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 1kindMan4U
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 76
Love,Quality of life and who paysPage 4 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
Bless you my arabian angelface

Now to post my answers to the previous page

LOL! Hey, don't shoot ME dude.....I'm just the messenger!!!!

Booboo ( I feel like Yogi Bear when I type that.. HEEEEEEEEEEEY BOOBOO)

I am not shooting the messenger. I'm embracing you for demonstrating intelligence about this.

HUG the messenger.. just make sure the opposition sees that this messenger wears a DRESS (and I dont mean west-hollywood either)

I realize and accept that a LOT of men now have a double standard about certain things.. Frankly.. I tend to think it is the EFFECT of the cause and effect science.

These "Entitlement Sisters" as you've labeled them have MILITANTLY fought for their "equality" Now dont get me wrong here.. I BELIEVE in equal pay for equal work. When that "women's movement boardmember NOW economist" came out with the extensive study that showed when women work in the workplace, right out of school JUST LIKE A MAN, the differential is 2 cents. TWO CENTS DIFFERENCE in pay. He was summarily dismissed from N.O.W.

I also believe in equal opportunity. NOT the government sanctioned kind, but true OPPORTUNITY with NO obstacles, be it race or gender to be put in the way. HOWEVER.. it is KNOWN that a white male has virtually NO CHANCE of ever getting an SBA loan.. UNLESS it is a business in some downtrodden industry. WOMEN are getting PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT in business startup financing.

BooBoo.. the biggest problem with those "Entitlement Sisters" is that they WRONGLY embraced what they THOUGHT was the source of male strength in the dog-eat-dog competitive marketplace.. THEY thought it was ANGER needed to be TOUGH. They tossed out femininity to grasp that anger. They then placed that anger towards men and TOOK IT PERSONALLY when the men fought/pushed back.
They wanted it both ways.. Give me preference.. give me a greater-than-equal RIGHT to be here, because I am a woman.. NOT because I EARNED IT.

"Step back boys.. it's OUR turn"

But then they ALSO wanted to play what I call the "Cleavage Game" Such as.. Dressing to the 9's with cleavage, legs showing.. lipstick, hair and nails.. but then ACCUSE the men of being lechers cause we noticed.. THEY then went to court claiming an innocence in THEIR PARTICIPATION in that sexually charged workplace. Hell.. talk about waving a redflag in front of a bull.. then CRYING cause the bull charges.. And now I see on this site ALL the women who are asking how to approach co-workers.WTF? but I digress

There ARE men who willingly try to give the equality of respect, consideration, appreciation that women want. However.. I have said for eons

"Women INSPIRE men to CHERISH them"

You dont DEMAND that your man do more.. or DEMAND that he go south on you when you gave up BJ's on your wedding day.. you dont DEMAND that he go buy your feminine products that once you got married you CONVENIENTLY always run out of.. something you NEVER did when single. I mean.. Whether it is RIGHT or not for men to be embarrassed over it.. WE ARE. It IS teased about.. and considered UNMANLY for men to DO certain things that HAVE been the domain of women. And if you women dont LIKE that men STILL FEEL THIS WAY.. Well, talk to your mothers.. the HUGE number of single mothers who have raised their sons to be squeamish about it all. Go ask your own brothers who were raised during YOUR time growing up these last 40 postfeminist years how THEY feel about going through the checkout aisle with a jumbo pack of tampons. And then stop asking men to do it.

Now.. to the next poster who said:

"The 1950's is well and truly over"

Oh yeah? NOT in divorce court it isnt.. Over 95% of spousal maintenance and support is PAID by men. Hell.. he PAID when she was a spouse. Why is he paying a Not-a-spouse-any- longer?

Where's the "equality" in that? Especially if women have NOT been staying at home all their lives and DO have income earning skills. Marriage is NOT an annuity to pay you a return on your investment for life.

You want to be SUPPORTED as a spouse? Stay the F home and BE a spouse. Once you STOP.. the lifestyle of HIS wallet stops. Same as moving out of Daddy's home. Once you are ON YOUR OWN.. you DONT get the freedom and lifestyle that DADDY provided. And you arent ENTITLED to any inheritance either.. NEITHER gender is. but again I digress

Now on to Belle's WHIPPED son.

