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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 28
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I have to leave age open now as a moderator so anyone can contact me and honestly the gal I am set to meet today or tomorrow from here could not of contacted me before when I had age restrictions so I support what your saying. She would not of been able to contact me and she made first contact and seems like an awesome lady.


Well, Cowboy, under the new POF search guidelines, if you had had age restrictions, she would not have even seen your profile! True. No one can view any profile that restricts them. Used to be couldn't contact that person, but at least they did get to see who viewed them and perhaps added them as a favorite, and perhaps... be the one to write. Now, however, that is no longer available to us.

OP, I find no fault with age preferences and only hope the "disproportionate" ones are successful before they have go to The Home, otherwise wasting a whole life "wishing" .
If, a man or woman has age preferences, that is what they want and all the posts in the world are not going to change their ideal and now under the new search guidelines, it's a mute point.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 29
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 4/28/2011 9:19:00 AM
What I think is that, there are so many things that enter into one finding a person who is compatible, that this should not be of concern.
I will admit when I first came across this it made me laugh, because I consider this fantasy, if a person can find someone 10-15 years younger well more power to you, BUT THEN WHAT??????????
If you are looking to just date it shouldn't matter one way or the other.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 30
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 4/28/2011 10:38:47 AM

I will admit when I first came across this it made me laugh, because I consider this fantasy, if a person can find someone 10-15 years younger well more power to you, BUT THEN WHAT??????????


I married her and started a family..
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 31
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 4/28/2011 11:29:56 AM

It annoys me when I am contacted by men whose age ranges only include women younger than themselves. I often get contacted by guys significantly older than myself whose cutoff is an age much younger than themselves. Quite frankly, my reaction to that is, "Jerk." Apparently they expect a woman to put up with conditions that they themselves would not accept.


When my profile wasn't hidden I'd get that once in awhile. I don't think "jerk", but I'd think it would be foolish of me to consider the guy because it was obvious that I wasn't really what he wants. I'd just write back with "sorry, but I'm too old for you." One wrote back that I didn't look my age, but I just told him I was holding him to his preferences.


I've even seen a couple of profiles of women that lied about their age in their drop-down stats listing, and then later in the body of their profile they stated.

"I am actually 45, not 37, because I usually look young for my age, and most younger men look my age anyhow" (I paraphrased, but you know what I mean).


I've seen that kind of thing too, but I've yet to see the person that really did look younger.

If people are looking older or younger it isn't my business unless they contact me. After all we all have preferences - even us old, fat broads.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 32
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 4/28/2011 4:25:00 PM
When my profile wasn't hidden I'd get that once in awhile. I don't think "jerk", but I'd think it would be foolish of me to consider the guy because it was obvious that I wasn't really what he wants. I'd just write back with "sorry, but I'm too old for you." One wrote back that I didn't look my age, but I just told him I was holding him to his preferences.


I've done the exact same thing---but only with men I wouldn't have been interested in dating anyway. I was once contacted by a nice-looking doctor who was in his late fifties, yet he set his age range from 28 to 48.

He was accustomed to getting younger women because of his looks and profession. I told him I was too old for him, but that he might be interested in my beautiful blonde daughter. I was just kidding him, as I don't have a daughter. He thought that was pretty funny---and we did end up meeting!
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 34
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 4/29/2011 11:10:50 PM
^^^^ While it is becoming more acceptable there are still mean comments made about women dating younger men. Just be patient.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 36
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/1/2011 7:25:06 PM
lulz

I got a message today. Seemed cut and paste but I decided to check out the profile anyway.

First stop - age. Perfect - he is two years older than me. Very age appropriate.
Second stop - photos. Hmmmm he looks like the years have not been kind to him.
Third stop - profile. meh Not very well written and a lot of hokey romantic stuff which is not my cup of tea. But all in all not that bad.
Fourth stop - the little disclaimer on the bottom of his profile stating he is actually ten years older and mean ole POF won't let him change it.
Fifth stop - his email restrictions. Shocker his top age is the age he is pretending to be and his lowest age is 18.

