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Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 26
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilkPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
boston69...i believe you are rambling...any woman who would pay her own way on a date...or be happy with a man offering nothing but a unclear of her worth...she is offer all in hope of a payday won't work as you go is my policy...
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 27
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:56:06 PM
True, Stacey, but those guys who go for GD's know what they're getting into. They don't mind the trade off. Anyway, if they're both happy, then so be it. Although, I suspect men who do this would prefer the woman really liked him. He's not quite "enough" to really attract the woman he wants, so he uses his money as a lure. The woman involved often isn't all that into him, but she can't resist the lure. I'm sure she would prefer a guy with money to whom she is genuinely attracted. When people can't get exactly what they want, they will go for the next best thing. Maybe, every once in a while they both are really attracted - hopefully, anyway!
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 28
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:13:59 AM
I am quite old enough to have been with, either living with or dating, enough guys to know for sure that the only truly happy times I have had have ALWAYS without fail, been with those guys who didn't earn a huge wage. And it didn't really matter since my own earning potential has always been good. I just love those dates where going out into the woods or hiking or walking along a beach front village has been worth far more than the expensive dinner in London. When I was younger I was attracted to guys who did earn more than me, but that was because they were older, in the workforce longer, etc. etc. Now that is no longer very true.

And maybe these guys do all see it coming and know what they are getting into. But honestly. how many of us women on this site and just out there in general have been with guys who seemed so perfect, so wonderful, and honest, only to find out later that we were being deceived? Lots. So what makes everyone think that ALL of these guys do see it coming. What about those guys who just happen to earn a lot, but are alone and just want a real loving relationship. It is pretty hard to date a person without bringing who you are and what you do into the equation. So I am not so convinced that all of these guys use the money as a lure. Some do no doubt, just like a lot of women use hot looks as a lure. And yes, I am one of those women just gullible enough to believe that a guy is interested in me because of who I am. Not for what they can get from me. I expect that most men are the same way. Either that or we really are from two different planets.
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 29
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 11/29/2009 2:30:23 PM
startle, you speak as though you literally have a price stamped across your ass. I read your posts and think if a guy slides a couple hundred bucks across the table, he can take you home and slide his d!ck inside you. Geeze, woman, have some self respect!

As far as spotting gold diggers, yes we can spot them. Most of us aren't daft. I actually had a very brief experience right here in POF of a chick attempting to gold mine me. It was fascinating! Not that good, refreshing fascinating, but that "spotting a leprechaun riding a unicorn under a rainbow while Puff the magic dragon flies overhead" kind of fascinating. I mean, I've heard and read about them, but never experienced one in real life! LOL She was completely transparent, too. One of the first things she said to me was that she only wears "name brand" fashion. The second thing is she asked me to take her out to an expensive haunted house type of deal. (No, not 10 or 20 bucks, I'm talking over a hundred dollars here!)

She was flabbergasted when I told her that I wear Levis jeans. Her comment was, "Only redneck white guys wear those jeans!" And of course she moves on to ask what car I drive which, incidentally, turns out to be her favorite brand. Blah, blah, blah. All the usual suspect stuff. And what's funny is she'd try to play those manipulative mind games on me. She'd start asking me if I'd take her here, buy her that, etc. When I'd say no, she'd give me that "look" and ask me, "You wouldn't buy me [this] or take me [there]?!?" like I'd be crazy for not wanting to. My thoughts would be, "****, you ain't fvckin'!! Hell NO I'm not doing that for you!" Mind you, all this happened in the run of a single weekend that we FIRST met!

I could go on, but suffice it to say it was mind boggling. And the icing on the cake was that she clearly had no real interest in me or of ever even "putting out" for the stuff she was wanting. If she was willing to put out, I would've went along for at least a little while to get my kicks out of her. She was even wanting me to drive an hour out of my way just to take her out so she can hang w/ her friends and see one of them play in his band. In my mind, I'm thinking, "This **** is completely crazy!" When I told her it wasn't gonna work out for me, she actually got an attitude and said I'm "looking for a ho', not a "real" woman." Anyway, though...