I admire you for NOT being that meddlesome mother-in-law. It's a little sad that she DIDNT meddle just a bit in the early days of his dating. I'd be willing to bet this shrewish "entitlement sister" demonstrated her attitude early on in the dating.

Belle.. there is NO confusion.. only a beaten-down-dog in your son.

He needs to "man up" and start TELLING her what he expects. He needs to also contact a lawyer about what will happen WHEN her entitled ass goes to cash in.. and frankly.. he needs to be ready to play dirty and hide money.. hide assets.. cancel credit cards the whole nine yards.. Sounds like your daughter-in-law is a piece of work

THEN he needs to file the papers.. ask for FULL custody (since he does ALL the home-maker work anyway), kick HER out of the CHILDREN's FAMILY HOME and get a restraining order.

He should also get support for her IMPUTED INCOME ( income AS IF she worked a 40 hour week)

You can step in to help with those grandbabies, help your son with his cojone recovery too

Nice to see you say that your husband EARNED all that you provided him.. Sounds like you were/are a good woman

then margo

Margo.. I have a 21 yr old daughter.. She knows power tools.. home remodeling, auto repair AND just has her dad's old-fashioned rennaisance-man approach to doing or knowing almost EVERYTHING in a do-it yourself way.. with an appreciation for skilled craftsmanship. I almost pity the man she eventually chooses whenever something breaks in their home.

then grandma again


"At least I did that when I was a stay-at-home mom and wife. My husband came home to relax and wan't made to do anything.He earned that.
EXACTLY RIGHT Belle Lass! That was "your job"....to make sure that when HE came home from work, the house was ALREADY clean, the kids were taken care of, their dinners were cooked and HE COULD relax and enjoy what he was "paying for". I don't mean that to sound "derogatory" in any way....but it was in fact what he was "supporting"..... or "his reward" for going to work every day. And THAT Ladies and Gentlemen.....is what real "homemakers" DID. Not this crap we see today, where women claim the "title", but FAIL to do ANY of the WORK! And MEN...don't deny that YOU support this 2000 woman nonsense! I know you DO! When you grow the "equipment" to tell that "stay at home mom" that she don't need no stinking car keys....cause she just "stays at home".....THEN you come back here and whine to us. When she has the house clean and the kiddies squared away and dinner on the table, THEN she might get to borrow YOUR car to go to her sister's Tupperware party.

I'll stand up for YOU against these "entitlement sisters"....you bet I will.....in a heartbeat....because your DADS did for me when I wanted to work and contribute to my family's financial well being....but FIRST....you need to stand up for YOURSELVES and stop whining about being taken advantage of when it's you yourselves who are begging for it by dating these worthless excuses of "femininity".

woo hoo.. Ms. boo boo I celebrate you.

but when I say it.. I'm anti-women.. a misogynist, or angry..

Ladies.. CHOOSE. CHOOSE what you want to be. Do you want to be cherished? Then EARN it. INSPIRE men to WANT to do it. BE feminine again.. as well as the new generation of overtly sexual

RE-learn the following.. Appreciation, Admiration, Acceptance ... season it with demure, coy, flirtatious, fun, funny, generous-in-spirit, genteel, and GRACE. You'll have your PICK of men.

Ya know.. women try to say we men are like dogs

Well.. You heard it here first from a MAN

WE ARE. We're loyal, playful, cum when called upon, We'll do the heavy lifting.. bring in the paper and slippers.. fight any invader to the death, even pee where you tell us to (as long as we can lift our leg to DO it)

ALL we want is that scratch behind the ear.. regular meals, something to drink.. and to allow us to hump your leg(or other places) when we get the urge.

Yeah.. I want to be a woman's dog.. Loyal to the core(just not that little in the purse fluffer of Paris Hilton.. gawd.. PLEASE.. not THAT dog)

Edit for the poster below

My gawd woman.. if you didnt SEE my own complexity within my post to know the dog comment was for humor..

Frankly.. I am 100% responsible for my lot in life. That's why I ENJOY my life so much.. I even enjoy any misery that comes my way.. cause I can CHOOSE to feel it, to wallow in it.. or go change it.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 77
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:46:41 PM
WE ARE. We're loyal, playful, cum when called upon, We'll do the heavy lifting.. bring in the paper and slippers.. fight any invader to the death, even pee where you tell us to (as long as we can lift our leg to DO it)

ALL we want is that scratch behind the ear.. regular meals, something to drink.. and to allow us to hump your leg(or other places) when we get the urge.

