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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?      Home login  
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 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 57
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Yes, the sexy 53 year old looks pretty good to a 30 year old right now but doesn't anybody think about what happens in 15 years or 25 years. Geez, maybe that's why the friggin divorce rate is so high, just get that pretty diamond ring and worry about the other stuff later (like reality) - tomorrow is just another day.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 59
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/9/2011 8:53:53 AM
Being 34 I'm at the age that attracts early 20's and late 30's...its funny there is only one or two women, my age less than 2 years either way, that I find very attractive and would date, let me also add that are currently single...

I'm only 6 years away from being 40, I've only had one serious relationship that ended with the g/f cheating on me...Never knocked anyone up, never been one to have one-night stands...so I wonder if some women think I am jaded just because of these things...

I don't necessary see it as a red flag when someone puts a wide age range of potential matches but I do see it as one if its like 15 years one way and only 2 years the other...if its +/- 5, 7, heck even 10 years both ways then the person wants to keep their options open...

For me in my area like I said its hard finding someone less than 2 years either way that I'm attracted to that is single. So yes my search function is as low as 25 and as high as 45 on here...IRL if I'm attracted and I don't see that ring on the certain finger I will flirt with her, unless she is with a guy...

Best of luck to everyone
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 60
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/9/2011 10:17:07 AM
My girlfriend's sister is 23 and recently started a relationship with a 41-year-old man. When I heard about it, I thought it was pretty creepy, too, especially since she has a long string of bad relationships in her past.

So when I first met the guy, I was a little uncomfortable. I actually *wanted* to not like him, but despite that I found him to be a perfectly charming individual and, as it turns out, they're a fantastic match for each other. And I consider the guy a great friend now.
 Jersey125
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 61
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/9/2011 2:34:33 PM

I think men who deride women for dating younger men and call them "cougars" are just p1ssed off because they've been rejected as too old.


Actually everyone use the term "Cougar". Matter of fact there is a show in ABC called "Cougartown".
 Jersey125
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 62
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/9/2011 3:43:39 PM
So after YEARS of calling men pigs, dogs, and players etc...people want to make a big deal of the word cougar.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 63
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/9/2011 3:52:53 PM
I'm okay with the word "cougar", it's better than the other C word.

But just because I don't mind the word cougar it doesn't mean I am a cougar. I'll stick to my own age. But I do agree with Jersey, don't call a man a pig, or dogs, etc. if you whine about the word cougar. And in fairness, women have been called pigs too.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 64
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/9/2011 5:01:02 PM

men age like wine.

And some just age, others just whine.
IMO, anything disproportionate, discrepant, dissonant on profile information, requirements, filters, should be kept in mind when considering involvement with someone. As to what ages other people choose to date, I'd think that would be their business . The only way anybody's going to believe that something isn't likely to work,is to try it and find out first-hand that it's not gonna work. And there doesn't seem to be a set-in-stone criteria of what actually constitutes "works".
Cindy O
 Jersey125
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 65
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/9/2011 5:29:58 PM
Actually I dont think the word "Cougar" is a derogatory term. It's much ado about nothing. I was pointing the hypocrisy of a woman getting bent out if shape by the word cougar being used all the while men have been called dogs and pigs for years.

The reality is men dont get bent out shape by being called a dog. Now let a man call a female the b word at work (or in general) and let's see what happens.

There's a show "Cougartown" and a dating site called Cougardating. If the word was so derogatory I doubt it would be used for anationally aired tv show.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 66
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/9/2011 5:44:59 PM
Cougar, dog, player, dirty old man are all deragatory terms....color them any way you want...deragatory is what they are...put it on national tv...so it sells...it's still derogatory.


Still...to each their own...wouldn't be my cuppa looking for a woman my daughters age...but...that's just me.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 67
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/10/2011 7:26:59 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Cougars is not derogatory, it is a label for these filty rich singles /or married older sexy women who dressed up to the nines and love to party and have a *good time * (wink) with younger guys , and expenses are on them...

Meh, I would rather spend my money on myself , for cosmetic surgeries tuck in here and there ,enhance the droopy boobsie and become a Purring Kitten and prey older guys ,,,,,,,,,,,than a cougar...
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 68
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:37:48 PM
I just clipped this off someone's profile:

disclaimer: for some reason this website has my age wrong and i can not change it.
i am actually 50 but hey, it's just a number, right?


The problem is that lines been there since the woman was 44...2 years ago....she's now 46...and the picture is still the same...
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 69
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/15/2011 1:23:58 PM
Everyone wants to be younger in their profile. People lie everyday about their age. And I catch them everyday when they lie. For me, I am proud of my age. I am 50. This just means I've taken care of myself, and look good for my age. I am also more experienced in life, and have more wisdom. This means I have seen all the tricks in the book, and out of it.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 70
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/15/2011 3:19:51 PM

And for fun I checked out some of my competitors profiles to see if men in their early 40s were preferring younger women. That was educational to say the least. Some were down right funny.



