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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 51
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?Page 3 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
I don't know, I don't think the age thing is a big deal. But lying is a very big deal to me...I guess if you are able to justify a lie...then somehow , you will always have that room to justify a lie. Maybe that is too cut and dried, but it's how I feel. I met a guy whose age didn't match his profile. He was up front with me about his age. I don't know, I guess I never asked him why it didn't match. I just gave him the benefit of the doubt. Doesn't seem like the type to lie..but also doesn't seem like the type to screw something like that up. I don't know, it's a moot point anyway I suppose. But now you have me wondering and curious, lol =)
 Alisense
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 52
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/9/2009 11:08:55 PM
Sometimes the trivial little things like lying about one's age is a sigh of other things to come...but then again I don't understand WTF is the difference between 2 yrs. ...I dunno ask him about it???
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 53
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:15:33 AM
Well I read through all 6 pages and I'm not overly surprised that a lot of men responding say that women always lie about their age. I find THAT shit funnier than hell...considering that one guy on ask a girl who ws at least 60 put he was 47 or some crap because he "felt younger"...please. And when he got called out on it he STILL couldn't come clean.

OK...so people lie. Does it make it right? No. Your BF lied about 2 yrs because he thinks women in their 40's have more baggage? Shutthef**kup with that BS. I am 46 and I have never EVER lied about my age on a profile. First off, if I were dating someone and they met my family they'd out my ass for lying right off the bat. I also don't lie about being FAT or wearing wigs. Hello....??? I have pictures of myself with long ass hair and short ass hair and they're all recent. I am a woman who sees hair as an accessory--big freaking whoop. Don't like it? Move on. Oh yes and I wear fake nails, sometimes wear a control panty and oh---I have colored my hair too! That's for all you so-called purist men who are here whining about nails and hair. Give me a break. Do I NEED to call out men about the di*k size thing? I didn't think so...but I can. Or the "that's not a toupee/hairplugs" thing. Or the I am 6 feet tall and your ass is barely hitting 5'9" thing.

Having read your other post where you say he lied AGAIN, I certainly hope that you've stepped back and started looking at this relationship---hard. Lying about one's age, especially in this day and age where you can be found out for a few bucks, ain't worth it--at least to me. The last man I dated was 63--do you know he dodged telling me his age for 2 weeks? I finally told him that I 1) don't guess at people's ages and 2) liked him for who he was, not how old he was. The sad part about it? We parted ways--not because of his age--but because of his lack of maturity. I've dated men half his age who were a helluva lot more mature than he was.

Those of you who are blathering on about your "biological age" crap--please spare me. If your ass is 50, I don't give a flip that you FEEL 40. YOUR ASS IS 50 and that's all that matters. I can say I'm 46 and feel 36 but that still doesn't make me 36. That is a stupid ass lie and I can't believe those of you who put that out there believe what you're writing. Biological age is not meant to be used as a lie for dating. Sheeshus.

Look people--especially you LaineeJ. As another person or persons have said here, a small casual lie can hide large casual lies. It's so not worth it. People who are divorced saying single/never married then trying to explain that away. For those of us who truly ARE single/never married, we end up having to prove that we really haven't been married because of you folks. Those men and women who say a few lbs overweight and are lard asses--thanks again. Those of us who DO tell the truth have to contend with your lies too. Or the I don't post my picture because you should fall for me without seeing me because I am soooooo wonderful storytellers. Some of ya'll need to find a mirror that works and stop playing.

Am I being mean? Sure if it feels that way to you then yeah I am. But there's so much BULLSHYT with online dating as it is, when you do run across someone who says I am really 46, I have never been married, I really am chunky/fat, and I don't have kids, people question it because they can't believe you'd be honest about something that's so simple to find out.

How truly hard is it to BE YOURSELF? Apparently pretty damn hard if I'm reading correctly. Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong--being honest about who and what I am.

Nah....I don't think so. I just think that too many other people have lied about who and what they are for so long they can't face the reality that they deal with everyday.

I think I'll go look in the mirror before I leave for work one more time. Damn if 46 don't look good!
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 54
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:44:12 AM

Shutthef**kup with that BS.


