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 beatriceismydog
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 458
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?Page 15 of 26    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Rock:

Your gender is shallow get over it. Tittie bars, Hooters and porno mags wouldn't exist if men liked a female's intellect alone. Everything is about looks. You look to spread the seed and breed and you want a young hot female to do it with. However, if you don't have the money of the middle aged guys in business and Hollywood, dream on boy.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 459
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/24/2010 5:47:32 PM
If a woman wants to buy a new car.... how does she do it ?
Does she sit at home and wait for the car dealers to call her ?
This strategy certainly isn't going to get her a very good car or a good deal on that car.

But, if a woman wants a husband..... what does she do ?
The acceptable technique is for her is to sit at home and wait for all the eligible men to call her.
This is supposed to get her a good husband ?

Fortunately, unlike a husband, a car isn't capable of going out and pursuing other buyers when it's tired of it's current owner.
 assortedmice
Joined: 1/11/2010
Msg: 460
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/24/2010 5:54:01 PM
Not true. Different guys react differently than others. A shy guy (confident or not) will love the attention he is getting from the woman pursuing him. I've personally had some of the greatest relationships with women who had pursued me. Overly confident, manly men, may be put off by a woman taking charge. Some guys don't like being the "lesser" of the two in a relationship, whether it's that way or not.

Either way, if a girl wants a guy and hasn't been able to get his attention, much like men, it doesn't hurt to try.
 curiousaboutu77
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 461
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/25/2010 4:04:42 AM
It isn't demeaning to a man to say that sometimes the penis of a man has a mind of its own because it does sometimes. Sometimes i can get an erection for no reason that i can think quite regularly for a period of time on and off then it can quieten down for a while too. I think there maybe other reasons why a penis can be erect more often then just seeing an attractive lady. The operation of a penis is more complex then that and other factors come into it so certainly no insult to me for any woman to say that it has a mind of its own but i maybe offended if a woman suggests that it only happens because i have sex on my mind rather then enjoy there company or whatever.
 Joel246
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 463
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/25/2010 10:30:08 AM
I like women who will take the initiative. I get the impression a lot of the time that women expect to be able to sit there and pick and choose suitors passively. Maybe with the numbers on here they can, but I think sometimes women are underdeveloped as initiators because men are expected to do all that. And that kind of immaturity or sense of entitlement can be a turn off.
 beatriceismydog
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 465
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/25/2010 10:52:57 AM
Yes immaturity because women will not cater to you. Look up definitions of words first.
 Joel246
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 466
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/25/2010 11:29:49 AM
hahaha, vicious. I'm just saying, men in general are expected to take the initiative in a relationship in most circumstances. It's refreshing to see that in women in a lot of cases.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 467
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/25/2010 7:42:06 PM
@Cindy....excellent post, I couldnt agree more with your comments on substance over style. For a minute there I thought I had time traveled back to 1952 and had to turn in my briefcase for emu slippers. Thanks for bringing us back to the 21st century where evolved, successful women can be interesting to men for the long turn, not just for a romp around the country club on 'ladies day".
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 468
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/25/2010 7:47:40 PM

I will try to initiate again and let you know how many guys don't consider it invitation to quick and easy sex. I would feel so lucky if I find even one. But we will see. :)

I have to say I've never experienced a lot of this - at least not in response to me making conversation. For the couple that have, they've learned quick that quick sex isn't on the menu - so experience pretty much shuts them up about it. No matter what they think is going on, when it doesn't pan out they just end up having to adjust their thinking.

There are some men who think every thing is an invitation to quick sex, including a warm breeze. That's not related to who initiates what.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 470
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/26/2010 10:47:12 AM

but as long as it remains ladylike and doesn't become agressive or sexual in nature, that it can be a positive thing for the woman to persue. as long as it remains subtle and gentle with no sexual undertones, i believe it's a good thing....

Absolutely...and the key words are 'ladylike', 'subtle' and 'gentle' . It's my thinking, that getting any bolder than that, will offend more old-fashioned men, and have the men who "think a warm breeze is a sexual invitation" thinking they are gonna get lucky in the VERY near future.
Rule book? Which edition? 1950s? The pre-HIV/AIDS book? Generation X?
My rule book only says "carry out your own dead."
Cindy O
 Blessedcutie
Joined: 1/8/2010
Msg: 471
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/26/2010 12:57:19 PM
I personally don't believe that women should pursue a man. Pursuing is a man's job. There's nothing wrong with a woman smiling or providing some kind of indicator that she's interested but if a man isn't brave or confident enough to approach her, he's still a boy in my book. "Men hunt, women choose".
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 472
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/26/2010 1:18:56 PM
Blessedcutie...I sort of agree with you, in that I don't care to be aggressive/blatant about initiating a potential romantic situation.
BUT-where you are gonna get disagreement is the "man's job" part. It's 2010, other than some physiology-dependent functions, the lines dividing "man's job"from "woman's job" have gotten pretty scuffed up and hard to discern,anymore. I've always held that the equal rights amendment was NOT meant to be about torpedoing social and cultural customs and constructs.And I still basically believe that, but OTOH, I can understand where men could be a bit dubious/wary about approaching/pursuing women, not knowing if he was letting himself in for a screamfest from a "feminazi", or having a woman over-react negatively and make him out to be a harrasser/stalker/jerk.
With the social changes and the blurring of the lines about gender roles, I think we probably are all more or less flying blind,and all anyone can do is behave according to their own best judgement and what feels right in any given situation.
Cindy O
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 473
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/26/2010 1:24:55 PM
SOMEONE FORGOT TO SEND ME THE RULE BOOK

Well, there's the thing - there is no rule book, no one size fits all. Some women will bat their eyelashes and do that coy smiling thingy and some men will find that attractive because it makes them feel all manly-man-like because she looks like some fragile critter or whatever it is he figures when she does that (beats me - personally when I see it I think of gagging maggots). It may work in the "pursuing" stages, only for the guy to find out later that the coy act was just that - an act. Underneath it all and when he gets to know her, it's no longer about the batting of the eyelashes but more like she's like a bat from hell.