Yeah.. I want to be a woman's dog.. Loyal to the core


Cute. However, men are much more complex creatures than you give them credit for, even if you are one. You discredit them by inferring they only want the basics out of life and they're good to go. They are just as emotional as women but not as expressive about it. They want contentment, sure. So do women. This competition for superiority has got to go. Neither are better than the other and as soon as some of one gender stop thinking they have it over the other, that's when all the bashing will stop. Good luck with that though. There are to many people with inferiority complexes that insist on asserting themselves by bashing (which amounts to whining most times), instead of taking a good long hard look in the mirror and realizing they are at last 1/2 to blame for their lot in life.
 forumrum
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 78
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:10:09 PM
It works both ways. It's 2009, not 1959. The old roles and expectations are just that, old.

I would not date a woman in a lesser financial situation, nor social situation. I don't care what she looks like or how good she is in bed. Times have changed. I will never financially support anyone. I'll be your partner, not your supporter.
 ~DREAMS~
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 79
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:42:50 PM
I have read most of this thread but I just may think differently on many things touched upon within the various postings.

I think the main thing is how to think about money.

Aside from when the fed decides to stimulate by printing a big batch of bills most of the money is owned by someone. be it a company, government, or the people that live within one of those two enviroments.

From what I read several people think that having a job is making money. You are not making money when you are working for someone else. The money is already made and owned by someone else.

They are instead giving it to you not totally because you spent time at their factory, company, store, or resturant. Instead they are agreeing that you would be a person worthy of assisting in keeping the flow moving.

Example ...... When money is moving around like when you buy a new outfit, go out to eat, buy a new product etc the result is a balance of sorts. When the money takes a pause or stops moving is when people start having issues.

While it is moving likening the flow of money to that of a river it allows for people to see where the river flows and find a container of some kind to get a drink of it. AKA The start a business of some kind so that they can drink from the well.

That business owner will usually be smart enough to grab a bucket or barrel full of that flow as it passes by their doors so that they can have enough for themselves to drink from yet also enough to share with others that are willing to help them keep the bucket topped off.

Since most people do not know the locations that the rivers of flow travel through they instead need to work for someone that does know where the river is and has diverted some of its liguid flow to pass by their business in the form of a stream which allows their employees to gather it to be placed in their bucket or barrel or whatever they are using to gather the funds in.

In the 40's and 50's the women were the main consumers in the market place. But they wanted to find a way to have a drink from that big river of flow that was seen.

You can not bash on women for being smart enough to see a flow, getting thirsty, and desiring a drink from it.

So they created their own flowing systems. Started complete markets, and industries adding open buckets to catch flow in the very streams they spent adding to.

Buckets and barrels for them to share from started poping up all over the place resulting in many women going to work.

Generaly speaking at that time in history those opposed to women working assumed that the women would be taking the jobs away from the men.

While yes in some cases that has happened it is mostly recently that it has happened the majority of the women working was the result of women creating their own markets.

Fashion, cosmetics, personal service industries cattering to the softer side of life ;)

Complete untapped markets that that movement established to complete their end goal of equality.

The trouble is like said earlier... The majority of the money is already in the system so in order to utilize that money as rivers and streams passing by the places that women had built as containers that meant women had to discover way to get the money from one river to a totally new river of finacial fluidity that they were setup to stream from.

Ah the great birth of media which allowed anyone having enough in their containers to call out to others to keep the flow moving by purchasing their brands. The most sucessfull at it would be granted larger streams of flow to use to split into larger qty's of smaller streams AKA ability to hire more people to help gather up the money flowing by the businesses door step.

the problems are the gready ***holes that chose to build dams to stop a stream to try and build a lake.

Well just like water flow money flows the same way when that happens. the stream pressure increases as the level rises and eventually it creates enough back pressure to cause the water to stop flowing into that stream and instead stay contained within the rivers main flow to trickle down to a different stream that is not damned up.

in a nut shell....

true equality can never be found between the sexes untill the day that both sexes have equal amounts of main river flow to partake from.

