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 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 59
Is porn ruining real live sex?Page 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
The only real issue I see is with communication. If you can communicate properly with a sex partner, then you can ask directly what your partner wants. Making assumptions that your partner will like what your past partner(s) have enjoyed can be just as problematic as turning to Professor Porn, but talking with your partner about their actual needs and desires clears up this problem.

In short: Making assumptions that your partner's body works in any particular way without talking to them about it is problematic. It has little to do with porn per se.
 roseyn
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 60
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:21:28 PM
when men turn to porn for moves, yes.

half the women aren't really enjoying it. it sucks when a man watches porn, and tries to do what he sees thinking its all good when porn is 99% acting.
 Mrpbody44
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 64
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:53:30 PM
Porn is art why would art ruin sex. Does a great Renoir painting ruin sex?
Does Barry White ruin sex? He is just too sexy I just can't compete with him so I don't even try.
 Mrpbody44
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 65
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:58:22 PM
And the orgasms are FAKE

Not true. All my money shots were the real deal.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 69
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 4:05:08 AM
Porn destroyed my only real relationship. My ex left me, saying he wanted to see other girls. He did see many other girls for a $1.99 and $2.99 a minute on his cam porn sites. This was costing him $75 to $90. dollars a week.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 72
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:47:26 AM

Problem is re-training the men and their expectations...and retrainng yourself as a woman to not feel bad if you don't look and react like porn stars do.


You raise some valid points about the fantasy aspects of porn, but the gist of this post seems more like a form of denial, imho, with a touch of arrogance that either sex has the authority to "train" the other. I trained my dog, sorta, to do some things. It stops there.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 73
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:37:26 AM

Porn destroyed my only real relationship. My ex left me, saying he wanted to see other girls. He did see many other girls for a $1.99 and $2.99 a minute on his cam porn sites. This was costing him $75 to $90. dollars a week.


Honestly, I don't think that's the fault of porn (and I'll agree with a previous poster that camming is not the same as porn)--I think that should be blamed on addiction and the inability of your ex to deal with his addiction properly. Most people who watch porn (which is probably most people) don't have problems doing so in a healthy manner, any more than most people who drink alcohol become alcoholics.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 76
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:16:29 PM

I think what has ruined sex more than anything is Catholics.


Well, they DO shame ya for it, and there's a catholic church within walking distance of just about every place, but they offer that confessional fix, which is a stroke of genius in my book. How could anybody not get addicted to that?!!!
Nahhhh, the Baptists, specially the Southern kind, that scare me. One lil peek, and you are gonna burn, baby!!
 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 78
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:57:13 PM
So if porn is not really sex, and the women on this site don't want you messaging them for sex, can you message them for porn instead?
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 79
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:54:09 PM
Ruining? Mmm...maybe, maybe not.

Trivializing? Idolitizing? Making a deity of lust? Ignoring love? And all in the name of cash? Yes.
 spunkybum52
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 80
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:39:08 PM
Porn might have its place, but certainly not to teach men how to make love.... have sex maybe.... wham bam thankyou maam...... some porn is just plain boring. I have heard many men tell me how boring it is (and I have seen some myself).... just the same thing over & over.....lets get with it guys. If you are going to do something, dont do the same thing for 20 minutes over & over.....its just boring. Too much emphasis on it, however men will still love to see it.... and probably women too. I think too much is based on the "fantasy" of how they have sex in their minds, and maybe the reality doesnt come out as good.... hmmmm....work on it guys!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 82
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/9/2009 9:43:05 AM
The history of porn goes back to the beginning of the ability to create it. If it was capable of ruining real sex, mankind would have died out long ago.
A lot of the people, perhaps including your author, who have such a negative opinion of porn, are ignorant of how much historic porn has been censored/kept away from us. History is still taught in a very conservative manner. If you read a lot of history (I do, I'm an Historian), you could easily come to believe that no one in the past even LIKED sex, and only had intercourse to make male heirs.
The same thing can happen if you grow up watching old movies, as I did. The movies I grew up on (Doris Day/Rock Hudson) were so strangled, it never even occurred to me to notice that my sisters dolls had no genitalia.

Go do some wider research, as your author SHOULD have done. Look into the extensive porn painted on the walls of Roman houses. Look into the large number of studies of the (usually negative) result of censorship on human development. Study other cultures whose views on porn are not as pinched as your authors are.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 83
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/9/2009 11:57:42 AM
After reading most of the posts there is a lot of negativity with this subject. I look at porn when I'm single (which I currently am). But when I'm in a relationship I don't esp if my s/o doesn't like it. Living in a "Bible Belt" I've got a 80% that she won't like porn.

I agree that a lot of the movies are boring. Very boring, but when your doing the deed you could care less about plot.

If someone is addicted to porn then it is a whole another animal. Kind of like a alcoholic that won't stop drinking. It can be a problem. But like alcohol it is fine in moderation.

Any person can get addicted to anything. We as humans can get addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol, caffeine, coffee, cigarettes, sleep, etc. We are a addicted bunch of people. Its human nature. But like I said in moderation there is nothing wrong with porn.

Sex is more and more on TV, songs, the net, etc . Its everywhere, but "sex sells" look at some of the ads out there that have nothing to do with sex but it has it in the advertisement. I saw this commercial that had a man and woman making love and they stop in the middle and the man says "we've really got to change our ceiling fan" and it shows some major brand of ceiling fan makers.

