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 ShanaBanana78
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 478
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?Page 11 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Maffers:
I agree with you completley.. people can never love another person if they don't love themselves. I admit I am not perfect. It takes two to make it work and two to screw it up! I allowed myself to stay in an unhealthy relationship and tried to "save" him. I have learned a lot from my past failed relationships and have grown because of them. I do not want to change who I am as a person, but have faults that I could improve on. No one said relationships are easy but they should not be a battle either. All I can say is pretty much what you already did.. don't let a man or woman determine your happiness, create your own happiness and others will just intensify it!
 GodlyG
Joined: 8/14/2010
Msg: 480
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/25/2011 9:23:42 AM
The right person hasn't come along yet. I won't settle for anything less that what I want.

:)
 GodlyG
Joined: 8/14/2010
Msg: 481
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/25/2011 9:26:36 AM
@ womaninprogress
Agreed!
 me000000
Joined: 5/29/2011
Msg: 483
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/25/2011 12:30:34 PM
could be a million different reasons......you`d need to get to know him to know for sure.
 KIWI3nme
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 484
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/25/2011 6:15:24 PM
well this is becasue at 20 you are still finding yourself. You are still in FUN MODE and sometimes ( like me) the natural thing to do is marry the man you are with for 8 years. It ended up a wrong life partner, and now that im older, I can be smarter and wiser with my chioces now. I can really INVESTIGATE and get to know who im talking to, see them for who they are, and also talk to them on a more mature level than the me from 10 years ago. I think when you are 30-40 your perceptions on life are far different, maybe you have achieved some goals now, saw some of the world, made some awful misttakes, dumped some excess baggage, and NOW are finnaly ready to move on to the next phase of your life. The problem...

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are thousands of us out there, looking looking looking with little to no success. I have been approached by 30+ men who only want booty calls COME ON SERIUSLY?? You will end up being like charlie sheen on 2 1/2 men. A toxic bachelor for life.

There is nothing wrong with being 30+ and single. It means that now you are ready for the next phase, and are really WANTING to meet someone long term..LOL>> at least we all would like to hope so! If we stay true to what we want, are honest and open then im sure the magic will find us one day.
 bedelia7
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 485
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/25/2011 6:33:42 PM
The question is laughable. The person who posted the original question is looking to pigeon hole an entire group of people when they need to be looking inward instead of damning everyone else as "something is wrong with them". Typical victim mentality which makes the person asking the question in control of their mind/behavior...beware that mentality and that person...
 pofdude2003
Joined: 5/8/2009
Msg: 486
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/25/2011 8:01:05 PM
Character flaw? Possibly.

My character flaw is I'm too busy making money and trying to move up in my career.

That sounded really narcissitic, didnt it? Hehe. I guess I'm just in that mood.

I also have a daughter that needs to be supported. ;)

Us over 30 folk sometimes just don't have the time to let someone else come in and change things up their life. We're comfortable. The only person that will change that is the near perfect woman. The "knock me down" lady... ;)
 Kinetically
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 487
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/28/2011 11:57:07 PM
My personal contention is that men, like women in their 30s and 40s are, generally speaking, more established, grounded, and less likely to settle. In a sense we have become more picky, realizing that time is shorter and that it takes much more effort to change lifestyle once a commitment is reached. Hence the need to be so selective in our dating prospects.

Additionally, I think that men, like women in their 30s and 40s have developed a stronger sense of intuition based on our past dating experiences. Therefore we are exceptionally keen to errata that we pick up during conversation which indicates that something....just...isn't quite...right...with her. As a result, the search continues and we remain single longer.

The irony is, of course, that all of us on this site are looking for the same thing in one capacity or another. The manner of execution of the fulfillment of our desire may differ, but ultimately we are all after one of several means of fulfillment.

I don't think this process of selection indicates a character flaw, rather I think it is quite predictable based on the various results of relationship experiences, timing, age, and lifestyle which we must all contend with as we grow older....And wiser.

It's such a vicious cycle no?

-LB
 EMunchy2010
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 489
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/2/2011 12:55:13 PM
"
it was said on another message board that if a man is single and over the age of 30 and good looking, there has got to be some character flaw or some reason why he is not taken....
"

WTF! Is this a new tread or something. BAD TREAND, BAD! This is America, for goodness sake, remember that!

__ All you people (from the 80's-90's) partying it up like it's 1999-2000, sleeping with each other, getting drunk and and having three-somes ,four-somes, one night stands and even open relationships... still going single and not committing. I call that living it up as if it's the end of the world.

So that's the million dollar question?? If you're 30+ and single/ no kids= there has to be something wrong??
Grow up people... not worth discussing! >.>



 EMunchy2010
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 490
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/2/2011 1:00:33 PM
... what I left out is like the guy said above. You could have life experience with many people but not worth writing home about. What if you have spent most of your time finding the right person... unlucky (maybe)? Nothing to do with character or defects.

... I believe if your with someone NOW but doesn't show any promise after 2-3 years, drop it! Work, study, dating... take a lot of time and after you know it , your 15 going on 30.
 sinfulsonar97
Joined: 4/30/2011
Msg: 492
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/3/2011 1:33:39 AM
Some men woman are looking for perfect. ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 493
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/3/2011 11:09:54 AM
I think the posters who stated that circumstance and having been in relationships that didn't go the distance are two main factors.

