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 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 111
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Whats it like being single over 30?Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I'm totally content being single and over 30. This doesn't mean that I don't have room for that special someone in my life. But if it doesn't happen...well that's fine too. The last few years have allowed me to rebuild, and rediscover who I am and what I desire out of life. I have a wonderful son that lives with me, a nice home, a business I building, and I've returned to graduate school. I'd say being single has made me pretty awesome. And I still manage to go out and have a few dates. Just nothing serious has clicked yet, but gotta keep stepping to the plate right? So, all and all being single isn't a curse at all. The only thing (here) that is a draw-back is the interesting intelligent women are too often far away either in another state out of driving distance or worse yet another country. Oh well can't win 'em all.
 jeffnovi
Joined: 12/5/2009
Msg: 119
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 12/16/2009 8:04:18 PM
I am fine being single, it is a simpler way of life. I do get lonely every now and then, but as whole I find it is way less stressful than being in a less than good relationship. That being said, I would love to find that "one" that floats my boat.
 upper_west_side
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 120
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Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 12/17/2009 9:10:09 AM
It's misery. Pure and simple misery. I was single all the way through my teens... met and dated quite a few women through my 20s but never had a relationship longer than a year, and now I'm 31 I'm panicking like there's no tomorrow that I've missed the boat and I'm going to be alone and lonely forever.

HOWEVER, I'm looking for the RIGHT person, and while I detest being single with a passion, I'd rather that than be with the wrong person.

It just seems the "right" person is missing in action....
 Needin_Luvin
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 123
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 12/17/2009 3:08:49 PM
Worse, LOL! ...No really, it's worse. I have been in a few long term relationships, and although they may not have been with the right woman, I at least had sex daily and there was company around. I do not miss the mood swings, the jealousy, insecurity, lies, and the fighting. I left that crap behind for 3 years until I cleared out the junk from my head. Now, I want a wife again. So, being single after 30 may have freedom, maybe more than you want, but it still isn't as good as having a partner. :)
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 126
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 12/20/2009 2:33:15 PM
What do you mean by single? As in not married, or not in serious relationship? I'll assume not in serious relationship...

My answer? Kind of an odd question to be readily answered by those who are lonely and depressed about it, or just newly-single and "hell yes!" about it. I fall into neither category, so for me, I would just ask, "What's it like being taken over 30?" or "What's it like being over 30?" lol

My thoughts have always been that a long-term, serious relationship is not something you look for when single. That's something you look for when you're already dating someone and it's developing. Think about it. If you're seriously like "I miss being in love, I want to find someone and fall in love again", and that really affects you, then you're more in love with being in love than anything else. I don't think that's healthy -- although it is at least SOMETHING to motivate ya to get out there and make yourself available, right? I think it's playing with fire, because it allows you to find the wrong match, because the match isn't what it's about (beyond the completely obvious), it's just about someone you can fall for -- which isn't necessarily a good match.

Me? I do see the grass being greener on this side of the fence, heck yes. When I am with someone in a good relationship, that grass is greener. Another lawn would be another relationship that wasn't so great, and that grass is worse. There's not two lawns, single & taken. There's many lawns of different lifestyles, different levels of single (taken, serious relationship, engaged, married, etc), and different PEOPLE you've been with which dictate how green or brown that grass is.
 468jeffery
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 128
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 12/25/2009 5:38:51 PM
I am 36 and only single about six months.I have adjusted but it is alot different than 23.I don't have any kids and after being in a LTR with someone who had three I am not looking to repeat the drama thing.I seem to find alot of women who have little income,smoke,3-4 kids,and don't take care of themselves.I would rather be single than settle.I guess it's the curse of small town USA.
 AngelaB30
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 129
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/12/2012 3:41:29 PM
You can never think that what's wrong with me or what have I done..im 30 never married no kids my goal in life was to make something for myself I wanted a job in the "man" world or as they tell me at work I guess they can let me in the big boys club..there is nothing wrong with who u choose to become in life or who you want to be as long as you don't have regrets
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 130
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Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:27:41 AM
Peaceful, simple... relaxed

But I already did the married/kids thing. Twice.

