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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?      Home login  
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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 176
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Page 8 of 54    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

What *I* suspect is that your friend talked with a good lawyer and got the advice that it was better to offer a seemingly significant amount of money as opposed to taking the adversarial, lawyer led, route, which would have meant your friend would have had to give up far more in addition to paying for legal fees.

Sounds to me like she got a deal. She's smart, he's an idiot, which is also very typical in separation/divorce. She gets good legal advice while he believes the legal system is like a hockey game which has rules and fair play is the way opponents engage....

She was a senior parallegal at the time for a family lawyer. The only place her money would have went if she didn't hand over a certain lump sum to her soon to be ex to settle and move on was to a lawyer and court fees. She paid most of the bills in her situation.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 177
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/15/2010 8:18:36 PM
Capitano, can't you see that partners ALWAYS see the fault in the other? Perhaps if you would truly listen, you'd hear more than blather. Perhaps it is because men see things this way that communication can't exist? Perhaps it is not only women who are the problem. Possible? C'mon, you're too old for this shit!
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 178
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/15/2010 8:58:34 PM
Statistics do show that men remarry faster than women, and they show that men who are married live longer & more often profess to be happy (whatever that means) but numbers, as always, don't tell us why. People need people, generally, so really, who cares? I mean, we're all here (pof), aren't we? I admit I miss the days when I didn't have to pay for an oil change, but I certainly wouldn't marry (or date, sleep with, etc.) just so I didn't have to, and I have never "freaked out" over my broken vehicle. I simply found a reputable mechanic!
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 179
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/15/2010 10:32:07 PM
Well there you go, see how easy the answers are!

"Percentages are nothing but numbers" post #304

"the numbers themselves say nothing" post #330

"Statistics do show that men remarry faster than women"

Now color me crazy again, but aren't statistics just numbers? In fact aren't statistics based on the percentages? Hmmmm, seems they mean something to prove one point, but then again, they don't mean the same thing when proving another. Guess it's that new math that I don't understand, must be only gender specific!!

"and they show that men who are married live longer & more often profess to be happy"

Well who knows why that segment live longer, at any rate with a 50%+ divorce rate for first marriages, a 60%+ rate for seconds, and 70% of all those divorces initated by women, I guess most of those men won't have to worry about living longer!! Moreover it makes no difference whether he's happy, if she leaves rather than work things out, he ain't gonna be happy for long!

I will agree on 2 things though, I agree marrying, dating, or having sex to get your oil changed wouldn't make much sense, cost aside. Second yes, we're all here, and who knows why. Some just for sex, some to find a new SO, some just to date. Frankly with all the angst I see and read about on the forums, I often wonder why we stay. I guess in the end, I have my reasons, others have theirs and the wheel spins round and round. Some get out lucky, some just get out.
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 180
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 4:53:20 AM

How many times i've heard single women whose car won't start, have a flat, something broke at the house, etc. just freaking out and wishing a man was there. Plus many women feel safer and more secure with a guy around. I think women generally need a man just as much if not more.


Yep AAA is $100 a year. I used to listen to a female bemoan everything male. So when she needed her sink unclogged or a roofing job done I would tell her to look for a female company since men were always the bane of her conversation. I would aslo utter something like "A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle" Seriously did you ever try and find a female roofing crew? Not easy. Female Plumber after hours? Good luck.

Whenever I would see who she hired I would ask her why she didn't help out the female bretheren? Never had an answer for that. To her Men were just convenient scapegoats for her vitroil rants.
 *closer
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 181
how come men tolerate insufferable relationships 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 5:48:17 AM

meanwhile, the guy's thought process goes something like this: ______________. before ya know it, she's asking for a divorce and he is clueless that anything was wrong.


LOL...Come on,give men some credit.They aren't that dense.And women aren't that insecure unless given reason.My ex knows exactly why I ended our 25 year marriage.

I was 100% to blame for having found my dignity and self respect after years of constant invalidation and verbal abuse.I guess that bag of fried chicken he whipped at my head,woke my a$$ up finally to the reality that I wasn't worthy of respect in his mind.Ok then...GTF out. :)

Best part? I was the financial provider,who wisely kept my money separate from his the entire 25 years. Long before our marriage we had signed an a iron clad Prenup to protect both of our future earnings.We are in a No-Fault state and there was no cheating or abandonment. I kept my house,all my assets and our kids are shared jointly. But,he didn't even have to pay child support..EVER..all he had to do was leave.

Life is much better when you stand up for your rights....especially if it ends a Toxic relationship.

