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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 RN_4ever
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 176
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?Page 8 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
I am 31 female and I would say be careful about dating guys too much older if you are interested in having kids... Evidence is mounting that paternal age has a direct tie to incidence of autism, schizophrenia, etc... see these articles

http://www.newsweek.com/id/194871

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/27/health/27sper.html?_r=1
 I am Whim
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 177
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/4/2010 8:59:17 PM
I fell in love with a man that I met here in POF. We exchanged 600 messages and we did meet. I look very young for my age and I color my hair... so I have trouble judging if someone looks older than their age. I'm 55 and he listed that he was 58. He was actually 68 (13 years older than me). It ended our relationship and it messed with my faith in mankind.
My profile is hid right now because I'm afraid to trust anyone else.
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 178
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/5/2010 9:41:39 AM
I fell in love with a man that I met here in POF. We exchanged 600 messages and we did meet. I look very young for my age and I color my hair... so I have trouble judging if someone looks older than their age. I'm 55 and he listed that he was 58. He was actually 68 (13 years older than me). It ended our relationship and it messed with my faith in mankind.


Well... Iam Whim -- msg 424, I am so sorry that he lied but "falling in love" before you met?
I have to ask, why 600 messages before you two got around to meeting? Yes, everyone has their preferences on everything, including how long they have to email before meeting, but 600 seems like forever and in my opinion sets one up for that "kick in the gut" when you finally do meet and only learn then that they have lied. Exactly why I am all for meeting asap to avoid the hurts of disappointment.

There are good men here and they can't find you if you hide. That only hurts you, not them.


Charliegirl
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 179
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/5/2010 3:57:22 PM

People who lie about their age .... LIE period. If you were talking about stealing and you said ....well he only stole a book .... as aposed to a car ....it is still THEFT. Just like lying about your age is still LYING.


hmm, well people say that "it's only a small lie" or 'a small theft' -as if that makes it not important

isn't that even a WORSE sign ??

if someone will steal something worth $2, OBVIOUSLY they would steal something bigger, worth $2,000 or $20,000, given the chance.

they will lower themselves for a mere $2, so wouldn't they steal with some real monetary motivation?

same with a lie -if they will tell a 'small' lie -lie over something fairly minor, almost irrelevant, doesn't that seem to show they will lie at will when they have a greater motivation?

(e.g. if you ask them if they had sex with another person while you are supposedly 'together' ?) ?

if you ask if they have a criminal record? convicted of any felonies? etc., etc.

-whether they are married or have another family elsewhere?
 luvsa78209
Joined: 6/13/2010
Msg: 180
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/5/2010 5:06:18 PM
Oh my goodness. Out of all the things that a person SHOULD worry about, this is all you have? These days, everyone is concerned about getting older. He is at a boundary, from 30's to 40's. He's crossed it and he hates it. He still wants to be in his 30's. It feels younger and it sounds younger. Let him have it. Remember too, there are now other ways of counting age other than chronological. There are also things like biological age. His body and mind may still be much younger than the average 40 year old. Stop worrying about it!! Worry about something bigger, if you must worry. Is he a serial killer? Is he in the witness protection program? Are all his ex-girlfriends buried in the dessert outside Las Vegas? You know, important stuff! Sheesh!
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 181
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/5/2010 7:06:05 PM
Most of the women I meet in real life are either 39 or 49. I have met a couple of women on POF who have lied about their age by a couple or years. This little lie was not as big some of the others in thier profiles.

OP I could see you worrying about someone lying about their age by 2 yrs if you were 18 or older and your BF said he was 18 when he was only 16 but this sort of lie is so trivial past the age of 25 and so commonplace I don't see a need to be concerned. As the above poster said much more important things to consider. I curious how many years were you 29 yrs old?
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 182
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/5/2010 11:23:32 PM
If it's so dammm irrelevant. Why not be honest about it? Where do you draw the line for the other person? 5'4" or 5'8" it's only 2 inches. A size 10 or a size 14? It's only 2 sizes. Be who you are. Someone will love you for you.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 183
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/6/2010 7:24:14 AM
How can you say it's okei to lie about your age, but not your
height or your weight.
A lie is a lie. People get really pissed when others lie about
their height, weight or what they look like, but seem to give
some a pass when it comes to age. I guess it depends on how
tall you are, how much you weigh, and what you look like
whether or not it's acceptable to lie about your age.

 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 184
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/6/2010 2:19:08 PM

There are good men here and they can't find you if you hide.


That is such a sweet thing to say Charliegirl. I like your positive attitude.
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 185
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/8/2010 10:54:33 AM
Chances R MD ... thank you.

 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 187
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/8/2010 5:14:04 PM
^^^^Playing devils advocate a little hear. How far do you want to take the truth. Should a person show up on a date as they really are without any falsehoods to mislead the other person: ie no make up or jewelry, no deodorant or purfumes, no dyed hair or fancy clothes or padded pushup bras, no shaving or grooming you hair etc etc. I know the above is a little ridiculous but my point is we all put on falsehoods to make a good impression to the outside world and it isn't until someone really gets to know us that they find out what we are all about. I don't know if anyone else has noticed how blurry the photo's on POF are ( due to the small amount of information stored in the picture files ) but everyone on here has that nicely airbrushed quality so there is not much truth in advertising in the photo's either.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 188
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/8/2010 7:28:43 PM
I like old pics from 1999 and lying about your age by at least 3 years.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 189
view profile
History
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/8/2010 8:48:04 PM
my mother was was 39 for years lol. so was my dad!
 brendan1121
Joined: 7/1/2010
Msg: 190
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/8/2010 9:53:13 PM
I wouldn't be concerned. Mind you I did exactly the same thing. It was the only thing I lied about and most people think I'm younger than that. I stay healthy.
As long as everything else is intact, whats the difference.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 191
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/8/2010 10:11:50 PM
Cheshirecatalyst: I had up to 8 photo's posted on here until I decided to take a break from dating about a month ago. I don't really see the point in photo's if I am not here to date and since my discussion on photo's had to do with dating.....
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 192
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 7/9/2010 8:14:16 AM

Oh my goodness. Out of all the things that a person SHOULD worry about, this is all you have? These days, everyone is concerned about getting older.

