Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 76
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Page 4 of 54    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

I have NEVER said there are not good women out there. Not once. In fact I know many of them. The problem is that they are not in the majority, despite what you say.

I never said you thought there were no good women; nor did I say that good women are in the majority. Stop changing the subject every time you answer.


Your perspective is sheltered because you are a female and do not have to see what a man does. I used to see women everyday by the dozens who suffered a compulsion to match up with violent and aggressive males that abuse them. I gave up counseling because I got sick of seeing the same stupid behavior over and over and over and over again.

I see, MY answers are skewed because I'm FEMALE, but YOUR answers are spot-on-- despite the FACT that you DEAL with mostly ABUSED women?! ARGH--you have a weird sense of logic. Your average guy doesn't come into contact with dozens of abused women every day, either. So how come you don't say THEIR views are "sheltered"?


What I have a problem with is that female culture has some very negative and blinding views on the abuses heaped on men who are trying to help them.

Do you see my pointing out inconsistencies in your arguments as part of the greater "female culture" which inflicts "abuses" upon you? You do know that I am ONE woman, not all women, right?


You cannot continue to bad mouth men for womens foolish choices.

I'm not--I'm telling you your views are wrong, and you are seeing and mentioning ONLY the crazies out there and extrapolating that ALL women are like this. I dare say there are HUNDREDS OF DOZENS of women out there who are not abused by their SOs, but you IGNORE all of those just to make your point. Your point seems to be that women love abuse ("to be treated like dirt"). AND THAT IS NOT TRUE.


If your logic was true then there would not be so many so called "nice guys" that are single, and apparently abhored by women in the larger dating pool who call such men a bunch of whinners and wussies.

Oh, now I get it! NICE GUY RANT! Even men don't agree with your "nice guy" theory. How's that gonna feel when your worldview tpped on its ear?! That makes everything else fall into place. Good luck with that. The only upside to this is that I get a shot of tequila.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 77
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:47:23 PM
(CassaGo) Your average guy doesn't come into contact with dozens of abused women every day, either. So how come you don't say THEIR views are "sheltered"?


Well, you're right, in a sense.

However, women aren't either/or: EITHER they're abused, OR they're pristine, with that new-car smell, and no problems under the hood. Some people can be weird, and unpleasant to deal with, WITHOUT having to go to a woman's shelter.

Bimbly

(you have to admit, a woman who writes to the Night Strangler isn't exactly normal).
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 78
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:59:25 PM

(you have to admit, a woman who writes to the Night Strangler isn't exactly normal).


...and that's why women initiate the breakup 80% of the time!!! Eureka!!

(gotta love how far off topic things get in an effort to prove points)
 Impossible Made Possible
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 79
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:09:04 PM
In my 10 year studyof relationships it showed that its more like 70% to 30% with guys breaking up more.

If you included "mental breakups" then guys would swamp the catagory to like 90%. Guys won't officially breakup most times because they still use a girl for sex, money, or emotional crutches or due to pure fear of the breakup process. Girls tend to breakup because the man is already gone but he hasn't said so "officially".
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 80
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/9/2009 11:42:46 PM

If you included "mental breakups" then guys would swamp the catagory to like 90%. Guys won't officially breakup most times because they still use a girl for sex, money, or emotional crutches or due to pure fear of the breakup process. Girls tend to breakup because the man is already gone but he hasn't said so "officially".


I think a lot of us have been trying to say this. Thank you.

wannashakeyourtree, there are many women that know about women that abuse men and I'm sorry that we are too quiet about it.
 spunkybum52
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 81
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:07:51 AM
Do women? I'm not sure about that. I think men go through mid life crisis & male menopause and have a thing about getting old, and have a big ego and when a younger woman looks at them.... wow.... they pop! Its not all women....
 nebula22
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 82
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:00:39 AM
Some friends and I was talking while at the last music festival..
There was 8 guys and out of us all we discovered that each of our marriages was destroyed by our wives cheating on us..
We talked about how the women claim the men cheat most often but the women are really the ones who cheat the most.

I believe this is the real reson why women initiate the breakup more often than men..

Women cheat and lie about cheating...
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 83
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:17:29 AM
So instead of arguing the facts which are clear in this case, how about some of you women come clean and just tell us why?

The "facts" as you call them are not "facts", that's why people--not just women--argued them, that 80% thing is a made-up "fact", not a statistic. If you start a premise based on a faulty base, how can it be argued without pointing out that the basis is wrong?!