Imagine what the guys thought when they checked their who viewed me, and saw you looking at their profile. Only Joking. I've been guilty of it, but I've had a female friend use her account. I have no phobia's I am aware of. I say love the one your with.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 71
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/15/2011 6:25:08 PM
^^^^^ I don't think it shows when same sex people view each others profiles..... I may be wrong though...I check profiles of anyone I'm responding to in the forums.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 72
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/15/2011 6:31:24 PM
I don't think when same sex view each other's profile, it doesn't show.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 73
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/15/2011 6:32:32 PM

^^^^^ I don't think it shows when same sex people view each others profiles..... I may be wrong though...I check profiles of anyone I'm responding to in the forums.


You are correct. It doesn't show. :)
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 74
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/16/2011 4:38:05 PM

My criteria is not based on any arbitrary number, it is purely based on when I see you, or your picture...


I agree. Some people merit a higher degree of flexibility than others based on criteria having nothing to do with age.


I also agree-seeking out someone solely based on a number means you just want to date a number. I think most would like to have a relationship someone who's at around the same place in life as them. You can keep your ranges open and filter people based on their personalities ,activities and interests with an email exchange. But absolutely needing to filter out those your age and older certainly smacks of a little vainty unless your just overwhelmed by email from that particular group.
 LoveHelper143
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 75
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/17/2011 6:16:11 AM
It wouldn't be a red flag to me. People want what they think they want. I have more things to worry about in life than to wonder what some dude I don't know and will never meet age ranges.

Many of the ppl with outrageous age requirements will be single for a long time..lol. Like a 50 yrs old wanting women age 20-30yrs old. Unless he's rich, I say dream the hell on. It's obvious that if they are online looking they have exhausted all methods of meeting/dating the age range they want offline.

If it didn't work off line it probably won't work online. More power to those delusional ppl!
 LoveHelper143
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 76
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/17/2011 6:18:54 AM
Ha! I agree.

Wow..messages this long will not be posted. Really??
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 77
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/17/2011 6:24:30 AM

Like a 50 yrs old wanting women age 20-30yrs old. Unless he's rich, I say dream the hell on. It's obvious that if they are online looking they have exhausted all methods of meeting/dating the age range they want offline.



There we go with the MYTH again.... why do women think the only reason a 20-30 year old woman would want a 40-50 year old man is for money?


I hate to break it to you.... but there's plenty of examples to the contrary...they just don't make the headlines...
 lilly2020klp
Joined: 10/10/2010
Msg: 79
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/20/2011 2:12:14 PM
I don't mean to be rude or offend offend anyone and there are always exceptions to any rule but it's been my experience that men who are dead set on a younger female seem to be more imature and on ego trips. It's also been my experience that when their open to a few years older than themselves they seem more intelligent with more insight....I'm very attracted to these types.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 80
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/20/2011 2:15:29 PM

it's been my experience that men who are dead set on a younger female seem to be more imature and on ego trips.


Yea, it's been my experience that women who seek much younger men are narssisitic, vane, egotistical women...but, I don't mean to be mean.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 81
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/20/2011 3:04:39 PM
When I first started uni, aged 19 and high on the freedom of being able to do as I pleased, I replied to an email on here from an older man (mid-late 30s). In the end, we didn't meet up... and looking back on it now, I'm glad we didn't.
He had a ten year old son, who he wanted me to meet; he had a whole load of life experiences that I still haven't had... things like that freaked me out. I'm still young, inexperienced, immature, etc, with no idea what I want to do with my life. Yeah, he claimed to be young for his age, that he was nicknamed "Peter Pan"... but, aaargh. The whole "daddy" thing is an issue for me too. He also wanted long term, and to basically settle down... while in my head that sounded sweet and romantic 2 years ago (I'm now 21), it's not the best thing for me personally at this point in my life. Looking back on it, I don't think it would have worked - we were, and are, at completely differently stages of life.
After that, I changed my age restrictions on here. At 20, I moved it to 18-25.

I'm not against relationships with large age gaps... for some people they can work; consenting adults, etc etc. (I once heard of a 70-something year old person being in a relationship with someone who was in their early 100s.) It's just not for me, at least at this stage in my life. I know people with huge age gaps who have great relationships, and people the same age who can't make it work.

(Fortunately, I have since met my current boyfriend, who happens to be my own age, and who I feel I have more in common with.) :)
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 83
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/29/2011 11:55:18 AM

I don't find men attractive over a certain age.



And what will you say when you hit that age range? The sword is double edged. One day you will be singing another tune. I've dated a woman who was ten years younger than me. It worked for 6 years, but all good things come to an end. If things didn't end badly, then they would never of ended!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 84
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/30/2011 6:34:11 AM


I think that weather a man goes for younger or older says absoultely nothing about his character, simply his preferences. And some men might be willing to go either way and not even have a set preference, just depending on the individual woman.


Some very wise words here, I think. I do not have hard and fast rules about age, I will approach any woman who looks attractive to me. I find that women are much less concerned about age when I meet them IRL than here on POF.
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