So that makes it OK to lie about it?

He is at a boundary, from 30's to 40's. He's crossed it and he hates it. He still wants to be in his 30's. It feels younger and it sounds younger. Let him have it. Remember too, there are now other ways of counting age other than chronological. There are also things like biological age. His body and mind may still be much younger than the average 40 year old. Stop worrying about it!! Worry about something bigger, if you must worry. Is he a serial killer? Is he in the witness protection program? Are all his ex-girlfriends buried in the dessert outside Las Vegas? You know, important stuff! Sheesh!

If he's lying about his age, he might just lie about all those bodies. (Who on earth feels the need to lie when hitting age 40? OH!! I know. A man I met in March. He stated 38, he told me later, 43. I didn't see him twice.)

~OT~ If it's OK to lie to a potential partner, it should be OK to lie to the Department of Motor Vehicles, medical personnel, human resource departments, police officers, Judges, clergy, etc., etc. One should be NO different than that others. And we all know, that isn't how it works. JMO
 Twilightslove
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 193
view profile
History
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/9/2010 8:17:51 AM
I don't see being too concerned about someone not knowing their exact height or weight yet when it comes to age, age is a certainty. Not everyone checks their weight or height often. I lost two inches in height since I was younger. I didn't know that until I went to a doctor and they measured my height.

The problem with the age thing can be minor if it is only a couple of years difference and that is the only thing that a person misrepresented. I know someone who met a man and the man said he was about 10 years younger than he was. Then as she got to know him two divorces became five divorces. His son apparently confirmed eight divorces just recently although three of them he married twice. So the age lie was a predictor of this man's less than honest self.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 194
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/9/2010 9:38:42 AM

Not everyone checks their weight or height often. I lost two inches in height since I was younger. I didn't know that until I went to a doctor and they measured my height


That's an interesting point many women on here are quite firm on a minimum height requirement and as we age we shrink. I wonder how many men on here are reporting thier height from when they were in thier 20's. I too recently measured my height at the doctors and have shrunk from 5'11.5" ( when I was 20 ) to 5'10" as posted in my profile. it's a good thing we don't have to post our weight on here as I am sure there would be some stretching of the truth on that one ( find a scale that makes you happy ).

Its interesting that we can opt out on body type ( rather not say - is that a lie or just concealing ) or desire for children ( I would think that would be important ). I think where this post is going is funny after seeing profiles of women I know on POF stating they are single when they are in fact divorced or separated but that is in another thread.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 195
view profile
History
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/9/2010 6:55:26 PM
Ohfergawdsakes. People tell fibs all the time. Half the people on this board are acting as though shaving a couple years off is the equivalent of betraying nuclear secrets.

People badly need lives.
 sosdd
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 196
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/10/2010 8:27:16 AM
You can tell much about someone's character that defends lying. Lying about cold facts indicates the person is in denial about their age or whatever they are lying about. Men listing they are 6'1" and are 5'10" says the man doesn't want to accept their body as it is. Same as age, weight, etc. There are differences in telling someone you are busy and saying you are 48 when you are 50 etc. Unbelievable that as an adult some people don't know the differences.
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 197
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/10/2010 10:15:02 AM

Not everyone checks their weight or height often. I lost two inches in height since I was younger. I didn't know that until I went to a doctor and they measured my height


yeah, not too much excuse for people "forgetting" their date of birth -or being unable to calculate their age by subtracting their birth date from the current date. I had someone trying to claim on POF that their age as shown on POF profile was 3 years younger than they really were because they JOINED 3 years ago -but you don't enter an age, you enter a D/O/B and the system calculates your age to show.. LMAO


I guess we can tell from the apologists for lying above who has likely lied about their D/O/B on their POF profile -it's no big deal, etc.

so of course, no big deal if you lie to DMV when getting your driver's license, or to Passports issuers when getting a passport etc -it might make you feel better ?
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 198
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/10/2010 10:27:41 AM
This just shows how lame and brainwashed many people are. Similar to how product pricing works 'oh it's $25.00...hmmm kinda expensive, that's 1/4 of $100.00.........oh wait this one over here is $24.99 SOLD!' Once pea brains can wrap their heads around accepting numbers then they won't need to be lied to or lie themselves and everybody can grow the hell up maybe. I don't care if a woman is 39 or 40 or 41. If I like what I see and hear that's the bottom line. Just tell me the damn truth out of respect. You can count on me to do the same. Self serving mentality is a major turnoff to me.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 199
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/10/2010 3:25:03 PM
If a couple of years was really no big deal then why lie about it? Obviously it's a big deal to the liar....or they wouldn't. A lie is a lie is a lie!
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 200
Yeah, we should all be concerned........
Posted: 7/10/2010 4:44:21 PM
Since I joined POF I met one women who lied on her profile and said she was older by four years because she wanted to and make it into the over 45 crowd and date older men... when I met her she told me her real age. For those worried about a couple of years here or there would this ruffle your lie detecting feathers.

I've met women in thier mid 50's who looked better than some women in thier early 40's. For women over 40 I would personally rather have them put the age they look on their profile since the photo's are so grainy. She could tell me the truth after we had met ... women have been concealing and lying about their age for generations when it comes to dating. Isn't not looking your age what keeps the makeup and plastic surgery industries thriving.
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