It bothers me when those of us who choose to be single (or even just not to co-habitate) are looked at as some sort of unnatural freak. It's a viable choice.

I also don't believe one needs to have children to live a fulfilled life. Get to know who you really are and go from there.
 ElGuero77
Joined: 7/26/2011
Msg: 131
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/13/2012 11:57:22 AM
I agree Raverstar66. I don't have any children and I'm not sure that I want any. I like kids just fine but I also enjoy the freedom and financial stability that I have and not sure if I want to give that up. I limit my dating pool because I choose not to date women with multiple children and generally prefer women without any children.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 133
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Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/16/2012 12:08:46 AM
I have more money.
I can travel more.
I no longer fear being single.
Married people are jealous of me and my freedom --especially when I can take off to foreign lands on a whim while they slog through yet one more year of the same old routine as last year.
I no longer fear death. Death comes to us all. I'll probably die an old man wrestling a polar bear while some poor schmuck will just sit and watch his life dribble away on some comfy hospice bed on a catheter.
I'm no longer as brainwashed about religion as I was in my 20's.
I am more tolerant and patient.
I am no longer bored.
I am more adventurous.
I know what I want.
30's is when I became whole.






 DO865
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 134
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/16/2012 12:29:02 AM
I havent been single since my earlt 20s, this is all new to me. around here most people go to bars to find women, I met my ex in a bar, and sometimes wish I would have never met her. I am done with the bar scene and imagine its going to be difficult to find a nice honest woman on a websight. It appears that finding a good woman may be difficult, even so Ill give this a try.
 ElGuero77
Joined: 7/26/2011
Msg: 135
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/16/2012 8:42:53 AM
Your odds of a finding a "good woman" are just as good on a website as they are anywhere else.
 EMunchy2010
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 136
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/16/2012 11:35:02 AM
I'm over thirty and i get compliments for looking younger than my age. I don't go down the self pity path because I like independance although I want to meat someone promising.

Yes, I know I sound like a patient guy and I probably am. I indulge in the moment of freedom and explore the world around me. Still, no girlfriend or relationship could lead to bordom w/o experiences of real social interactivity.

All things have two side prespectives. You need to suck up the bad with the good and vise-versa. I'm not tied down to meeting people but I need to also think of settling down and forming a bond with someone someday or life is meaningless.

Good luck to all you single people over 30!
 Honestlyaniceguy
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 137
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/16/2012 5:56:05 PM
Well for me, being a single father with full custody of my son it's very hard to meet a woman. Basically it sucks.... I find that the older "we" get the more difficult it gets to meet a person worth putting the time and effort in, speaking only for myself anyways. I'm not one to "hit on" a woman... heck.. I don't think I remember how to lol. I don't go to bars or clubs due to the fact I don't drink so where does a man go to meet a woman? It seems that the older we get the less trust we have and probably for good reasons but for the people who are honest and want to have a relationship it's difficult. Only my opinion.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 138
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/17/2012 12:35:28 AM
What is it like to be a single man over thirty?

Pretty frickin' excellent I'd say.

I'm living alone for the first time in my entire life and I am loving it! I can sleep anytime I want, eat or not eat as I decide, come and go without ever having to try to read somebody's mind, I can have friends again and the best part of all is that I get to spend time with my daughter and discuss things with her that I never could while I was married. My money gets put towards the necessities and trying to save a bit for my daughter's education. I live a simple life and all told, I'm doing pretty well.

When I was single and under thirty, it was brutal. Loneliness, over-thinking things, trying to "prove" something to myself and others, it was harsh. I filled journal upon journal with endless, whining rants about unrequited love and all that bullshit. Wasted time and passion.

Now I have the life experience and self-confidence to be able to enjoy solitude while I have it. I break up the routine by dating fascinating women. What's not to love about being single and over thirty. I feel like I have arrived and it's time to work on enjoying life.
 filt2
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 139
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/17/2012 2:48:55 AM
Liberating and yet lonely..

