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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 64
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

men age like wine.

And some just age, others just whine.
IMO, anything disproportionate, discrepant, dissonant on profile information, requirements, filters, should be kept in mind when considering involvement with someone. As to what ages other people choose to date, I'd think that would be their business . The only way anybody's going to believe that something isn't likely to work,is to try it and find out first-hand that it's not gonna work. And there doesn't seem to be a set-in-stone criteria of what actually constitutes "works".
Cindy O
 Jersey125
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 65
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/9/2011 5:29:58 PM
Actually I dont think the word "Cougar" is a derogatory term. It's much ado about nothing. I was pointing the hypocrisy of a woman getting bent out if shape by the word cougar being used all the while men have been called dogs and pigs for years.

The reality is men dont get bent out shape by being called a dog. Now let a man call a female the b word at work (or in general) and let's see what happens.

There's a show "Cougartown" and a dating site called Cougardating. If the word was so derogatory I doubt it would be used for anationally aired tv show.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 66
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/9/2011 5:44:59 PM
Cougar, dog, player, dirty old man are all deragatory terms....color them any way you want...deragatory is what they are...put it on national tv...so it sells...it's still derogatory.


Still...to each their own...wouldn't be my cuppa looking for a woman my daughters age...but...that's just me.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 67
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/10/2011 7:26:59 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Cougars is not derogatory, it is a label for these filty rich singles /or married older sexy women who dressed up to the nines and love to party and have a *good time * (wink) with younger guys , and expenses are on them...

Meh, I would rather spend my money on myself , for cosmetic surgeries tuck in here and there ,enhance the droopy boobsie and become a Purring Kitten and prey older guys ,,,,,,,,,,,than a cougar...
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 68
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:37:48 PM
I just clipped this off someone's profile:

disclaimer: for some reason this website has my age wrong and i can not change it.
i am actually 50 but hey, it's just a number, right?


The problem is that lines been there since the woman was 44...2 years ago....she's now 46...and the picture is still the same...
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 69
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/15/2011 1:23:58 PM
Everyone wants to be younger in their profile. People lie everyday about their age. And I catch them everyday when they lie. For me, I am proud of my age. I am 50. This just means I've taken care of myself, and look good for my age. I am also more experienced in life, and have more wisdom. This means I have seen all the tricks in the book, and out of it.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 70
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/15/2011 3:19:51 PM

And for fun I checked out some of my competitors profiles to see if men in their early 40s were preferring younger women. That was educational to say the least. Some were down right funny.



Imagine what the guys thought when they checked their who viewed me, and saw you looking at their profile. Only Joking. I've been guilty of it, but I've had a female friend use her account. I have no phobia's I am aware of. I say love the one your with.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 71
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/15/2011 6:25:08 PM
^^^^^ I don't think it shows when same sex people view each others profiles..... I may be wrong though...I check profiles of anyone I'm responding to in the forums.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 72
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/15/2011 6:31:24 PM
I don't think when same sex view each other's profile, it doesn't show.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 73
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/15/2011 6:32:32 PM

^^^^^ I don't think it shows when same sex people view each others profiles..... I may be wrong though...I check profiles of anyone I'm responding to in the forums.


You are correct. It doesn't show. :)
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 74
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/16/2011 4:38:05 PM

My criteria is not based on any arbitrary number, it is purely based on when I see you, or your picture...


I agree. Some people merit a higher degree of flexibility than others based on criteria having nothing to do with age.


I also agree-seeking out someone solely based on a number means you just want to date a number. I think most would like to have a relationship someone who's at around the same place in life as them. You can keep your ranges open and filter people based on their personalities ,activities and interests with an email exchange. But absolutely needing to filter out those your age and older certainly smacks of a little vainty unless your just overwhelmed by email from that particular group.
 LoveHelper143
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 75
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/17/2011 6:16:11 AM
It wouldn't be a red flag to me. People want what they think they want. I have more things to worry about in life than to wonder what some dude I don't know and will never meet age ranges.

Many of the ppl with outrageous age requirements will be single for a long time..lol. Like a 50 yrs old wanting women age 20-30yrs old. Unless he's rich, I say dream the hell on. It's obvious that if they are online looking they have exhausted all methods of meeting/dating the age range they want offline.

If it didn't work off line it probably won't work online. More power to those delusional ppl!
 LoveHelper143
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 76
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/17/2011 6:18:54 AM
Ha! I agree.

Wow..messages this long will not be posted. Really??
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 77
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/17/2011 6:24:30 AM

Like a 50 yrs old wanting women age 20-30yrs old. Unless he's rich, I say dream the hell on. It's obvious that if they are online looking they have exhausted all methods of meeting/dating the age range they want offline.



There we go with the MYTH again.... why do women think the only reason a 20-30 year old woman would want a 40-50 year old man is for money?


I hate to break it to you.... but there's plenty of examples to the contrary...they just don't make the headlines...
 lilly2020klp
Joined: 10/10/2010
Msg: 79
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/20/2011 2:12:14 PM
I don't mean to be rude or offend offend anyone and there are always exceptions to any rule but it's been my experience that men who are dead set on a younger female seem to be more imature and on ego trips. It's also been my experience that when their open to a few years older than themselves they seem more intelligent with more insight....I'm very attracted to these types.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 80
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/20/2011 2:15:29 PM

it's been my experience that men who are dead set on a younger female seem to be more imature and on ego trips.


