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Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 142
Is porn ruining real live sex?Page 10 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Also he has a masters degree I believe and was a TEACHER before getting into porn, I believe he's also a trained actor (he studied theatre in university I believe)

Lol. You've probably seen some of Jeremy's porn, the ones where he's actually in it- are you saying he should share the same stage with Olivier, Gielgud, Dustin Hoffman, or a Katherine Hepburn? Lol. Ya know, Kate Hepburn has more than enough joie de vivre and grit to take on a project like that. RJ seems to have found a milieu that taxes none of his acting, or any other, skills, save one. "Find a need and fill it", as one noted US entrepreneur says.

And that point about porn being designed for men? More than a few of the women posting here give it a gander, lol, and to make that argument is, imho, just as fallacious as any other belief or argument based on gender lines. Porn is a stimulus, by design, a base one, to be sure, but I think the industry targets money, not men (except, of course, to the extent that they are considered the more willing to invest in sex, lol). Lotsa ladies watch porn, and not solely in the company of a lover.

But kudos- you seem to be one of those rare geese who reads the whole thread before posting. Lol
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 149
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 2/8/2010 6:15:33 PM
Where do women get the idea that ALL porn actresses are attractive? Most aren't. Not by a long shot... Though they do tend not to be lard-asses. Maybe THAT is what a lot of women find unrealistic and objectionable?
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 153
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Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 2/11/2010 3:21:33 PM
Some other quotes I found interesting from "How Not To Make Love Like A Porn Star" by
Mary Elizabeth Williams.

Porno sex is about the angles and displaying the goods. Whether the actors who are putting in a hard day's work on the job are actually enjoying themselves doesn't matter. It's about performance, ...

But if we learn by example, does anybody really want an education from someone who has a fluffer?

Perhaps then he's like the gentleman I went home with once, who spent the entire time watching himself in the mirror. He did not have sex with me. He had sex on me.

Women have a long history of performing during sex -- but our unrealistic, rock-your-world expectations are just as likely to come from "The Notebook" as they are from "Interracial Cheerleader Orgy."

Last year when Babeland conducted a poll about sexual attitudes, one of the questions was, "The most inaccurate perception men have picked up from porn is ..." The top four responses from women were:

1.How women can have orgasm from just vaginal intercourse
2.The idea that women love semen in their faces
3.The notion that anal sex is sexy
4.That women prefer huge c0cks

So now that you know, you can take that pressure off us. Take it off yourselves. Because in spite of or because of the mythology of the ever-rarin'-to-go, hot-blooded man, the physical and emotional reality of male sexuality is far more complicated. A man has to hope his equipment is of pleasing dimensions, that it rises with his desire, that he doesn't finish too soon or go on too long.

You don't see a lot of laughing in porn, but some of the best sex in my life has been punctuated with fits of giggles. You don't see a whole lot of genuine female orgasm in porn either, and believe me, that's a pretty big part of what makes a memorable evening for a lady. Aping an adult star doesn't make a person a lover any more than playing Rock Band makes him a musician. Good sex makes room for honest passion and uninhibited enthusiasm, and doesn't feel like an audition for AVN rookie of the year. It's messy and silly and profound. And unscripted.

I remember a joke email that made the rounds years ago.

30 things Porno producers would would have us believe:
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a bj.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A bj will always get a woman out of a speeding fine.
10. All women are noisy fvcks.
11. People in the 70’s couldn’t fvck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those t1ts are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman’s butt.
14. Men always groan “OH YEAH!” when they cum.
15. If there are two of them they “high five” each other.(and the girl isn’t disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile. (And DVDA really makes them tickled pink)
17. Asian men don’t exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won’t bash seven shades of sh1t out of you if you shove your c0ck in his girlfriend’s mouth.
19. There’s a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by slapping on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients’ c0cks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she’ll only be momentarily pissed off before fvcking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches… or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man’s c0ck, it’s important for him to remind her to “suck it”.
26. Assh0les are always clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman’s butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man’s trousers and find a c0ck there.
29. Men don’t have to beg.
and finally…
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman’s head and the other proudly on his hip.

To me, it's always been important to differentiate between women and a woman.

Women like this or don't like that are generalities generated via experience, observation and my own values/beliefs. The latter is probably most important since that will allow me to discard information if it doens't fit my model. Sadly, it took me a long time to realize that.

If I am with a lover, all the generalities really are not important as what this particular woman likes. And while some of that can come from body language, the really intimate stuff you have to talk about, and no amout of sexual skill or technique will get your there, IMHO.

Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 154
view profile
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 2/23/2010 3:12:09 PM
Well one thing is for sure, porn definitely cuts down on STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 157
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 2/24/2010 1:32:44 PM
Watch the HBO show Family Business if you can find re-runs or the DVD's. There are COUNTLESS number of women each week trying to get in porn, or there are probably plenty of men trying out too...BUT most directors will tell you its HARD to find new male talent, because trying them out could end up costing you a day's worth of money for the whole cast and crew if the guy can't finish the scene or can't get it up (which happens a lot with new guys) and thats the reason you see the same guys over and over again, because the directors know the guy will get the job done.