Sin City (Vegas) is based on sex. The entire city has sexy women and men parading themselves in little to no clothing to advertise something (sometimes prostitution). Its every where. In our lives and here to stay wither we like it or not.

Sorry for the rant best of luck to everyone
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 84
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/9/2009 1:52:58 PM
I don't know, it's not ruining sex for me. I'm not even kinky but I'm good at what I do because I love it. You could make the reverse argument and say it's helping people to learn about different possibilities. Stuff that used to be taboo is acceptable. I remember when oral sex was really out there and women mostly laid there, got f*cked, and no one thought much about their pleasure.

I think a lot of women are real uncomfortable with men's interest in porn and I think they need to get over that men like seeing naked women and like sexual images. And so do some women. It doesn't mean we need to have our faces rubbed in it. But you know, women just have to accept that men are very sexual creatures and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

What about romance novels? Do they give women unrealistic ideas about romance and sex? Aren't romance novels, in a sense, pornography for women?


<div class='quote'>Or, all in the name of not chafing my face. It never ceases to amaze me how one dimensional your mind is. Instead of being curious, and learning about your world, or being open to the possibility there's another answer – you're the first to jump to some stupid irrational conclusion.

Forgive me, if I misunderstand, but are you saying that going down on a woman causes you to have your face get irritated? Because I was in a lesbian relationship for 6 years and I can tell you that pubic hair does not irritate your skin, and I have delicate skin. And if I misunderstood, never mind.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 86
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/9/2009 4:17:07 PM
Well, when I say it hasn't ruined sex for me, it's not because I'm watching it because I don't have an interest. However, I do not encounter men who have unrealistic expectations so that's what I mean when I say it isn't ruining sex for me. I think that, like TV, alcohol, drugs, eating, and a lot of other things, one can do it in a way that can interfere with normal life or not. Sex is more fun than it needs to be merely for procreation. I think there's nothing wrong with human beings enjoying their sexuality as long as they are not hurting themselves or others.

What I *am* concerned about is that there are some women in the porn industry who are there under less than completely consensual conditions. What percentage, I don't know but that concerns me more than anything.
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 89
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:40:21 PM
No, because real live sex is better than porn. You can't feel another person you can only imagine, it's not the real thing. Would you really rather watch a video of someone having sex or be there? Only if I can't be there.
I have known some women who liked porn and they were the best lovers, they had no inhibitions and loved sex.
 goodix_lady
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 90
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/9/2009 8:04:44 PM

“Is porn ruining our vision?”


I wondered why most men over 50 wear glasses
 Mrpbody44
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 91
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/10/2009 6:38:10 AM
I find porn a turn off becuase pounding a woman with a 10 inch****is painful and I can see it on their faces - huge turnoff that they are being battered and that turns some men on


Not really as most women can take 10 inches with out pain. Unless he is hitting their cervix there should be no problem. Most women have stronger orgasms with a big****and that is what you are seeing as well. They are also actors and actresses so there is some showmanship. If some one is uncomfortable during a shoot the scene is stopped. No one is being battered just having a good time.

I know as I have been in a couple of films a few years ago.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 92
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:01:14 AM
I've watched some porn, but it has very limited appeal. It certainly hasn't ruined "real live sex" for me or my partners in any way. At best, it can set the mood by causing some arousal, but by itself it isn't that satisfying - IMO - unless you have someone real to share with too.

I recently met a web-cam porn starlet, and yeah, she can handle the monster coc ks and toys and likes it - and she also likes average size guys. It was interesting to learn that most of her clients are military in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as shut-ins and disabled guys - she looks at it as helping people be happy. Kind of makes sense to me.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 93
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:43:23 AM

“Is porn ruining our vision?”




I wondered why most men over 50 wear glasses


I thought it was masturbation that would make us go blind.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 94
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:52:43 AM
I wondered why most men over 50 wear glasses



Hell. I've been wearing mine since age 12.




Damned Sears catalogs!

 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 95
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 1/25/2010 4:54:48 PM
I believe that it has. Watching doing and all in between sex has it's place. Talking to the person and finding out what he or she enjoys is much better. Than watching two people YOU DONT know doing it.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 96
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 1/25/2010 4:59:02 PM
Sex with either Oprah, OR Martha Stweart isn't particularily appealing to me. It's not my fault if she's a cold fish, no need to spread her hate and bitterness throughout the land.


Thankfully, I've never heard of her before, and won't again, after clicking "post" I'm sure there's some old "lights off, under the blankets, shhhhhhhhhhhhh sex is dirty, missionairy only please" kinda guy for her.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 97
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 1/25/2010 6:39:59 PM
Speaking as the Historian here... As porn has been around as long as there has been means to create it (yes, there ARE porn cave paintings), I think any notion that real sex is on the decline because of it are pap.
Now as to a SPECIFIC INDIVIDUAL, anyone can get out of balance in any part of their life, and suffer because of it. Moaning about a generality like this wont help the individual however.
Although I have not had all that much luck in the relationship department (hence my membership), I do know that at NO time has porn somehow caused me, or anyone I've known to have the problems described in such articles. Rather, the writers of such crud have caused trouble for others, by calling for women to RESENT being thought of sexually by their mate, and for men to put an end to playfulness with their women. Those writers are poop heads, in my very annoyed opinion.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 101
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 1/26/2010 6:27:46 AM
Young women are watching porn, too.

The younger women I have dated recently seem to be way more open sexually, than women my own age are (or were when I was in my 20's). So, while young men may expect more from women today (sexually... because of porn), they also seem to be getting more.
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