Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 1trueprince81
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 796
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?Page 21 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
see comments like that are the reason men over 30 are single because we are " damaged goods" but when you have been single for almost 4 years it's hard to meet a date. I haven't had a date in 4 years and I believe in chivalry so women you should try to be less judge-mental and think a guy could be as he seems. Don't over analyze us we hate that I have talk to many guys and that is one thing all men hate is when you women judge us by stupid stuff you have gone though in the past. guess what it's in the past. Men are not perfect but it's finding that man/woman who has the flaws you can live with how damaged is he if he has a bank account of over a few millon dollars?
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 797
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:42:40 AM
Regarding what bluegold said aboutl average women overrating their attractiveness, the very same thing can be said of average men . .funny how the most critical comments come from those profiles without pictures.
 Bluegold007
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 798
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:59:43 AM
Hey poster above, I agree some guys over rate their apperance as well. Heck, i'm a guy and i'm content with being average looking. I don't see the need to over rate myself. In response to no pic, simple, i'm only here for the forums and besides i take horrible pics,lol. They're embarassing if anything. Both genders over estimate their looks. However, i do think over estimate their expectations when in return, they don't have alot to offer a guy. So the real question is... What do you ladies have to offer? Your standards are so high
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 799
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 5/20/2013 8:02:47 AM
Yep, and so am I . .only here for the forums. And what do you men have to offer? Your standards are also too high.
 Bluegold007
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 800
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 5/20/2013 8:10:12 AM

Your standards are also too high

Not true. Sure we gotta be physicaly attracted to you, same goes for you women wanting men's good looks. But do we expect you to make alot as in at least 70k a year? Or have an office type job, white collar? Simple answer no. Women though expect white collar men, making 70k a year and he has to be an 7 and above.

I have alot to offer, best friendship, compaion,security, faithfullness, I have a clean bill of health, I don't have kids, but willing to start a family with the right gal.

Fact- Guys are less picky than women
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 801
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 5/20/2013 11:16:51 AM
Sorry, but what are you basing this on. .most women expect men making $70 k and above? The men I have had relationships with . .I don't go asking them what they make. As long as they are financially responsible (I am, or I wouldn't be asking for someone that is ), educated (this doesn't always translate to a degree), treat me and everyone else with respect, and as long as I'm attracted to them. I don't rate them, either. Someone's 7 could be someone's lower number.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 802
view profile
History
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 5/27/2013 9:20:34 AM
(op)

I am posting this because it was said on another message board that if a man is single and over the age of 30 and good looking, there has got to be some character flaw or some reason why he is not taken....

What is everyone elses general view on this? Do you find that there has got to be "something" wrong if someone looks in every other way a good catch, yet still hasn't settled down?

During my life, I've heard some ditsy-azzed logic about men and women, from men and women, and this is just part of that. It could be true in some instances, but not any more than in other different kinds of instances, and not that you should observe or rely on this wanna-be rule-of-thumb and think that there's ever any appreciable probability that this is the case.
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 803
view profile
History
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 5/29/2013 7:46:51 PM
Hmmmm I always wondered what people really ment when they ask for someone educated?I dont have a college degree and am highly intelligent and well versed on many subject matters and genres.
 Way2funny
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 804
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/28/2013 4:42:41 PM
Maybe years ago but if you factor in all the ways we are now steered to get jobs and travel and "find ourselves" it makes sense that many women and men are still not taken. Also too, the ones that hooked up at birth are divorcing at 30-something. So the grass isn't always greener. Older folks maybe took more time to figure out how to do it right by watching friends, family and coworkers kinda do it wrong for a bit. Now that's not a catch all. Lots 'o folks are um.. Single for a reason.
 Lone-Loser
Joined: 10/11/2012
Msg: 805
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 6/28/2013 11:27:06 PM
well.. ya...

There is 'some other reason' hes not taken. It is not a small list of 'reasons' Can be anything.

too many people are too quick to decide its 'from this bullet list' because those are the types THEY have encountered simply because those are the types they LET themselves encounter(And avoid, subconsciously, the rest)

And yes, maybe there is 'something wrong' with those of us 30+ who are untaken, but that 'wrong' thing isn't always (Is rarely) a 'bad' thing (That might be hard to understand i guess, but point is, there are an infinite amount of reasons someone could be single, at ANY age. Stereotyping it into a list of 'must be's' isn't fair to them or you)
 FloridaRes123
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 806
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/7/2013 11:56:43 AM

too many people are too quick to decide its 'from this bullet list' because those are the types THEY have encountered simply because those are the types they LET themselves encounter(And avoid, subconsciously, the rest)


