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 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 51
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Love,Quality of life and who paysPage 3 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
Money doesn't get old,fat and cranky so i guess women are smart in what they go after....long after what attracted a man to a woman is gone what attracted her to him is most of the time still there providing everything it always did.....yep women are just smarter i guess.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 52
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:32:58 PM

I only glanced and it DIDNT make sense.. and was NOT germane to the whole post.. but thanks for sharing ECON for dummies
LOL!!! Well, I read every single word...and promptly filed it under PBS (propaganda and bullsheet)
 Impossible Made Possible
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 53
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:58:49 PM
One little car wreck and you are paralyzed for life. Why wait for that type of situation to understand that true love has nothing to do with money or earning it.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 54
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:00:56 PM
Yea broke men. Scared that women want what they just plain haven't got and so cry boo hoo over women not dating them because they don't make enough money .... Hey try making just a bit of money. Move the hell out of your mothers basement, tell me again how you are an "Entrepreneur" because you sell baseball cards on E-Bay. Ohhhh come on lets hear another story how your X took all your money and so now you have no life. Now you are shaking your piggy bank and worried that the women on here are gold digging for your chump change.

The truth is most women on here probably have more solid jobs than the men, have more liquid cash for an emergency, and have plain all round better lives that the effeminate men who continuously post about pre-nups and women wanting free dinners. What are you pre nupping about really ??? I doubt most of you can even afford to get a pre-nup drafted by a lawyer let alone know how to divide your no home, no cash, no retirement ... It's ALL buillshiit cause you don't really have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
Wooooo Hoooooo!!!! My new Shero!!! LOL!

That's right!!!! Of course I don't want to support a man...JUST LIKE....I don't want any man to support me! (financially) That makes us women, "independent" and "masculine"; therefore....that leaves you (men) only with the "gold-diggers" who are MORE than HAPPY to tell you how feminine and dependent they are.....as they leave you with no pot to piss in or window to throw it out of!!! LOL! And, like I said....you ever decide to grow some testicles and dump these lazy good for nothing excuses for women and we'll have your backs. That's right! We don't like those women any more than you guys do...but damn.....every time we try to tell you how bad you're getting shafted....all we hear is....."well....she cried really BIG ASS tears...so she MUST have been sincere!" Yeah, right!!! You want to see how sincere she is....tell her to get off her ass and get a job and pay 1/2 the mortgage payment!!!!

But for pity sake, stop bashing those of us who believe in TRUE equality when we're just trying to defend you for goodness sakes! If you want a "homemaker"....great, you know...that's a respectable job and worthy of praise.....but MAKE SURE you get one like BELLE LASS....a REAL one....who did her job; not one of these whiny 2009 types who thinks she should get paid and 3/4 the farm just for popping out a couple kids and hiring babysitters to raise them because they're busy at the gym.....then YOU have to come home after a day and work and do all THEIR work.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 55
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:24:34 PM
I think you're talking to a different generation than mine, or to men on a different planet...

Mostly she's referring to men who complain about women who have no room for men in their lives in other threads - including the one where almost all of them admitted a woman in need is more attractive because it gives men a "needed" feeling, whatever that is.

There are threads where men claim that women who try to be like men aren't attractive...which I always find funny because I don't see any particular skill as being "like" a certain gender.

There are many men in this forum, therefore on this planet that have a problem with a woman who's got her self together "too much" - again, whatever that means.

Then there are the posts that basically blame women for ruining the family unit and straight out saying they should have stayed in the kitchen. Not all men feel this way, but they are out there.

Bottom line is a woman will either need you to take care of her or she won't - and a lot of men are trying to cross wires, and find a woman who takes care of herself but has all the free time in the world to cater to him. It's not possible to find a woman who's going to do both realistically.

As I mentioned earlier in this thread, the OP in another thread mentioned something to the effect that men will usually be drawn to women who need rescuing quicker because it appeals to their sense of wanting to fix things. *shrug*
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 56
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:03:02 PM

The topic is about the monetary "greed" some must have in order to feel content. Do you get that?

