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 vertical95
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 355
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?Page 14 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Not necessary. I will basically repeat what a poster mentioned in another thread about a similiar topic. There are plenty of valid reason(s) why a 30+ yr old person is single. Perhaps (s)he had been in a relationship for several years. Broke up with the other person and wanted to take some time off from dating. Perhaps (s)he was preoccupied with work, school, or other committments. Perhaps they simply preferred to be single.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 356
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/1/2010 10:45:27 AM
^^You forgot:
#4 Would rather be single than go with the options she's faced with
#5 Doesn't care if she's single.

#6 AATA must apply to single men as well!
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 357
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/1/2010 1:45:39 PM

If a woman has been single for over half the year there is something wrong with her.


depends on what she looks like. top tier chicks get the pick of the litter so they can either continuously play the field (because they can) or if they really do wanna be in a relationship but can't seem to stay in one, then yeah, something is wrong with them considering their available dating pool.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 358
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/1/2010 5:49:39 PM
Well honey... I've often thought the exact same about good looking woman both over and above the great 30. I've come to the conclusion that the majority of people (especially those in rather well off countries) have many unrealistic expectations. Everyone likes to aim high and get the best of everything. But in reality, all people have flaws. Most people can't take the good with the not so good. Somethings people can't change about themselves or others. As long as we can't find that balance will always be wondering why's this why's that.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 359
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/3/2010 10:35:18 AM
If a woman has been single for over half the year there is something wrong with her.


depends on what she looks like. top tier chicks get the pick of the litter so they can either continuously play the field (because they can) or if they really do wanna be in a relationship but can't seem to stay in one, then yeah, something is wrong with them considering their available dating pool.

So, just because a girl is good looking and single, something is wrong with her? Unbelievable. There could be so many reasons she is single. I know a lot of attractive single woman that have nothing wrong with them. There are many reasons why they are still single. Especially, black women. Sadly, most of our men are incarcerated or are with other races. But, that is another story.
 MrFication
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 360
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/3/2010 10:49:24 AM

If a woman has been single for over half the year there is something wrong with her.


Sometimes it could take them that long to be ready again. I can almost argue the opposite. I've known quite a few women that can't be single for more than about 2 weeks. Many of them are quite attractive and seem like they would be the perfect find, but they have mental health issues--schizophrenia, bipolar, or severe depression. I don't consider these as something wrong, just different; but I know a number of men that would run from them at first word of this.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 361
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/5/2010 1:29:43 AM
yes yes yes, we are all dysfunctional. Now take your medication and leave your generalizations at the door
 isnuttinfree
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 362
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/5/2010 5:43:16 AM
The older people get the more negative and jaded SOME become because of life experiences and other's negativity rubbing off on them..such is the power of peer pressure.
But even the optimistic ones (how many has it shrunk to now?) looking forward to the future get their party gate-crashed by others floating their crappy opinions about the place, like "People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?" - it's like a 2-year old's question. My underground bunker and shelves of tinned food are more inviting and nourishing. The air is a bit thick up here..did I say air, think I meant something else LOL. See what you've reduced one of your counterparts to..
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 363
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/5/2010 7:12:10 AM

So, just because a girl is good looking and single, something is wrong with her? Unbelievable. There could be so many reasons she is single. I know a lot of attractive single woman that have nothing wrong with them. There are many reasons why they are still single. Especially, black women. Sadly, most of our men are incarcerated or are with other races. But, that is another story.


what i'm saying is, for example, is if i had designer genes and was on the dating scene and living where i live, there's a huge dating pool, i wouldn't have any probs at all getting men at any time. if i was a 10, men would be disposable and that's just reality. now, let's say i got past that stage of dating around and was looking for something more serious and stable. being that i look better than the majority of women, and looks do count for a lot (but not everything), i'd still have the highest pool of available men at my disposal even though i wouldn't be looking to date them all, just hopefully the one that tickles my fancy the most.

