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 tacofairy
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 510
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?Page 12 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Hmm I just turned 30 last year and b/c my lack of relationship skills and such I get a lot of the "You're not getting any younger" crap. I don't believe I should settle for whatever guy comes along. I've always felt something was wrong with me when it comes to love.
 Diancarock1976
Joined: 11/23/2010
Msg: 511
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History
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/19/2011 11:01:34 AM
I don't think there's anything wrong with any of us, accept for lack of faith and outside interest.
 moun10dew
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 512
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/3/2011 1:37:49 PM
I don't think there is anything wrong with people over 30 not taken. I'm in my 40's and am still very single. Granted...there are still a lot of things I have yet to figure out about dating...but that's about it. I agree with my friends...both male and female....I'm a pretty good (not great...but still) catch. I have a great job...I have hobbies that keep me busy...I am close to my family and friends...I care about the world around me. I just, for various reasons, haven't found the one.

However I did have one female friend that kept breaking up with her bf (at least 5 times in a 1.5 year period) due to trust issues. One day we were talking about relationships...and she told me "You know...it's not that you have anything wrong with you, because you are a great guy, it's just that you aren't meant to have anyone fall for you. Some people are meant to find that special person, but there are people out there in the world that there just isn't anyone out there for them. You are one of those people that aren't meant to find anyone. It's not good...it's not bad...and there is nothing you can do about it. Just accept the fact that you are going to be single the rest of your life and just live your life." I'll let you think about where that friendship is today.
 friendlyarcher5
Joined: 4/22/2011
Msg: 513
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/3/2011 6:44:19 PM
I don't think someone who has not been taken by thirty is a big deal, as many people who go to school when they are in their twenties often don't have a lot of time to date and get out a lot. This is something I can understand, as school is a lot of work!

However, I don't feel the same about people who are over forty and have never been in anything more than a short term relationship. At this age, this suggests a potentially serious character flaw such as being a chronic workaholic or having a serious personality disorder. Personally, I know quite a few guys like this, and I can see why they have a hard time finding and sustaining a relationship.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not trying to be harsh on these people. In fact, I put myself in this category as well, as my longest relationship was four and a half years, and I am approaching 45. My own personal flaw is that I spent so few years inside of a relationship when I was in my twenties that I developed a mild form of narcissism. Unfortunately, I love to be able to go somewhere on my own terms, so I have become a bit set in my ways in many regards.

Of course, I don't think these things mean that people like this are doomed to be single forever. It just means that it is a bit more difficult.

At least that is the way i view it....
 TruckerPohl
Joined: 11/16/2010
Msg: 514
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/4/2011 7:07:10 AM
I'm over 30 and enjoy being single. I'm one of those people that doesn't have to have someone by their side 24/7. There is nothing wrong with me i.e. I'm mentally healthy, no drama, no bs, I'm a straight shooter just waiting for "The One" I guess. I have lots of patience and faith that some day the right person will come into my life. In the mean time, I'm the one date master and just keep plugging along
 lily661
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 517
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/12/2011 4:14:44 PM
Omg I get asked that alot!!! If there is something wrong with me! I think its just bad timing thats all.
 JennieM3
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 518
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/12/2011 7:43:37 PM
I agree! I am recently over the age of 30, and feel that I just haven't found the one who makes ME happy yet. Does that make me a loser for waiting for the one that I want to settle for? I certainly hope not.
If I wanted to settle down at an earlier age, I would have. Trust me, it's easy to marry, but difficult to find the one you should be married to.
If someone is conflicted with this age, well Sheryl Crow says that 40's the new 20. I suppose that makes me 10!
All I say is don't be quick to judge, you may be surprised how cool people are who are looking for mr or miss right!
 racefios
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 519
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/13/2011 10:40:42 PM
After reading this thread I thought right away about my best friend Bill. He's one of the greatest guys I have ever known. He's got an excellent career, makes good decisions, has infinite patience with people, is completely open minded about anything you want to talk about, and I basically trust him with my life. He's a healthy, active and good looking guy too at 45. He's always been single with no children.

He gets plenty of attention from married women, especially the ones who work with him, his "work spouses", because they know he is an excellent person and always reliable. He won't go there though.

The thing is, for every ten or more guys I know who are complete schmucks--I mean, totally transparent losers and con artists--I meet a guy like Bill who has everything to offer; but the losers (the word "losers" isn't even strong enough to capture what I mean) all have multiple women pining after them while guys like Bill go it alone.

The really screwed up thing is that the losers have horrible self-esteem, and almost nothing they say about themselves can be believed; and they treat women like crap and then dump them because they don't want to belong to a club that would have them as a member. A guy like Bill, however, finds the beauty in just about every woman and wants to meet a woman who sees him the same way, but can't find any women like that at all.

I used to blame the loser men entirely for this phenomenon; but now I'm starting to think it's just as rare to find a woman with good enough self esteem to approach a really good catch like Bill rather than bottom feeding for schmucks. Bill is a lonely, very dependable, fun, secure, great guy who can't get a date precisely because no woman feels good enough to date him (unless they are already married, apparently). Meanwhile, the supreme irony is that he would deeply appreciate any woman at all who had the guts to lower her guard and show him some interest and affection, though most women are more afraid of him than they are of guys who are too immature to appreciate them. It boggles my mind.