The topic is about love, quality of life...and then the who pays crap, as per usual, overshadows everything else in just about every thread. The contentment I speak of has absolutely nothing to do with the financial side of things, but I see you just can't get around that and it always goes back to women using men for financial gain. I get it about both men and women who have certain expectations. I also get that there are hidden agendas - for both. As I said before, there are men who throw money around like a hook at the end of a line while they troll for women because something else about their personality or whatever is lacking. Then they get these sort of women in a full blown committed sort of relationship and cry the blues that the women are still expecting the same form of free loading showmanship that the men used to attract them with in the first place. The woman is obviously lazy, stupid, a user and any other term you want to use and the man is an idiot for not realizing his method of obtaining this sort of woman gets him what he gets. Do you get that?

When the "bashing" will stop is when there are no more sexist double standards and wanting to be treated as "equal", and distinctly "underprivileged" at the same time.
Wanting to be treated, looked upon, and respected as an independent adult when it suits them, and then be treated, looked upon and behave like a dependent child when it benefits them.

It's not a double standard when you have men that attract certain types of women by flash and then expect them to act differently later on. Like WTF! You see it as these type of women wanting to be treated, looked up to, and respected as an independent adult when it suits them, when you are failing to realize that the men in these particular cases have acted like Mr. Moneybanks to get these type of women and then they act all surprised and shocked because they were playing their own game to begin with.


You can't suck and blow at the same time.

Exactly my point. He throws his money around and then whines that she's the type that still expects it later on and he feels all used up financially. Well, duh. If he's going to have an agenda to attract a woman, expect to get one who acts that way. Alternatively, don't act like a big spender and play into these sort of women and then complain about it afterwards. Talk about acting like a child!


Grow up, acknowledge it, and deal with it.
The gravy train is over.

I trust that one's not directed at me, personally, and just at the topic of certain women with the gold digging mentality. I'm one of those independent women certain men love to hate because I have the intelligence to see to my own needs and not even think of relying on a man to do so financially. I can't help it if certain men would feel inadequate because of it - that's their baggage to deal with, not mine. A man who plays into that whole "looking after the helpless lil damsel in distress" thing irritates the chit out of me, as do the women who go for it. My train doesn't even stop at their station to begin with, never mind getting off and on it. I don't try to buy men like some men try to buy women and then said men paint all women with the same brush because of their own stupidity and inability to get into a relationship any other way than to dangle material items as incentive for said relationship. Both of those types of individuals need growing up, not just one of them.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 57
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:15:02 PM

I think you're talking to a different generation than mine, or to men on a different planet...
Well.....DUHHHHHHH....YEAH. Since the OP is 11 yrs older than you....and a member of MY generation....not yours. Sorry I didn't answer the question that YOU MEANT to ask.....but he beat you to the punch.


The men here are talking about, and how to avoid parasites.
I do believe that I answered that quite directly in my first comment when I stated that the FIRST thing they need to do is STOP looking for those kinds of women.

I'm old, but not totally senile yet....so, yes...I DO remember which names I see in OTHER threads who support a very particular set of "values and ideals". Just so happens that in THIS case, the OP is generally a great fan of "feminine women....who are not able to care for themselves independently"

Your first 3 dissenting opinions didn't even address the statements so, I'll discount those.
This one however:
Uhhh...those days are in the past. Some of us never lived it, and have no interest in having a "homemaker" wife.
What you describe is like adopting a child. The thought of adopting a "wife", like I would a child, makes my skin crawl....
Excuse me....I didn't know that YOU were the OP hiding out incognito. I was addressing HIS statements.....not those that you had yet to make. Perhaps that is NOT what YOU want....but it IS what HE wants. (read his posting HISTORY)




I will only date or get involved with someone who is able to provide for them self and their children. I expect my partner to be a partner not a provider. My carrer of choice will make it next to impossible to ever be rich but it shows my dept of character and that is so much more valuable than money. I look for the same in another. Depth of character not dept of pockets!!

