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 hardworker12
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 169
What's the upside to being over 50 and singlePage 5 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)


'm having a ball right now wandering around the 'states and the hardest thing i have to decide is "where to next"...

and yes, i can flirt with whoever i want, do what i want, buy what i want and stay out as long as i like...

Right. As long as you don't CARE whose bed you wake up in...
 mitchozie
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 172
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/5/2009 5:48:13 AM
The upside to being single at any age is not participating in a toxic relationship. At the age of 70 (in a few days), I have found that I don't need to be in a relationship. My life is full, with family and hobbies taking up my time, and I am never bored or lonely. If the right woman comes along, I'll happily fit her into my schedule, but I won't knock myself out looking for her.
 m.t.nester
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 175
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/9/2009 1:39:40 PM
I was married twenty plus years to a woman with serious psychological problems, she was in and out of rehab and psych facilities the last ten years of her life, she died six years ago this month.
My last kid is off to college, have dated a little but nothing clicks, find the peace and solitude of an empty home better than one that was always in a manic or depressive uproar.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 176
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/9/2009 3:16:30 PM

Being over 50 and single offers me the opportunity to further my personal growth, learn new things, pursue new dreams, along with the chance to do things I've always wanted to do.

I managed to do all that while I was either in a relationship or married. Granted, I didn't do all the travelling I would have liked, but that was because I had children to take care of. And I wouldn't have traded them for all the globe-hopping possible.

I'm not insecure, unhappy, or looking for a meal ticket. Most of the time I enjoy my solitude - but I do miss having someone to share that first cup of coffee with. So I guess I'm a part-time lonely sinsgle woman, but I don't think I fit that definition. Of course, I've never been the type to be put in someone else's box.
 pleasurelimits
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 177
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/9/2009 3:44:45 PM
When you choose to share your bed with someone it is exactly the person you want there or you wouldn't bother, and, you know what you are doing and what you like and are not scared to ask for it.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 178
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/9/2009 4:15:33 PM
Some of us have no desire to share a bed. Seperate bedrooms or seperate house are the only way some of us would go. Sleeping alone allows us to not spend the night listen to snoring, or being pushed onto the edge of the bed by someone's tossing and turning.

Single is good once we realize what we really want our life to be like.
 lipotufu
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 179
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/10/2009 6:47:05 AM
i turned 50+21 at the end of november. i had my annual physical yesterday with my longtime doctor and friend and he said that it's amazing to him how physically and psychologically healthy i am. we laughed when i told him that i woke up one saturday mornign two months ago knowing that i'll live another 30 years. i write all of that to write a couple of things: i am always responsible for my response to anything that happens in my life; and life is a river ...... a spiritual river (i'm a taoist/atheist), a sensual river, a river that allows us to write poetry and be poetry. there are as many ways to love as there are people. i love you. i want you to be who you are. let's be peaceful & simple & healthy & safe & holy. a favorite ancient chinese poet of mine, tseng kuo-fan, wrote this in a longer poem a thousand years ago:

"all my travels
only make tracks
in drifting sand."

let's be love and make love.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 180
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/10/2009 8:40:48 AM
My personal growth, etc., didn't suddenly start, the minute when I became widowed. I didn't live in a bubble until I suddenly became single at 51.

I wasn't implying that it did. My own brand of personal growth got a kick start when I found myself married at 19 - why on earth isn't there some kind of law allowing trial marriages at that age? - to a man of a type I didn't even know existed.


I had children to take care of as well. Years of working two jobs, a home to maintain, meals to cook, laundry etc. 34 years to be exact.Well, you get the picture. No time or money for what you call "globe-hopping". All those years, my children came first too!!
You and I are relatively the same age, Kari. My children have not lived at home for 18 yrs. They are all self-sufficient adults now.

Most of the time I was a single parent with multiple jobs as well. I also lived in rural Alaska, in a place where it was a mile from the house to the car or truck. In addition to the multiple jobs, there was also livestock to take care of, feed and groceries to pack around the lake to the house, and if I misjudged the weather, fuel oil to be carried in buckets as well and fire wood to be cut and split.

At the same time, quite a few of the penniless globe trotters stopped by my town to work in canneries until they accumulated enough cash for a ticket to somewhere else. They weren't jet-setters or cruise takers. It was interesting to listen to them talk about their friends, so and so who was supposed to be in Marrakesh stopping somewhere in Tibet or Nepal instead. That was my idea of globe hopping - and they all came from different countries to start with - France, Japan, Nepal, Norway, Switzerland. For a few years I was fairly well knowm among them as a source of a free lunch in exchange for gossip and conversation - a fine trade, from my point of view.

