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 davdo
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 377
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?Page 15 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Yup, there is something wrong with us. We are selfish. We want the world to conform to us: why should I have to lose weight, have more hair, have a higher paying job, have nice teeth, be taller, drive a nicer car, go abroad twice a year, run triathlons, own a house, dress nice, go out of my house to meet others, not have kids, not have crazy ex's, have a college degree or two,not want sex, ...just to get at date or relationship?

Why should I have to try I am a nice person. Can't you just love me for existing?. We have been judged and rejected. It sucks but there it is. Somehow we just don't get along with others and aren't willing to make a compromise or two to be in a relationship. You either conform or you don't. IF you don't, you end up alone.
 crazyindian69
Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 378
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/21/2010 8:04:20 PM
Nope nothing wrong with us at all. nope nope nope. Well for most of us that live alone rather than at home. The men living at home over 30, that are not recovering from financial ruin or from major sickness, may have a small problem.

Think this should be taken on a case by case basis rather than stroking all us men over 30 and not taken with the same brush.

Kevin aka Crazyindian - posted from Happy Meadows mental institute.
 sivacalgary
Joined: 5/25/2010
Msg: 379
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/22/2010 1:31:48 AM
I am 33 years male of East Indian ethnicity, in Canada since 2007 (in and out)
You might be asking this question like you walk every day to your office and in your way there is a used car dealer. You see a beautiful car that anyone would want to buy with a sticker saying "FOR SALE" $4,000 the price of which you think is a good deal.

The next day you walk by and you see the same car in its same place with the same sticker. the next day, and the next day and so on....

You think something wrong withe car, definitely a lot of people might have tried that car, maybe the drive is not smooth, maybe the seats are not comfortable, maybe it just guzzles and smokes, maybe it is noisy, maybe it is cold, maybe it doesn't go the way ones want it to go, or it doesn't stop when it is required to stop.

There are lot of probabilities that it is true for a "car" that it might have some flaws. But trust me a man might or might not have a flaw. There are lot of "human" factors involved on why a man is still single even after 30. Let me limit my comments to myself and my observations.

My youth and childhood was very disturbed. Two things I missed I dint have the chance to learn or play sports. I was not able to make any girl friends.

By the time I was in my late twenties it was a lack of energy to pursue or devote time for girls. I am not super handsome or even handsome but I don't look bad (In my country) I either did not notice or no girl was attracted to me in that period.

As I entered my 30s it was a lack of time. I was more into stabilizing my life and direction. Less time meant less interaction with girls. Less interaction means less probability of getting hooked up.

Now I am entering the mid 30s. Young girls are no longer interested in me. My aged girls themselves dont have time for play. girls above my age are either married or too fat (no offense ..) .

I a not sure how the coming years will be. It is getting tougher and tougher to smell the scent of a girl.

Did you ever see the movie "Lonely Guy" (Steve Martin) ah..! that movie was heartwarming..

Some people call it fate, some call it destiny, some call it luck
As far as a mans character flaw is concerned it might be a possible but it is not a deterrent young guys might have greater flaws then these men. But one thing I can surely say is that this "man" has experienced a lot of slip between the cup and the lip

Siva,
Calgary,AB
 sivacalgary
Joined: 5/25/2010
Msg: 380
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/22/2010 1:45:06 AM

We have been judged and rejected. It sucks but there it is


Add a bit of Worcestershire sauce in that. Or maybe Indian curry!
I have not approached any girl in Canada not for the fear of rejection but it is just i have more chances of wining the lotto then getting her interest..

Damn, in 10 minutes I will be home, forget about that girl.
When I travel the bus I see a girl entering and greeting the driver with a smile and scanning for empty seats she slowly turns her face to the side where I am sitting. Her smile stops abruptly like a police car in hollywood movies with her mouth becoming perfect straight line.

How do they do that?
Not worth the remnants of a smile?
Is it the Indian Curry?
 sivacalgary
Joined: 5/25/2010
Msg: 381
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/22/2010 1:57:32 AM
Why men in general get attracted (or fantasize) big boobs. smooth skin, long hair?
Why women in general (Romanticize) get attracted to man who look like Clint east wood, tall, dark, long fore arms, voice?

You got it, It is our Charles who told us about Sexual selection. These are subtle indicators of a good partner for child bearing. I call it primitive instincts. How much ever modernized and civilized we are we still get aroused by bug boobs. Women fall for men that look handsome.

You are right, We (you and me and others who are 30+ and still single) are disadvantaged and we are some where below in the rung. Please note that there might be others till below us. So we have to wait for some one who goes beyond these primitive instincts and has the ability to look deep inside.

It is competitive pair selection. The fittest gene pool wants to stay the fittest..
I a going to Grow a beard, wear a leather loin cloth, take a club, drive the girls to the cave and screw them!