Yea, it's been my experience that women who seek much younger men are narssisitic, vane, egotistical women...but, I don't mean to be mean.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 81
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/20/2011 3:04:39 PM
When I first started uni, aged 19 and high on the freedom of being able to do as I pleased, I replied to an email on here from an older man (mid-late 30s). In the end, we didn't meet up... and looking back on it now, I'm glad we didn't.
He had a ten year old son, who he wanted me to meet; he had a whole load of life experiences that I still haven't had... things like that freaked me out. I'm still young, inexperienced, immature, etc, with no idea what I want to do with my life. Yeah, he claimed to be young for his age, that he was nicknamed "Peter Pan"... but, aaargh. The whole "daddy" thing is an issue for me too. He also wanted long term, and to basically settle down... while in my head that sounded sweet and romantic 2 years ago (I'm now 21), it's not the best thing for me personally at this point in my life. Looking back on it, I don't think it would have worked - we were, and are, at completely differently stages of life.
After that, I changed my age restrictions on here. At 20, I moved it to 18-25.

I'm not against relationships with large age gaps... for some people they can work; consenting adults, etc etc. (I once heard of a 70-something year old person being in a relationship with someone who was in their early 100s.) It's just not for me, at least at this stage in my life. I know people with huge age gaps who have great relationships, and people the same age who can't make it work.

(Fortunately, I have since met my current boyfriend, who happens to be my own age, and who I feel I have more in common with.) :)
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 83
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/29/2011 11:55:18 AM

I don't find men attractive over a certain age.



And what will you say when you hit that age range? The sword is double edged. One day you will be singing another tune. I've dated a woman who was ten years younger than me. It worked for 6 years, but all good things come to an end. If things didn't end badly, then they would never of ended!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 84
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/30/2011 6:34:11 AM


I think that weather a man goes for younger or older says absoultely nothing about his character, simply his preferences. And some men might be willing to go either way and not even have a set preference, just depending on the individual woman.


Some very wise words here, I think. I do not have hard and fast rules about age, I will approach any woman who looks attractive to me. I find that women are much less concerned about age when I meet them IRL than here on POF.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 85
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/30/2011 4:06:43 PM
I don't think it's a "red flag" if one falls into the required age range - lol. If one is obsessed about another PoFer who is looking in a different age range than one's own...then if they are absolutely set on not going outside that range, just throw that fish back in and cast the line again, because they want what they want.

I am proud to say I am 52, and I tend to look for men 10 years in either direction although it depends on the individual. I have dated a man 15 years younger, and had an LTR with one 13 years older. Neither extreme appeals much to me. The much-older gentlemen tend to have physical problems that interfere with activities (not just in the bedroom) and you can call me a b*tch, but I already buried one otherwise healthy husband far too soon - I would like to have the odds in favor of a LONG long term relationship, should it get that far. On the other hand, the only bad sex I've ever had in my life was with the guy who was 15 years younger. Go figure.

 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 86
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/30/2011 4:43:44 PM
I have friends with 30 and more year age gaps in the relationship, and things have worked fine for many many years. I also have friends with 2 to 3 year age gaps and they are divorced or otherwise split. People have all kinds of opinions about the large age gap situations, but I can say that where those that I personally know are concerned, the stereotypes are not in play at all. There are some people for whom age is a consideration in their relationships, and others for whom it is not a consideration. That is the reality. Amateur psychology and stereotypes provide no reliable insight into these relationships at all.

The disparaging remarks about the motivations of the people involved are, to my mind, insulting to the people involved. In general, I think that most people would choose to be with someone more or less the same age when it comes to a life partner, but in reality, we are all in different physical and emotional conditions at any point in life, and its not clear that you will ever meet a match if you restrict yourself to a narrow range of ages.

As a man past reproductive interest, and who raised female children, I can certainly say that 20somethings, 30somethings and even 40somethings are not generally interesting to me simply because of their interest in reproduction. On the other hand, being in good shape and physically active to a more than average level, the number of compatible older females tends to be rather limited, and while they are out there, finding them is far from easy.

Basically, you end up with someone who you meet with whom you can sustain a lifestyle, and its fortuitous if they happen to be within a few years either way of your own age. Hence, I don't even ask when I find a match. What other people's opinions are is of no interest to me. Leave them to their own self justifications, because its not about me, its about them, and their own problems. I haven't got any.....
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 87
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/30/2011 5:47:48 PM
To me, the red flag would be when someone feels it's totally realistic to imagine someone who's 10-15-20 years younger then them finding them attractive and wanting to date them and it's going to work out great...but don't want to even consider dating someone who's even just a few years older than themselves. It's like they don't want to be judged themselves based on their numerical age...but they want to judge other people on their numerical age.


Totally agree!

But come-on folks, don't we beat this subject to death about every other week, month, year...?

Everyone wants to be younger in their profile. People lie everyday about their age. And I catch them everyday when they lie. For me, I am proud of my age. I am 50. This just means I've taken care of myself, and look good for my age. I am also more experienced in life, and have more wisdom. This means I have seen all the tricks in the book, and out of it.


UnixGrand -- take down your mirror for a minute and read my profile. (lol)



 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 88
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 5/30/2011 6:11:08 PM
Thing is, I could care less if someone choses to date down 10-15-20 years...it really means nothing to me...I just think next...

I'm more offended by the person who obviously is lying on her profile and is 10 years older than the profile age...and when she writes "I'm really X+, but POF won't let me change my age"...well, geeze...you shoulda waited till the meet n greet to tell me you're a liar.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 89
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Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 6/1/2011 6:39:29 PM

UnixGrand -- take down your mirror for a minute and read my profile.


I see you now. Both our birthday's are on the 4th of July. Now that is amazing. I'm hitting the old 51 this year. Ouch. But I'm loving every minute of it!
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 90
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 6/2/2011 1:02:57 PM
I'll be 87!

I don't want to date men my age or older
At night, they have to put their ears in a case, their eyes on the night stand, and their teeth in a cup. Not for me! Give me a sexy "younger man" any time. It ain't over, til it's over!

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