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 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 167
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?Page 5 of 26    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
If she lives under the Taliban, and wishes to avoid being stoned to death,yes...
she should not persue a man. Some boys need the challenge of the chase,and the feeling of being in control ,to remain interested.Men don't worry about such things...
[/quote/

I may live under the Taliban, wearing burga, but I will remove the cover of my face so he can see the real me ,my eyes speaking to him that I am enterested and available to him . If he still can't read me ,I will do the act on that msg: 194. that is intended for people who appreciate a good laugh, for the clue is a tons of emeticon.. splendere insulted me on that msg194. and I felt pity for her.

Ps. I believe your point, because men comes in different mentality, if I found a man like you who is enterested to me and won't anything I will chase you and collared you and pulled you on **your littleTail** to drag you home.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 168
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/11/2009 6:36:56 AM
It smacks of a control freak.


Correct !!!! But that works when it is acted on a job like a show director,supervisor, manager etc... The subordinate got paid to do their biddings.

But when it comes to LOVE & ROMANCE it has to be consentual... This is my belief and I don't impose to others..

This is me.. I felt like a rose flower that group of bees are buzzing on me, that is the reason I don't feel desperate to chase /pursue a man.

PS met a guy here he emails me, and I show my interest to him, ( I show my interest to any person who"s interested in me) I told Him , upfront I'll whip up for us something to eat it is not that "I'm not trying to hook you," the reason is I don't want you wasting your money on expensive restaurant and the meals is not the best...* I know that you pay bills like me*. I treat men like I wanted to treated, with respect and dignity if it did not work out for us ,no harm done......
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 169
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/11/2009 7:13:13 AM
cdbergerac:^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It is really has nothing to do with the food, whether it taste like shyte or taste like nectar...... It has something to do with action and interaction with each other for good result..


The game here is stimulating a good rapport that will lead into bonding... Vannili
 nebula22
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 170
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:00:06 PM
I am an easy man to get to know as a friend..
I have never been easy to know as a lover as I am a gentleman and would never chase a woman.
If a woman is interested in me she had better pursue me with all she has..
Otherwise I will be on my way and she will remain alone until she has some kind of a dog sniffing her backside...
Then she will only get what she settles for...
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 171
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:03:39 PM
No it is not true.

If a woman is interested she will or should give you a clue, if you can't or don't get the clue (as in a social setting such as a party or dance) She should walk up to you and drag you on the dance floor or ask what you happen to be sipping on then start a conversation.

I have been told by quite a few they would not have asked me first and they were glad I did.

The" challenge" is a game and that is for children.

I like to be woo'd myself, but am not sitting on the sidelines if I see an attractive unattached
male that I find unoccupied.

Both genders should have the opportunity to be the "aggressor" without having labels applied to them or worry about what grandma would think.

Come on, get your back up off the wall.
 cdbergerac
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 172
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/11/2009 5:07:15 PM
Hey Yew4ic


My apologies cdbergerac.


No problem, Ms.. I probably should have stated for the sake of the forum (just in case there was any confusion) that the reason I made a fuss is that the quote attributed to me was actually from "RefinedRogue". Perhaps this person would rather answer personally. ;)

Ms Vannili


It is really has nothing to do with the food, whether it taste like shyte or taste like nectar...... It has something to do with action and interaction with each other for good result..


Well, maybe for some. I do care about the effort (as you point out) but I can't go so far as to say it has nothing to do with the food. Sensual awareness and interaction is important to me. Even the best chef can make a stinker (I sure have made some bad dishes now and again), but if the food is ALWAYS bad then the person isn't connecting.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 173
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/12/2009 5:05:10 PM

A friend of mine told me she read a book that said women should never ask men out, call men , show men they care in the beginning of the relationship or act in an aggressive fashion because it takes away the challenge for a man.

The book she is referring to is "The Rules." Tell her the only use for that book is kindling.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 177
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/12/2009 8:30:56 PM
yew4ic:

Yes I've read that book, but I don't remember the author's name. Perhaps it makes sense to them but not me... " He's Just Not That Into You".

This old silly story makes more sense to me. A young new wife who is being abused by her husband went to a wise man, and in that village is a wild lion that nobody can get near him. The wise man advice the woman to get a 7 whisker from the lion and her problem will so solve... So every morning the woman showed herself unmoving to the lion in a very far place so the lion will get use to her and she moves closer and closer until the lion is comfortable with her and soon the lion put his head on her lap and enjoying her caress on his head and she was able to pull 7 whisker from him... The moral of the story >>> a man can be nervous and insecured of strangers too,,,, let that man get warm up to you and get to know you better, perhaps his type is brunett but once he was comfortable with you and he find out that you are good for him he don't care anymore the color of your hair blond or brunnett etc....
I don't believe that** he is not that into you,** because he doesn't know you yet....
 cednalolefw
Joined: 10/15/2009
Msg: 178
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/12/2009 11:30:44 PM
The answer is quite simple. If you want something (someone), pursue it (him or her). Gender shouldn't matter. Other wise its "mindgames"...or hoping for mind reading...which we guys (most of us) are terrible at. Honesty...subtlety...grace...respect.
 Mr.Versatility
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 183
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 5:40:25 AM
Not true at all, often times a man either would never know you were even interested, or even if he liked you he might not want to step outside of his comfort zone, so it might be a good thing that you initiated contact.