Yes, we can spot them.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 30
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Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/4/2009 5:22:10 PM
I only WISH I had a real problem with gold diggers.
I use the old fashioned way to keep them at bay: I'm underpaid, and over billed. Unlike the guy who CLAIMS he's secretly well to do [riiiiiiight. Just described in detail under his name that he's a good target for GD's by way of casual conversation], I am ACTUALLY not especially well off.

As for the OP question, there are plenty of kinds of 'gold diggers' out there, of both sexes. The ones most commonly labeled GD's are after money, but there are plenty more after one-way emotional comfort, or trying to create the appearance of a socially approved family life, or to have any number of human desires fulfilled without being willing to give equally in return. To me, just because they aren't after money, doesn't mean they aren't GD's at heart.
Some folks of each sex can easily tell when they are being taken, others can't, at least at first. Having never experienced the GOLD version, I couldn't say how obvious it would be.
I would guess that one would likely get an empty feeling if the person they were spending their time and emotions on wasn't returning true affection.
All in all, though I can't see the point of telling someone that I THINK they are being ripped off. Perhaps if they don't know, it means that they need to go through it and GET ripped off, in order to learn. Having someone else tell them will leave them just as vulnerable the next time.

One last thing, IMO, the most boring part of this thread has been the tired, old retreads of the "women's lib made all women selfish"/ "men don't do enough around the house"/"men SHOULD pay for the entire date"/"women are spoiled"/ etcetera, blah blah. Those are uninformative, and not really pertinent to the OP's question/point.
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 31
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/4/2009 9:28:08 PM
I suspect the men this women involves herself with know what is going on. And they accept it. Twisted? Yes. But it is really their problem, not yours.
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 32
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/4/2009 9:50:34 PM
How do you know she is a gold digger? She may be just trying to increase her chances of meeting Mr. Right.
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 33
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/5/2009 2:13:25 AM
I don't think any man on plenty of fish has any cause to worry about someone wanting to dig their gold. I mean for heavens sake it's a free dating site. Some people are overly paranoid. They think things like "OMG I paid for her dinner now she wants my," tiny", amount of money. Rest assured none of you have to worry about the true gold diggers.
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 34
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/5/2009 10:39:25 AM
The thing is... gold diggers don't go after average Joes. But its always the average Joes on here complaining about them. Actual gold diggers are out in 5 star hotel bars, on millionaire matchmaker sites, sneaking into exclusive clubs or trolling expensive shopping centres.

A gal who wants a guy to ask her out on a date and pay for it... IS NOT A GOLD DIGGER. You're just a cheap **stard. The 'traditional' courting behavior has been around for a looong time and is not about to go away anytime soon.
- tuffluv1984

What about the fat gold diggers? They aren't about to distract millionaires with their hot bodies at exclusive clubs. The term "gold digger" doesn't reflect trying to dig for actual gold. The gold diggers who can't compete with the other gold diggers who are going for millionaires are stuck pawing at average joe's wallet.

I was talking to a few guy friends the other day about women and the things they are attracted to and we agreed that women of all walks of life are attracted to men who have money, but in an indirect way. Women are directly attracted to men who have confidence, who aren't cheap and have resource available to them.

For example, if a couple in on a date at a restaurant and the subject of wine and the good and bad elements comes up and and the guy just says "ok, well why don't we get a bottle and critique that instead of just imagine stuff we've had in the past?" and buys a 50$ bottle and continues the conversation over that. Later on, at the end of the night the guy says "You know what? I had a really great time tonight. Dinner is on me." Women aren't going to think "It's great this guy has money", they are more likely to think "This guy is really easy going, spontaneous and knows how to properly treat a nice woman like me".

Compare this with a guy who doesn't have much money... If the guy buys a $5 bottle of wine, either the conversation is going to turn negative because they would both be complaining about the poor quality bottle, or he is going to have to make fun of it in a condescending manner or he's just going to look plane cheap if he only focuses on all the good parts of a bad wine. If he doesn't buy any bottle, he isn't going to seem spontaneous. If the guy just says "you know what? I had a really great time tonight." and doesn't offer to pay for dinner, the woman is going to think the guy didn't enjoy himself all that much if he's being as petty as to bother sticking her with a $30 bill.