It is not even close. 1 man has more money than almost all the fortunes amassed by women combined, and trust me women like Oprah out in the world are not exactly anywhere near a welfare line. so we are talking about HUGE rivers of monitary flow

And that is not even considering all the other men that also have large rivers of flow.

When you have that much volume the detriments of even stoping flow for a short while has enough power to dry up many of the streams feeding the buckets and barrels downstream from their main source. Which would also result in those smaller containers that the majority of the people are actully drinking from to start thinking of rationing.

We as a society of people already experienced that before and a lot of people died as a result.

It is still happening in other countries right this very moment.

So the topic is LOVE, Quality of life, and WHO pays.

LOVE....

What do you love in life? Because someone that knows this is well on the way to happiness. How much do you love it and do you love it enough to ensure its survivial?

Quality of Life....

Choose the quality of life you desire but be sure that you bucket, barrel, or persistant stream has sufficient flow to maintain that quality of life or it no longer seen as a quality and instead switches over to a burden of life.

Who pays....

Everyone downstream of you!!!!!!!!

If you are standing at the same river bank or tributary stream as others and you are closer to the source than they are that means whatever fluid you are filling your buckets and barrels with is that much less everyone else downstream will have avaialable to share. ( means everyone at the end of the stream trying to get a drink end up fighting over it because there is not enough volume left to sustain the amount of glasses being held out searching for a drink.

Bottom line.....

Don't blame the women for wanting to make sure their glasses have something in them to offer their thirsty children. It isn't the women holding the keys to the damn upstream. If the ***holes upstream will open the flow up to allow the rivers, streams, and tributaries to maintain higher levels of containment there would be less fighting over the last few trickles at the end.

Just my opinions. If it didn't make sense sorry it makes sense to me so i assumed maybe it may also make sense to someone else.
 1kindMan4U
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 80
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:46:10 PM
I only glanced and it DIDNT make sense.. and was NOT germane to the whole post.. but thanks for sharing ECON for dummies
 yew4ic
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 81
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:46:57 PM
1kindman,
I'm very familiar with the book "Hes Just Not That Into You." I have read it 3 times. A very well written book, btw. Yes, I am an idealist, and maybe it is shining through when I say that most men do not see their own offspring as burdens. Even the statistics at the child support enforcement office do not persuade me to believe this. If it is a surprise to most men when they find out the wife is pregnant, I just don't know what to say to that either. If it is an unpleasant surprise, then he is just as responsible to help that not happen. He should keep his genes in his jeans so to speak. I have little to no sympathy for men who **** about this. I DO have sympathy for the ones who really are stuck with a lazy woman...and the same for women who have lazy husbands. Know the person real well, before you marry them. My marriage was not perfect. Far from. But I was never made to feel like me and the kids were burdens. That's because I worked hard as a Mom and took it seriously. Now, I have 3 adult children who make me so proud, it brings me to the brink of conceit.
 dysfunction_junction
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 82
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:00:47 PM
Bringing up the hackneyed grade 9 anthropology conjecture as a basis for being "money centric" is a joke.

i disagree. how else would you explain the vast majority of men whose primary interest in a woman is "physical beauty", and the vast majority of women whose primary interest in men is their "assets"??

You're assuming that anyone who thinks negatively about a materialistic woman is doing so because he doesn't have the bucks.
Fallacy.


nope. you're merely making assumptions about my assumptions. why would you do that? because you have a gender-specific axe to grind?? nowhere did i utter the word "anyone" and nowhere did i even imply it. i'm painting in deliberately broad strokes, for sure. interestingly enough, half of your reaction to what i wrote actually supported the point i was making. conveniently for you though, it was only in the context of your apparently misogynistic, wounded male psyche tendencies. nice.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 83
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:13:25 PM

THEY thought it was ANGER needed to be TOUGH. They tossed out femininity to grasp that anger. They then placed that anger towards men and TOOK IT PERSONALLY when the men fought/pushed back.


You make a lot of valid points Kindman....however it's only fair to look at the mistreatment women have suffered dating back even as far as the perpetuated mistreatment of the Catholic inquisition...How much did women suffer? They were branded all sorts of things from witches to disobedient whores that were punished if they God forbid voiced their opinions...Women, I believe have suffered more in history than any man could ever think of in this day and age. They were FORCED to suppress their feelingsā€¦...all of which could be the root of the anger you speak of.
 ~DREAMS~
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 84
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:20:08 PM

I only glanced and it DIDNT make sense.. and was NOT germane to the whole post.. but thanks for sharing ECON for dummies


Well maybe if more than a glance was done it might have been seen that it does have to do with the thread.

