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 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 81
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?Page 3 of 26    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
What I dont like is an overly aggressive women. I see nothing wrong with a women asking you to call her and giving you her phone number. I also see it a positive thing to give her your phone number, many women dont like giving out thier number but prefer to contact you. Therefore I see nothing wrong with her calling(after all you gave her your number) and inviting you for a coffee or some other light activity. I find it a compliment when women show such intrest, after all I did agree to give her my number
 Cicciolina
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 82
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:07:20 PM
In my 20's- I believed that men like to chase women and asking them out did eliminate the chase. The 30's me thinks who cares....
I am getting to old to play games with men. If, I want to go out with one..I ask him out.
I think an aggressive women turn on men too. A woman that knows what she wants and how to get it.

 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 83
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:27:05 PM
If deception and not being forthright works for you until SURPRISE she mysteriously finds herself in bed with you, chances are that's how the rest of any relationship with that person willl go. That's game playing and lord knows there are any number of people who love playing games, so if it works for the two of you...it works for the two of YOU...just not everyone else. That's the whole issue here though...it's what works for the individuals. It winds up usually, in the end, the whole water seaking its own level sorta thingy. Forthright attracts forthright and game players attracting game players. It's when people aren't perceptive enough to know the difference betwen the two that problems arise.
 Call Me Sugar
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 85
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:54:09 PM
I was brought up not to initiate, so i never did...
but now at this age, im divorced and have grown kids...
i joined POF and i initiated... and im glad i did....
its been the best year of my life...
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 89
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:06:52 PM
I think a woman should peruse through a mans underwear while he's wearing them..........oh wait what was the topic?
 curiousaboutu77
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 91
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:29:04 AM
I suppose since relationships are about, amongst many things, about team work and compromise, then shouldn't both the man and the woman both be pursuing to start the relationship on the right foot. Otherwise, you will start the relationship with one person doing all the work and the other nothing. Does this then not entitle the pursuer the right to a break where they do nothing to even things up. Seems like a suspicious way to start a relationship when you think about it.
 ----------girl next door-
Joined: 7/20/2009
Msg: 95
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:01:29 AM
I feel, if there is strong chemistry after you meet, it doesn't matter who pursues who. Eventually the two people will be together if they are meant to be together.
 Robininc
Joined: 10/10/2009
Msg: 98
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:19:36 AM
I like the butterfly feeling when the phone rings and it is someone that I have an attraction for, if I do the calling and chasing, where is my butterfly feeling?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 99
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:36:41 AM

...]if I do the calling and chasing, where is my butterfly feeling

It should be there when he answers the phone when you call and doesn't run when you chase??
 Lady West
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 100
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:21:30 PM
I think a woman should go for what she want but not to the point that he has to place a restraining order on her. I pursue a man...only if I feel there is a chemistry. I think asking the man if he would like to meet again is important but, that comes with being honest with the answer. I think there is a limit on pursuing which is ..if you call once and leave a message to return your call and he never does; that's a good indication you're not the one, stop the energy and move on.

Lady West's Imput
 *pisceseyes
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 101
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:09:07 PM
lol I agree Landra..I chase ALOT of things but NOT men..Im great @ reciprocating though
 *pisceseyes
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 104
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:38:50 PM
#3 scenario- good looking woman goes over to where good looking man is @ maybe the bar? and reaches over for a bevnap and smiles
ive made MY move..now its the man's turn


im just saying I dont think women should be sooo agressive in their approach..IMO
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 106
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:20:03 PM

I do know a lot of men who will say that they have no problem with this...but when it actually happens they don't like it. I am basing this on men I personally know,even though I am not dating them.


That is very true, I have some male friends,who even owe me some favors, if I invited them for DATE ,not really a date I need some one to drive me (my car) and escort me to a party, I cajoled them that the party we are going ,there lots of goodlooking single women,goodfood and drinks, if they don't want to go, you can not force them.

And in the good ol days, girls night out is unheard of,so we girls invited our male friends to some disco club( with ago go bikini dancers )so they will come with us and their beers is on us.. and so we can met other guys, yeah they will come for a FREE beers and try to score with agogo dancers ,,,, but we girls are always shipped in an early hour ('let's go home NOW ! or we'll leave you girls!!! ) And afterwards they'll have a good time with their scores...lol

A woman would pursue a man for date/lover ? A man doesn't want a woman putting ideas to his head, if you are not his type he is not going to pursue you. but if a woman is deperate to do the moves,she becomes an easy target for a man to take advantage of her.. As I wrote in my previous thread ~ You can lead a horse to a water trough ,but you can not make it drink,if the horse doesn't want to drink....
 DR_RUTHLESS
Joined: 11/2/2009
Msg: 108
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 9:45:54 PM
if they don't some people incessantly, they would be reluctant to meet

Perhaps they tend to be the strongest and most grounded to control their environments.

some guys need to be coaxed, a lot.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 109
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 10:16:34 PM

And.... what do you call a woman who needs to be coaxed alot????
Apparently, there are some terrible names out there for us ladies who NEED to be coaxed alot.
Let me see......what can we call a guy who is that way. Lables anyone ?

