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 Svetlana Blue
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 101
Multiple children by multiple partnersPage 5 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I do not have children, but have met plenty of men who have...and "multiple" partners/children. Note I say MET not DATED (I will not date these men). I guess MY biggest question is...why do people not take more precautions and simply use birth control? I mean...it is not that hard. All these baby mama and baby daddy situations I hear about. I would not even want to date someone with this situation. Drama city. I do not care if the kid looks like mommy or daddy physically the bottom line is who is paying for all these rug rats??? I know I am paying for a lot of them. I have heard so many times "well it was not planned" ..how many fkn times can you "ooops not planned?" Multiple partners/multiple kids all over the place = not very responsible. Just my opinion. And men are just as responsible as the women. His dick did not get in there without protection on its own.
 bigben1731
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 102
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 4:59:43 AM
nope wouldnt even think about dating a single mum with multi kids from diffrent partners no thanks since i dont have kids of my own bilogical. but a single mum with 6 or 7 kids good luck on your search not up my alley thats a thought
 RLFish
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 103
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 6:21:54 AM
LOL...since I am at a stage in parenting where all FOUR of this SINGLE MOM's children are grown & on their own...I wonder if that would change the thought process of people like BigBen1731? Would her owning her own home/business & being secure...all her other charming qualities...persuade you to reconsider? (hypothetically...I am not asking you out!) Honestly, I RARELY date guys who have not experienced parenthood, anyway...as in my experiences, most are lacking in family values & do not understand my children being numero uno on my priority list.

Hey...I also won't date guys with young children still in the nest! No offense!

But yeah...the whole "look alike" thing...pfffft! Adopted kids don't look like one another, neccessarily. I have TWINS who look as opposite as day & night! In fact, my daughter of the twins looks like her oldest brother...my son of the twins looks like his oldest sister...the twins have a DIFFERENT FATHER than the older two! *snort*

OP...I am still waitin' on a reply to one of my earlier messages, btw...I think you missed that!
 RLFish
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 104
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 9:36:54 AM
Honestly, I was SHOCKED to see your age, m_church! I expected you to be someone in his early 20's with a comment as such. At our age, don't you think it's COMMON to have a marriage/kids under our belts? I mean, who cares if you are not their first...as they say, work on being the last! ;)
 Tomau
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 105
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 9:59:50 AM
RLfish, please refresh my memory to which question,

and as for m_church's remark, kids generally have both parents features
 Tomau
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 106
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:13:29 AM
And if it was the question about would i feel any different about a woman with 7 kids, same father on welfare. My answer was something of the sorts like this. I would feel a little different at least she wasn't bopping from one to the next having a kid each year with a different man. However, I still think they should do something to better their lives rather than sitting on welfare if they are, and not having even more kids. And those 7 kids of all one father more than likely don't have a different male in and out of their lives every few months.

The woman I referred to, have a baby and not even 3 months later are knocked up again and having another guys kids. Great role model for the kids isn't it.

I see many offended here about me even mentioning it, yet I do not see one person who has posted who fits into that type in the first place. Some may have kids with more than one guy, but did you have the baby, kick daddy out and find another to knock you up and then continue the cycle?

As for answering questions the poster who claims I had my children with a man who lost 2 to social services already needs to reread as nowhere did I post such. The only two children he has are with me. My daughter lives with my aunt and will be returning home soon. And no the social services didn't do that. I have had friends who have had it happen to them though.
 RLFish
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 107
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:22:35 AM
My apologies...it really was not posed as a question, but more of a comment...


<div class="quote">i have a 6 month old of my own and an older daughter coming back to live with me soon.

<div class="quote">Now I could do what you did...and assume the worst in your situation....your 11 year old daughter coming back to live with you, eh?? The things people could assume about you for not having your daughter!

I am trying to make a point and stay tactful...not get to the point where we are slinging hash! Point being is...a mother who does not even have physical custody of her daughter...who separates her two children (by the same father, though!)...could be judged harshly as well.
 Tomau
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 108
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:37:44 AM
She is there for a good reason. Yes you can assume and judge me as you want, at least welfare isnt paying for my kids, and my son wasn't planned but I was smart and got fixed. I support myself and dont continue to have children that I can't afford.