If someone can dip their glass in and pull out a full container while someone else is running around downstream collecting trickles the one with the full glass can spend more time drinking it since it was not as hard to collect.

I think that has everything to do with quality of life.

As for econ for dummies to some yes it may seem basic but even many that spout off about knowing how the econamy works still don't show it with their actions.

They will go to the store and complain about sales tax and then drive off and hit a pot hole and bytch that the town didn't fix it. Or they will buy something out of state from the internet and then complain that there are not enough cops patroling their neiborhoods protecting them from those who chose to take instead of earn.

Speak to the few morons that took econ 101 that think they got to world all figured out now and how monitary flow trully works just cause they saw a pie chart in a text book but have no way to relate those to real world senarios.

Econ class may show you what is happenening but it damn sure can not explain WHY it is happening.

My example was like a econ for dummies?????? I don't remember any Econ class able to explain to me why people choose to stay down at the end of the streams to fight with everyone else down there.

Not like there is anything blocking someone from moving further up the stream where there are less people and more volume of flow.

Just too lazy to walk upstream and instead would rather sit in the mud puddles at the end bytching that someone would try to dip their glass into their puddle.

NEWS FLASH!!!! Move your azz further upstream and you can use a big enough container capable of holding more than what you need to survive and it really is not that big of an issue if someone is thirsty needing a drink of what you collected.

Think that has everything to do with quality of life so how is it not germane to the post?
 yew4ic
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 85
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:20:39 PM
Chameleon[[[Cute. However, men are much more complex creatures than you give them credit for, even if you are one. You discredit them by inferring they only want the basics out of life and they're good to go.]]]

Idunno Chameleon. I tend to think 1Kind is right about this. Chris Rock said he needs only 3 things: Feed me, **** me, and shut the **** up. " and he's happy. So, if Chris Rock says it.....
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:21:28 PM
Money doesn't get old,fat and cranky so i guess women are smart in what they go after....long after what attracted a man to a woman is gone what attracted her to him is most of the time still there providing everything it always did.....yep women are just smarter i guess.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 87
view profile
History
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:32:58 PM

I only glanced and it DIDNT make sense.. and was NOT germane to the whole post.. but thanks for sharing ECON for dummies
LOL!!! Well, I read every single word...and promptly filed it under PBS (propaganda and bullsheet)
 HappyHeart777
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 88
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:48:36 PM
I will only date or get involved with someone who is able to provide for them self and their children. I expect my partner to be a partner not a provider. My carrer of choice will make it next to impossible to ever be rich but it shows my dept of character and that is so much more valuable than money. I look for the same in another. Depth of character not dept of pockets!!
 Impossible Made Possible
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 89
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:58:49 PM
One little car wreck and you are paralyzed for life. Why wait for that type of situation to understand that true love has nothing to do with money or earning it.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 90
view profile
History
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:00:56 PM
Yea broke men. Scared that women want what they just plain haven't got and so cry boo hoo over women not dating them because they don't make enough money .... Hey try making just a bit of money. Move the hell out of your mothers basement, tell me again how you are an "Entrepreneur" because you sell baseball cards on E-Bay. Ohhhh come on lets hear another story how your X took all your money and so now you have no life. Now you are shaking your piggy bank and worried that the women on here are gold digging for your chump change.

The truth is most women on here probably have more solid jobs than the men, have more liquid cash for an emergency, and have plain all round better lives that the effeminate men who continuously post about pre-nups and women wanting free dinners. What are you pre nupping about really ??? I doubt most of you can even afford to get a pre-nup drafted by a lawyer let alone know how to divide your no home, no cash, no retirement ... It's ALL buillshiit cause you don't really have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
Wooooo Hoooooo!!!! My new Shero!!! LOL!