In my eyes, A confident Aggressive woman is very appealing, someone that knows what she wants and dares to go after it.

everything is 50-50 it shouldn't be one sided!
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 184
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 6:01:15 AM
Personally speaking if I was interested I would try and make some kind of eye contact which would let him know. Then the ball is clearing in his court and if interested he will usually approach and strike up a conversation.

thecatsmeoww
 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 186
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 6:45:32 AM
Personally, I have no problem approaching a man if Im interested in him- I've found it usually works better that way rather then fending off the advances of men I'm not interested in. Many of the nicest guys I've met, I've approached first. Including the man I was married to for 25 years. Sometimes a guy I'm interested in will approach me first, but it would be rare for that to happen without me having sent him some kind of signal that I'm willing to be approached. Nice guys don't approach women without some kind of signal from her that its ok to do so.

Now, once I've let him know Im interested, I also subscribe to the theory that if a guy is into you, he will find a way to contact you. So, once he has my number, if he doesn't call, I wont bother contacting him. If he doesn't show me he's really into me, I won't bother. If I'm into him, I'll show him- wouldn't want there to be any doubts.

If someone calls me, I return the call. Not to do so is rude. A good relationship should be nurtured by both parties- the problems arise when one of the people plays games, and holds off, giving rise to insecurities on the other's part.

Anyone who waits 6 months to have sex, IMO, is either showing the guy they're not into him, or is extremely repressed. Or they aren't getting the feedback they need from the guy, in which case I'd have to ask why they're with him.
 Mr.Versatility
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 187
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 6:53:45 AM

Frankly, in the pick-up situation, I'd rather be a b*tch and not say hello than to lead a guy on. I try to be clear. If a man asks me to dance, I'm not thinking he just wants to dance, I figure he is interested. I"m not going to say yes just to be polite. Men say they don't want women to lead them on - well I don't and then I'm labelled cold. I still won't change the way I do that because if the situation were reversed, I'd rather the guy do that than be polite for politesse's sake.


I would have to agree that at least 90% of men who are trying to dance with you aren't just looking to dance, so I don't blame you for your comment or views, however I LOVE to dance and when I'm grooving I will dance with anyone, lets face it there's enough bad male dancers when there is one that can actually dance a woman can appreciate that, and I'm very generous I don't mind being that guy that makes there night.....lol ya a slight bit of sarcasm there.

But yeah not every women I dance with I want or even desire to know beyond that dance floor, same as when you talk to a woman or compliment them, I don't always have any intentions other than giving them a compliment.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 189
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 7:10:45 AM
^^^^^^Wow, pretty strong stereotypes......

Personally, I have never picked up a woman in a night club, not because I have low self esteem. Just figured that women who have nothing better to do than hang around night clubs drinking and waiting to be picked up had to be pretty hard up for a man. Loads and loads of women out there doing fun stuff, completely sober, who are easily met, and not covered in cosmetics or squashed into clothes a size or two too small with cigarettes hanging from their lips.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 191
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 7:14:09 AM
I've said it once and I'll say it again. Men are fine with pursuing a woman if they're sure it will work in their favor.

I don't think any one should have to technically pursue anyone else if that person is interested mutually. As a woman there's nothing wrong with striking up interesting conversation with a man you find attractive, or even going so far as to let them know you find them attractive.

From there you can wrap up your conversation and go on with your day without appearing steamrollish or overly aggressive. Nothing to lose by doing this.

Men, take note - when you approach a woman you like, keep it social and interesting and let the conversation breathe. If you sense she's interested then go on and move the conversation further. If you feel she isn't wish her a nice day and go on with your day. If you can't tell either way - learn to read body language. It's a tremendous help.

I'm with WH (as usual) about most men not dancing just to dance. I almost never meet guys that want to dance without trying to hook up. I dance alone or with friends, no need to dance with guys. If I see a guy I want to dance with I'll go get him...

And for the guy who thinks women are in nightclubs hard up for men, most of us aren't even there looking for any. At least where I come from we go for the music, the drinks, to laugh and dance with each other and go home. A hot guy is not only a bonus, he's a rarity.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 194
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 7:38:37 AM
Generally I believe that a significant amount of women don't prefer to approach a man because honestly they dont need to be approached, because men approach them anyway. Now the quality of those men who approach them goes into a different discussion, but I generally think some women feel why should you come to something that comes to you.

I agree that if the men coming to you are the ones you actually want, then why fix what ain't broken? I'd stick with things the way they were too. If the men aren't what you want but you'd rather take that then make any moves, then I guess go for it.