In and of themselves I don't think it is a red flag. This guy is a shining beacon.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 37
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/1/2011 7:58:38 PM
^^^dayum...I'm been outed...
Yes, that daned POF won't let me change my age to my real age...and I'm too stupid to cancel this profile and resurrect myself to get my age correct.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 38
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/3/2011 7:57:08 PM

Likewise - with four children.


I knew there was a brother in arms somewher out here!!! Cherish what you have...don't forget to create romance...continue to work for perfection in the art of compromise...love your children with all your heart...because, we get no guarentee there will be a tomorrow.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 39
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/3/2011 9:22:31 PM
^^^^^^ 22 year difference here...... welcome brothers......
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 40
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/4/2011 8:42:33 AM

Wow. That would make her...67? Let me guess, you’re after her social security.
No, actually it makes her about to turn 23!
 Jersey125
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 41
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/4/2011 8:57:15 AM
Age range doesnt mean anything. Just because a man in his 30s or 40s has 18 - 40 as his select age range doesnt mean he's actively contacting women on the lower end of the scale (i.e. 18 years old) . It could be that if he's 30 and open dating someone who is 25, someone who is 24 and will be 25 in a few months could still contact him.

And even if he was 30 trying to contact an 18 years old, the 18 year old would have her age range set to block him anyway.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 42
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/4/2011 10:29:42 AM
Either you forgot to apply the “plus seven” part of the one-half-plus-seven “European” formula, or I didn’t get the memo.



No.... I didn't forget... You see that rule can only be applied ONE year...then it's off... So that rule will apply to US when I'm 59!


Oh yeah...her son will be 18 and she'll be 36.....seems like perfect timing to me....
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/7/2011 11:13:56 PM
^^^^^
I was recently engaged in a conversation with a woman 8 years older than myself, but she eventually backed out on meeting me (I have "dating" as my intent, she is looking for "long term".) I truly do try to treat this as I would meeting in real life. My criteria is not based on any arbitrary number, it is purely based on when I see you, or your picture, do I want to hold your hand, touch your face, kiss your lips, .......
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 1:03:49 AM
I'm not bothered about other peoples' age ranges. So long as they're both consenting adults, then I don't really see the problem.
I have a friend at uni who has a 10 year age gap in her relationship (he's the older one), while she's 20 - but I can see how happy they are together.

Personally, I can't see myself in a relationship with a significant age gap. (My current SO is the same age as me.) If he's much older than me, I can't get my head past the "daddy" thing. As for younger... I'm only 21. While it might be *legal* for me to go out with a 16-year-old, I doubt that I *would*.

I'm not saying that it's set in stone. Who knows, in the future I could end up in a relationship with a huge age gap. I'm not ruling the possibility out entirely... just saying that, *for now*, I don't see it happening. (I am currently in a relationship, after all.) :)
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 47
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 6:07:54 AM

There is a double standard. Most men will not consider dating women older than themselves, definitely not 15 or 20 years older, but these same men think it is perfectly natural for them to date women that much younger and for the women to want to date them.

It's called a preferrence. It's no different than women who expect guys to be taller (often much taller) than they are. It would only be a double standard if those same guys thought there was something wrong with women dating younger guys. Not every guy who prefers younger women objects to women who prefer younger men.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 48
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 11:58:03 AM
^^^^^ I'm not sure what point you're saying is illogical or a double standard. You pointed to Abelian's statement above but either he totally edited it after your post or you didn't read/understand it.
 tatjana25
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 49
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 2:25:48 PM
such a red flag.

If you're 47 and your age range is like 20-35 (there are a LOT of you on here) then you're sooooooo delusional. :)
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 50
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 2:46:13 PM
You are making a false analogy.

Age is preference. Deal with it.

The comparison is not logical. Prefering someone who is tall, short, fat, thin, etc. is not the same as having a contrasting, contradictory belief that younger women should want to and think it is natural to date much older men, while at the same time believing that it is not natural for men to want to date much older women.