I think all you need do is read through, what, 7 pages of previous "testimony" as to why each woman does what she does? Basically, it comes down to "fed up with his behavior and thinks it will be easier living without him". This isn't rocket science.
 nebula22
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 84
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:29:02 AM
I know a young couple who married a year ago..
They are now getting a divorce because SHE cheated on him and LIED.....
 lawgeek74
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 85
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:31:58 AM
Women have unrealistic expectations of what marriage is. Too much emphasis on the wedding and not enough on the marriage. Men don't not allow them to pressure you when you are not ready. More so when they are not ready. Don't think because she wants it she is ready. Test her! Even when you do know it is not a good idea to get married. Resist the nester pressure.
 newstart67
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 86
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:55:13 AM
very well put for someone so young ... ur parents must of shown n brought u up well ...as for the subject , i find that we as men thru the years have made women more prone to not be serious . cheating is the major fault. but on the same point is women now adays get caught up into being independent(noting wrong with that) but never opens up to give a relationship the us not I attitude..i have found now that i been single again .. women are more n more as men have been for years ... commitment is a word of the past.. people dont get to know each other before they have sex ... bad move for this causes the destruction of a possible relationship ..(thats my view on it)
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 87
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 12:19:25 PM
Wife up for Adoption

Wife up for adoption to a good home. 2 for 1 deal as she is the size of two women.

Skills include watching TV, eating, wasting money, complaining, yelling at myself and the kids, and cheating on me while I am at work.

She is also excellent at pointing out faults and shortcomings but this feature comes with a bonus! According to her she has no faults of her own so this makes her perfect.

Dislikes are work of any kind, having sex within the marriage, anything that requires effort, intelligence, compassion, or understanding. She is truly a modern woman!

Check out one of her personal ads and you are in like Flint, it doesn't matter if you have a job as she will just use some of the money out of our family budget to pay for your date.

Feel free to take her home and keep her, as it will save me the cost of a divorce lawyer.

- seen on Craig's List
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 88
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 12:27:35 PM
Where do you get the 80%?
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 89
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 12:49:40 PM
Why do women reject more? - Because they can, they have the power.

Beauty = power

They know relationships better = power

Love is a power also, he who is loved most has the power = both men and women

Money = men used to have the power circa 1950... not anymore... power = 0

There are a few other powers, such as status/fame... but both men and woman can have this.

Score: women 3, men 1.

But it's not as bad as it looks... love is the biggest power. And if you find a fatty... who cares if she leaves?! LOL! Plus, men can increase thier knowledge about women. But from birth, it's generally more of a woman's game.
 bobbajobba
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 90
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:03:10 PM

Where do you get the 80%?

read the earlier posts, plus (added bonus) be honest. no, asking too much there...
just read the earlier posts, all will be good
 bobbajobba
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 91
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/13/2009 9:27:56 PM
Took care of that strawman for ya (or is that a red herring?


msg 161
gad..missed this braindead sweetie...what a riposte, amazing. Finish
3rd grade, girl? no? look out, she has an abby-normal brain handpicked by Susan Atkins.
One dumb b* that heard on Sesame St. there is some connection btwn the scarecrow in Oz and a fishing boat...look out Hrvd Debate, here come da judg'
 bobbajobba
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 92
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/13/2009 10:22:21 PM
yeah right like men are NEVER fickle. i find men are way more fickle than women.


new study by the Rockefeller Institute for Global Perpetual Dating ( $300 mil, 5 years in the making, Nobel Prize stuff, babe) sez:
10 out of 10 men find that women are more fickle than men. Now what d'ya
say to them apples, Eris, u sweet goddess of discord? bring 'em out, girl
 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 93
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/13/2009 10:39:00 PM
It's an interesting question. Let's assume you're right about the 80%. Here are some possible reasons:

1) Men are more likely to ignore problems in the relationship in order to keep getting sex.
2) Women usually expect relationships to grow and deepen over time. Men often don't. Men are often happy to let things stay loose, and are reluctant to commit. This turns many women off.
3) Women, when unhappy, end the relationship. Men, when unhappy, cheat.
4) Women often have stronger social support networks then men do. When a relationship ends, a woman can often take comfort in her friends. Men are more likely to be lonely and miserable.

I think of the ones I lsited, #2 is probably the most important. In a perfect world, I think many--if not most--guys would be prefectly happy having a number of FWB relationships rather than a committed, LTR. Women usually want a commitment. I think this is the source of much of the tensions that leads to break ups.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 94
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/13/2009 11:20:48 PM

So instead of arguing the facts which are clear in this case, how about some of you women come clean and just tell us why? Is it that you really don't know??? Are you afraid of incriminating yourselves in some way...painting yourselves in some negative light???