Doesn't really matter who decides to cut losses first or what leads up to it,as long as two people can't coexist peacefully,why stay betrayal bonded to someone you just don't love anymore?

Codependency NO MORE.

I think that's why either sex tolerates insufferable marriages...and only the person with more COURAGE to end it....ends it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 182
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 6:40:21 AM
How many times i've heard single women whose car won't start, have a flat, something broke at the house, etc. just freaking out and wishing a man was there. Plus many women feel safer and more secure with a guy around. I think women generally need a man just as much if not more.

All those things can be learned by women or someone can be hired to do it, the gender that shows up to fix something is irrelevant when money is exchanged. A lot of men use male mechanics and plumbers. The feeling that you're safer with a man around is false too - many rapists and serial killers have either waited for a man to leave the house before entering, followed a woman elsewhere or known the man was there and planned to deal with him first.

When it really counts depending on yourself is what it's all about. If you can't do that, your existence is compromised to some extent.

Men are like ice cream - a great treat once in a while but not a requirement to survive. And of course women aren't needed for men to survive either, obviously so it's not one sided.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 183
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 6:47:07 AM
I heard yesterday, in a relationship, when a man says NO, it means end of discussion, and when a woman says NO, it means negiotiations have begun. I think men just ignore a woman's requests or needs for sometimes years and coasting along until she just gives up on him. In any of my break ups, money does not even come into the picture.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 184
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 6:51:50 AM

Geez... So... why on earth do any of us ever got married again??? Oh yea... wasn't love supposed to be part of the equation?



of course...

have you ever hear of the saying "Love is a moment of insanity best cured by marriage?"
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 185
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 8:17:35 AM

I heard yesterday, in a relationship, when a man says NO, it means end of discussion, and when a woman says NO, it means negiotiations have begun.

I agree with this, except one thing - it happens outside relationships as well. A lot of men just don't see a woman's no as final for some odd reason.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 186
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 8:29:05 AM
Well, I've been following along for a couple of days...just shaking my head.

I won't engage in the gender war but only offer my own experiences.

Wife #1: She was adulterous. In my mind, that is 'what' initiated the breakup regardless of whatever circumstances led up to her decision to do so. It was her decision to cheat rather than discuss 'our issues' (and before you ask, NO she didn't "say" it and I just didn't "hear" it). I stayed in the home while trying to evaluate my future. As well, I contacted an attorney to ask about my chances of getting custody of my kids if I moved out to which I was told, it would greatly impact my chances. So I stayed while trying to formulate a plan, examine my income and options for a place to live, investigate custody/child support laws, etc. etc. So yup, at that point, you bet your azz I was checked out of the marriage. That is when she got an attorney and did the filing.

Wife #2: She had already moved out...took just about everything with her as I just didn't care at that point and didn't want to fight/argue over 'stuff'. One of the things she took when she left, was a bedroom suite for her son which I was left with the bill and she agreed to pay me for it. After 3 or 4 months of separation, she called and asked when am I going to file? My response was, "when I can afford to...if you send me the money for the bedroom suite, I'll do it the same week". So, rather than that, I agreed that she could pay to file and not owe me the money. So she did.

I guess my point is, it doesn't make a hill-of-beans difference 'who' files. That statistic IMO doesn't mean jack in regards to the breakdown of a relationship, its dynamics, whose 'fault' it was, blah blah blah. Men cheat. Women cheat. Both are guilty of being abusive. Both have personality disorders and addictions. Both get lazy or, become argumentative or, turn selfish or, let themselves go, or, or, or, or.

*still shaking head*






~ds~
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 187
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 9:01:12 AM
I heard yesterday, in a relationship, when a man says NO, it means end of discussion, and when a woman says NO, it means negiotiations have begun.

I agree with this, except one thing - it happens outside relationships as well. A lot of men just don't see a woman's no as final for some odd reason.


Very true womaninprogress. I am dealing with that right now here at POF with a man wanting me to guarantee him a sexual relationship with his promise of a "relationship" in the first 2 messages saying that's just how he rolls. He prides himself on being blunt and to the point about his high sex drive. No matter how nicely I tell him I am not interested in casual meaningless sex with strangers. He continues to write now acting all insulted. Obviously he is not relationship material.
As women we have been taught to be nice, and polite - be sensitive to others. So when we say something to a man, it's not taken seriously, and disregarded as "the little lady just doesn't know what she wants and needs me to tell her." Sometimes I wonder if the men that advertise they want a woman who is "drama free" really mean they want a pushover that doesn't talk back.