Then you may have a guy who will only be interested if a woman pursues him in an adult manner. You know, like going up to him and actually having a conversation that's intelligent. Which really isn't pursuing as such - it's just being an adult and sure of yourself as a person (woman or not) and that you likely have something more to go on than just looks and eyelashes, or on top of your looks and lashes. Face it, although men surely appreciate looks and lashes, it has to become pretty stale over time to be faced with simpering stupidity on a daily basis.

It can go from one end of the spectrum to the other and any degree in between, depending on what people have found worked for them in the past and/or their level of intelligence (or even lack thereof). Then again, there are those who are doomed to repeating the same process and figurig that if they have had many encounters because if it, that whatever they've been doing must work, and never wondering why they keep having to repeat it...the hint should be that they aren't able to sustain anything after the initial pursuit - no matter which gender is the initiator.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 474
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 1/26/2010 1:27:58 PM
Men hunt and women choose????......... .....Please!!!

We all left the cave long long ago, and those tendencies and so called rules were abandoned when we left.

It is now equality of the sexes, and that goes for pursuing as well as being pursued, along with financial security, job status, owning of homes and property, on and on. I look for equality, and if that equality somehow MUST include me doing most if not all the work of pursuing, then I will just move on to the next person that truly is my equal.

I look at it much differently and believe that true confidence, and a positive attitude will mean that I should be approached as much as I approach others, and the so called "hunt" will be on an equal playing field, or the "game" is off.

I admire and want a woman that is as assertive and aggressive as I am, and knows how to use those skills as much as I do..........

cd........
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 478
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 2/20/2010 1:28:58 PM
For me, nothing beats both parties acting with an expressed and congruent purpose to an expressed and congruent goal. Everything else to me, ...is just a child's game.
 arcticdude
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 480
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 2/20/2010 2:51:29 PM
In response to the original post:

No, that's false.
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 484
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 2/23/2010 6:36:15 AM
Yeah don't chase that man!

When your 65 and your alone with your 25 cats, you'll look back and think "god, im so glad I didn't chase after guys when I was younger"
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 485
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 2/24/2010 5:47:58 PM
When your 65 and your alone with your 25 cats, you'll look back and think "god, im so glad I didn't chase after guys when I was younger"


There are no guarantees - women are dumped by men they have pursued all the time.
I'd rather be alone with my cats than cater to a lazy, ambivalent man for the rest of my life. A woman that never settles down, marries, and has children isn't necessarily without any exciting and wild memories to think back on or living a solitary life.
 Mr1700
Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 487
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 3/15/2010 10:46:55 PM
Its okay for a woman to pursue a man but she shouldn't be too aggressive. she should show she's interested and if he is interested he will show signs.
 OLIZAY
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 488
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 3/16/2010 11:03:04 AM
This is the wrong forum for women to have this attitude in, a dating website should require both to show the same amount of interest and effort. If women want men to persue them then meet men offline, no man with sense is gonna waste time chasing some woman who feels she should be pursued over the internet.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 489
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 3/16/2010 11:34:19 AM
a lot of emotionally healthy people would not find it enticing to be with anyone who was overly clingy/needy, of either gender... however, having someone show you that they find you desirable can be an attractive thing in itself (...especially if you find the other person attractive too, which can be the clincher...)
 calibersmom
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 490
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 3/16/2010 12:41:12 PM
Good book to read... "Why men love ****es". Excellent advice
 sunflower208
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 495
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 3/19/2010 11:36:48 AM
"PURSUE" MEANS TO ME IS "TAKE ACTION",LIKE PLAY CHASE GAME, TAKE THE FIRST MOVE,AFTER THAT IS CHLLENGE FOR BOTH PARTIES.I AM FROM THE MOST OLDEST COUNTRY AND...DOESN'T MEAN WE KNOW THE BEST.
LIFE'S ALONG IS A GROWING PROJECT,IT'LL NEVER STOP.
IN OUR WORLD THERE IS A LOT OF MISLEADING ABOUT HUMAN BEHAVIERS,AND YET MOST OF US DON'T REALY KNOW HOW AND WHY WE ACT THE WE ACT.GO FIGURE?WE ARE JUST WHOLE BUNCH LOST INDEVEDULES ARE BUNCING AROUND AND AROUND IN THIS WONDERFUL WORLD.DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY!
"PURSUE" OR "PURSUE NOT" ISN'T A BIG DEAL.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 496
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 3/19/2010 11:42:10 AM
I chase until they catch me.......and they chase until I catch them........now that is equality and the way it should be........

If you expect me to take the lead and do most if not all the work, you might as well move on, because that is just not going to happen. You want me, come and get me, and show me that you are willing to do half the work for half the potential relationship.

cd...........
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 497
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 3/19/2010 12:05:05 PM
No, that’s not true. In our modern society that is what’s expected of a woman, and she should do it if it matches her personality.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work for me. If I had to be the one to initiate and pursue, it wouldn’t make me feel “warm and cozy” inside. I would keep having the feeling that I was not with a “real” man, but with some kind of a unisex person.
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