That's right!!!! Of course I don't want to support a man...JUST LIKE....I don't want any man to support me! (financially) That makes us women, "independent" and "masculine"; therefore....that leaves you (men) only with the "gold-diggers" who are MORE than HAPPY to tell you how feminine and dependent they are.....as they leave you with no pot to piss in or window to throw it out of!!! LOL! And, like I said....you ever decide to grow some testicles and dump these lazy good for nothing excuses for women and we'll have your backs. That's right! We don't like those women any more than you guys do...but damn.....every time we try to tell you how bad you're getting shafted....all we hear is....."well....she cried really BIG ASS tears...so she MUST have been sincere!" Yeah, right!!! You want to see how sincere she is....tell her to get off her ass and get a job and pay 1/2 the mortgage payment!!!!

But for pity sake, stop bashing those of us who believe in TRUE equality when we're just trying to defend you for goodness sakes! If you want a "homemaker"....great, you know...that's a respectable job and worthy of praise.....but MAKE SURE you get one like BELLE LASS....a REAL one....who did her job; not one of these whiny 2009 types who thinks she should get paid and 3/4 the farm just for popping out a couple kids and hiring babysitters to raise them because they're busy at the gym.....then YOU have to come home after a day and work and do all THEIR work.
 yew4ic
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 91
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:02:34 PM
Strings[[[Money doesn't get old,fat and cranky so i guess women are smart in what they go after....long after what attracted a man to a woman is gone what attracted her to him is most of the time still there providing everything it always did.....yep women are just smarter i guess. ]]]


Honestly...I really don't know women who go after money. I have never met one. I do know alot of women, including myself, who will not date someone who is is in huge debt, unemployed, or any kind of financial irresponsibiity going on in their life. I'm 45, and have never personally met a woman who has said " He has to be rich." Yes, it is said in a joking manner. But not seriously.Not in my circle of friends, or acquaintances.
 CordlessTaco
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 92
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:09:25 PM

I will only date or get involved with someone who is able to provide for them self and their children. I expect my partner to be a partner not a provider. My carrer of choice will make it next to impossible to ever be rich but it shows my dept of character and that is so much more valuable than money. I look for the same in another. Depth of character not dept of pockets!!


Good for you HappyHeart, I agree. That's midwestern values. Unfortunately, I don't see a lot of that mentality here on the left coast.
 Ahappygal
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 93
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:09:58 PM

Love,Quality of life and who pays


Love is based on the quality of life that have been created. Otherwise, if ones don't have the quality of life, they need to fill up their stomach first or wait for their luck...
 monalee1
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 94
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:20:23 PM
hi...OP, I feel like the overall view in your post is too extreme... for most decent women money is not the issue, a good job that can support 1-2 people or assets that can see them through these hards times is not asking the sun, moon and stars... most balanced women see a successful man as productive, smart, secure, blah blah, this is what is attractive... I have a good job with a decent income that would more than contribute to a marriage, I want the same from a man... in todays economy a lot of people have lost decent jobs that they held for yrs and yrs, women included, a good woman would be understanding of this yet ~even~ with a job loss there should be obvious indications that the man was successful in life prior to the global economy crash.... good women get it OP and a good woman wants a man with a good character, a character that includes being a hard worker who is willing to do what it takes to bounce back... blessings for balance and happiness
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 95
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:24:34 PM
I think you're talking to a different generation than mine, or to men on a different planet...

Mostly she's referring to men who complain about women who have no room for men in their lives in other threads - including the one where almost all of them admitted a woman in need is more attractive because it gives men a "needed" feeling, whatever that is.

There are threads where men claim that women who try to be like men aren't attractive...which I always find funny because I don't see any particular skill as being "like" a certain gender.

There are many men in this forum, therefore on this planet that have a problem with a woman who's got her self together "too much" - again, whatever that means.

Then there are the posts that basically blame women for ruining the family unit and straight out saying they should have stayed in the kitchen. Not all men feel this way, but they are out there.

Bottom line is a woman will either need you to take care of her or she won't - and a lot of men are trying to cross wires, and find a woman who takes care of herself but has all the free time in the world to cater to him. It's not possible to find a woman who's going to do both realistically.

As I mentioned earlier in this thread, the OP in another thread mentioned something to the effect that men will usually be drawn to women who need rescuing quicker because it appeals to their sense of wanting to fix things. *shrug*
 camper28
Joined: 7/30/2009
Msg: 96
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:55:48 PM
My job in a relationship not to pay someone elses bills whether I am just in a relationship pr married to the person.

