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 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 493
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?Page 19 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
I think the posters who stated that circumstance and having been in relationships that didn't go the distance are two main factors.

I married at 20- waaay to young - and had only had 3 years on my own- at a very young age mind you- didn't know squat basically.

Fast forward 30 years later. I've been on my own again for 3 plus years and it's been a completely different ( learning) experience.

I'd like to be in a ltr again but it will happen when I meet someone compatible, including having been thru the same life experiences

and being in the same place I am.

So, I'd say it's about life experiences and going thru what brought us to the current time and place,

and being proactive in our awareness of who's around us.
 randyh1973
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 494
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/6/2011 5:14:02 PM
I'm over 30 and single!I just have horrible luck when it comes to woman.everyone has there flaws,I sure do!I have been unable to find a good woman....
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 496
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/7/2011 5:30:53 AM
I am single by choice. Best places to meet people and strike up conversation is simply being out in public. NOT the gym Luke, do not do it there ( you do not want the reputation of oh there is that guy who stares and hit on me ). That is where weirdos bug us. LOL. Grocery stores, coffee places ; better idea.

Nothing wrong with people being single. Heck, I love it. If I meet the right guy great. If not, who cares?

People label single like it is something so horrible ! It is a blessing !
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 497
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History
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/7/2011 5:50:43 AM
There is definitely something wrong with me. However, the title of this thread should be ... "People... Something wrong with them?" because everyone has an issue or three.

I'd probably be in more relationships if I wasn't so gun shy. Not a big deal, I'm not concerned, and if I start to think that there's something seriously wrong with me, what does that say about the women I'm trying to date? Is there something seriously wrong with them too? Vicious circle. Lets just not go down that road.
 Up4AnewExperience
Joined: 5/28/2011
Msg: 499
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/7/2011 11:32:10 AM
that is not true at all, not all men are like that
 kayanow007
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 500
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/7/2011 1:03:15 PM
No, maybe he is still giving himself a rest from the shallow, vain women that he was dating for 4 years. Some men that are told they are a good catches may have a character flaw due to women telling them, the same go for some women.
Just a thought
 thadarryl
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 501
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/9/2011 4:16:55 PM
If you want to know why People over single are 30 heck out my pics. its Obvious that I'm Nuts. LOL I figure if you know that Right away. Everything Else Is Easy. But there are Alos really Good things about the Over 30 crowd. There Usually Done Partying, and Know what they want. Theres nothing wrong with them. I think this Idea Comes from People Who want to find anything wrong with someone as opposed to whats Right.

It's True. if a First date Goes Well your all Wondering. "what is HE/She hiding" and the Over 30 and Single is an easy out. Cause you've met a great Guy/girl. But you say. there must be something Wrong with them. But some people don't wanna Stick around to find out. Thats how I see it anyways.

And MsmuscleChick. When I'm at the Gym I'm in the zone. Despite the Fact that I'm one of the "weirdos" as you call them that Likes Muscle on a woman. I'm always More concerned with Working out when I'm at the gym. So I agree if your at the Gym Ogling women. thats Bad. They Should Just go to the Club. I have had a woman or two Flirt with me at the Gym. But I keep my answers Short and Sweet and Continue with the training. It really is a turnoff.
 worldtraveller74
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 502
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/9/2011 6:32:46 PM
Perhaps he lives in say the midwest, which he is totally incompatible with. ANYONE GOT A JOB SOMEWHERE COOLER? I'll be there asap.
 landaubr
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 503
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/9/2011 8:59:12 PM
My reason is that I'd much rather be single and content than constantly fighting with somebody. It's not worth the daily drama just to have somebody to come home to. I know many long term couples in my age group and they are all MISERABLE. I must conclude that many people have a huge need to be coupled regardless of the circumstances.
 InnerVision303
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 504
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/10/2011 5:32:23 AM
I think there is as much wrong with people who ARE taken as with those who aren't. People get married for all the wrong reasons and then half of all marriages end in divorce.
 Sirenne
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 505
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/11/2011 12:58:19 AM
Not at all. He may be fussy, hasnt met the right one or has had bad luck in the past and is wary.... Not everyone wants to be in a partnership all the time let alone settling down.
.
 Stayton
Joined: 3/23/2011
Msg: 506
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/11/2011 5:29:08 PM
There are many reasons people over 30 are single....bad marriages, abusive relationships, and a number of any reason. But does it really matter why anyone is single...it happens in life no matter the reason or if it was by choice. Get to know a person..that's all that should matter first....not if there is a problem with a guy/woman.
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 507
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/11/2011 6:58:27 PM
Hey, there's nothing wrong with me.
Just ask any of my 11 cats.
They'll tell you!
 ChiliPequin
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 508
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/15/2011 7:27:00 PM
I don't think there's anything wrong with me, other than I won't settle. I was married to my son's father for 4 years and got out when I realized that the problems we were having were not going to get better. I've been divorced now for 7 years and have had two relationships since then. Both of them needed to end for their own reasons, not the least of which, I was miserable in them.

