have not found these just the one I posted the link to.


Would you not agree that is fair? If both want it and can come to a agreeable split of the assets the divorce can be quick and painless as possible. If not the party that feels like they are being taken advantage of has recourse.
This way no one's rights are violated.


On the surface it does sound good, but the reality is that the one that wants to be vindictive can hold up a divorce just because - even No Fault divorce. That would have been my exes (damn, that bad picker of mine). The first didn't want a divorce. He was drinking, drugging, sleeping around and finally pushed me to the point where I left. Would you believe he asked me to wait till he got it out of his system?

I was the one that kept the divorce fair (truly a bizzare tale, email if you want details). I did such a good job that the judge (a man by the way) scolded me and tried to get me to reduce the equity that the ex would get on the house, raise the child support, take part of his business, etc. I declined.

You repeatedly ask why women file more often. We can only share our experiences. Mr Evil and I have said the kind of person that screws another person is not going to be in here bragging.
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 724
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 7:09:48 PM
Hey gang what where we talking about? Oh yeh, I remember now.

Well, its all irrelevant anyway...you see back in'97 I predicted the economic situation we are in now....after carefully watching things, it seems the business leaders and gov. don't see what the problem is and are continuing their charades...

So, I am predicting a major depression in 3 years....Yes, tents and soup bowls will be the big hit for Christmas around then.

This depression will lead to world wide kaos...eventually we will turn back the hands of time to a world that once was...the way things were.

So, maybe the movie's Soylent Green and Mad Max weren't so far fetched after all.
 111Enigma
Joined: 2/6/2010
Msg: 725
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 5/6/2010 7:10:38 PM
OP: Because 80% of the women had to deal with guys similar to mjyawn67....


P.A.
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