Yes I rent I am getting back on my feet and doing things for myself. I left the home, I got nothing I was able to leave with the kids, their stuff and two suitcases of clothes for us, had to use welfare temporarily til I got some clients for my web designing....

and for those who seem to have trouble quoting.... it is [quote ] stuff you are quoting goes in here [/quote ] but without the spaces in the brackets
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 109
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:41:02 AM
so Matariki, why is your daughter living with your aunt and not her mother?
 Tomau
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 110
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 11:19:30 AM
I placed her there when I first left him as I was living in a shelter. Since then she was enrolled in a special education program tailored to her that is not offered at the school in my area, she lives an hour drive down island. Now that her program is done she will be coming back at the end of the month. I felt it best to have her stay until she was finished with that. She is quite excited to come home and she sees her brother and I most days.
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 111
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 11:23:06 AM
Matariki, well I'm glad that you are in a better place now...for your sake and the sake of your children. It must have been so hard for you to be separated from her.
 Tomau
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 112
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 11:53:40 AM
That it is, can't wait for her to get home either.... of course she wants me to teach her to play my bass now... which I will do of course.

It's one reason why I can never understand why a parent will willingly not see their children. I sometimes wonder if it ever really bothers him he hasn't seen her in over a year now, nor ever seen his son. He used to talk to me but the new gf told him he couldn't and he listens to her. I see her where I am in a few years if not sooner since he tells her he had a vasectomy he never did have.
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 113
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:00:56 PM

I can never understand why a parent will willingly not see their children


We can only understand what we can "relate" to.....

Take this topic for instance...I can't understand why someone would have a new kid every year by a different guy but I also don't think I can judge them. I can think of a few reasons why it might happen but for each case, I couldn't tell you.

If they are emotionally damaged individuals....I can feel empathy for them all.
If they are seeking more welfare money...I can feel empathy for the children and angry with the mom.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 114
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:08:42 PM
Hmm. Seeing a lot of black newbies in some threads. That's nice. Well.... maybe. Depends on how much... well I'm sure there will be a time and a place for what I have to say about that. And this ain't it.


From things as simple as a women showing up with 3 kids who look alike, or a woman showing up with 3 kids who don't look alike. The mother with the 3 kids who look alike is just a better picture.
Bullshit argument. In the case of mixed kids alone - black people can show up with some very light to mixed kids and will get questioned on whether or not they are they are their kids. And white people with dark mixed children will get questioned if it their kids.

In the same families with the same mother and father, some kids may not look all that much alike. In one family I know, the son is the spitting image of his father. The daughter looks like aunt of the mother. If you saw them, you would think they had different fathers or were not related to each other, but they have the same mother and father. And what's even more weird? Her oldest son by a different man looks more like this particular son than his sister by the same father.

My brother and I had different fathers, and people just seem to know we were related without asking either of us. My dad is very dark - dark chocolate. My bro's father was lighter skinned, peanut butter dark. Yet we both have same peanut butter color, honey-colored eyes with the same shape, full lips, and oblong faces. So sometimes children with different fathers may look more alike than those with the same fathers. And sometimes children may not look much like either bio parent (even if they have the same parent) because we can look like anyone in the generations behind us.

Ignorance abounds. It's outstanding.
 Tomau
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 115
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:16:12 PM
Yep the looking alike is crazy, my sisters and I all have the same father none of us look alike, both parents dark haired and fairly native looking mother, yet here I am very definitely not native looking yet I am cree, mohawk and Irish. With my children's mix they are Kiwi. Three of my sisters are blonde and the other 2 of us are dark haired. Have no idea where the blonde came from either, yet my daughter was blonde when she was little now she is same color as ours and well the son was born with dark hair just needs to grow some soon lol.

Not one of us siblings looks the same. Now our children, my one sisters daughter is the exact copy of me when I was her age. And my daughter looks like my cousin as she did at that age.

Genetics is a very funny yet interesting thing.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 116
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:18:01 PM
And isn't it interesting that people who claim so much concern about anyone's kids are usually saying that when it involves some kind of ignorant prejudice? 'Oh I'm only thinking about the kids! It's just not right for her to marry that black man and have another kid when her other kids look like the friggin rainbow coalition. And then she will have to go on welfare and I despise welfare whores and think all form of welfare should be eliminated! And no abortions for her! Welfare whores should have those kids it serves their irresponsible asses right for having kids out of wedlock when she knew she couldn't take care of them!