My job is only to give love not financial support, a person that dismisses someone as not dateable because they can't contribute financially is shallow.

Someone who is going to judge you on finances are the kind of people that won't be there when things go really sour.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 97
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:03:02 PM

The topic is about the monetary "greed" some must have in order to feel content. Do you get that?

The topic is about love, quality of life...and then the who pays crap, as per usual, overshadows everything else in just about every thread. The contentment I speak of has absolutely nothing to do with the financial side of things, but I see you just can't get around that and it always goes back to women using men for financial gain. I get it about both men and women who have certain expectations. I also get that there are hidden agendas - for both. As I said before, there are men who throw money around like a hook at the end of a line while they troll for women because something else about their personality or whatever is lacking. Then they get these sort of women in a full blown committed sort of relationship and cry the blues that the women are still expecting the same form of free loading showmanship that the men used to attract them with in the first place. The woman is obviously lazy, stupid, a user and any other term you want to use and the man is an idiot for not realizing his method of obtaining this sort of woman gets him what he gets. Do you get that?

When the "bashing" will stop is when there are no more sexist double standards and wanting to be treated as "equal", and distinctly "underprivileged" at the same time.
Wanting to be treated, looked upon, and respected as an independent adult when it suits them, and then be treated, looked upon and behave like a dependent child when it benefits them.

It's not a double standard when you have men that attract certain types of women by flash and then expect them to act differently later on. Like WTF! You see it as these type of women wanting to be treated, looked up to, and respected as an independent adult when it suits them, when you are failing to realize that the men in these particular cases have acted like Mr. Moneybanks to get these type of women and then they act all surprised and shocked because they were playing their own game to begin with.


You can't suck and blow at the same time.

Exactly my point. He throws his money around and then whines that she's the type that still expects it later on and he feels all used up financially. Well, duh. If he's going to have an agenda to attract a woman, expect to get one who acts that way. Alternatively, don't act like a big spender and play into these sort of women and then complain about it afterwards. Talk about acting like a child!


Grow up, acknowledge it, and deal with it.
The gravy train is over.

I trust that one's not directed at me, personally, and just at the topic of certain women with the gold digging mentality. I'm one of those independent women certain men love to hate because I have the intelligence to see to my own needs and not even think of relying on a man to do so financially. I can't help it if certain men would feel inadequate because of it - that's their baggage to deal with, not mine. A man who plays into that whole "looking after the helpless lil damsel in distress" thing irritates the chit out of me, as do the women who go for it. My train doesn't even stop at their station to begin with, never mind getting off and on it. I don't try to buy men like some men try to buy women and then said men paint all women with the same brush because of their own stupidity and inability to get into a relationship any other way than to dangle material items as incentive for said relationship. Both of those types of individuals need growing up, not just one of them.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 98
view profile
History
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:15:02 PM

I think you're talking to a different generation than mine, or to men on a different planet...
Well.....DUHHHHHHH....YEAH. Since the OP is 11 yrs older than you....and a member of MY generation....not yours. Sorry I didn't answer the question that YOU MEANT to ask.....but he beat you to the punch.


The men here are talking about, and how to avoid parasites.
I do believe that I answered that quite directly in my first comment when I stated that the FIRST thing they need to do is STOP looking for those kinds of women.

I'm old, but not totally senile yet....so, yes...I DO remember which names I see in OTHER threads who support a very particular set of "values and ideals". Just so happens that in THIS case, the OP is generally a great fan of "feminine women....who are not able to care for themselves independently"

Your first 3 dissenting opinions didn't even address the statements so, I'll discount those.
This one however:
Uhhh...those days are in the past. Some of us never lived it, and have no interest in having a "homemaker" wife.
What you describe is like adopting a child. The thought of adopting a "wife", like I would a child, makes my skin crawl....
Excuse me....I didn't know that YOU were the OP hiding out incognito. I was addressing HIS statements.....not those that you had yet to make. Perhaps that is NOT what YOU want....but it IS what HE wants. (read his posting HISTORY)




I will only date or get involved with someone who is able to provide for them self and their children. I expect my partner to be a partner not a provider. My carrer of choice will make it next to impossible to ever be rich but it shows my dept of character and that is so much more valuable than money. I look for the same in another. Depth of character not dept of pockets!!