Guys always have enough money to be spontaneous and buy the $50 wine to discuss a good bottle. Guys always have enough money to cover a $30 meal to enjoy good company, right? Of course they do! The difference here between a guy with extra cash and a guy with less cash is that the guy with less cash is going to have to walk to work instead of ride the bus for the next week if he spends like this. A guy who makes lots of money really doesn't have to make any kind of sacrifice when he shows a woman he really enjoys spending time with her.

Women are attracted to men who can demonstrate they find them attractive and desirable. Guys with extra money can do this with ease (even if it doesn't cost them nearly as much as guys with hardly any extra money)

So part of my point here is that the reason average joe is complaining about a gold digger is because when his wife runs up a $2000 bill on the credit card because she was stressed out and went on a shopper spree, he has to make real sacrifices. $2000 is a month's wage. The guys who make $12,000,000 a year couldn't care less. If his wife spends $1,000,000 because she was stressed and went on a shopping spree... well it's going to be time to get a new hot wife
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 35
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/5/2009 5:31:07 PM
Wow the internet if filled with bitter and angry men/women who will paint all people of the opposite gender as all the same pieces of garbage they "chose" to be with in the past.You know if you keep meeting people who treat you like crap and you have relationships with them, do you want to know whose fault that is? It's your fault for picking them and it's your fault for having a relationship with them.
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 36
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Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/6/2009 7:56:21 AM

How do you know if a woman is out to get you for what you have and not for who you are. Do you care?~~~ So do you guys think you can figure it out yourself ?

Don't understimate the mentality of a man, when it comes to their money and their time. They know what is worth it or not.... They are tough negotiator and cunning in this universe...

I don't like what she is doing, but there is obviously no way that I can warn a guy what is going on,,,,,,Bye the way, she surfs all of the dating sites to find her prey.

Does it give you a good result policing some one about their private affairs ? My advice is get a life, and quit being busybody and mind your own business..

Besides, there are no mines (rich man) in a dating site to dig gold ... These rich guys are in some cruises/ exclusives single clubs /charity events auctioning themself as a hot bachelor for the highest bidder or looking for creme de la creme (a pedegree socialite) hot babes ,to spend their money for her conveniences..
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 37
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Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/6/2009 9:11:56 AM
I've met few POF rich guys (in my town ) in* their dreams * . The last one , meal is on me,picnic in a nice lake park,nearby my place... I feel sorry for them, they live with their lies ,they don't know if it is effective or not.. I guessed to hustle a woman who have 10 bucks on her purse or whatever their intention is...

I get my money back on what I spent on the food/pop sodas,because to learned something from others is priceless..~~~ If I want to be effective to others, I have to face my own reality and impress others OF WHAT I AM, NOT WHAT I GOT....

LMAO!!!! about the Golddigers and the Con Artist..
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 38
view profile
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/6/2009 10:14:08 AM

Don't understimate the mentality of a man, when it comes to their money and their time. They know what is worth it or not.... They are tough negotiator and cunning in this universe...

Vannili, you hit it right on the head! Most of us men have some sort of idea about a woman after the first date. Which is why i require meeting at public place and drinks ... to see if their is chemistry. If their is no chemistry, I'll give my date a pleasent Good Bye and she will never hear from me again. During drinks, I look for an assortment of personality and behavior traits. I am looking for a woman who likes me for me and understands that my career is demanding and requires a lot of my time. I'm not rich but I sure can do what "I" want with my money. So, I'm not looking to be "jerk around". I want to know, "are you worth my time". Later, after we've got to know one another, then I 'll as myself, "are you worth my money". The grim reality is, woman "play" with mens emotions and desires in order to get what she wants. But this is "my" life and it's NOT A GAME.

BTW, POF is a site that catters to "Average Men and Woman" who are looking for their "Average Couterparts". Though no REAL golddiggers are on POF, but there are some who are "up-n-coming" or "golddiggers-in-training".
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 39
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/6/2009 5:27:35 PM
I read the first 2 pages of this thread and have come to the conclusion NONE of you know what your talking about.

You wouldn't know a golddigger if she bit you on the azz! First off there AREN'T any here! There's nothing to dig here. What you think she's warm for your form for your Benz and 350 K condo? Or the 100K in your 401K? That won't keep them in lunch money!!!!!