There are a few who do get it. Here's an example of what many men will trample over entitlement princesses and "materialistic" women for....
Yes, SOME men will....unfortunately FEW of them in MY generation (or the OPs) will do so however. They're far too busy bashing those "independent working women" as being too masculine; hence....my comment....that "THEY ASK FOR IT".
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 58
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:38:13 PM
No, the problem is too much obfuscating, tangents and improper analogies introduced as a means to rationalize a sexist double standard.
The topic is about women opportunists who expect to gain financially in by fishing in a class of people they can't parallel, in exchange for a "relationship", which ends up being a euphemism for being bought for their non monetary "assets".

The double standard is men buying the women for their non-monetary assets and then thinking they'll get a meaningful relationship out of the deal when they cut the purse strings. There is no strawman. Each set of indiviudals has their own double standard.

You're focussing on the symptom, not the cause.Blaming men for "creating" a bunch of women who can be bought (in this age of equal opportunity) is ludicrous.
Ya, women are such "victims" of men who want to "buy" them. Pfffft....
If women couldn't be "bought" or lured with money, the tactic of flashing money around would be meaningless. Face it, for some women, money is an huge aphrodisiac.

No, I'm not focusing on the symptom and I'm not blaming men for creating a bunch of women who can be bought. Those women are already out there who are opportunists (money for assets) and by the same token the man is an opportunist (assets for money). She's luring with the assets...he's luring with the money. I'm in no way calling these women "victims". In fact, if you'd stop being selective about pulling quotes or skimming selectively, you'd see that I have no use for women like this and look down upon them. By the same token, neither are the men "victims" as they are liking to make themselves out to be and as you are enabling that thought process by figuring they are some lilly white innocent in the game that both of them are playing. If money is an aphrodesiac for women, so is the physical assets and babysitting an aphrodesiac to him.

A man who plays into that whole "looking after the helpless lil damsel in distress" thing irritates the chit out of me
"Personally, those men amuse me."
as do the women who go for it.
I find them pathetic, personally, and don't lament over them for a minute. I don't care how pretty they are, they're ugly inside to me.

We're basically agreeing - they're both pathetic - you can still be amused by pathetic people.


As sadly a statement as it sounds, I come to agree in many situations, men have no chance at a successful relation if they cant provide finances, stability, and other check lists many women have regarding essentials for a relationship. I cant help to think are we as a society that shallow, bypassing good people for holding out on material gains, and loosing characteristics, chance at love in the name of materials?

Men will have no chance at a successful relation with women who USE men if they cant provide finances, [financial]stability. Is that a bad thing? Why would these men want a relationship with someone who's a parasite in the first place? Ahhh....I know....because he's the "good guy" who wants the killer looking chick/parasite combination so he can complain that most women are like that and that's why he's still single or that he was too blind, infatuated, lacking perception skills to have been stung by those types...likely more than once. Some men are just doofuses and can't see the forest for the trees as much as some women are empty headed enough to think that having good looks makes them automatically have a personality that is deserving of financial compensation for their presence. They're both doomed, and often, deservedly so.
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 59
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:47:02 PM

The men on here who think that the women are mostly gold diggers ... hello look at your brothers. The men are the BIGGEST gold diggers, cheap ass, tight wads, unable to attach emotionally unless they know how many dollars a gal has in her account.
No, the men who focus on these matters are simply cautious and concerned that a womans interest in them is genuine and not based on superficiality, vanity or greed. The average man, online or offline, doesn't care how much money a woman makes, the only thing that is important is that a woman loves him back for who he is and not for how much money he makes.


Anyway, for me it simply comes down to this(and I have gone over this before): The whole concept of a man paying for a woman's way is both misandric and misogynistic; and anyone who promotes this kind of mentality is guilty of both(yes, there is such a thing as female misogyny and male misandry). Women are not objects to be bought and men aren't work mules. No matter how you try to spin it, it is sexism.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 60
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:55:53 PM
The average man, online or offline, doesn't care how much money a woman makes

Bullshyte--you are arguing women are after you for your money. This would only make sense if she needs the money because she lacks the money (although I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, if you want). Or are you seriously going to try to convince me now that a millionaire woman is only going to be after YOU for the extra $40k?? OR even try to convince me that if you met a millionaire woman and she was hott and she liked you, you wouldn't be going to yourself and your buddies, "SCHWINGGGGGGG". The millionaire part would DEF be a "plus" in the equation. I don't know why you try to deny that?