For those of who get approached mostly by men they just aren't into and would prefer dating men they like to giving up - my post stands.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 195
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 7:52:02 AM
Of course, at my age I clearly would know nothing about life, relationships or women. I mean, who would?

I have spent a fair amount of time in clubs, actually, and as life has gone on, the one thing I have noticed is that as the women and men get older they generally put more effort into making themselves look "more attractive". At least in the urban environment when you spend time in clubs catering to the more mature set you run into more and more women who have "had work done", are heavily made up, and have spent loads on clothes and accessories. Its all about competition.

Yes, there are clubs of different sorts catering to people of different specific interests, and these are not necessarily meat markets. I am referring specifically to the clubs of the meat market variety, and while I am sure that the people there are of many types, the scene appears to me to be pretty much standardized as I describe it. The guys as well are all dressed up with gold Rolexs increasingly expensive suits and shoes, and nobody drinks beer.

Quite a contrast from the places catering to the 20 year olds, or the 30-somethings. Like night and day as far as I can see.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 196
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 8:04:15 AM

Do you think ANY man will approach them...unless they were desperate?


I think that loads of men want to have a woman that is like the ones I refer to. You just have to scan the profiles here to see the various looks that are presented. Men who are into flashy personal appearance for themselves find the made up and decorated woman interesting and go after them. Men who prefer the "au naturelle" women go after that presentation.

Basically, I don't see a lot of difference between a dating site and a meat market club. There tends to be more style variety on the web than in any particular club, but its all out there from the enjoyment. Mostly I notice that people don't really like going to clubs all that much. As soon as they connect with someone they stop going and spend their time doing other stuff with their partner. An occasional outing, yes, but daily?

As for "desperate", I think the motivation has to be strong, but whether "desperate" is the word is another question. I used "hard up" which to me means does not have and would like to have.

Should they approach women? Only if they want to connect with them. Should women approach men? Only if they want to connect with them. Should anyone sit around and wait? Only if you are having a good time doing that.
 Mr.Versatility
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 197
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 8:36:29 AM

Could it be because men want women more than women want men? Has it always been this way? Is it natural or learned? My experience has also been that men want relationships etc., more than women. This is in observing and my experience.



Come on, You can't really believe that, There are tons of women who so desperately want certain guys for certain reasons more than some guys want woman, also You say you've experienced men seeming to want a relationship more than women do, that's odd, Usually its Men just want one thing and the women wants the relationship.


And I love your other comment," For some reason I figured you would say that"
I'm glad to see that someone out there is picking up on my humor, am I that easy to read..lol
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 198
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 8:48:35 AM
Men that are aware will notice clues, but many of us will not be running over and spending all of our time pursuing along with 20 other men that you might have done the same thing to in some fashion, or it was perceived that you did.

It is a two way street, and if you give the clues, you better follow through enough to understand ours, and meet in the middle.

cd........
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 200
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 8:55:42 AM
I have given some time to think about it. Granted many women learned growing up that the man asks. This is what seems to foster the idea that "I would never ask". Some say the guy is a jellyfish, spineless if he doesnt ask you. But how do you know maybe he just hasent taken a noticing of you? I think its time to get down from that high horse and face facts so not to let an opportunity pass you by. Like what one fella said, Anything to make my life easier, he wouldnt mind. It seems since the ultimate goal is a LTR, did you ever think when a man is in a relationship he hopes his partner is savy enough to know when its the right time to make a call on her own, a man sees this as being smart. Not a shameful characteristic as some might believe.
 Carmen-Sandiego
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 202
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IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 12:43:38 PM

~Pedro Sanchez~ Msg 3 - Said:
Its true. If the women is ugly. No its not. If the woman is hot.

Typical thing for an Aussie guy to say.
 Mr.Versatility
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 203
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 12:52:40 PM

Only clueless women believe that men only want one thing and only women want a relationship - my family (I only have brothers) is very relationship oriented. Maybe women want a relationship "faster" than men do? How do you then explain why men send out 100's of emails on here vs the majority of women who probably don't send a single one




Ok and of these 100's of women these men are sending messages too do you think they want a long term relationship? I doubt it, If you have pretty high standards for yourself and are seeking LTR than I don't believe you're magically going to find 100 catches in a short amount of time.

And women send alot more emails than you would think.
 Mr.Versatility
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 205
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 1:29:20 PM
I agree 100% that most men are the one that do most of the chasing, I don't know why that is, Women like men just as much and are just as horny, but they are usually a bit more stubborn and like to be chased.

Not every guy chases women as much as women chase men. but ya Most guys do send more messages.
 You*N*Me
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 207
IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN?
Posted: 11/27/2009 1:53:27 PM
Utter nonsense, a woman in this day and age should feel free to pursue a man. It shows confidence and it also illustrates that the woman knows what she wants, which is desireable.
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