Yahooo!
 sivacalgary
Joined: 5/25/2010
Msg: 382
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/22/2010 2:02:41 AM

I'm starting to think that maybe dating sites are more for people who are only interested in quick hook ups. If you write a profile that makes it seem like you might be looking for something long-term, serious, then that seems to scare people away.


True
 sivacalgary
Joined: 5/25/2010
Msg: 383
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/22/2010 11:55:16 AM

Men aren't considered damaged goods until after 40


Damaged goods? A pit takes more damage than a tree trunk whatever the time maybe.
 officegal_1
Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 384
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/1/2010 10:03:15 AM

Not necessary. I would rather be single than have a string of bad relationships. Perhaps they wanted to focus on school / work / other commitments, were shy, or simply wanted to be single when they were younger. Perhaps they didn't meet the right person yet.


 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 385
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/1/2010 2:00:01 PM
I guess I should shoot myself now...put myself outta my misery.

There is noting wrong with anyone at any age who is outside a relationship...we all need time or two alone to grow for the next relationship.
 Fresh fish is best fresh.
Joined: 7/29/2010
Msg: 386
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/2/2010 12:21:14 PM
No there is nothing wrong with them, unless there is something wrong with them of course. Maybe there is something right about them instead of something wrong, and they are looking for someone with something right also..
 HappierAbroad
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 387
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/2/2010 3:13:14 PM
girls above my age are either married or too fat (no offense ..)


EXACTLY, and this one of my multiple reasons why I chose to look at the global dating scene via international dating sites rather than continue down the path of what I know isnt working which is the local US dating scene". The older a man gets the harder it gets to meet the kind of woman you would want to settle down with and lets admit it, most local woman are age sensitive also . I havent checked POF but I know for a fact that 70% of match.com dating profiles list the desired age of the man they are willing to meet as being a max of 4 yrs older . Guys in their upper 30's + are really screwed with the US dating scene,well, again, unless that guy is ok with upper 30's woman also who likely has kids, been divorced(which divorced isnt always something to hold against of course , but....thats another thread) , and 90% chance overweight. Its not easy folks.


I have not approached any girl in Canada not for the fear of rejection but it is just i have more chances of wining the lotto then getting her interest..

Damn, in 10 minutes I will be home, forget about that girl.
When I travel the bus I see a girl entering and greeting the driver with a smile and scanning for empty seats she slowly turns her face to the side where I am sitting. Her smile stops abruptly like a police car in hollywood movies with her mouth becoming perfect straight line.


Hey bro, you are one of tons of men going through this. Just look at all the guys at POF expressing similar frustrations. The problem is not you (or those men), its LOCATION!! Go overseas bro, the ladies are far more receptive. The problem you describe is 10 x worse if you are a man of ethnicity. Asian and indian looking men do especially bad with Western /Westernized ladies. Hey, so, did you ever consider meeting a woman from your country via online dating site? Should be easy enough since you and she would have somuch in common. Of course, you could do nothing and keep getting the same results. Expand your borders and you will do well.
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 388
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/2/2010 3:17:44 PM

I havent checked POF but I know for a fact that 70% of match.com dating profiles list the desired age of the man they are willing to meet as being a max of 4 yrs older .
I'm highly suspect as to the vlidity of that claim, but even if it were true, women statistically outlive men by at least seven years anyway. What's wrong with a woman who doesn't want to change her husband's diapers in his old age, then spend the rest of her life alone, because she married some old coot who couldn't offer her a lifetime of companionship like a man her own age could?
 HappierAbroad
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 389
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/2/2010 4:02:08 PM
What's wrong with a woman who doesn't want to change her husband's diapers in his old age, then spend the rest of her life alone, because she married some old coot who couldn't offer her a lifetime of companionship like a man her own age could?


Wow, Im amazed at what i hear sometimes. Changing diapers??? OMG, are you serious? LOL. Whaaatever. LOL

Look, there's nothing wrong with having a age preference. Im just saying that woman in asia and latin america dont care about age differences like Western ladies do. Our Western values are different thats all. Western societies value youth and flash whereas most other cultures value wisdom and maturity. Its not uncommon to see 10-20 yr age differences in asian and latin couples. Therefore, its a great alternative for guys in the West who feel their age is working against them. Thats all Im saying. : )
 Louise st
Joined: 5/14/2010
Msg: 390
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/2/2010 5:17:09 PM
It depends on each persons point of view.May b he is just makeing sure he chose the right one. Hes being carefull, their is nothing wrong with that.
What one person sees as a problem some one else may not.
 BillDeruki
Joined: 6/25/2010
Msg: 391
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/5/2010 9:17:51 AM

What's wrong with a woman who doesn't want to change her husband's diapers in his old age, then spend the rest of her life alone, because she married some old coot who couldn't offer her a lifetime of companionship like a man her own age could?