Yeah, I have seen some "lists" that go on for a page and a half on these dating profiles. It seems some people are deliberately looking for a reason not to date someone and it's usually over something insignificant.
 intreeg
Joined: 4/27/2013
Msg: 807
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/8/2013 7:36:08 AM
I'm 33 and consider myself a very good catch. I'm emotionally stable, well-educated from relatively prestigious universities, successful, self-made, ambitious, and single. I've been in 4 long-term relationships that did not include marriage but were headed that way when things turned south. I only delayed marriage because I wanted to be responsible and stable before doing so. I feel like I'm being punished for it. In fact, I've been cheated on by every one of my exes. I understand that I may have done something to make them want to go out and cheat, but none of them would help me understand what, nor was I given any warning. And now, I haven't dated a woman over 30 who isn't damaged in some way and that is a strong reason why I haven't been able to finally settle down despite wanting to. You tell me, are all women over 30 damaged? It stands to reason that single people in their 30's might having something wrong with them- but I think I'm still single because I'm one of a few that has something right with him.
 af895
Joined: 7/3/2013
Msg: 810
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/20/2013 1:16:49 PM
I'd wager many (most?) people who are over 30 and single were, at some point in time, "not single." Why would we assume these people suddenly become "broken" when they find themselves single again, over 30? Everyone's got a history.


Man, I didn't realize how important it is for someone to have a car :D

I got rid of mine when I moved to a city with excellent public transportation and don't miss it a bit. I also don't expect a man to drive me around, I can get around just fine on my own :)


I've noticed too how many people view car ownership as a deal breaker.

I think I understand why people post that as a red flag: they don't want to be around people who expect to be chauffeured. When I owned a car, I resented people assuming I would drive them around. (especially when they didn't offer to kick in a few dollars for gas) I ditched the car recently and am now a member of a car-share program so I get around fine without help and often turn down rides if only to assert my independence.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 811
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/20/2013 9:22:20 PM
Wrong?

Why does it have to be that there is something wrong if person is still single? Makes it sound like we are broken people once we hit 30. No wonder lots of people have an issue with aging.
 Just_Bopping_Around
Joined: 6/28/2013
Msg: 812
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/21/2013 8:25:15 AM
First of all, congratulations on your education and getting a high paying job.

I'm 33 and consider myself a very good catch...I think I'm still single because I'm one of a few that has something right with him.



I haven't dated a woman over 30 who isn't damaged in some way...You tell me, are all women over 30 damaged? It stands to reason that single people in their 30's might having something wrong with them..


Ah yes, nothing wrong with you. It's the rest of the world that's screwed up. Also, when dating it's best not to look for someone that you're compatible with and enjoy their company, but to think of yourself as a very good catch for other women.


I've been in 4 long-term relationships that were headed [to marriage] when things turned south. I only delayed marriage because I wanted to be responsible and stable before doing so. I feel like I'm being punished for it. In fact, I've been cheated on by every one of my exes. I understand that I may have done something to make them want to go out and cheat, but none of them would help me understand what, nor was I given any warning.

You're 33 and almost been married *four* times and everyone of them ended with them cheating on you and going bad and you have no idea why, but the *only* reason you didn't get married was because you wanted to be responsible and stable first?

What is the only commonality between all four situations? You. Of course, you write, I'm still single because I'm one of the few that has something right with them. You might want to re-think your hypothesis. If you're a financial analysis, you crunch numbers for a living. Try crunching the numbers in your personal life, you might come up with a slightly less-delusional answer.

Between your studies, entry into the corporate world and guitar playing, how much effort have you put into your social / love life? You think that excites women to hear 'I don't want to be responsible and wait to be more serious until I'm more stable'?

Focus on love and compatibility and happiness and you might not have so many women ditching you without you having clue.


I understand that I may have done something to make them want to go out and cheat, but none of them would help me understand what...

People aren't P/L statements. They don't give you detailed analyses of strengths and weaknesses at the conclusion of a relationship. Social skills are different than accounting, you sort of have to figure it out on your own.


Financial analysis involves elements of politics, society, history, art, economics, science, and culture. What I do is examine points where these things intersect, and determine how to best allocate resources to the benefit of everyone. That excites me.

You're a fancy (okay, high powered) accountant. Determining what works and doesn't from an accounting perspective. Yes, yes there are different methods of doing that. Comparative, ratio, horizontal, vertical, fundamental analysis... But you're still a glorified accountant. Involving society and culture? Art? History? science? How best to allocate resources for your company, sure. That's an important job, no doubt about it. But you determine how best to allocate resources to the benefit of *everyone*?? Really? I had no idea that your allocation of resources in Salt Lake City benefited me.


I don't know why, but compassion seems so rare to me today.

I see it each and every day. Try getting away from the corporate world and your single-malt scotch and you're likely to find more compassion.

Every strength has a corresponding weakness. Strong willed and assertive can be stubborn. Independent can be stand offish and pull away. Willing to stand up for yourself can be pushy. Intelligent and educated can be a know it all. Hard working and dedicated can be absentee lover.