Am I lonely once in a while? Do I envy happily married people? Sure. But I won't stay with or marry anyone, just to have someone. Few people think like this. I know a lot of people in crappy marriages or who are dating people that are not suitable for them, because they are so afraid to confront the "single stigma." Being unhappy with someone is better to them than being content and single. My ex-husband is remarried, and it's obvious that he did solely for financial and security-related reasons. He and his wife have this "bear in a trap" look on their faces all the time, and I don't believe that they're happy together. They just had a late-life baby and purchased a home that they paid too much for before the market dropped and she lost her job, so neither of them could get out now if they wanted to. Getting out would mean they'd lose everything, and I feel bad for them. The first relationship I mentioned, the guy got married about 6 months after we broke up. Either it was a really rushed relationship, or he was cheating on me before I left him. This is a small town, and from what I understand, the woman is a desperate barfly that he picked up and that he orders around; she seems grateful that someone...anyone...wanted her. The other relationship - he has a lot of personal-life problems that I, unfortunately, can't be around, because he will not do any work on himself, and they make him extremely difficult to be with.

So...given what I just posted, what's better: staying with my available options, or continuing to look and being single for a while until I find it? I don't think there's anything wrong with me -- but there would be, had I settled for any of those relationships, or one that I know to be unhealthy.
 Angelique75
Joined: 10/5/2010
Msg: 509
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/17/2011 1:19:40 PM
I totally agree with you. I was married for 10 years and it was my decision to end it because the other half was CRAZY!!
 tacofairy
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 510
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/17/2011 7:04:38 PM
Hmm I just turned 30 last year and b/c my lack of relationship skills and such I get a lot of the "You're not getting any younger" crap. I don't believe I should settle for whatever guy comes along. I've always felt something was wrong with me when it comes to love.
 Diancarock1976
Joined: 11/23/2010
Msg: 511
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/19/2011 11:01:34 AM
I don't think there's anything wrong with any of us, accept for lack of faith and outside interest.
 moun10dew
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 512
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/3/2011 1:37:49 PM
I don't think there is anything wrong with people over 30 not taken. I'm in my 40's and am still very single. Granted...there are still a lot of things I have yet to figure out about dating...but that's about it. I agree with my friends...both male and female....I'm a pretty good (not great...but still) catch. I have a great job...I have hobbies that keep me busy...I am close to my family and friends...I care about the world around me. I just, for various reasons, haven't found the one.

However I did have one female friend that kept breaking up with her bf (at least 5 times in a 1.5 year period) due to trust issues. One day we were talking about relationships...and she told me "You know...it's not that you have anything wrong with you, because you are a great guy, it's just that you aren't meant to have anyone fall for you. Some people are meant to find that special person, but there are people out there in the world that there just isn't anyone out there for them. You are one of those people that aren't meant to find anyone. It's not good...it's not bad...and there is nothing you can do about it. Just accept the fact that you are going to be single the rest of your life and just live your life." I'll let you think about where that friendship is today.
 friendlyarcher5
Joined: 4/22/2011
Msg: 513
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/3/2011 6:44:19 PM
I don't think someone who has not been taken by thirty is a big deal, as many people who go to school when they are in their twenties often don't have a lot of time to date and get out a lot. This is something I can understand, as school is a lot of work!

However, I don't feel the same about people who are over forty and have never been in anything more than a short term relationship. At this age, this suggests a potentially serious character flaw such as being a chronic workaholic or having a serious personality disorder. Personally, I know quite a few guys like this, and I can see why they have a hard time finding and sustaining a relationship.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not trying to be harsh on these people. In fact, I put myself in this category as well, as my longest relationship was four and a half years, and I am approaching 45. My own personal flaw is that I spent so few years inside of a relationship when I was in my twenties that I developed a mild form of narcissism. Unfortunately, I love to be able to go somewhere on my own terms, so I have become a bit set in my ways in many regards.