Typical Western woman response. Highlighting exactly what Happierabroad is talking about. Thank you for providing "exibit A"

There's no guarantee of longevity no matter who you choose to be with. Read the obituaries, there's folks of all ages dropping dead every single day. Better to change a few diapers at the end of a good run than to change them constantly for your entire relationship (metaphorically speaking).
 MisterDynomite
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 392
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/5/2010 3:35:48 PM

my chances of getting married are less than my chances of being struck by lightning.... right????


Being struck by lightning sounds more appealing.... but winning the lottery is way more $exy.

"I have a date with a lottery ticket".....hmmmmmmm ..has a nice ring to it.

 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 393
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/16/2010 7:04:35 PM
In itself there is nothing wrong with being single no matter what age you are. I know that for me personally I do have some pretty serious issues that I have to deal with on a daily basis so I know that is a big reason,if not the entire reason,that I am single.
 dawntreader10
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 394
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 12/28/2010 6:04:21 AM
Have to agree with wolfjade. Answering for me personally, I KNEW/KNOW I don't want a huge committment. I will say, however, it has crossed my mind lately.

:D
 Ma-che-fai-tu
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 395
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 12/28/2010 6:49:37 AM
I'm 40 and single ( nothing wrong with it)
For the first time in years I actually am enjoying my life. Over the last 7 years I've been in 2 long term relationships ( Ladies! Great guys arn't afraid to settle down) The mistakes I made were trying to settle down with the wrong women and I paid the price. ( Learning experience).
Now adays it's not easy to meet the right women . I mean I have a job, a car, am ambitious, educated and not bad to look at but am overlooked because I lack a certain " status" ( allegedly). Rich/Bad boy
I could say that women over 30 are quite a bit more picky ( selective) than men. First thing they check are the looks, then toys, and so on and so on. Nothing wrong with that , and all the power to them just please please please for the love of God!!!! Stop complaining years later if you're still single and cannot figure out why.
 1FrequentFlyer
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 396
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 12/29/2010 3:25:07 AM
I don't believe in that individuals over 30 that are not taken have something wrong with them.

People reach different points of their lives at all ages, and I don't recall seeing a "people meter" indicating over 30 and single = red alert.

Speaking personally - I decided I wanted to pursue a successful career rather than take the route of my girlfriends who married at 25. Ironically - 50 percent of these friends are now divorced and back on the dating scene.

I think there are a lot of great catches out there over 30 that have been prejudged by this archaic notion.
 burning_daylight
Joined: 12/25/2010
Msg: 397
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 1/2/2011 3:19:39 PM
I just started dating someone who is 34 and never married, but was in a six-year relationship. That makes me wonder if he has commitment issues. Then there's me, on the other end of the spectrum: 36 with three marriages under my belt.... I think that's a bigger red flag than no marriages at this age, but it still makes me wonder.
 Ma-che-fai-tu
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 398
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 1/2/2011 5:49:18 PM
Over the last 7 years I've been in 2 committed relationships. I have a general rule that i live by. after 2 years in a relationship you would know if it is or isn't going to work . Unfortunately for many single people in their 30s they have either got out of a relationship or marriage. When you walk into a commitment you put everything in to it and the day it ends ( if not strong enough) it takes quite a bit out of you. I've been lucky ( or unlucky) never to have been married but it almost happened twice. I don't have commitment issues but at the same time we ( as we get older) are a little more cautious. You never know if the next person you are going to be with is the one or not. For some people it happens when they are younger. For others it takes some time. I'm happy being single but I'd also be happy with someone. I'm not damaged , and neither are most of us that are older and single. We just havn't had the luxery of being with the right people for us.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 399
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 1/2/2011 5:58:19 PM
You know all of us here are over 30 and we are not married.With over half of all marriages ending in divorce then most people out there are over 30 and not taken so I guess there is something wrong with just about all of us.

Something is wrong with someone when they get together with someone else just for the sake of being part of a couple.I have learned that it is better to be single then with someone just for the hell of it.
 ECEC
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 400
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 1/3/2011 4:12:58 AM
Yeap, I admit there's something wrong with me. So... can we play doctor and nurse now :)
 Zoth
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 401
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 1/6/2011 4:27:43 PM
I chain smoke, drink to excess on occasion, and play my guitar really loud when the mood strikes. No character flaws though. Why am I single? It's more fun! Rare is the woman my age who's looking for "that special someone" on this site who's life isn't a slalom between catastrophes.

Many of the young ladies' (I use the term loosely) profiles seem to include little more in the way of interests than tattoos, piercings, UFC, or other masculine-type things. It seems a disingenuous ploy to grab the attention of dumb jocks who they hope they can easily trap into paying for all their superficial whims and kids' school supplies.

Most women, I think, wan't someone they can easily manipulate. We bachelors over thirty perhaps aren't as malleable as the train-wrecks would like, and so remain single. We're onto your games, and have slept with enough married women to know what you're capable of.
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