And a man DOES care a lot about how much HE himself makes, and women pick up on this, so it becomes important to women, too.

You really believe that all us men are penny-pinching cheapskates who are paranoid that women will come and steal our treasures?

No, but it seems that a preponderance of PoF forum posters of the male persuasion are on board with the concept. And every time a woman says she's not after his money, he waves the argument aside and points out how once, this one woman, one time, made him buy a drink so he could talk to her and that isn't "fair".
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 61
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:10:03 PM

What does my age have to do with the OP?
Read the OP.
You're lecturing and giving advice on something that is not even in question or being discussed.
The OP is asking for opinions about an observation, not a personal experience.
WRONG! The OP STARTED OUT making an observation, but at the point that HE thought, and HE realized and HE came to a conclusion....it DID become about a PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. What he heard in a forum was nothing more than an introduction to HIS PERSONAL experiences and beliefs.


I was disturbed by what I heard on a forum so thought I would put this to the readers.
A guy commented regarding women and quality of life. It went like this, if you cant provide for her why should she stay around. As sadly a statement as it sounds, I come to agree in many situations, men have no chance at a successful relation if they cant provide finances, stability, and other check lists many women have regarding essentials for a relationship. I cant help to think are we as a society that shallow, bypassing good people for holding out on material gains, and loosing characteristics, chance at love in the name of materials?
I realize there are some that have inner fortatude and dont succume to that, but I cant help realizing that many bypass what they value as meaningful to a succesful relationship.
What is your view on the topic?


Post # 132 is a perfect example of the old adage; if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit.

His statement, that men have no chance at a successful relation if they can't provide finances, stability, and other check lists many women have....blah, blah, blah is NOTHING more than the same kind of whining that women do when them come in and post about....
"I've been in 7 relationships...and they ALL abuse me, it seems that a woman just can't have a decent relationship because ALL men are abusers!"

PLLLLLAAZZZZZEEE!!! Spare me that wimpy crap! 9 out of 10 people would quickly point out that....SHE CHOOSES THESE MEN! (just like the OP CHOOSES the women he chooses). It's NOT that there aren't women out there who aren't materialistic....they're just NOT the ones that he likes. Just like women who repeatedly CHOOSE men who pound the crap out of them....there ARE good men out there who do NOT behave like that....but those women just DON'T like those men.

NOW, you wanna talk about some double standards....bring it on! WHY does he get a pass of choosing women who want men who provide all their financial support and security.....BECAUSE THOSE ARE the women the looks for.

The OP doesn't say that he LOOKS for materialistic women.
OHHHHH REALLY? So, tell me......if a woman goes to a sleazy bar, gets drunk, rips off all her clothes, and starts dancing on the bar and sticking "it" in men's face.....you're telling me that she's NOT "asking for "it". (meaning...whatever she gets!) Talk about DOUBLE STANDARDS here.....how about a little PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY????
One need not always vocalize their "wants" to make them TOTALLY OBVIOUS. Many times...actions speak louder than words.


Personally, those men amuse me.
Well, I'm tickled blue that they amuse YOU...personally...they make me wanna barf! Frankly, they really deserve the gold diggers they get; which is pretty much what everyone one else has been saying (male and female).


Never mind "other threads". You're going off topic.
FYI, this is not a court of law, and YOU are not a judge, so I fail to recognize your instruction to disregard "evidence" not found through proper search and seizure procedure. There are NO threads that are unavailable for ALL to read, and therefore the philosophies and ideologies of each and every member are here to be read and reread....and remembered. This is certainly NOT the first thread in which someone has been called on talking out of both sides of their mouths....and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Examples of the OPs values:
A women in need although somewhat desperate is easier for a man to get to know to initially than a women that is independant.
Sure sounds to me like he's looking for gold diggers!

I dont care for masculine behaving women, prefer feminine.


Among those "feminine" characteristics are; dependent, emotional, illogical, not ambitious, less drive for power and money, and seeks help readily. (there are others)

So, let's see....the OPs quest for a "feminine" woman....definition of "feminine" is "dependent"...blah, blah, blah....