Of course, I don't think these things mean that people like this are doomed to be single forever. It just means that it is a bit more difficult.

At least that is the way i view it....
 TruckerPohl
Joined: 11/16/2010
Msg: 514
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/4/2011 7:07:10 AM
I'm over 30 and enjoy being single. I'm one of those people that doesn't have to have someone by their side 24/7. There is nothing wrong with me i.e. I'm mentally healthy, no drama, no bs, I'm a straight shooter just waiting for "The One" I guess. I have lots of patience and faith that some day the right person will come into my life. In the mean time, I'm the one date master and just keep plugging along
 ScaredyKat2
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 516
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People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/4/2011 3:19:16 PM
Difficult to understand or they talk about pointless gossip surrounding famous people?

Guys really don't care that "the breakup" between Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt was all an act and now Heidi regrets her plastic surgery. (I actually saw that as a major headline on Yahoo News. That's right... someone actually thought this story was more interesting then natural and financial disasters across the globe. Someone needs a new job.)
 lily661
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 517
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/12/2011 4:14:44 PM
Omg I get asked that alot!!! If there is something wrong with me! I think its just bad timing thats all.
 JennieM3
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 518
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/12/2011 7:43:37 PM
I agree! I am recently over the age of 30, and feel that I just haven't found the one who makes ME happy yet. Does that make me a loser for waiting for the one that I want to settle for? I certainly hope not.
If I wanted to settle down at an earlier age, I would have. Trust me, it's easy to marry, but difficult to find the one you should be married to.
If someone is conflicted with this age, well Sheryl Crow says that 40's the new 20. I suppose that makes me 10!
All I say is don't be quick to judge, you may be surprised how cool people are who are looking for mr or miss right!
 racefios
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 519
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/13/2011 10:40:42 PM
After reading this thread I thought right away about my best friend Bill. He's one of the greatest guys I have ever known. He's got an excellent career, makes good decisions, has infinite patience with people, is completely open minded about anything you want to talk about, and I basically trust him with my life. He's a healthy, active and good looking guy too at 45. He's always been single with no children.

He gets plenty of attention from married women, especially the ones who work with him, his "work spouses", because they know he is an excellent person and always reliable. He won't go there though.

The thing is, for every ten or more guys I know who are complete schmucks--I mean, totally transparent losers and con artists--I meet a guy like Bill who has everything to offer; but the losers (the word "losers" isn't even strong enough to capture what I mean) all have multiple women pining after them while guys like Bill go it alone.

The really screwed up thing is that the losers have horrible self-esteem, and almost nothing they say about themselves can be believed; and they treat women like crap and then dump them because they don't want to belong to a club that would have them as a member. A guy like Bill, however, finds the beauty in just about every woman and wants to meet a woman who sees him the same way, but can't find any women like that at all.

I used to blame the loser men entirely for this phenomenon; but now I'm starting to think it's just as rare to find a woman with good enough self esteem to approach a really good catch like Bill rather than bottom feeding for schmucks. Bill is a lonely, very dependable, fun, secure, great guy who can't get a date precisely because no woman feels good enough to date him (unless they are already married, apparently). Meanwhile, the supreme irony is that he would deeply appreciate any woman at all who had the guts to lower her guard and show him some interest and affection, though most women are more afraid of him than they are of guys who are too immature to appreciate them. It boggles my mind.

Luckily I'm not half the man my best friend is; so I go on more dates than he does. Unfortunately it seems that I have "loser" written all over me, which attracts plenty of women initially; but the truth is I appreciate women as much as Bill does, so I can't keep one for long either before they decide THEY can't belong to a club that would have them as a member either. What to do...
 racefios
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 520
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/13/2011 10:49:21 PM
I think insecurity is a 21st Century pandemic. More and more people seem to me to be terribly insecure about themselves, mistrustful and afraid of each other, therefore dishonest with each other about really trivial shortcomings, terribly lonely yet far too stubborn to let go, open up and be friendly to each other. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who sees this, the only one who is not too uptight to be real, and that I'll be the last person on Earth to stumble into a permanent relationship because I don't know how to play cat and mouse rather than do what comes most naturally to me.
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