You *have* accomplished a lot on your short time on this planet, but try looking harder for the good in other people, while recognizing the flip side to your strengths and avoiding the crazies while dating.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 813
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 7/29/2013 4:43:29 PM
I am posting this because it was said on another message board that if a man is single and over the age of 30 and good looking, there has got to be some character flaw or some reason why he is not taken....

And all guys who are taken are great? Never heard of a gal-pal's BF or husband being a d!ck? :)

Getting into a Relationship, by itself, takes little talent & stock-price.

Do you find that there has got to be "something" wrong if someone looks in every other way a good catch, yet still hasn't settled down?

Just because they're single in-the-now doesn't mean they haven't yet settled down. They could have, but wisely broke up. Those that do -- are they worse 'catches' than incompatible couples still together in-the-now?

I think it's that great catches become more taken, %-wise, once you get past the mid-20s -- whether they're in a great or not-so-great relationship/marriage.

Also, when getting older, one can be a great catch -- but more baggage has built up over time. More people have kids, so those without kids don't want to get involved. Or there's too many with young kids while the other wants the kids to be grown enough like theirs, etc.

And also, when older, people tend to be more picky if their biological clock isn't ticking away so crazily. But again, if one's single at 35 or 45, it doesn't mean they've never been in a settled-down Relationship before.
 ll1993
Joined: 8/10/2013
Msg: 814
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/14/2013 10:34:04 AM
I search men 40-50 and don't bother with the never-married's. Clearly, they will not commit, are momma's boys or gay (not that there's anything wrong with that, but get on a different site.)
There's something wrong with ALL of us, otherwise we probably wouldn't be on here. Some people are just unrealistic and looking for a flawless match, and there's no such thing. And anyone who gives up on someone right away b/c of one flaw (that's not morally or legally wrong) is not serious about finding a mate.
Everyone's crazy in their own way; the trick is compromise or to find someone just as crazy as you. :) Good luck! I've only been on for 4 days, and I'm done!
 ll1993
Joined: 8/10/2013
Msg: 815
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/14/2013 10:35:07 AM
Don't be silly! There's something wrong with them!
 EnterprisingTechie
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 816
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2013 8:05:31 PM
I think in my case it could be one of a few things:

- Could be I spent too much time trying to get an education and now I'm a bit past my prime.

- Perhaps I send the wrong message, or perhaps I'm unattractive, but when reading the entire ad and giving a detailed reply isn't enough to get you the time of day, then something is definitely wrong. Or perhaps the ones I approach are basically the same as those girls who sit in singles bars turning down every guy who approaches them, and then brags to their friends about how they're so good that they can turn down so many guys they don't even know but are "clearly losers".

- I saw in the news recently about some guy who had 30 or so kids, with 11 different women, no career to speak of, been in and out of jail a few times...It's quite possible that this is what American women prefer. Sure you could say one or two, but 11? Yeah... I'm even sure most of these women say they don't want players - yet here we are. I've looked on Craigslist and elsewhere, so many single mothers, some never married. Not saying all American women are that way, but it may be that those who aren't are the exception rather than the rule.

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2012/05/21/30-children-child-support-desmond-hatchett

This guy is by definition the alpha male, and if this is the future of America, then I'm definitely looking in the wrong place. Or more precisely, I've run out of time looking for that needle in the haystack, and perhaps it's time for greener pastures.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 817
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2013 10:11:14 PM

I search men 40-50 and don't bother with the never-married's. Clearly, they will not commit, are momma's boys or gay

While I agree with you statistically, if you're doing a blind draw, I disagree with the notion that you assume they're all like that IRL. One thing though: being a momma's boy alone is not going to make a guy not get married. Him being a very poor catch and him accepting that fact would probably make him not fly out of the nest (thus still being a mammas boy).

With that out of the way, the non-commits (or gay) -- sure. Statistically, I agree. But the question of why haven't you been married before can come up as a more expected question, so you can begin to gauge whether they're in the minority rather quickly. Some people do have stories as to why... maybe they were in a 20 year relationship with someone who didn't believe in marriage and since they weren't a traditionalist they didn't mind that. Or maybe they ran or helped run an international business and didn't want a "plastic wife", had LTRs, but were honest with themselves that they wouldn't make a good father traveling so much and being so involved.

And of course, marriage isn't a requirement for commitment. You can find people who were married and because of a bad divorce do Not want to get married again -- and they can be longing for a relationship at the same time -- so it's not about commitment but about having gone thru legal paperwork hell, etc. And of course those who are NOT commitment-friendly because of going thru all that.

Would a guy who got married out of high school for 3 years, and never had a relationship beyond 1 year after that, be assumed to be more commitment-oriented than a guy who never got married but has had LTRs living with women, etc?