Your vocabulary is adequate, but I recommend you brush up on your reading COMPREHENSION.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 62
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:40:23 PM

This is why OP has to ask this question because he can't afford what he seeks. He may not enough an idiot...
LOL! hey...it's crackin me up!!!


Living outside of your means, having 10+ credit cards, buying houses considerably larger than is realistically needed, buying more expensive cars than are needed... spending $200 on a first date dinner. These are all frivolous spending habits as well as status symbols.
LOL! I live in my own home, which I paid cash for, drive a pick up truck, have O credit cards.....LOL! and I CAN afford to spend $200 on a date.....

LOL!!!! what I cannot do...is find a man my age who's who's NOT looking for a "dependent" feminine woman!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 63
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:59:42 AM

I'm curious, so I have to ask. I was with you through the whole bit about how what you cannot do is find a man your age. Understandable, and I trust that you're in a position to make that assertion. You lost me, however, when you went on to say why (the implication being that you're an "independent" woman and the men your age are only interested in "dependent" women).


I used EXACTLY the same criteria that the OP used for his broad statement....what I've READ in forums. No, of course there were questionnaires, and...if there had been, I'd have simply distributed them to ONLY those people who I already knew would support my desired generalization. (Isn't that how this all works?)

The OP came to the conclusion that men have no chance at all for a relationship...(the ONLY criteria he's mention for this assessment is what he's read in fourms).


How have you ascertained this? Have your dates been filling out post-date questionnaires? Have you actually accumulated a statistically significant number of these?
How did the OP ascertain HIS data? (from what he read in forums)


Oh.. booboo.. you are exempt since on page 3 you already said you support the general male point of view.. but you can if you want
LOL! not only that, but I KNOW "Who John Galt is!"

GAWD!!! What ARE we thinking.....asking for intelligence...AND personal responsibility!!!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 64
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:00:43 AM
So, basically, you've opted to employ a strategy wherein you respond to something that is wrong with something that is equally wrong, but in the opposite direction. Understood. Thanks for the clarification.
Precisely. Even when they fail to understand the same language that THEY themselves speak, there's always the laws of physics LOL! Think martial arts...it's easier to use their own momentum to help them fall on their face than it is to stop that momentum and turn it in another direction.


Sounds like you're doing OK.
How do you feel when men are focussed on your wealth?
LOL! how could that possibly happen? Everyone knows that women are needy golddiggers....if there's one who isn't....then she has some other fatal flaw......like....doesn't provide a man with any reason to whine about being taken to the cleaners by some greedy female.

I realize there are some that have inner fortatude and dont succume to that, but I cant help realizing that many bypass what they value as meaningful to a succesful relationship.
I.E. those who don't succumb to greed; are summarily dismissed as being "masculine" or "independent". LOL! it's the old...."well, I'd avoid my abusive boyfriend, but we hang out at the same bar" EXCUSE. God forbid we should ever solve our own problems by employing a little common sense, huh?
 Snotsure
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 65
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:22:08 AM
What was this thread about again??? I am really confused because these last few pages I have read seem to blend into every other thread I have read here. Seems everyone is out to prove themselves a winner... oddly All I see is continuous sparring and no clear winner.
Round(thread) after ROund(thread) the old "us against them" keeps getting pounded away at.

Quality of life is highly subjective as is the amount of love & cash required for it.

Personally, I will be happy when I meet someone who cares most about how enjoyable the rest of our lives are together and hopefully we have mutual feelings on what that quality is.... and frankly, how to get it.

I have noticed lately that North American Society creates a life that is measured by material gain for the most part. I observe people obsessing about what they may purchase next, even when they have a perfectly good (insert whatever product here).

For me... as long as we have enough money (and I honestly don't care how or who gets it) to do the things we want, then it is all good. Life is so short... make the most of it.
 northerndreamer
Joined: 6/30/2009
Msg: 66
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:50:36 AM
Haven't read all the threads because I see it is, as always, descending into attacks on the OP. But, since he asked. It matters to me what a man does for a living and how much he makes. I have dated men who are blue collar or not at my financial level. Never works. The friends are different, the circles are different.