Many times women are making valiant and repeated efforts to communicate that there is a problem in the relationship, but men choose to play the "see no evil, hear no evil" until she gets so resentful she ends it by turning to more drastic measures.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 188
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 9:07:58 AM

As women we have been taught to be nice, and polite - be sensitive to others

Again, NOT gender specific as I was raised the same way. Perhaps it's our parents' fault, eh?




~ds~
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 189
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 10:35:02 AM
Yep AAA is $100 a year. I used to listen to a female bemoan everything male. So when she needed her sink unclogged or a roofing job done I would tell her to look for a female company since men were always the bane of her conversation. I would aslo utter something like "A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle" Seriously did you ever try and find a female roofing crew? Not easy. Female Plumber after hours? Good luck.

Whenever I would see who she hired I would ask her why she didn't help out the female bretheren? Never had an answer for that. To her Men were just convenient scapegoats for her vitroil rants.
That's pretty funny. You should have told her she is 'paying' for the 'services' of men!! OUCH!


All those things can be learned by women or someone can be hired to do it, the gender that shows up to fix something is irrelevant when money is exchanged. A lot of men use male mechanics and plumbers. The feeling that you're safer with a man around is false too - many rapists and serial killers have either waited for a man to leave the house before entering, followed a woman elsewhere or known the man was there and planned to deal with him first.
A man that knows how to do a lot of stuff can save a woman TONS of money. Yes you can hire everything out but you are also paying for that service and profit margin. If you have a guy that can handle most things that's more money in your pocket to use on other things.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 190
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 10:46:24 AM

A man that knows how to do a lot of stuff can save a woman TONS of money. Yes you can hire everything out but you are also paying for that service and profit margin. If you have a guy that can handle most things that's more money in your pocket to use on other things.


of course if both the husband and wife are working and making good money.

i've known some folks to just hire maids and repair men to do all the work...

so the couple can have more time together instead of doing all that other work which takes time and keeps them from focusing on each other.,
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 191
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 11:28:46 AM

Treselle, I would disagree that "men need women more than women need men....."

I agree. She just forgot two words:" for sex".
Otherwise, it's pretty much even.
Touche!

Definately gone are the days where either gender totally relied on the other to do something for each other that the other couldn't/wouldn't do.

"This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land"..

.. Jim Morrison.. The End ..
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 192
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 12:21:27 PM
(sigh) guess I was wrong about women having better communication skills as evidenced by:

"A lot of men just don't see a woman's no as final for some odd reason."

Now while I may understand this in terms of a first email, first date, or a sexual gaurantee of any kind, this is really NOT the topic of debate when reading the thread title. "how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?"

When someone contacts you, to email, to date, to have sex, PRIOR to dating, living together or haveing a relationship of any kind(I will azzume we understand the difference in early contact and relationship), ALL women, and for that matter men, are entitled to say "no" for whatever reason they want.

Now as to hear no evil, etc., yes some men are dumb, deaf and blind, as I pointed out in an earlier post. But as others have said, when there are problems BOTH need to address them, discuss them and HEAR each other. Further though, many women, once the man engages, as has been pointed out, choose to see it as an invitation to talk at him, instead of with him. This phenomenon is no different for men, than the not listening at all that women experience.

Further discussion, implies as exchange of ideas, views and opinions. Not a "we gotta talk", which basically means, you listen, I b1tch. I can't count the number of times, I've heard, witnessed, been part of or seen, a woman speak her piece, then get that "glad we got that settled" look and get up and walk away, as though what ever she said was God's given word from the mount.

As angry as you might have been at his behavior, oversight, dismissal of your complaint. Once he starts to talk and listen, you don't OWN the discussion. Neither does he.

In addition, allowing problems to slide and fester, only builds resentment in you, anger at him and ends up by being a lecture and not a discussion.

So to sum it up, it is incumbent on both to START from day 1, that you agree to be exclusive, that when something bothers each of you, you be an adult and say something. To talk not only about what's on TV tonight, the dinner menu, the day at work, but what's going on with, for and against each of you as regards each other. If you can't do this, don't want to, afraid to or feel it will inhibit the warm and fuzzies or the great sex you've been having. DON'T GET IN A RELATIONSHIP, it will only end badly.

Easy huh?

EDIT to add: of course what I have described has nothing to do with those with mental issues, or drug or alcohol abuse, controlling or any of the myriad of other complaints about those who are a dozen fries short of a happy meal. While attraction and love may blind or infatuate you for a time, it's really on you man or woman alike, if you continue to stay in that situation. Yes men can be mean and spiteful, so to can women, as my 2 state lifetime protective order against my ex proves.
 x_file_
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 193
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 2:12:49 PM

"Treselle, I would disagree that "men need women more than women need men....."