I can do what I want when I want but without a witness to share it with, seems lonely!
 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 141
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 1/18/2012 8:39:11 PM
I was 30 when I divorced my husband - and singledom was fantastic. I really enjoyed being single, as was until I met my ex-partner when I was 53. I was with him until I was 57. I'm single again and loving it. Some of us really prefer to be single; some are terrified of being single and will hitch up with people with whom they have very little in common. Some, of course, get together with partners and everything is fine.
You have to be comfortable in your own skin to enjoy being single and be perfectly happy going against much of society's preoccupation with people having marriages. If, you're like me, you simply enjoy life, going out with others, having sex, and then retiring to your own bed.
 cramer78
Joined: 2/16/2013
Msg: 142
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 3/20/2013 4:45:40 AM
I am going to be sarcastic here because it's all i've got.
I LOVE comming home to an empty apartment where noone is home other than my stuffed platypus my 5 year old cousin gave me. I ADORE having noone to talk to because all my friends are either married with children or live in other states with wierd time zones. I LOVE going to work and hearing about everyones children and how adorable they are. I can't wait to hear my mother complain about how I do not have a relationship and how she will die without being a grandmother. Family dinners are a blast when all my relatives are their with their S/O and i show up half asleep and stag after just getting home from work for a quick bite to eat and to let everyone know that "ol cosmo" is still alive. and last but not least I REALLY dig not getting any phone calls for weeks on end and my battery dies from just not being on the charger because i want to keep it close to me in case someone does call. that to me is being 34 and single.
 LoveBeautifulDays
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 144
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 3/20/2013 1:07:41 PM
use the time to grow, I know I am! daily
 buterfly41978
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 145
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 3/22/2013 3:55:28 PM
Honestly, it is great. I can decorate my house any way I see fit, have as many pair of shoes as I want without anyone bugging me.. I can come and go as I please, read in bed with the light on, and leave dirty dishes in the sink for the evening if I don't feel like dealing with it!

The only negative is not having the second income while trying to raise kids... But I would rather live on a budget than live unhappy :)
 A_Intersect_B
Joined: 3/11/2013
Msg: 146
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 3/22/2013 5:51:06 PM
That's funny cramer78, I don't even have a phone.

It seems you and I are of the same mindset. By the way, I like your sense of humour.
 lostcausein
Joined: 3/16/2013
Msg: 147
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 3/22/2013 5:55:46 PM
It sucks !

I'm too old to go to night clubs, pubs are full of dregs and join a club or volunteer work to meet someone ? No thanks. So here I am where only old ladies respond to me and the younger attractive women act like I'm invisible.

Thank God there's alcohol and food or I'd call it quits.

...oh yeah, and I have a very good imagination to get myself off but I'd rather have a meaningful relationship.
 SillyAdventurer
Joined: 3/5/2013
Msg: 148
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 3/22/2013 6:26:09 PM
To be single over 30? It's with ups and downs. Not lonely, just enjoying life and interests alone. It's always more fun enjoying life with another by your side though...
 ARadicalPunk
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 149
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Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 3/23/2013 5:28:25 AM
A lot like being twenty-five OP, but I'm much wiser now, and I'm finally able to pursue my own interests, educate myself, and figure out what makes me tick, as opposed to figuring out another person's agenda, needs, and wants; so less dramatic all and all.
 kgibbs1234
Joined: 6/18/2012
Msg: 151
Whats it like being single over 30?
Posted: 3/23/2013 6:17:16 AM
The grass is always greener, right?

Did the marriage thing. Felt more alone during my marriage than I do now. Still, at 33, most of my friends are in relationships or have families. I love to explore the city, travel, attend concerts, yadda, yadda, yadda...but have a hard time dragging people away from their families. (I have great friends that are supportive, funny, and loyal...they just have families of their own). I have recently come to the conclusion that I need to move to the city. The suburbs are not the place to be if you are a single 33 year old female with no kids.

I like the freedom. I love not having to answer to anyone. At the same time, it would be nice to have someone to lean on, and to lean on me in return. I miss being part of a team. It gets old, considering no one but yourself.

Oh, and I miss regular sex. (Yes, I know I could get it, but it comes with a lot more risks-both physical and emotional).
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