Belle Lass what reward will I get if I guess the right one ??? Adumbazz ?



 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 110
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:39:17 PM
That is what my dad taught me, cause he said women are perceived then as aggressive, and men don't like aggressive women.

I don't see that in my experience. I know men who are p-whipped and hen pecked by women in their lives. They whine about it then crawl back to her with his tail between his legs.

I am more comfortable not to pursue men.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 113
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:15:43 AM

I knew that there were men who sat back and waited for the women to approach. It's a control issue for them more than anything.

I thought it was a "control issue" for men who had to be the ones who did the approaching, asking, and pursuing.

So, is there any way for guys to not be on the hook, to not be subject to the "control issue" charge?

I should also note that your making the above quoted claim will just strengthen the idea in many men that women who absolutely require a man to do the pursuing do so because of "control issues".

Or are you going to try and go into double-talk mode and claim that's not the case?
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 114
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:56:33 AM
It must be age/generation issue then. All the women on this page are alone over 40. And I am dealing with women in their 20s. So I guess times have changed...
This is what the "generation gap", I believe.


When it comes to boys and girls there is not much different of my generation in my hottie days.. In my days we entice a man with our smile,food ,good attitude ,we don't pursue, we are not sl*tty but naughty, and we are very subtle, for the fear of being branded as wh*re and no body will marry us....

My observation to this generation , a woman pursue a man with her sex/ if she is old with her money. I have seen it with my own eyes . So I know what I am talking about. Still using the old method enticing and luring.....
 DR_RUTHLESS
Joined: 11/2/2009
Msg: 116
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:29:29 AM
It is refreshing to see how some brighter ones here realize that with inaction something terrible happens, nothing.
 ForumSleuth
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 118
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:35:18 AM
How many women here in search of a LTR are STILL looking and STILL waiting for a "keeper" to contact THEM?

Not hard to surmise that most SANE ["keeper"] men are going to STOP sending emails not long after they get here based on the results of their efforts.

A woman need not be a Rocket Scientist to do the math here. Any woman who can balance a checkbook SHOULD be able to figure it out.
 bloomis57
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 119
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:42:54 AM
Hi! This is my very first attempt in any of the forums...pardon my ignorance!
To the subject matter...met a wonderful man and on our initial meeting (after phone calls on a nightly basis) hit it off right away and spent most of the day together.
Then NOTHING!!! Let two phone messages as he had had the flu. One week later it's "We are friends...I live in a used mobile home...I can take care of myself". Where did I go wrong? This last call was this past Tuesday. Pleas advise me!!!
 cdbergerac
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 121
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 10:06:04 AM
There are three kinds of females

Girls- chase boys and push them in the sandbox hoping he will come back and pull her pigtails. More often he just runs away.

Women- refuse to chase men 'cause the sandbox plan didn't work so well. They get weak in the knees when a guy takes charge and wonder years later why he seems to think he is the boss or wont listen to her opinions.... or why now that he has her he seems to be spending so much time with his secretary.

Ladies- having reconciled the girl and the woman in themselves take plays from both strategy books. She looks for the guy that has the valuable attributes she desires and picks him out of the crowd. Then she reals him in while making him believe he actually had a choice in the matter.

*heh* The trick for a fellow is to know which one you are dealing with. If the female you are interested in is a girl, jump up from the sandbox and instead of running away play tag. If she is a woman then chase her and make her feel special, and eventually make her realize that she got you by simple luck. If she is a lady then you better just be yourself because that is who she picked and you were never really happy playing the game with the girls or women anyway.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 122
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 12:22:41 PM

Ladies- having reconciled the girl and the woman in themselves take plays from both strategy books. She looks for the guy that has the valuable attributes she desires and picks him out of the crowd. Then she reals him in while making him believe he actually had a choice on the matter.


That's correct..If woman got a man's attention and that is the time for her to make a *kill*.
 Fusion_83
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 123
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/8/2009 3:26:09 PM

YES WOMEN SHOULDN'T PURSUE MEN PERIOD



Women, don't ever try to go against the nature period


Wanderingsoul, how do you come up with the conclusion that if a woman pursues a man she is going against nature? Why shouldn't a woman be able to express her interest in a man without upsetting the natural order? If a woman is attracted to a man and wants to get to know him, why should she sit back and play the waiting game, like a southern belle waiting for her gentleman callers or beaus to come to the door and woo her? Aren't we past that stereotype where the man has to be the one to take the initiative while the woman waits and hopes for him to make the first move? I would certainly hope so.

I know enough about men to realize they enjoy and respond to being approached and I have enough confidence and self-esteem that a "No, thank you" isn't going to crush me or bring me to tears. If we want to be treated as equals then it's time we start acting as equals. Why should men run all the risk of being rejected and always have to take the initiative? I pursued my late husband and it was the best relationship of my life until now. How sad to think we may have missed being together because I was afraid of being rejected or that it may 'go against nature'. That is absurd!


I hoped that most women would be past that stereotype of initiative. I completely agree about if women want to be treated as equals, then similarly they should act like equals. I always hope and strive for equal amounts of integrity in a relationship.
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