I agree. She just forgot two words:" for sex".
Otherwise, it's pretty much even.



LOL!

Men WANT women more than women WANT men for sex. There is a big difference between "want" and "need".

And it's not pretty much even. I have not seen a woman car mechanic, a woman electrician, a woman contribution worker, or a woman pilot. For that matter, I haven't seen a woman who can handle a crisis. Most of them cry when they break a nail - and not real nail, but a fake one. I'm exaggerating for effect, but not by much.

Since most of the world runs on electricity, most of it is dependent on transportation, and nearly the entire world is dependent on construction, I'd say women NEED men more than men NEED women. Women have needed men since recorded time - from the planes in Africa, to the modern world - and even more so in the modern world.




how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?


I think because a woman knows there is another schmuck right around the corner who she can "attract" by showing a bit of "skin" and with cunning, but otherwise, manipulative hints about an itch that she doesn't even have.
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 194
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how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 5:01:29 PM
Because Men are never recognized for any of their contributions.

When those kids need to go to the dentist or the Doctor the father if he is the sole provider is the one who is providing the benefit and if they divorce he will still get stuck with the bill but not the benefit of having those children around but on average 4 days a month.

I can hire a nanny and it is cheaper when/if I get divorced then having someone who can at any time say I am through and walk away with half despite in a lot of cases doing nothing more then picking up and dropping off and feeding kids McDonalds Meals that the Nanny could just as easily have done.

If the father was staying at home and doing what is typical of most American Housewives and then filing for divorce after sitting in a house and watching Oprah and the Victimization Channel all day would we be saying the same thing is fair? I don't think so.

The problem with divorce is past sacrifices suddenly become obligations which if the couple had stayed together would be much more palatable then when someone has in essence milked the system and now everyone feels so sorry for poor.... and the only one that suffers is the one paying or responsible for the bills

Men truely are the disposable sex.

In this past week we lost 29 miners in West Virginia. How many of those were females?
Should we go onto the Iraq/Afganistan war and the countless number of men killed and maimed or injured?
How many men get killed daily commuting to and from work, falling off skyscrapers or to the other 24 deadly occupations that men are primarily the blood and guts of.

If Child raising was so undervalued I bet I could easily show you just as many men that would gladly change roles with their wives then not. Divorce is like a perfect example of Socialism. It is great as long as someone else is paying the bill or doing the dirty and hard work.

This is but one example of exactly how I feel and I am sure the re are many other out there too Warren Farell does an excellent summary in his book on the "Myth of male power" http://martynemko.blogspot.com/2008/10/men-disposable-sex_09.html
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 195
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 5:11:23 PM
The irony from the past few posts- is that there are fewer men in this world than women.

Men live shorter lives, more men in history have been killed in wars and such.

I believe men, especially in western 1st world countries have bought into the idea that men are not as valuable as we are.

Men have begun to buy into this attitude that anything a man can do, a woman can do.

this is flat not true.

it just is a complete lie - yet we've bought into it.

Men truly do have the power in this world, always have and always will...

I think this is part of the reason that perhaps more women initiate the break up than men...because women have bought into that same idea...
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 196
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 6:52:46 PM

I'd rather make my own money and pay for required services than feel like I need the contribution of a man to run my own household. It seems simpler in the long run.
Well it appears men are just useless as weeds. Don't need em for sex. Don't need em to fix things. Don't need em to have kids. Don't need em to protect you. Don't need em period. Let's all go gay guys......we're not wanted here.
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 197
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 7:41:18 PM
"If you want to believe you are needed, go ahead."

While I'm sure that makes you feel good in your smug way, as with the other things you said. I often ponder the things that make a person such as yourself, become this way.

Now we could go onto debate, YOUR generalizations. But hen again why bother. While your statement of "most of the jobs you listed are mostly done by men means nothing" shows that you don't understand things. Of course you believe "the fact that our culture is gender biased", although I wonder how many women would actually take those jobs, work in a coal mine, work on an oil rig or the other similar life threatening forms of making a living. While you will sniff at your ability to make money without doing those things, his point was, your life would not be the same without them being done.

I mean don't pull into that gas station, no guy was on the rig to drill for oil, and no women have the physical strength to do the job. Oh and don't turn on your light, put food in your refrigerator, try to start your computer, there were no men to dig the coal that powers those generating plants for the eletricity, and no women were either strong enough, nor wished to take the risk.