HARD to find indeed.

Umm...I read a very long article in the LA Times (since most porn is shot here) about this issue. Most guys can't perform on demand or maintain that erection for hours. So the porn industry's solution is Viagra because the guys that they do end up using have to be able to keep it up for hours. They shoot the scene from different angles and have to re-set cameras and lighting, etc. I also learned about the role of the "fluffer" from this article which is an aspiring porn star whose job is to give the male a bj to get him hard.
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 164
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 2/26/2010 2:18:13 PM
At this point, porn is the closest thing I have to a sex life. lmao!
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 167
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 2/26/2010 6:43:31 PM
Personally, I don't think Porn has ruined real live sex any more than daytime soaps have ruined relationships or family life. Its not real, its Hollywood - get informed people!

Nothing wrong with porn if you have an open mind, are comfortable in your own skin and are confident with your sensuality (5 senses definition), and your sexuality.

Intimacy is all about enjoying each other, and keeping things exciting and interesting only strengthens a good relationship. Porn, toys, different positions, locations, sexy lingerie and anything else you can think of to inspire each other is wonderful and good. A relationship belongs to both people and each are equally responsible for tending to it the way one looks after a garden.
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 168
view profile
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 2/27/2010 6:46:19 AM
YEP!!! I think it is!!! It makes us all think this is how sex is supposed to be! And real sex is a lot more loving and sedate!

Those people are performers, performing acrobatic feats for the camera. It's entirely for visual effect, entirely lustful, with no love whatsoever underneath. It's created an entire society of "excitement junkies" who are always looking for the bigger, better high...and we wonder why we're so lonely! Lower the bar...

If anyone wants a RELATIONSHIP, gotta lay off the porn!
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 169
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 2/27/2010 6:55:03 AM

Personally, I don't think Porn has ruined real live sex any more than daytime soaps have ruined relationships or family life.

Right on!!! A three-pointer for the Haywire chick! Lol There's a semi-humorous list of things in the current issue of Glamour that guys should never do, and one is flash a temper and punch a wall, cuz women watch Lifetime programs, and they all know what's coming next. Lol

. . . some quite bizarre/impossible/alarmingly unhygenic act . . .

But, but, that's a classic definition of fvcking, as I know it.
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 170
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 2/27/2010 1:33:06 PM
Thanks Whytwater - Wow! 3 points for a shot outside the key

I think too many people try to find any reason to blame for their phobias or lack of knowledge or understanding about their or their partners sexuality. I laugh when I talk to women my age who still believe the lies parents have told their daughters such as "good girls don't touch themselves", "if you enjoy sex your partnter/husband will think you are trash", and many other silly things parents tell their children to avoid telling them the truth, if in fact they had any real knowledge. I respond with 2 questions: What is un-natural about enjoying intimacy? How is a man supposed to know exactly what turns his parnter on or what she really likes, if she has no idea herself? I then talk to them about being an informed about their sexuality. If porn and silly stories parents have told them were their only form of education on the subject, then they are ignorant on the subject. If as parents these people repeat those same untruthful stories to their children, and allow bad porn to be the childs only other source of education, then they just keep another generation ignorant, and are cheating them from experiencing the wonderfulness of intimacy with someone they love. I blame each child who grow up knowing that their parents told them untruths about Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and the birds and the bees. People, wake up! What is un-natural about enjoying intimacy?

Eyeofthecamera - I have to disagree with your comment "Anything that takes the sensual out of sexuality is bad." Sensuality and sexuality are 2 totally different things and many people think these terms are interchangeable when they are not. Sensuality is all about your 5 senses which has nothing to do with sex, while sexuality is about sex, and one is part or needed to complete the other.

Some people believe that if they are having sex with someone, that automatically means they are in a relationship, when this is not always true, because of a little thing called "a little black book with phone numbers of a sure thing". I believe because talking about intimacy is taboo for so many people, or so uncomfortable people get into relationships that are unfullfilling and wind up being hurt or hurting others. People put more energy and time into buying a car, then they do when choosing a parnter to share their life with.
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 171
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 2/28/2010 1:35:16 AM
You need not have that hangup anymore. Recently, on (well over 95% of my posts there are in the Politics Forum)(or was it CollarMe (which I am no longer a member of)), there was an informal poll of the women as to their penis size preferences. Like most things, the responses would form a Bell curve if plotted. Between 5 and 6 inches was the average preferred length, and the average circumference was around 5 inches.

In other words, most women preferred average-sized lollipops. Bloody convenient that most men are average, eh? This Evolution stuff is really cool.

PSst! I have heard that porn hookers are actually PAID to say things like "OMG!!!" and "Slam me, big boy!" and "I'm really hungry for something from Green Burrito!" Just a friendly smack with a clue-by-four.
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 174
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 3/3/2010 10:36:11 PM
you mean you cant jam the clutch pop the gear and push the NOS while ignoring the manifold ? sumnabiatch, next you are going to tell me that all those hours in the Microsoft flight simulator wont help me get my pilots license......

I am disappointed that Porn DVDs dont have directors cuts, behind the scenes and casting calls ;)
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