I married at 20- waaay to young - and had only had 3 years on my own- at a very young age mind you- didn't know squat basically.

Fast forward 30 years later. I've been on my own again for 3 plus years and it's been a completely different ( learning) experience.

I'd like to be in a ltr again but it will happen when I meet someone compatible, including having been thru the same life experiences

and being in the same place I am.

So, I'd say it's about life experiences and going thru what brought us to the current time and place,

and being proactive in our awareness of who's around us.
 randyh1973
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 494
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/6/2011 5:14:02 PM
I'm over 30 and single!I just have horrible luck when it comes to woman.everyone has there flaws,I sure do!I have been unable to find a good woman....
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 496
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/7/2011 5:30:53 AM
I am single by choice. Best places to meet people and strike up conversation is simply being out in public. NOT the gym Luke, do not do it there ( you do not want the reputation of oh there is that guy who stares and hit on me ). That is where weirdos bug us. LOL. Grocery stores, coffee places ; better idea.

Nothing wrong with people being single. Heck, I love it. If I meet the right guy great. If not, who cares?

People label single like it is something so horrible ! It is a blessing !
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 497
view profile
History
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/7/2011 5:50:43 AM
There is definitely something wrong with me. However, the title of this thread should be ... "People... Something wrong with them?" because everyone has an issue or three.

I'd probably be in more relationships if I wasn't so gun shy. Not a big deal, I'm not concerned, and if I start to think that there's something seriously wrong with me, what does that say about the women I'm trying to date? Is there something seriously wrong with them too? Vicious circle. Lets just not go down that road.
 Up4AnewExperience
Joined: 5/28/2011
Msg: 499
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/7/2011 11:32:10 AM
that is not true at all, not all men are like that
 kayanow007
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 500
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/7/2011 1:03:15 PM
No, maybe he is still giving himself a rest from the shallow, vain women that he was dating for 4 years. Some men that are told they are a good catches may have a character flaw due to women telling them, the same go for some women.
Just a thought
 worldtraveller74
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 502
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/9/2011 6:32:46 PM
Perhaps he lives in say the midwest, which he is totally incompatible with. ANYONE GOT A JOB SOMEWHERE COOLER? I'll be there asap.
 landaubr
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 503
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/9/2011 8:59:12 PM
My reason is that I'd much rather be single and content than constantly fighting with somebody. It's not worth the daily drama just to have somebody to come home to. I know many long term couples in my age group and they are all MISERABLE. I must conclude that many people have a huge need to be coupled regardless of the circumstances.
 InnerVision303
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 504
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/10/2011 5:32:23 AM
I think there is as much wrong with people who ARE taken as with those who aren't. People get married for all the wrong reasons and then half of all marriages end in divorce.
 Sirenne
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 505
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/11/2011 12:58:19 AM
Not at all. He may be fussy, hasnt met the right one or has had bad luck in the past and is wary.... Not everyone wants to be in a partnership all the time let alone settling down.
.
 Stayton
Joined: 3/23/2011
Msg: 506
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/11/2011 5:29:08 PM
There are many reasons people over 30 are single....bad marriages, abusive relationships, and a number of any reason. But does it really matter why anyone is single...it happens in life no matter the reason or if it was by choice. Get to know a person..that's all that should matter first....not if there is a problem with a guy/woman.
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 507
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/11/2011 6:58:27 PM
Hey, there's nothing wrong with me.
Just ask any of my 11 cats.
They'll tell you!
 ChiliPequin
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 508
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/15/2011 7:27:00 PM
I don't think there's anything wrong with me, other than I won't settle. I was married to my son's father for 4 years and got out when I realized that the problems we were having were not going to get better. I've been divorced now for 7 years and have had two relationships since then. Both of them needed to end for their own reasons, not the least of which, I was miserable in them.

Am I lonely once in a while? Do I envy happily married people? Sure. But I won't stay with or marry anyone, just to have someone. Few people think like this. I know a lot of people in crappy marriages or who are dating people that are not suitable for them, because they are so afraid to confront the "single stigma." Being unhappy with someone is better to them than being content and single. My ex-husband is remarried, and it's obvious that he did solely for financial and security-related reasons. He and his wife have this "bear in a trap" look on their faces all the time, and I don't believe that they're happy together. They just had a late-life baby and purchased a home that they paid too much for before the market dropped and she lost her job, so neither of them could get out now if they wanted to. Getting out would mean they'd lose everything, and I feel bad for them. The first relationship I mentioned, the guy got married about 6 months after we broke up. Either it was a really rushed relationship, or he was cheating on me before I left him. This is a small town, and from what I understand, the woman is a desperate barfly that he picked up and that he orders around; she seems grateful that someone...anyone...wanted her. The other relationship - he has a lot of personal-life problems that I, unfortunately, can't be around, because he will not do any work on himself, and they make him extremely difficult to be with.

So...given what I just posted, what's better: staying with my available options, or continuing to look and being single for a while until I find it? I don't think there's anything wrong with me -- but there would be, had I settled for any of those relationships, or one that I know to be unhealthy.
 Angelique75
Joined: 10/5/2010
Msg: 509
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/17/2011 1:19:40 PM
I totally agree with you. I was married for 10 years and it was my decision to end it because the other half was CRAZY!!
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