WANTED.....Husband needs new home, won't someone please take my husband soon!!
-He used to make me laugh.........now he mostly makes me cry.
-He used to be anxious to get home from work and always kissed me on the back of my neck....now he flops on the couch and in a very monotone voice asks when dinner will
be ready.
-He always wanted to cuddle and/or make love at bedtime........now he rolls over and says "not tonight," so I've stopped asking for any type of affection or sex.
-He always offered to help or offered to completely prepare dinner for us........now he leaves it all up to me and never compliments me on what I've prepared anymore.
-He always took an interest in how our children were doing in school.........now he rarely talks to them and leaves all the parenting responsibilities to me.
-He always helped plan family leisure time and events, so our children could have the feeling of a close family bond.......now I feel like the pressure to hold the family together is all on me and I'm dragging along another kid who is a full grown man.
-We always planned an evening for just us a couple times a month, without the kids.......but now he thinks it's just silly for us to have a date/night on the town. He would rather meet the guys at the local sports pub.
-He never notices or compliments me anymore when I get my hair done, buy a new outfit or take special care to look good for him.
-He always remembered my birthday and our anniversary and planned something special......now I'm lucky if he even remembers to say happy birthday/anniversay.
-He always use to help with the housework when I was working full-time outside the home, now he has become accustomed to me doing all the housework, cooking, laundry, minor house repairs while being a stay-at-home mom.........now I'm just burning out trying to do it all and work a full-time job, while he sits in his easy chair after his day at work. He now acts like a kid with his expectations.......and holy crap, he ain't never gonna leave home.
-When we go out......he spends more time looking at other women than paying attention to me.
-He always made me feel like I was an important part of his life............now he mostly just stares right through me.

Won't somebody please take my husband..............I will be happy to deliver him right to your home at no cost to you.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 95
view profile
History
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/14/2009 8:36:57 AM

new study by the Rockefeller Institute for Global Perpetual Dating ( $300 mil, 5 years in the making, Nobel Prize stuff, babe) sez:
10 out of 10 men find that women are more fickle than men.

Gotta link? I searched for this but couldn't find it.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 96
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/14/2009 11:07:05 AM

The cost of living dictates that both men and women have to work to pay expenses. This is where the issues start. Many women have to work full time, come home and have the full burden of being a full time housewife too. Resentment,anger, and exhaustion kick in causing her to diminish her loving feelings towards her man.


BINGO, this rings true for a lot of women I've known that make the decision to separate and divorce. When a wife/mother finds herself in the position of "burn out" and a husband that has the same expectations of her as her children do, it's time to think about your mental health. The children will eventually leave home and tend to their own needs, but the husband will forever expect the unpaid labor she's provided within their home.

If men expect women to partipate in the paid labour to make their lives financially stable, why then can't men participate more in the unpaid labour in the home. I've heard men say, if I have to participate in the unpaid labour in the home, then she becomes nothing more than a room-mate.

So, she initiates divorce, buys herself a smaller home with less responsibility, limits her time with her grown children, learns to do the things that her ex-husband use to do in the relationship which was sitting in the easy chair after a days's work, stays active in the workforce which then provides a comfortable retirement.
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 97
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/14/2009 6:30:14 PM

Men now want us to pay on dates, work full time ...


Actually, that is what women wanted! Now quit your whining!!
 bobbajobba
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 98
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:30:50 PM
On this topic I'd say a majority of women have something to gain from advorce (sic a divorce)


yeh, the man that marries is taking a huge risk..kids, car(s), house, future income
50% dvc rate, she files twice as often as the man, and new studies show more women
cheat then men. why? coz they can. Dvc courts today b dedicated to destroying men.

Think twice b4 you do this marriage thing (esp. if its a SECOND marriage, more likely than the first to fail, no question...woman totally looking for another $$payout spigot as they get older and more desperate for $$). Am not against marriage, at least as it used to be defined decades ago. Just sick of seeing desperate guys get married and then ripped off blind in this new era of "lifelong marriage" that isn't so "lifelong".
Won't happen to U? uh huh , always the other 50%, yah.
Question is, gents: R U against U getting ripped off? maybe most guys just like to suffer. Marriage is fine, that used to mean lifelong committment. NO MORE. Can u get this thru your thick heads? You are getting killed in the dvc courts, it's a bloody wasteland out there. Shut the f* up that it's not, most surely is-- truth.

Unfortunately "lifelong, committed" marriage today ends in divorce and ruination @ flip of a coin (50%) in avg. of 7 years, flip the coin as to whether you will be on the receiving end of dvc and ruination. good bet? want yer kids to be raised by another guy on your $$ while she sleeps w the bum that wrecked yer marriage? cool. If yer down w it, who's to argue? Bend over and let's give u a real good spankin' w a rusty nail paddle, you'll smile and laugh like it's yer 5th bday party.

Men today, sad to say, deserve the can of a**-whup they b gettin' from women and their "friends" in the dvc courts. Wise up? nope. Hunchback wussdowns tied to the whippin' post and lovin' every minute of it. At least Quasimodo knew better than to like it too much.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 99
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/16/2009 8:14:38 PM
JMO, it's men who initiate the breakup 80% of the time. Usually it's the woman who has enough balls to end it, and by that time her mental health is hanging by a thin thread.
 bobbajobba
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 100
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/16/2009 10:08:09 PM
Usually it's the woman who has enough balls to end it


uh huh..as u say > so usually it's the woman..who ends it. what I said.
thx
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?