ROFLMAO Dayymm, I can just hear you saying that, too!


LolSome of ya'll need to find a mirror that works and stop playing.


Lol. You gonna believe me, or your lyin' eyes? AFL, you can do more jabs in a minute than Ali!


I think I'll go look in the mirror before I leave for work one more time. Damn if 46 don't look good!


I don't think I'd ever try to argue a point with this lady. No way to win. Lol
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 55
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 6:25:40 AM
don't be too concerned about it.

especially if he looked 5 yrs younger than the age he stated.

there's worse things to get worked up about. just make sure that's all he fibbed about.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 56
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He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:05:45 AM

Is this like merchandise price tags?

Not about what is being advertised but who is consuming. 99.99 sounds like much more than a penny less than $100 and yet, it works, even though the vast majority of us know about it. 29 may seem infinitely younger than 30 to some people and let's face it, when it comes to the age filters, they usually are set on the zeros and fives, I rarely see someone that has set the top parameter at 38 or 47 but they are often 40 and 50.
 Indigo rose
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 57
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:13:55 AM
Only two years? Pffft I have been lying about my age for over thirty some years. When I was young I added a few years. Came in real handy when I got that fake I.D.
Now my age is nunyo!
But...... men should neva lie about that stuff. What gives??? It's evil I tellz ya! If you are an old geezer...deal!!!
 acuddler
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 58
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:56:18 AM
A lie is a lie. If a person lies about small things, they also lie about big things. Ages, and age differences are nothing to lie about, as age is just an attitude. If someone lies about age they also lie about: being single/married, loving you, being at work instead of with another lover, etc. I have dated women as much as 17 years younger than myself, and as much as 22 years older than myself, and age was never a factor in our getting together,or in anything we ever did. Since getting on POF recently, I have hidden my profile because I found someone, and have no wish to meet anyone else. I just get on now to read/write in the forums,and so help others find happiness by adjusting their attitudes. My current flame-who is right for me in every way-is ten years younger than I am. Nice people do not lie. Look at famous liars of history,and how nice they were, or weren't, to put lies into perspective. Adolf Hitler, Ted Bundy, Richard Nixon, Henry the 8th, and Joseph Stalin were some of history's most prolific liars. How nice were they? Would you want to be romantically involved with any of them? This guy admits that he lied to get something he wanted...dates with women of a certin age. What about when what he wants is you plus three other lovers on the side?
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 59
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:44:03 AM

What gives??? It's evil I tellz ya! If you are an old geezer...deal!!!


I don't like lies anymore than the next person, but ^^^^^^ I definitely like. Lol
Hey, Indigo, can you tip those cows all by yourself? There are some in here for ya that might benefit from inverting their perspective. Lol
Always took more than one of us to move the mooers, lol, but I was alot younger then, and had never heard of leverage.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 60
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He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:17:46 AM
My Great Grandmother was two years older than her second husband. She told him she was three years younger than she really was.......

The whole family knew, and we were threatened with death, if we ever let it slip that she was older than him.

They were happily married for 35 years.

The whole family breathed a collective sigh of relief, when he died, and we didn't have to worry about the SECRET anymore.....what a relief!

Could it be a red flag YES. Does it have to be a problem NO.

You have to decide which it's going to be, and stick to it. If you aren't going to trust the man because of what he did, then you might as well give it up now...........
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 61
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:14:09 AM
I don't know how big a deal the age lie was in and of itself - I'd be inclined to view it as more of a yellow light, I think, if I knowingly encountered this - but his justifying it by saying that lots of people do this set off all kinds of alarm bells for me. IMO lying should be accompanied by some shame.

So it wasn't a huge surprise to see that he lied to get out of having a dinner date (post #52 for anyone playing catch-up). Not such a nice guy after all... on the positive side of things, at least he was stupid about it. A smarter liar might have got away with it a lot longer!
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 62
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:24:05 AM

My Great Grandmother was two years older than her second husband. She told him she was three years younger than she really was.......

The whole family knew, and we were threatened with death, if we ever let it slip that she was older than him.

They were happily married for 35 years.