So tired of men and the goldiggers comments. That is so 1950. It comes from insecure men. I have my own business, own my home, make good money and have a good lifestyle. I am not interested in a man who does not share that lifestyle. I have a good life, why should I settle for somebody who is either broke or going nowhere. It's all about choice and we all have the right to make that choice. I don't want to have to worry about money, constantly negotiate who pays what because the incomes are so unequal.

I've worked hard to achieve my success- and continue to work hard. I want a man who has done the same. A successful man is always more attractive than one who isn't. And yes, I do judge one element of success by what you have done with your career. And I recognize that's not the only criteria- but it is a screening one for me.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 67
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:53:27 AM
The topic is about how it seems as a society we seem to have become more and more focussed on material things, and material gain, and how that translates into dating and relationships, and how women (in general) seem to be most prone to making material things and wealth a primary focus on filtering men.

OMG!!!! YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!! I REPENT!!! I REPENT!!! I REPENT!!!!

Here all these years I didn't even know that I've been a gold digger all along! how will I ever redeem myself??? How terribly insensitive it was of me to earn more than my husband all those years....and sending him to college....HOW will he ever forgive me??? I'm EVIL I tell you...simply EVIL!!!! The man is a Saint for putting up with my terrible "masculine" bill paying for over 25 years!!! LOL! are you sure you're not a Baptist ? I used to hear that from them all the time (Damn women, working and paying bills...they should be STONED!)


I have my own business, own my home, make good money and have a good lifestyle. I am not interested in a man who does not share that lifestyle. I have a good life, why should I settle for somebody who is either broke or going nowhere. It's all about choice and we all have the right to make that choice. I don't want to have to worry about money, constantly negotiate who pays what because the incomes are so unequal.
LOL! Well Northern.....All I can say is.....You'd better REPENT now for your evil money earning ways!!!! Apparently you didn't get the memo that says all women are needy gold diggers!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 68
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:08:46 AM

I know it's hard for you to comprehend, Teen, but there are lots of men out there who really are not control freaks and they really honestly like a woman's company and love. Money, to them is not an issue. It's to be enjoyed.
What's even more fun, is that there ARE a few men, albeit...most of them 10 yrs younger than me....who don't have a cow over the fact that I have a retirement income from working 30+ years rather than having extorted it from an ex husband through alimony.

LOL! go figure....why do these guys find it perfectly ok to accept a woman's income if it comes from her ex...but can't handle the thought that she worked for it herself?
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 69
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:40:36 AM
Never works. The friends are different, the circles are different.
Well, that seems a bit off topic; regardless, I don't date someone for who their friends are, I date them for who they are. Most relationships come with new circle of friends anyway, everyone has different types of friends.



So tired of men and the goldiggers comments. That is so 1950. It comes from insecure men.
No, it comes from realists, men might bring it up more often than women but that is mostly because women are still somewhat socially compelled to feel entitled to a mans income(remnants of those 1950's, it wasn't that long ago). You may not be one but golddiggers aren't a myth, they do exist. A golddigger is someone who feels entitled to their partners income and are unwilling to support themselves. They pretend to love the someone while really only caring about the material gains that person provides. A golddigger is someone who isn't happy with their current means and lifestyle and, as a result, will try to leech off of someone else's to improve theirs(materialistic); someone who isn't a golddigger will be happy with their means regardless of their income(not materialistic) and will not seek another persons income.



I have my own business, own my home, make good money and have a good lifestyle. I am not interested in a man who does not share that lifestyle.

That's all great, good for you, but you have to remember that you acquired these things for yourself and not for someone else. If you were to meet someone who made less money but was perfectly content with their lifestyle, why does it even matter? Wouldn't you want someone who loves you for who you are and not for your business, home, money or lifestyle? To me these all seem like very shallow, superficial and volatile concepts to judge someone on. Possessions will come and go, people can make it big or lose everything within the blink of an eye.


I don't want to have to worry about money, constantly negotiate who pays what because the incomes are so unequal.
So by that logic you wouldn't date any man with a higher income than yourself since the same principle of arguing for money would apply there as well? or is this another case of "my income is my income, his income is our income"?
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 70
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:44:12 AM
landra and arabianangel: <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>

A man is measured by what he is and what he's got.. and that is confidence and success..