now if i'm playing the field, cuz i can based on my looks, then that's perfectly fine. i find no fault with hot chicks or men for that. but when someone claims to want to BE in a relationship, something serious, and they can't seem to stay in one for any considerable amount of time cuz it's the OTHER person that's the problem, and keeping in mind i can get any man i want but i keep choosing duds, then yes, i absolutely believe something is wrong with chicks like that. take a gander at some of the women's profiles if you want and you'll see why a lot of us men think this way and it's totally justified. far from jaded, just realistic about it.

and that especiallly black women comment? i think that's a load of bullshyt. just another excuse for why someone is single. like me for instance. i don't date women that drink but i don't use that as an EXCUSE for my singledom. it's just one of several factors contributing to it but i'd never let that jade me into believing it's a leading cause for my being single. i'm black, grew up without privilege, and turned out perfectly fine. never been locked up and never contributed to any black stereotype. so you're gonna have to find another excuse for black women being single. that attitude some of you have is definitely a contributor.

black men dating outside of their race? so it's an issue for us and not other races? i've always dated outside (and inside) of my race cuz i could care less what color someone is. it's been said countless times; i go by the quality of their character. skin color doesn't even enter my thought process. cultural background, definitely. race? never. maybe if you had a more positive attitude towards men of your own race first and men of all other races second, then you'd meet with some success. if you're not attracted to other races, then i can totally understand cuz that's preference and we all have some.

as for being over 30 and single with that attitude, i believe you have to offer what you want in a relationship. looks are one thing but there's so many other things people ignore. i stand by my statement that women of a certain age and a certain look who announce they want to be in a relationship but can't stay in one are problematic somehow. women make the decision on if a relationship is gonna start or not, not men.
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 364
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/5/2010 7:19:56 AM
I posted here before, but can't remember what I said!

I've never married, my sister's never married! Very strange!

Firstly I would say that there are many defective people out there. Some get married (or involved) and some don't! But the thread is about"taken" people as if that is some kind of permanent status! Hell, even the Divorce rate is fifty percent, and other relationship failures is obviously much higher then that! So, the term "taken" is totally inappropriate!

But I would probably venture to say is that someone that doesn't at some point get married is probably at the very least different from the norm, in some way, good or bad and different always has a social stigma attached to it!
 Nicci Can
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 365
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/5/2010 1:57:25 PM

If a woman has been single for over half the year there is something wrong with her.


That's funny because often times I take this to mean the opposite. If a woman is incapable of being single for over half the year I take it to mean something is wrong with her, specifically that she can't be alone & comfortable with herself.
 isnuttinfree
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 366
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/5/2010 8:35:51 PM
Narrow-mindedness and being set in one's ways also seems destined to follow the older crowd, contributing to a higher rate of older singles..eg intolerance of potential mates because they don't fit inflexible standards.
Flaws maketh or breaketh the person. Past that, how others handles someone's flaws says alot about them.
Attitude is a recurring theme.
It must be acknowledged however that for some it's much more difficult and life's dramas can either, I assume, light the fuse that was already there or effect a change in them outside of their control..such as in mental health conditions (not being a medical professional, I can only offer that up as opinion). Naturally that impacts their dating prospects a great deal.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 367
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/7/2010 9:31:10 AM
kow626, you're entitled to your opinion but the real world does not work like you think it should. I know many attractive women who are single. Not everyone who is attractive and single is problematic. I know that from my own experiences. And, believe it or not 70% of black women in the US are single. There are not many available blcak men because many of them are in prison. Many black women who only date black men don't have many prospects. Those are facts. You can google it if you don't believe it.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 368
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/7/2010 9:55:31 AM
^^^^don't need to google it cuz i flat out don't believe it. the only ones who do are black women. with a defeatist attitude like that, it's no wonder you have the plight that you do. you don't hear about ANY other race complaining about lack of availabilty of the opposite sex except black women. if a damn good black man was such an endangered species, then how come WE don't complain about no good black women being available? the "white women" argument simply doesn't fly with me. location is one thing. people are gonna be prone to date what's around them. attitude is the other. if you're not attracted to an outside race and there aren't many of what you're attracted to where you are, there you have your problem.