The whole family breathed a collective sigh of relief, when he died, and we didn't have to worry about the SECRET anymore.....what a relief!
Wow so Great Gramps went to his grave without knowing the truth.........*high five* You did it for his own "protection" I presume. Well hopefully most guys in 2009 aren't emotionally shattered to be seeing a woman who's older than them.......but then again......

One day some people will grow up.........................maybe
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 63
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He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:30:50 AM
To quote Lucille Ball, "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

Haha, I can't believe you all are hyped up about the lying part and not the he's obviously too stupid to set his age parameters and do searches thing. Who wants to date someone that's stupid?
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 64
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He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 12:32:12 PM

If a relationship doesn't start out with the truth, I don't see it lasting. Excuse the lies all you want, they are still lies...
To err is human; to forgive, divine. I can think of 100 more important qualities that I seek in a lady than rank above her completely accurately reflecting her age on her dating profile. You see people making all sorts of white/black knee-jerk reactions to thread questions posed in the forums. There is a hell of a lot more grey area regarding aspects of interpersonal relationships than lots of people are seemingly willing to admit--no wonder why there are so many people entering and subsequently leaving relationships.

He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Concerned? A bit. Mature people have mature discussions about things that concerns them. They don't throw out the baby with the bathwater. If this lie fits into a pattern of other lies, guess what? Now you have a legitimate concern. Would I keep my eyes open for more lies? Sure. I'd be doing this with a partner regardless of whether I suspected her white lies could be part of a bigger problem or not. I recommend the same advice to the OP regarding this dude. Not to jettison a potentially positive relationship before attempting to work out middling issues.
 LookingForDeesRight1
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 65
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 1:48:22 PM
Rarebird76: You don't remember hating being 30..well neither did I. Didn't hate turning 40 either. When you get to 50 maybe YOU won't care one bit. Unfortunately there are those that do. Once again, I'm not saying I was RIGHT to lie. Obviously if I thought I was 'right' I wouldn't have admitted to it. In a forum of 'some' very critical people I might add.

As far as your comment about merchandise price tags...Oh come on!!! When we put down our age interests as between 43 - 49 (example) what is that saying then? To me it says that it DOES make a difference to people. Did "I" change between 49 & 50? Not really, what changed was I am now in an entirely different age group. OK, I have to deal with that. I get it. Actually, I realized it very soon after my initial signing up but felt the damage had been done and that if I told a person RIGHT AWAY it wouldn't be that big of a deal. And it didn't to the men I've met on here.

And, maybe they SHOULD add a 'how old do you feel in your mind option' here!

If only we could all be as perfect as your obviously think you are.....
-----------------------------------------------
Adventurousme57: Thank you for your insight Sweetie! I am very happy that you are so confident in yourself. And you are a very attractive woman. I agree that lack of self acceptance does come through loud and clear ... as I've said "I" obviously am not blessed with your wonderful self esteem. I do however try very hard not to make others feel badly about themselves in an effort to boost make myself look or feel better.
----------------------------------------------
aaamm: I'm not sure how many times I have to say this, but YES YES YES, I obviously am upset with myself for lying about my age. I have not denied that. Thank you for taking the time to read my 'profile review post'. I am not condemning people those people who don't like liars. I'm saying that from what I've read there are MANY people on this site who seem, to me, to be extremely judgemental, and mean spirited. That is of course 'my' opinion. I didn't even post to defend 'myself'. You can say I lied, I cannot deny that. But to say because I was obviously wrong and lied about my age on a dating site I will lie about every other thing in my life. Maybe there are those that do, but I'd like to think that there are actually some people that are basically good who might have 'issues', be it there age, weight, height, etc....
------------------------------------
Why is it so easy for some people to rip others apart without really knowing them? I'm not just talking about 'this' thread either. Perhaps it was a mistake for me to post to this thread but ... I still feel that there are many people who should get off their high horses and possibly have a bit of compassion for those of us who are not as perfect as some think we should be.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 66
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He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 1:54:20 PM

Thanks to everyone for your input. I have been told in the past that I am "too picky" and I know I can overreact at times. I am a little wary of him...a few weeks ago, I had invited him to dinner at my place and he told me that he was celebrating his brother's birthday. Well....tonight, he was talking about his brother and he mentioned that he and his brother were born on the same day, five years apart. His bday is in December. I am disgusted right now....