But my only concern is for the kids! I'm thinking of those kids.
It's just too bad for those kids. We need to take better care of those kids. '



Yeah right. You have concern about those kids like a dope pusher has concern about the poor columbians who manufacture cacaine. Think about that one for a minute.
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 117
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:30:43 PM
My family is a rainbow....both my children are mixed. My son is light skinned with dark fro, the spitting image of his father...only his lips look like me. My daughter is as white skinned as I am with blonde hair and hazel eyes but is the spitting image of me. I am sure over the years when some people looked at my son and I they didn't think I was his mother....I just never thought about it until now. I don't much care what others think anyway...he is my son, I love him. I know my daughter's father had people questionning him about whether or not she was really his....I paid for a DNA test so he could confidently say yes she is mine. I feel no different walking with my daughter than I do walking with my son.

When you mix races up...you never know what you will get when they pop out of the oven but why the hell does it matter? If some people want to pass judgement on my family, I see it very much as their issue and not mine.

I am always amazed at the shallowness of grown men/women who care about such things.........
 jenn8131
Joined: 11/7/2009
Msg: 118
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:55:12 PM
I apologize it was from another thread where u posted about a "friend" having that happen. But what does it matter that ur babies come from the same guy? He still is a deadbeat. You have posted how he took all ur money and also just now that u ended up living in a shelter. And how he has been dodging paying his cs. And how do u know those are his only 2 children by the sounds of it he gets around quiet a bit. Its a musicians lifestyle. Come on part of the draw about musicians is well they are kind of sexy. I used to have a bf a singer and when we went to his gigs I tell u every woman in that bar wanted him.

Say if you had been 16 when you had the first two and things fell apart. Lets say you met another guy at 24 and fell in love and he wanted a baby? Would you have another child? Seriously you can't answer these questions because you don't know what you would have done if your circumstances had been different.

Now with me I was in university straight after high school. I did 5 yrs at University. So I didn't have a baby in my late teens, early twenties. I did get pregnant at 25. The latest I'm willing to have another child is 32. But I'm not rushing into it. Maybe I'll go to a sperm bank who cares what I do. Its my life and I'm entitled to live it the way I want. Now because I'm responsible I know I won't have more children then I can afford because I want to be able to provide a certain quality of life for my child(ren).

Lets face it women don't get smart about men until they are in their mid-twenties if ever.

I'm not offended I just don't see why you need to pick on other single moms. Can u imagine what kind of crappy lives these women must've had to feel that they can only fill the empty void in their life by having multiple children? That the only way they feel important is to have more children? That they feel no man will want them so they just have sex with who is willing? They obviously don't care about their health otherwise they wouldn't be having unprotected sex with random men. How much do you have to hate urself to do that? I just don't believe in throwing dirt in someones face when they are already down.

This was just a bad post.You just added another post for single moms to be bashed on. And who cares if most of the women posting doesn't fit into these categories. The reason u are getting such strong reactions is cuz well I for one thought my children were going to be coming from the same man. I wasn't planing on having multiple baby daddies. But what I only get one child? while my ex is free to go and have more while not being responsible for the one he has. A woman can only be pregnant by one man at a time but yet a man can have 2/3 different women pregnant at the same time.


At any given time a woman can feel insecure in her life. She can be told she's not pretty enough, she's not smart enough, she's not good for anything. I don't mind my tax dollars going to help others. I always donate $2 everytime I go grocery shopping. There are much worse ways to spend tax dollars. There are always those that are less privileged and I don't believe children should suffer. Most of these girls that have these multiple partners are girls themselves and have not fully weighed the consequences of their decisions. And I'm sure a few of them are defeated and been kicked down by life. I'm not going to point my finger at them and say "you bad mother". I have no right to judge her even if i was married and only had one baby daddy. Whenever I was 19 and saw a girl younger then me with a child I felt sorry for her. I still feel sorry for young girls who are forced into motherhood before they are really prepared for all that comes along. These young girls fell through the cracks. And I think the single moms you are generalizing about are younger mothers. I only know one girl with multiple baby daddies. She has 3 girls all from different fathers. All within 5 yrs I think. Anyway who am i to judge her? Was she irresponsible? Yes. Did she get funding and go back to school yes.