Your reading comprehension leaves a lot to be desired, since I never said any preference was ``natural'' nor did I ever say that women shouldn't date younger men, if that's what they want to do. Indeed, preferences are what they are. I prefer dating younger women. If other men want to date older women, that's great. It leaves more younger women for guys who want to date younger women.

I'm not sure what point you're saying is illogical or a double standard. You pointed to Abelian's statement above but either he totally edited it after your post or you didn't read/understand it.

I didn't edit it. She just reads selectively.

If you're 47 and your age range is like 20-35 (there are a LOT of you on here) then you're sooooooo delusional. :)

I believe my profile stated 25-39. Most of the women I dated were in the 33-38 age range. One was 27. I declined to meet a woman who was 22, mainly because after talking to her on the phone, I didn't really think it would be a good idea. However, she was the very first woman to ever favorite me and we still swap messages here. Not so delusional. Just because the age difference doesn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for lots of other women.

 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 51
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 2:48:41 PM
I don't know...something about a person who won't consider someone their own age (in either direction), or won't consider a person one year older or younger but has a huge range in the opposite direction is just odd to me. It's like controlling, or self denial, or something to me.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 52
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 3:12:34 PM
^^^^I won't consider men ONLINE more than a year or two from my own age. I'm definitely NOT delusional, but I am accutely aware that 49 "net-years" generally means 54+ years in the offline world. That? I have no interest in. I'm still in my 40s. I want to meet someone still in his 40s. When I'm 50, if I'm still single? I'll join AARP and call it a day. By then I won't care how old "he" is because all that I will be searching for by then is a cabana boy to bring me majitos. Wait, maybe that's all I'm looking for now ~ hmmm. To each their own. I'm not interested in those much younger, and not those much older ~ I know what works for me and what works are those VERY near my own age. JMO
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 53
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 3:34:21 PM
I was talking with some gal friends last night, they had done a Friday Girls Night Out the night before. They both said one of the other women, who was 57, was compaining about her husband of 15 years, he's 81. 81 is my Dad's age. This gal apparently didn't like the fact that he was slowing down, didn't want to travel, couldn't have sex, just wanted to stay home and watch tv. He's 81 for crying out loud. Why didn't she think of this before she married him - he's always been 24 years older than her.

Another couple I know, she was 36 and he was 60. Move forward 10 years. Same thing as above, she was ready to cha cha and he's ready to retire down south. They are both shopping for divorce lawyers. Not like they weren't aware of the age difference, they lived together for 5 years before they got married.

When you marry/live with/go out with your father, mother, son or daughter - you will have problems. Sure, someone 20 years younger looks nice on your arm...but wait for reality.

I want someone close to my age, someone who remembers when the Beatles were on the Ed Sullivan show, someone that will grow with me as well as age with me.

If I see a guy my age who has on his profile he's looking for 15 or 20 years younger, I think "idiot" and move on. Reality will hit these guys right in the nuts when they are least expecting it. The same goes for women.
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 54
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 3:59:22 PM
If "disproportionate" age ranges requirements is a red flag, then why does PoF tempt men with ads for websites claiming to specialize in young women looking for older men? Surely PoF wouldn't be doing that if the ages were "disproportionate" or a "red flag", unless you mean waving a red flag in front of us wild randy old bulls?
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 55
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 4:35:01 PM

Another couple I know, she was 36 and he was 60. Move forward 10 years. Same thing as above, she was ready to cha cha and he's ready to retire down south. They are both shopping for divorce lawyers.

Is she hot???

When I see a woman's profile that has age limits that scream she's looking to date her son...and of course there's always the line..."people say I look younger than my age."...my first thought are-"people are lying to you"...and then I laugh..and think...well, she's not for me...and I move on...I'm not her cuppa...and she's certianly not mine.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/8/2011 5:36:58 PM
Meh, I don't give a fig if some AZZES judge me as a shallow and not very sophisticated, because I don't comform to their way of thinking.. The questionair about men's age range in my profile that I answered 45 to 99 prefered is my way of thinking.... And I don't owe anyone any explanation why I want a younger man than me or older man than me..
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