There are a few who do get it. Here's an example of what many men will trample over entitlement princesses and "materialistic" women for....
Yes, SOME men will....unfortunately FEW of them in MY generation (or the OPs) will do so however. They're far too busy bashing those "independent working women" as being too masculine; hence....my comment....that "THEY ASK FOR IT".
 Savona
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 99
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:58:12 PM


The men here are talking about, and how to avoid parasites.


And I have found that MOST men on POF are so needy that they themselves cling like parasites. They are the ones who want to know how much a woman has in her retirement fund before the first meet n greet. Wow talk about allot of needy, insecure, boo hoo babies.

I have been written to and chatted on the phone with more men who live in mommies basements, in the basement of their and their X's house and bla bla bla all bull crapolie.

It still kills me that I am the one called negative when I have NEVER asked a man what he makes but wahooooo if you knew the amount of men who ask me what I make. How many deals I have done this year.

The men on here who think that the women are mostly gold diggers ... hello look at your brothers. The men are the BIGGEST gold diggers, cheap ass, tight wads, unable to attach emotionally unless they know how many dollars a gal has in her account.

If you could know how many men have ripped women on from on line you would NOT be shocked ... hey you men already know all about that shiit.

If you are so worried that a woman will diminish your quality of life then what the hell are you doing stopping at my mail box ... seriously pass me on by. To the person who wondered why I am on here ... I don't date from on line .... I like to post. And the problem with that would be ???

I couldn't think of but one or two men who post that I would even consider getting to know better. AND the differences between our lives would be far to vast to try. So we stay internet chatter friends. The rest of the men ... the biggest whinnnnnnnners I have known in my life.

The man wine ::::: We want independent women ... ohhh but then they might dump my ass if I am not needed, and seriously if there is no drama, money issues, or stalker troubles then what can I fix for them. What will I do if I am not needed ...

Here is what I want to need a man for. Hey honey, can you patch the roof, or build me a beautiful picket fence ??? Yeaaa well I am cooking you up a delight and bringing you a nice cold beer. THAT is the quality of life that I want improved.

I want SEX and LOVE and AFFECTION that is what I want in my life. Who pays? Well at 70 who gives a fuuk ... saying we get that far along.

Every thread always turns to women wanting money ... NO we want SEX. Good sex. Great loving, lots of meaningful mental calisthenics. We want a man who can be a man in REAL LIFE. That is priceless. Whiner men are a friggin dime a dozen. They are crawling all over the forums, and on line looking for a woman, any woman ... just any woman who will accept a cheepie.

Well I am not a cheepie, I am very generous, in life and in love. I only want the same. So for the men who think most women are gold diggers ... kiss my lily white azz. Ahhh forget it ... I wouldn't even let you close enough to do that.

Savona
 Savona
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 100
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:35:08 PM
^^^ and thanks I am enjoying myself. Just reading all the whiney men threads and watching dancing with the stars.

I am not in the least insecure. I am actually very secure that I can write what I feel and not have to worry about oh if the men read this they might not ask me out ....

Awww come on you know the type of men and women who post what the other sex wants to read and it isn't whats on their mind at all. Then they go and get drunk and post in the middle of the night ... we read it in the morning and laugh our asses off because we finally know their true colours.

So for those who don't like what I write ... don't read it. Don't like my attitude then there is a pretty good chance I won't like your attitude either.

Anyway I love my computer, so no I won't burn it. I NEED my computer to book my tickets to go south when I feel snowed in this winter. That is my real life, and I LOVE my quality of life ... and I pay for it all on my little own self by working. Which there are tons of men on here who actually work only as hard as walking to the mail box to get their welfare cheque. So lets be honest here ... who is really going to pay for whom.

Why the one with the job is going to pay if they date men who pretend to work, and vice versa.

So what up with the gold digger threads ... FIX it men .... date only women who work. If you are a sponge ... date a sponge. If you are a giver date a giver ... if your shiit doesn't stink, date a non stinky just like you ...

Why do men what what they can't give, or why won't they date equal to them. Make good choices then you won't have to worry if someone wants your two toonies that you have stashed in your little pink bank for a coffee ... on your great meet n greets.

I will stick to real life men thanks.

Savona
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