Who cares if a single mother needs to be on welfare and use funding to go back to school if it makes her life better and that of her childs so be it.
I'm paying for upgrading my education on my own. I have a friend that has her BA and she's on welfare right now and she doesn't have a child.The economy stinks right now maybe why so many people are cranky and feel the need to lash out at others.

Why do you care what other people think about you? You know ur not one of those "single mothers" that abuses welfare system which is a good thing. But i honestly don't think single mothers are getting rich living off welfare.

I can openly admit that I'm going to have more than 1 baby daddy and I don't care what anyone thinks of me because I'm a wonderful mother and I want more children and I can afford more children.
 Tomau
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 119
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:07:47 PM

Who cares if a single mother needs to be on welfare and use funding to go back to school if it makes her life better and that of her childs so be it.


thats the key, you are making your life better not out having more kids dumping them in daycare so you can sit at home. Glad you enjoy helping pay for those that didn't learn the first 5x and continue on to number 8. Guess some will only notice when they are told no room for your child in daycare because its filled up with SAHM with 8 kids... if they are going to have them and sit at home and do nothing to better themselves then they can also sit at home and look after their children without taking up spaces that those who wish to better themselves in life can use.

Daycare and the government shouldn't be used so they can go get knocked up 3 months after the last baby was born with yet the new guy they just met kid.
 Tomau
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 120
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:09:35 PM
I have no sympathy for the ones in the examples all 3 I know whine about how tough it is, yet they put themselves in that situation it was no one else's doing.
 ValkyrieHJR
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 121
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 3:52:49 PM
You know HPotters, I am halfway of the opinion that you come into threads and say something like that just to start trouble.
 hannity
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 122
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 7:32:21 PM
I don't know what town/planet you guys grew up on, but where I'm from there were several large families and you could tell what family any given kid was from by their family resemblance. You could take one look at a kid and say, "He's a Hampton".

A child is most likely to resemble its father. This stems from found evidence that infants tended to resemble their fathers more than they resembled their mothers because their paternity would be less likely to be doubted. The man and others would know that the kid is most likely his. So nature, from its beginning, found a way to prevent men from becoming DUPED DADS, and preventing children to be less likely abandoned by their fathers, because their paternity would be less likely to be doubted. Once you people realize that there is something out there bigger than all of us (The Universe), this will be easier for you to understand. Women don't just get to sleep around and name a father without fearing any reprecussions. Society can't catch everything so we need to rely on a greater power to catch wicked women who try to put their kids off on other men who are not the dads and cruel people in general.

So if you guys are having broods of children, or know people who are having broods of children who don't look alike, I say, "If there was no DNA test, then you don't know who the father is YET!".
 RLFish
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 123
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 9:01:38 PM

and for those who seem to have trouble quoting.... it is


I actually know all of the HTML coding on Plentyoffish...mine was converted for some reason, when I edited my post for a typo. LOL See all my pretty HTML on my party thread! Even COLORS and Scrolling Marquees...wee!

OK...so in explaining your situation...you were extremely defensive. I think you still missed the point...and that is, it is VERY EASY to be judgmental and make assumptions about someone. Maybe welfare is not paying for your kids now, but some people would view not having your child as far worse than accepting welfare. (You have NEVER needed food stamps? State medicaid? School lunch program?? ALL are social programs!) Oops...I see where you said you HAVE received such! How do you know how long a person has been on it, to judge them? I mean, I know in Missouri, there is a MAX CAP of 5 years, NO EXCEPTIONS. That means you may need it for 6 months, or you may need it for 4 years...but once you have reached 60 months TOTAL, you are DONE.

I was not trying to put you in the spotlight...I was simply trying to make you understand empathy. It's not YOU versus these OTHERS.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 124
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 9:24:01 PM
Harsh but true Soul lady, and i do love you. The chica wasnt wanted by her baby-daddy so feels a need to lash out.
Good thing for "fixing" (what are we dogs here).
 Tomau
Joined: 5/9/2009
Msg: 125
Multiple children by multiple partners
Posted: 11/11/2009 9:38:13 PM
I left him, he didnt leave me and had I not left I'm sure he would have just kept doing what he was... he wanted the family at home but wanted the others as well.
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