My daughter was living on her own by the time she was a junior in high school. My son was on his own at 15, though I technically remained his guardian. So it's been well over 20 years since they've gone.


But, right now I'm free of schedules and other limitations. So, I'm taking me where the wind blows..........or until the money runs out............

More power to you then. I do have a schedule - the most important of my 'hobbies' has been rescuing and caring for abused and neglected animals, which I've done for over 40 years. They do need to be cared for on a daily schedule, and I wouldn't consider paying someone else to take care of them just so I could take off whenever I felt the whim hit. It would be a wasted effort anyway, since I can't see well enough now to actually see the places I once thought I'd like to visit.

It's been a little over 2 years since my husband died. I was his sole caretaker for the last year of his life, and I sill wake up at times in the middle of the night thinking I heard him call me, or wondering why he hasn't called for something. I don't want to 'replace' him, but it would be very nice to have someone else to think about and take into consideration now.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 181
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/11/2009 9:16:39 AM

When you choose to share your bed with someone it is exactly the person you want there or you wouldn't bother, and, you know what you are doing and what you like and are not scared to ask for it.
I realize more than ever what I desire in a man and being single has allowed me to find that. Had I stayed with my last husband, I would be absolutely miserable and continuing to be verbally and emotionally abused. Instead, by getting out of a terrible marriage, I was able to find 'exactly the person' I want to share my bed and my life.
 klsxcars56
Joined: 6/16/2009
Msg: 183
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:49:36 PM
I was 'seeing' a girl..39..at my apartment complex...she was cute and i thought a bit
quirky..kind of enjoyable until i saw her meds at her place(which was a pig sty,by
the way)...she was never violent,but would cry at anytime..then be as happy the next
minute...she said she'd tried suicide in the past...i blew all of that off as i thought that
since she said she 'loved me' that i made a difference in her life...I am very stable..
early retired from the airline industry...and she always called me 'the smart one in
this family'(she has a dog)....Because i tried and succeeded at times,to make sense of
what she was or wasn't doing...(she asked me at one time if i would balance her
check book)... hmmm,i thought...what's up with that? The reason i say that is...
She has Degrees in the Library system (in the children's section) which i'd seen her
work....and she is fantastic when she's on her meds and sober(oh,i forgot..she drinks
heavily on top of her meds)..... (sorry to go so long with this).... I tried
to 'help' and make her happy too much...especially in her depression times.... She
got fired from her library position (as i told her she would) because of her lack of
attendance (drink plus meds)....During that time,i didn't know this and she was in bed
for a month with depression...i didn't know this because she had broken off from me
for the summer saying that all i wanted was sex from her and .... You get the picture..
To make this 'reuinion' story short (but interesting)... i was standing at Publix
supermarket ..she sees me and throws herself at me...shes moved now... dave
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 184
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/13/2009 3:59:12 PM

I was 'seeing' a girl..39..at my apartment complex...she was cute and i thought a bit
quirky..kind of enjoyable until i saw her meds at her place(which was a pig sty,by
the way)...she was never violent,but would cry at anytime..then be as happy the next
minute...she said she'd tried suicide in the past...i blew all of that off as i thought that
since she said she 'loved me' that i made a difference in her life...I am very stable..
early retired from the airline industry...and she always called me 'the smart one in
this family'(she has a dog)....Because i tried and succeeded at times,to make sense of
what she was or wasn't doing...(she asked me at one time if i would balance her
check book)... hmmm,i thought...what's up with that? The reason i say that is...
She has Degrees in the Library system (in the children's section) which i'd seen her
work....and she is fantastic when she's on her meds and sober(oh,i forgot..she drinks
heavily on top of her meds)..... (sorry to go so long with this).... I tried
to 'help' and make her happy too much...especially in her depression times.... She
got fired from her library position (as i told her she would) because of her lack of
attendance (drink plus meds)....During that time,i didn't know this and she was in bed
for a month with depression...i didn't know this because she had broken off from me
for the summer saying that all i wanted was sex from her and .... You get the picture..
To make this 'reuinion' story short (but interesting)... i was standing at Publix
supermarket ..she sees me and throws herself at me...shes moved now... dave

Whew! I can't believe I read the whole thing. Anybody else figure both parties are a train wreck waiting to happen? Why would you even contemplate standing at the depot after the first train went by? That, mon ami, is the upside of being over 50 and single - the intuition or BS meter usually kicks in pronto.
 ninjaeleven
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 185
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 12/13/2009 9:38:11 PM
For a man, younger women.
 blue450
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 186
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/9/2010 7:40:11 AM
Most single over 50 women I spoke with during my 40's were almost unanimous in stating they were never happier now that they were alone, divorced or widowed. They seemed to be on the same page as me now. Occassional get togethers for pleasure and that's that!
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 187
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/9/2010 8:10:44 AM
Not having to hear how impossible I am to live with..