And that goes with women, she has to prove that she is a worthy woman by a good character, has a good job,a nice house in other words financially independent to find her a confidence and successful man. And that is balance aquation...

Men are superior when it comes to conning, I have read some thread how they brainwash women by making her guilty,that she is a golddigger ,a dinner wh*re, ? who pays for vacation? dates ? She did not give her share of starbuck coffee/ hamburger, I will only date a woman who pay for herself etc.etc..
If a woman won't fall for a jobless man she is materialistic, all she thinks is the man's wallet... and so and so on... And I 've read some responses of women here ,that they'd take a man with out money as long as he is a good man. Of course life is a gamble, but some women will not gamble their last 2 bucks for the attention of a man hoping it is the 4 aces of LOVE. they know that the odd is win or lose... But if these women (doesn't care if the man is moneyless and they are willing to pay for their own and pay for him too on the long run) win the love of that man,I don't think they will be happy,to bond with a selfish man for his greed will sap them dried....
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 71
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:06:21 AM

This is a KILLER I am laughing so hard. Oh yeaaaaaa if you men only KNEW how many times when my kids were younger I was asked what I get for support !!!!
LOL!!! Only NOW.....it's at least twice I week I get asked how long my alimony lasts!!!

When I tell them that I PAID HIM alimony for 2 years....the guy runs away like a scalded dog!!! LOL!


Lets just be honest ... there is NOTHING a woman on pof can do say or post that would be good enough for all the whinney baby men on these forums.


You got that right too! LOL! I think they look at it like "wife swapping"... if you get alimony that equals what they pay, then it's an even exchange. If you actually earn your income...then it's like an affront to their "masculinity" having the new woman pay the old one. They don't actually mind "being" kept men...they just don't want it to be that blatantly obvious.

But, I STILL say "BRAVO" to all the men out there with the gumption to date only women who DO work for a living and pay their share of the bills. Saves everyone a whole lot of whining and looking for outside excuses for their own failures in life.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 72
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:56:23 AM
Thank you Ahappygal for sharing that story.

At an early age, we all know what kind of man we want to spend our best years.


Belle Lass, I owe you a dozen Pink Roses, you are very good on argument. which I lack.

Your input is precise and crystal clear... Thank you.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 73
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Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:56:51 AM
I can see asking for views on this persons comment sure did go way off track. Looks like in many it turned into a war of the sexes, due to differing gender roles.
I was able to gleen a few things from some of the responses, like both sexes today expect each to contribute equally to the household, no one either women/man can be a slacker in todays economy. Does the guy in question look an unlikey choice based upon employment income, it seems most chose not to get involved with a low earner, although some responded as long as he was working and productive they would consider someone like that, admirable to say the least. I realize people can learn to better themselves through additonal training and experience, just have to find such opportunity. This is what I was looking for, that though it may seem shallow, as when we were young and had our values, indeed growing into adults many of us had to shed our views of "living on love" it doesnt pay the bills, and as the times change so do we for the most part. In a society where everything costs, both genders have to give equally otherwise things can be doomed from the outset. Niether gender can be expected to live off the coattails of the other gender. We live in a world where equal opportunity rings true to all. Thanks for all the responses they were intresting, and I learned from it.

OP
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 74
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:05:55 AM
^^^^OP: As soon as you placed the words "WHO PAYS" - it was DOOMED to take on the same ole' BS that we see on MANY threads......
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 75
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:08:11 AM
I'm not going to give a man an outline of what it is to be a man and what I want from him. There are too many variables and too many personalities that both genders possess on an individual basis. He either meshes with my personality or he doesn't. Feminist movements have****all to do with it and I so wish that would stop being brought up as well as the cave man scenarios...cripes...no one even knows for certain what the dynamics were then; it's full of assumptions that aren't verifiable. The most I can offer is for men to treat women the way they'd appreciate being treated and vice versa and for each gender to stop generalizing about the other based on your own experiences in which you played some form of active role until you decided to stop playing that role. In other words, grow up and be responsible for your own decisions and who you pick for partners. It really starts and ends there.
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