Luckily I'm not half the man my best friend is; so I go on more dates than he does. Unfortunately it seems that I have "loser" written all over me, which attracts plenty of women initially; but the truth is I appreciate women as much as Bill does, so I can't keep one for long either before they decide THEY can't belong to a club that would have them as a member either. What to do...
 racefios
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 520
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/13/2011 10:49:21 PM
I think insecurity is a 21st Century pandemic. More and more people seem to me to be terribly insecure about themselves, mistrustful and afraid of each other, therefore dishonest with each other about really trivial shortcomings, terribly lonely yet far too stubborn to let go, open up and be friendly to each other. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who sees this, the only one who is not too uptight to be real, and that I'll be the last person on Earth to stumble into a permanent relationship because I don't know how to play cat and mouse rather than do what comes most naturally to me.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 521
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/14/2011 2:12:35 PM
I know "I" have issues.

WOMEN......round and round and round they go.......

when they're into me....

LAST. TO.KNOW

 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 522
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/14/2011 2:14:12 PM
Insecurity was broadcast over every newspaper and tv for..like....5 yrs.

It SHOULD be over soon; where people dont distrust and hate everyone they dont know.

Let us hope?
 Cwalken78
Joined: 5/1/2011
Msg: 524
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/14/2011 2:57:51 PM
I wouldn't think that there would be a character flaw at all ,I saw my 20's as a total experimental phase so now by my 30's I am able to see the red flags in men I date. But than again that is my opinon.


 NateInGA
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 527
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/14/2011 7:53:46 PM
I have to agree with OP on this... I am 36 and single... The difference between a 20 year old and a 30 year old is that we know we are flawed. In my particular case I was in a relationship for 11 years (living together not married), her choice not mine; and she eventually found someone else on facebook and left. After that I took a year to be myself again before even trying to date, hence why I am on this site in the first place...
So the question is single 30+ year old who thinks he or she is twenty is definitely a problem.
Ive found its all about what your willing to accept and what you cannot accept. I find a bigger flaw in people who discriminate based on general assumptions... Its not like I'm a 90+ hitting on 18 year olds....
LMAO
 Sunsunsun4
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 528
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/14/2011 8:21:09 PM
Speaking only for myself: I had some bad luck in that the two men I loved most, were not at all animal people. One, in fact, was so allergic that I had to shower and wash my clothes before meeting up with him. I would have had to give up too big a part of myself in order to marry either one.

So I've had close, loving, long term relationships that just had this element of bad luck. I'm not a crazy hoarder or something, either I'm talking horse pro, veterinary assistant, dog trainer. I could no sooner give up contact with animals, than stop singing.
 tourniquet30
Joined: 6/20/2010
Msg: 530
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/14/2011 11:41:52 PM
I am over 30 in fact I just turned 32 last month... I am only single because it is not by my choice and I want the right girl ... I was married at a point in time but that didn't work out and that was not my choice either. I agree you should not judge a person by their age especially if you don't them or their backround.
 Wildfreefun
Joined: 10/20/2010
Msg: 531
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/15/2011 2:48:44 PM
I'd just call them intelligent.
 prettyposh
Joined: 5/1/2011
Msg: 532
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2011 2:01:53 AM
Why would you on a dating website claiming to want a relationship if you feel it's unintelligent to be "taken"?
 Possessions
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 533
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2011 2:19:34 AM
No no, there's nothing wrong with them.


There is, however, something wrong with me. That's totally irrelevant to this discussion.
 Sisyphus76
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 534
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2011 7:11:01 AM

Why would you on a dating website claiming to want a relationship if you feel it's unintelligent to be "taken"?


To be funny..?

We live in an were we are more likely than not to live a healthy 80+ years. We are all, for the most part, educated and informed. Like it or not, the idea of spending your entire life with one person is very antiquated and designed for ignorant masses. Our brains are wired for monogamy, but they are also wired cycle mates in and out.

Think about this; if you live for 80 years and marry at 25, are you really going to be happy with one person for 55 years? That is a very, very long time.
 moun10dew
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 535
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2011 8:45:31 AM

Think about this; if you live for 80 years and marry at 25, are you really going to be happy with one person for 55 years? That is a very, very long time.


My parents actually celebrated their 47th wedding anniversary a few months back. My no deceased grandparents hit their 50+ and so did my great grandparents. I think it's really cool! Granted they grew up in a different time when divorce rates were either very low or practically non-existent. For me however at 40 and never been married...it's likely that if I do meet someone it's not going to hit the 50 or more mark. I don't see myself living until I'm 90 and I'd have to get married in the next few years to even have a shot at getting there.
 Sisyphus76
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 536
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2011 9:38:35 AM
It has been tradition for a long time to suppress self for the good of a relationship. How many times have you heard the secret to a strong marriage is two words: "Yes dear"? I don't know about you, but I cannot be happy when I'm constantly having to give in. Trust me, I have tried.

Divorce rates are high because we aren't designed to be with one person our entire lives. When someone boasts of a 40+ year marriage I only cringe at the thought of one of them destroying who they are for the sake of maintaining the marriage.
 moun10dew
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 537
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2011 9:43:16 AM
then why bother getting married in the first place? seems like you might as well say up front to the other person. "I have zero desire to be with you my entire life, but I'm totally cool with being with you until I grow bored." That's really sad.
 Sisyphus76
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 538
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2011 10:06:55 AM
It's not sad, it's reality. It's biology.

If you love someone, marry them. Take the stress of forever out of it and just be happy.
 moun10dew
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 539
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2011 10:51:27 AM
I know most of my married friends say they feel sorry for me and that there was no way in hell they would want to have to deal with dating and all that goes with it. and I get that from both married men and women friends.
 petuniagrl23
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 540
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2011 5:15:38 PM
I think there is nothing wrong with it, it actually goes both ways, maybe he's just finding the wrong women. Goes for women too. I think its natural!
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