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 188
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/9/2010 8:37:16 AM

Not having to hear how impossible I am to live with..


Its called denial. You probably don't really need to live in a building with 24/7 security......
 lonelydavid77
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 189
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/9/2010 8:39:29 AM
What's the upside of over 50 and single?

The kids are grown up and are having some of the same puzzling dramas I went through being a parent.

They want me to enjoy my life, and when relating something I have to keep in mind the TMI factor.

I can come and go as I please, where I please and with whom I please. The latter is not always an option, but I keep trying to get a lady to accompany me (sometimes).
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 191
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/9/2010 9:01:51 AM

Its called denial. You probably don't really need to live in a building with 24/7 security.....


Yeah what good are they anyhow? Letting my neighbors take my indoor parking space and move my little pedal car to one side??????

I had to put up a big red sign on my space that says "The B*tches Car Only"

Some boorish gents have no respect for a lady's toys.

thecatsmeoww
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 192
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/9/2010 9:09:33 AM
To use terms from Chick Lit (NOT chiclets, the chewing gum), lots of people claiming the upside is isolation, and "ATM's" and "Nurses With Purses". I wonder what Carrie and Samantha would make of it.

Me, I once watched a gorgeous sunset in the harbor at Belhaven NC from the steering pit of a sailboat while eating Dinty Moore stew from a tupperware bowl and drinking cognac from a plastic glass without ice, thinking how it would be even better shared with a companionable woman.
 treselle
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 193
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/10/2010 10:52:18 AM
I knew a 50 something woman who divorced her husband, even though her children did not approve and two stoped talking to her. But she dated her ex. And she was very happy with her life. When I asked her why she divorced him, she answered. "He was a lousy husband. But he is a great date." Go figure....It is better to see someone occasionally, than to live with.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 194
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/10/2010 11:11:17 AM

"He was a lousy husband. But he is a great date." Go figure....It is better to see someone occasionally, than to live with.


A good male friend of mine has been courting the same woman for a little over 35 years now. I asked him if he ever considered living together or marrying her. His reply was "No one could live with me and we like it just this way!"

So if it's not broke why fix it?

thecatsmeoww
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 195
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/10/2010 11:43:34 AM
The upside is your parents become less critical of you and you become less critical of yourself, which should make dating easier. The downside is everyone loses their eyesight, memory, ability to run, and sometimes even worse.
 HoldingHands27
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 198
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/10/2010 12:50:26 PM
There's no need to try to impress a Lady with the whole 'Bad-boy' routine....
Most experienced women look for intelligence, manners, respect and honesty...
Being over 50, I wouldn't be making a positive impression by being a self-centered, immature 'Macho-Slob'...!!
 OpnHorizonz
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 199
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/11/2010 10:59:42 AM
At this stage of my life, my primary job is 'drama prevention'.

And this is much easier through honesty and forthrightness between myself and others.

I have long-ago dumped my baggage and the great joy today is when 'in the moment', I am actually, singularly, in that moment. What a turn-on it is to find that in a partner.
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 200
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What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/12/2010 7:59:44 AM
While there are advantages to being single it doesn't compare to having that special someone who cares, understands and appreciates you, puts a smile on your face, those inner feelings, euphoric emotions of well being that come with a relationship.
 ~Azul Ojos~
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 202
What's the upside to being over 50 and single
Posted: 2/12/2010 9:52:24 AM
What's the upside to being over 50 and single: Wisdom to know what would work and what wouldn't...


Most experienced women look for intelligence, manners, respect and honesty...
Exactly... And it is definitely a plus when we find it...


Being over 50, I wouldn't be making a positive impression by being a self-centered, immature 'Macho-Slob'...!!
...

Wow... a guy who gets it...

I leave the immature 'macho-slob's ' to the women younger... They are easy to impress, and they are 100% welcome to them.







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