This might sound like a dumb question, but do you know how many brothers he has?

If he has two brothers, he might have been telling the truth.....

If he only has one brother, that's a different story.

I don't like being in the dark, so I ask questions....I try to be nonchalant, but if it's obvious that someone is boldface lying, I'd rather know now, than later.

The problem with telling lies, is that unless one has a very good memory, and can remember what they've lied about, and to who.....it usually doesn't take long for them to screw up.....
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 67
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 1:57:38 PM
I dumped a guy for lying, too! It was only by two inches!!!
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 68
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 3:40:11 PM

I dumped a guy for lying, too! It was only by two inches!!!


Yeah, she dumped me- I didn't know she was one of those pole vaulters. And was hopin' maybe I could fudge it. LMAO!
Hmmmm, sounds kinda like you memorialized that whopper in your screen name! Hell hath no fury like a woman duped!
 LookingForDeesRight1
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 69
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 3:57:11 PM
saveurbreath 2inflatedate: I dumped a guy for lying, too! It was only by two inches!!!

Now that is funny!!!!
 spunkybum52
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 70
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:09:25 PM
Yes, seems some men have a crisis about their age as well, not only women. Some men don't like to put their right age on, because they say women don't like to date older men. If he didn't want to be matched up with women in their 40s & 50s, he could have specified that on his profile..... something like only women under 40 apply. I wouldn't accept that as an excuse, cause there are ways around that, and he could have sepcified. I think he has a complex silly man. Yes, I have met men who lie about their age, but don't see any point. It's silly. Men go through mid life crisis too, and the older they get, the harder it is for some men to accept that they are aging. That is their problem. I don't like it either, as I am upfront. And besides, what is 2 years really going to do to him? Does he think it will make a difference in the way he looks or acts? I think he has a problem...
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 71
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:05:55 PM
If only we could all be as perfect as your obviously think you are.....
I'm not perfect but I just think it's extremely LAZY and or disrespectful/deceitful (depending on the reasons) to lie on a dating site. This isn't the liquor store clerk who you tell you're 21 when you're not to try and get alcohol this is a site where you are attempting to form RELATIONSHIPS with people. WTH is so hard to understand about that? It's not that somebody told the worst lie in the world because they lied about their age it's the fact that it seems to be ACCEPTABLE....THE NORM.... and probably rampant (who can really know since you don't know who the hell is a liar or not).

I guess I'm a sucker for honesty.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 72
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He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:36:42 PM

Haha, I can't believe you all are hyped up about the lying part and not the he's obviously too stupid to set his age parameters and do searches thing. Who wants to date someone that's stupid?

Priceless.
 LookingForDeesRight1
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 73
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 6:18:45 PM
OK people...you win...I am a pathetic liar. Mostly pathetic. I tried to state my case for others and managed to make myself look worse than I even feel. I give up.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 74
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He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 6:36:03 PM

OK people...you win...I am a pathetic liar. Mostly pathetic. I tried to state my case for others and managed to make myself look worse than I even feel. I give up.


Whoa! You're on an internet dating site....I don't think anyone called you "pathetic", or a "pathetic liar". And even if they did.....who cares?

Everyone has an opinion.....you don't HAVE to agree with it, or take it personally when they don't agree with you.

Geez......
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 75
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:02:05 PM
OK people...you win...I am a pathetic liar. Mostly pathetic. I tried to state my case for others and managed to make myself look worse than I even feel. I give up.
I can tell you're a sweet lady. But is honesty the worst thing in the world? So what if you don't get as many "hits" to your profile because some people are number phobic. You can still be proactive and do the searching yourself to make up for that. Do you really want a guy who has a problem with your age? For a while I had my filters set from 26 to 42 but since I now want a LTR I've decided it's better to keep a bit closer to my age. But the point is I'm sure there are probably many guys out there like me who aren't hung up on childish "cusps" of ages. I could probably pass for younger but I don't and have no desire to. Try to accept yourself.
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