Oh and that money, isn't worth squat, there were no men to dig the gold for that either. Now as to that ONE woman pilot, electrician, gandy dancer, pump jocky, miner, geee she's sure gonna be busy keeping the rest of you in stuff.

"Does that make you feel wanted?"

No not at all, it merely values me as a contributing human being, the same as anyone man or woman alike would want.

The better question I guess is, since you have such disdain for men, why are you here?

Laughs or just lack of social life.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 198
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 8:11:16 PM
A man that knows how to do a lot of stuff can save a woman TONS of money. Yes you can hire everything out but you are also paying for that service and profit margin. If you have a guy that can handle most things that's more money in your pocket to use on other things.

I'd rather pay for it and call it even, then have to depend on a guy for stuff I should be able to deal with myself whether I learn it or hire it out. Men should appreciate being wanted for who they are, not needed for what they can provide. This is 2010, not 1957.

Don't fish and bring me dinner - show me how to fish so I can feed myself.

Feeling needed isn't obsolete, rather the need to feel needed FOR something you have or can fix should be. Anyone who's healthy and able should be able to take care of themselves...they may choose not to but that's on them.

Now we could go onto debate, YOUR generalizations. But hen again why bother. While your statement of "most of the jobs you listed are mostly done by men means nothing" shows that you don't understand things. Of course you believe "the fact that our culture is gender biased", although I wonder how many women would actually take those jobs, work in a coal mine, work on an oil rig or the other similar life threatening forms of making a living. While you will sniff at your ability to make money without doing those things, his point was, your life would not be the same without them being done.

I mean don't pull into that gas station, no guy was on the rig to drill for oil, and no women have the physical strength to do the job. Oh and don't turn on your light, put food in your refrigerator, try to start your computer, there were no men to dig the coal that powers those generating plants for the eletricity, and no women were either strong enough, nor wished to take the risk.

Haven't women done exactly that in times of war when men were deployed and it had to be done? I think there are a lot more women who are ok with that type of thing than men realize these days. College stats are showing a lot of women in stereotypical men's trade classes and degrees and more men dropping out of college in this day and age. However the men in those fields generally focus more on salary and are drawn to jobs like that - or they'd do something else.
 x_file_
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 199
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 8:24:54 PM

As long as there is ONE woman mechanic, electrician, pilot etc, YOUR observations are irrelevant.


You don't know what you are talking about.

I stated that I haven't seen a woman car mechanic, an electrician, a pilot, or a construction worker. I didn't claim there are no women who are mechanics, electricians, pilots, or construction workers. You inferred that all on your own.

My argument is not that there are "none", but that if there are "some", they are very few in comparison to men. In other words, my guess is that there is about 1 woman car mechanic for every 1000 men car mechanics. Same for the other professions/jobs.

So even if you find 1000 women car mechanics, my argument remains solid. The world is run by men. Men with money control the world, and poor men maintain the world on daily basis.



In addition to handling crises at work all the time, I am also the first aid rep in our building because one of my strengths is calmness in a crisis, and, believe me, I have been tested.


What crisis? Refill the coffee machine when it runs out of coffee?


Your generalization is just flat out wrong.


You claim to be good at crisis therefore my generalization is wrong? Try again.



When a woman cries, that is a shameful loss of control in YOUR opinion, but I have heard men curse, yell, throw tools, and berate people (even in the work place) when some trifling thing goes wrong, and yet that is seem as somehow more acceptable than crying.


Hu?

Shameful loss of control? Projecting much?



It's still a loss of control; it just looks different.


Ah... you mean loss of control of EMOTIONS, not the situation!

If anything, often when a woman cries she is in perfect control of her emotions!



First, the types of work you have mentioned do not interest me at all, however, I know I could be an electrician if I chose to...no problem at all.


Oh yes, the old "I could be _____ if I choose to". No you can't. It's NOT simply a matter of choice.



If you want to believe you are needed, go ahead


I don't believe women need me, or that anyone particular woman needs me, or that anyone particular person needs me. But I do know that women need men more than men need women.



Does that make you feel wanted?


There are some men who feel that way. Never understood it. Feeling wanted because you are needed is, as far as I'm concerned, a psychological disorder.

I void people who need me. I like my freedom.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 200
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 8:50:17 PM
To all the men bellyaching because they don't feel needed or wanted by women anymore - My needs are simple - I want to love and respect someone, and I need that in return. Men who are not capable of love are of no use to me and I have yet to experience love from a man.
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