if a good black man ain't available, what do you do? you either go to where there's a higher pool of available men or you realize that it just ain't gonna happen for you the way you want if you choose to stay put. it really is that simple. SOME but not ALL black women's attitudes are the reason for their dating troubles and no one is gonna convince me otherwise. obviously i'm black but i don't restrict myself to any one race. if you do, that's perfectly fine. i get it. so 70% of black women in the US are single? then ask yourself, who's problem is that? black men? i don't think so.

and to reiterate, i'm only saying that top tier attractive women, who can get any man on earth based on looks alone, who are dating and express the desire to be in a relationship but can't seem to stay in one for various reasons definitely ARE problematic. especially when they get to a certain age. this thread talks about over 30. i'd say between 30 and 40, if you haven't developed a good filter and a sense of self-awareness by then, then there's a problem somewhere. i realize some people take longer than others to achieve that. but top tier women can get ALL the dates if they want. with that much dating experience, it should come sooner rather than later. but we all know "the real world" don't work like that.
 staceyssc
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 369
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/7/2010 10:08:37 PM
I have no problem dating a man my age who has never been married. I do however, have a problem with dating someone who has been married to or lived with several different women. Many people treat marriage far to casually. I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesnt take marriage seriously enough to take the time to be sure he is with the right woman. I also wouldn't want to be with someone who can walk away from marriage easilly. Divorce happens, but a pattern of it is far worse than being single.
 12spring
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 370
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/24/2010 6:34:03 AM

Not necessary. I would rather be single than have a string of bad relationships. Perhaps they wanted to focus on school / work / other commitments, were shy, or simply wanted to be single when they were younger. Perhaps they didn't meet the right person yet.


I agree. Being single is better than being in an unhappy relationship.
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 371
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/8/2010 9:24:49 AM
kow626,

I hear your opinions but I will have to disagree. There are many beautiful women who are single and not problematic. I know many of them.
 JerseyWriter73
Joined: 7/4/2010
Msg: 372
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/8/2010 12:32:37 PM
this is one of those rare times where you can use "It's not me, it's YOU" as a reason.

If someone, at any age, has all their ducks in a row but they are single, it can be they are not meeting the right potential matches.

It gets harder to find someone as time passes so from a pure numbers perspective, the odds are against you. There have a been a lot of times I've turned down a date or two because I could honestly say there was no real connection between us. And I think serial dating or going out to kill your boredom is silly.

I believe as you grow into adulthood, you become more attached to the people you are with. But if you acheve such growth on your own, it just means you are strong enough to stand on your own.

In the end, not everyone was meant to be with a partner.
 Selendraco
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 373
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/18/2010 7:45:27 PM
I would like to know what's wrong with me.....
I'm 31, never had a boyfriend...

In retrospect I can answer that,
I am not attractive at all, and I was overweight, I'm not as overweight as I was but, people claim to like overweight people and I still couldn't even find them... lol

Meh
 SpecialTreasure80
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 374
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/19/2010 6:48:07 AM
(If someone, at any age, has all their ducks in a row but they are single, it can be they are not meeting the right potential matches.

It gets harder to find someone as time passes so from a pure numbers perspective, the odds are against you. There have a been a lot of times I've turned down a date or two because I could honestly say there was no real connection between us. And I think serial dating or going out to kill your boredom is silly.

I believe as you grow into adulthood, you become more attached to the people you are with. But if you acheve such growth on your own, it just means you are strong enough to stand on your own.

In the end, not everyone was meant to be with a partner.)