As for the guys, how many men on here are liquid? I mean they work cause they want to, not because they have too. They have toys, houses and a bank account with 7 or 8 zero behind the first number. Yeah we have doctors, lawyers, business owners and the like but no top 2 or 3% in wealth on here.

These women are good looking, educated and very freindly. No not sex stupid, freindly as in they know what buttons to push, when to be coy, when to be an asset when you go to a party.

Now are there women who will use you for money here, sure. They will try to get you to pay her bills, her rent and anything they THINK they can get out of you. But they don;t rise to the level of goldigger. Think callgirl versus prostitute.

Next, the thing that happen here is you can get used for dinner. Now before everybody gets their panties in a bunch, understand what that means. She meets you, you sit down, order appetizers, soup and main course. She fills up on appetizers and soup. then tells the waiter to wrap the entre. When it shows at the table, she makes small talk and usually splits, saying "it was delightful, lets do it again real soon."

Now if you don't want to pay for dinner for some woman, great tell her before you go out. Good on you, better for me and others who WILL pay for dinner, cuts down on the competition.

Finally if you take out a woman buy her dinner and expect sex because of it. Your a maggot, dinner doesn't mean sex, it means dinner. Don't like it that way, don't ask her.

90% of the women on this site, don't use men for dinner or dollars. That's just a fact.

Evil has spoken!!

VVV Based on 25 or 30 women I've dated on here for the last 2 1/2 years. Under several names, when I previously was a member. Plus input from other men I know from here and there experiences.
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 40
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/6/2009 5:59:19 PM
Wow! Shocking and hilarious.

1. I am the complete opposite of a gold digger refusing all non-perishable gifts from men. The only thing that I will accept outside of marriage is a diamond engagement ring. Until then, "candy and flowers" like in Victorian times... DESPITE this, men constantly want to give me money and buy me things. And get offended when I refuse!

2. This rule does not apply to time spent together. If we are going to enjoy it together, an expensive restaurant, five-star hotel or something like that is fine. Because he is enjoying it as well and I can't take it home and look at it.

3. The same men who cry "equality" still want to take advantage of the benefits of being male- still believe in women taking the husband's name, still believe in women wearing heels and revealing clothes when men are fully covered, still believe in the woman doing certain domestic chores, etc. They only believe in equality when it benefits men.

4. Lastly, I prefer men who make more than I do because (as has been discussed in many threads) the average man cannot handle it when the girl is more educated or more highly paid than he is.

The truth hurts but that doesn't make it less true....
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 41
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/6/2009 7:08:44 PM
Post #67 "Wow Shocking and hilarious"

1. men/money thing... Are you bragging or complaining? If the men are offended, their morons.

2. expensive restaurant/5 star hotel That's OK as long as he picks it, if your picking it your using him. Holiday Inn could do very nicely, as could a lesser restaurant. But I'm not here to tell anyone how to spend their money.

3. equality...I don't cry it, but hear it alot. She can keep her own name, I could care less, I'm not here to brand someone. I do my own laundry, house cleaning, even in a relationship. As for the clothes, I like them, but if she was wearing a gunny sack and I liked her, that'd be OK. Most women wear those clothes ESPECIALLY when trolling for a guy.

4 Salary, that's bizarre, most of the guys I know could care less if she makes more. Or is better educated. I had friends he had a BS and was working for IBM as a mid level manager. She had a PHD and was a professor at Columbia. They didn't have problems with it. Finally I see it as a red flag when a woman wants to make sure I make more. If I can afford my lifestyle, pay my bills and put some in the bank or market and still have a life, what business is it of hers.

Truth doesn't hurt, lies to hide something do........
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 42
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/7/2009 7:12:02 AM
... no happiness in money.
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 43
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/10/2009 6:45:15 AM

A gal who wants a guy to ask her out on a date and pay for it... IS NOT A GOLD DIGGER. You're just a cheap **stard. The 'traditional' courting behavior has been around for a looong time and is not about to go away anytime soon.

Whatever happened to the double standards you keep on drolling out in the forums? Or only when they benefit the female variety?
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 44
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/10/2009 7:03:08 AM
I don't have a problem paying for things or buying women things, but only when I know that they don't expect me to do that. If ever I felt that they were taking advantage of me I would make it so that it would become excruciating for them to get any money out of me.

I have a friend that doesn't work, and sometimes I'll take her out and buy her dinner or what not. Lately I feel like she's milking it for all its worth, so I'll jerk her around and make her argue about it and try to justify it. The money aspect isn't the issue to me, its the principle of the matter. I'm sure rich men don't care about buying women cars and jewelry since they have cash to blow, but the fact remains that a man should never let a woman use him for money.
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 45
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/10/2009 7:08:49 AM
And since you can't buy love or happiness it's a waste no matter how much money you have. I don't buy women anything and I don't expect something back either. Sure, I can buy a coffee or maybe a light dinner sometime, but that's it. I don't come out as a "cow" in the first place who's ready to be used (milked). Women buy me meals, coffee or whatever and not once have I asked for it. I've been ready to pay for my own share every time, but if they insist - fine.
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 46
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/10/2009 9:51:26 AM

There are men gold diggers out there as well.

Indeed there are and I guarantee you that there are plenty of them. It has been a long double standard against women, as if we're the only one's that chase after wallets.

Give me a break.

I could be wrong but I can bet that there are just as many male gold diggers, than there are women.
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 47
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Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 12/18/2009 10:26:52 AM
Most women who prey upon men and who seek to manipulate them as success objects are not that clever. It has been mentioned that a gold digger is like a prostitute, only smarter. Their craftiness however, is based on their victim's ignorance, not on their own skills in the art of deception. I would rewrite the phrase to read, the gold digger is like a prostitute, only less principled. I can respect a prostitute, insofar as her business proposition is a mutually assured contractual agreement, entered into voluntarily and between two consenting adults. The gold digger makes no such claim or promise. If she were to be forthright regarding her intentions from the very beginning, it would be unnecessary and inaccurate to label her a “gold digger”.

Novice gold diggers usually drop hints along the way that allow for the light of truth to pierce their veil of pretext. One woman who initiated contact with me, attempted to discreetly mention in our first dialogue, her affinity for an “ambitious” man. An inadvertent disclosure of her dubious motives was strengthened, when she revealed a preoccupation with money matters in the same opening phone conversation. Red flags could now be easily spotted. I attempted to give her the benefit of the doubt but at no time did she give any indication that she would make any financial contributions to the relationship. She went so far as to offer up a primer of the financial stability differences between a "professional" man such as a doctor or lawyer and those of the entrepreneur, whose net worth is more often subject to the ebbs and flows of the economy. Later in the same conversation it became indisputably apparent that she lacked any hint of the same personal determination for materialistic success. Her present career choice confirmed that fact. Yet, she was insistent that her chosen man possess "success", the crucial attribute that made him an eligible suitor. She also failed to indicate in this or any future conversation, any personal or emotional contribution of value that she would bring to a mutually loving relationship, in order to help assure its stability, happiness and longevity.

After she told me of her date with a man who did not live up to her expectations because he did not provide her with her customary free dinner at the precise moment that she insisted on being fed, I attempted to ask this her a reasonable and pertinent question. "Please define your definition of ambition and success." That was all it took to get her hang up the phone and scurry away. Gold diggers and conspiracies cannot survive in the light of truth.
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 48
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 6/14/2017 5:00:04 PM
I know I have made a difference by exposing gold diggers and unpleasant types of women on this site...some might not like it, but the fact is I have got people thinking and waking up to double standards...when you go on a date with a woman it should be fun, interesting and maybe will lead to another date, but one thing you should not be doing, is opening your wallet wide and offering to pay for her , why you ask? because it's a mutual meet and neither should be paying, for the others company....Go dutch(pay half the bill)...that way you don't feel cheated and she don't feel respect, fairness and equality working hand in hand...if things are working out with the two of you, then yes by all means take it in turns to pay....Don't be a chump, be a champ...listen up!!! and read those words
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 49
Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 6/14/2017 5:12:30 PM
Gold digging on a free site
May as well mine for diamonds in the radish patch
Bet Dutch people use the expression
" go POF"
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 50
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Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk
Posted: 6/14/2017 6:24:43 PM
Go to Arkansas instead. You'll have better luck there.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Gold Diggers, or someone of that ilk