I agree, Jersey.
 Willys Wild Wheaties
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 375
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/19/2010 7:25:42 PM
I dont know...I have female friend that is 36 that is just getting married...very athletic, college educated although not a great job, financially frugal, family orientated...outgoing enough personality....probably a bit better than average looks in my opinion....I would have dated her if I met her before she was engaged just based on her personality....which is probably why she had to wait...guys dont mature enough early on to appreciate somebody like her I guess...too busy chasing after the girls with big hooters?....There are a lot out there like this that just dont have the high sex appeal.
 tiltowhirl
Joined: 6/6/2010
Msg: 376
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/19/2010 11:02:02 PM

People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?


I hope not. I know for me personally, there's nothing wrong with me. I have friends, a career, work, my own place/car/life/etc. It's just that I don't feel the need to settle down into a relationship that doesn't meet all of my needs. And neither should anyone else.

It takes time to find someone that you're attracted to on all of those different levels. Regardless of how many dating sites you hit, or groups you belong to, or places you go out to on the weekends, it just takes time.

Life isn't a Romantic Comedy.
 davdo
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 377
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/20/2010 2:08:34 AM
Yup, there is something wrong with us. We are selfish. We want the world to conform to us: why should I have to lose weight, have more hair, have a higher paying job, have nice teeth, be taller, drive a nicer car, go abroad twice a year, run triathlons, own a house, dress nice, go out of my house to meet others, not have kids, not have crazy ex's, have a college degree or two,not want sex, ...just to get at date or relationship?

Why should I have to try I am a nice person. Can't you just love me for existing?. We have been judged and rejected. It sucks but there it is. Somehow we just don't get along with others and aren't willing to make a compromise or two to be in a relationship. You either conform or you don't. IF you don't, you end up alone.
 crazyindian69
Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 378
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/21/2010 8:04:20 PM
Nope nothing wrong with us at all. nope nope nope. Well for most of us that live alone rather than at home. The men living at home over 30, that are not recovering from financial ruin or from major sickness, may have a small problem.

Think this should be taken on a case by case basis rather than stroking all us men over 30 and not taken with the same brush.

Kevin aka Crazyindian - posted from Happy Meadows mental institute.
 sivacalgary
Joined: 5/25/2010
Msg: 379
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/22/2010 1:31:48 AM
I am 33 years male of East Indian ethnicity, in Canada since 2007 (in and out)
You might be asking this question like you walk every day to your office and in your way there is a used car dealer. You see a beautiful car that anyone would want to buy with a sticker saying "FOR SALE" $4,000 the price of which you think is a good deal.

The next day you walk by and you see the same car in its same place with the same sticker. the next day, and the next day and so on....

You think something wrong withe car, definitely a lot of people might have tried that car, maybe the drive is not smooth, maybe the seats are not comfortable, maybe it just guzzles and smokes, maybe it is noisy, maybe it is cold, maybe it doesn't go the way ones want it to go, or it doesn't stop when it is required to stop.

There are lot of probabilities that it is true for a "car" that it might have some flaws. But trust me a man might or might not have a flaw. There are lot of "human" factors involved on why a man is still single even after 30. Let me limit my comments to myself and my observations.

My youth and childhood was very disturbed. Two things I missed I dint have the chance to learn or play sports. I was not able to make any girl friends.

By the time I was in my late twenties it was a lack of energy to pursue or devote time for girls. I am not super handsome or even handsome but I don't look bad (In my country) I either did not notice or no girl was attracted to me in that period.

As I entered my 30s it was a lack of time. I was more into stabilizing my life and direction. Less time meant less interaction with girls. Less interaction means less probability of getting hooked up.

Now I am entering the mid 30s. Young girls are no longer interested in me. My aged girls themselves dont have time for play. girls above my age are either married or too fat (no offense ..) .

I a not sure how the coming years will be. It is getting tougher and tougher to smell the scent of a girl.

Did you ever see the movie "Lonely Guy" (Steve Martin) ah..! that movie was heartwarming..

Some people call it fate, some call it destiny, some call it luck
As far as a mans character flaw is concerned it might be a possible but it is not a deterrent young guys might have greater flaws then these men. But one thing I can surely say is that this "man" has experienced a lot of slip between the cup and the lip

Siva,
Calgary,AB
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