Or how about someone having gone thru 3 divorces already? Or someone who endured a 25 year marriage where 22 years of it was hell but he/she stuck with it anyway?

I think every situation should be taken on a case-by-case basis... yes, Many are going to fit a common reason/circumstance. But not all. And it isn't just about those who've never been married or are currently single at a later age.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 818
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/19/2013 7:02:10 AM
I look at the men who are over thirty and not married yet as being the most intelligent of the men . In this day and age where females are initiating a record number of divorces in a legal and social system that promotes this behavior , males need to be very careful . The legal and social systems have become so heavily tilted in the favor of the females there are really not any viable reasons for men to get married any longer . Now with some states starting to pass co habitation laws , men have to exercise even more care about even living with a female .
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 819
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/19/2013 1:04:36 PM

I search men 40-50 and don't bother with the never-married's. Clearly, they will not commit, are momma's boys or gay (not that there's anything wrong with that, but get on a different site.)


And you know all of this how, please explain?

Maybe they haven't fallen for the same thing everyone else has, or haven't found the right person to commit with? oh wait right, you have us all figured out, forgot........(rollseyes).



There's something wrong with ALL of us, otherwise we probably wouldn't be on here.


Truthfully, I'm not at all surprised a person such as yourself is here and can't find anyone.


Some people are just unrealistic and looking for a flawless match


Maybe you bumped your head half way through typing this, because I agree with you on this. Same w/folks who have extremely high standards/lists of prerequisites before they'll even chat with you.



and there's no such thing.


Again, agreed, but try telling them this? Doesn't work.


And anyone who gives up on someone right away b/c of one flaw (that's not morally or legally wrong) is not serious about finding a mate.


Agreed. or those who give up on someone because their friends say so, or their parents say so....etc. Not dating them, dating YOU, all that matters is what YOU think really.


Everyone's crazy in their own way;


Some more than others to an extent, so you're right here.




the trick is compromise or to find someone just as crazy as you. :)


Yep, willing to put up with all of your shit, and you theirs, and you've found your match.


Good luck! I've only been on for 4 days, and I'm done!



Good luck to you.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 820
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/19/2013 2:26:55 PM

I look at the men who are over thirty and not married yet as being the most intelligent of the men . In this day and age where females are initiating a record number of divorces in a legal and social system that promotes this behavior , males need to be very careful . The legal and social systems have become so heavily tilted in the favor of the females there are really not any viable reasons for men to get married any longer . Now with some states starting to pass co habitation laws , men have to exercise even more care about even living with a female .


Okay Proteaus we get it for gawds sake, quit posting it on every damn thread. You hate women and they are all out for money!.

BACK TO THE TOPIC.

Over 30, nothing really wrong with that. Takes time to get an education, start a career, sow some wild oats. Neither men or women are quite so interested in settling down early these days. Probably a good thing, I suspect with people getting married older, we will start to see the divorce rates go down. Why? Because they are more mature and more sure of what they want out of life. So someone well over 40 might be an issue but I would say that 30 is the new 20 and all is good for relationships.
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 821
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/19/2013 4:41:42 PM
Okay Proteaus we get it for gawds sake, quit posting it on every damn thread. You hate women and they are all out for money!.



Where did he/anyone post "in every thread" where they said this? With that said, why is it that this person is being questioned for giving other men sound advice? I feel the same way he does as far as what he said. We'll NEVER agree on that obviously, but I still can't seem to find where it was wrong for him or anyone to voice their opinions, and for saying why they don;t wish to marry, care to explain??

I'm also trying to find out how he supposedly "hates women" because of what he said, care to explain this as well?

He also DID NOT SAY ANYWHERE, "all women" were this way, did he? no, he did not, and please point out where he did such a thing?

Oh wait, right, we're all 'women haters/angry/bitter men"........NO, just smart.



Over 30, nothing really wrong with that.


Nothing wrong with it at ANY age, is there? no.


Takes time to get an education, start a career, sow some wild oats.


And part of that education, means to make good, sound, business/life decisions, that may/may not jive with what everyone else is doing, right? of course. I think Protreus, says just a thing and you seem to have issues with it.


Neither men or women are quite so interested in settling down early these days.


Men especially i would imagine, since there's really no benefit in it for them is there? not really. Not everyone wants to get married and have kids, I don;t "get" why so many folks have issues with that.


Probably a good thing, I suspect with people getting married older, we will start to see the divorce rates go down.


You might be right, but doubtful. As long as there's some sort of gain for someone, divorce will always occur. Mostly divorces are for gain.......that's it basically.


Why? Because they are more mature and more sure of what they want out of life


Right, and what i want out of life is to not have to: check in whereever I go, whoever I do something with, etc. Who wants that? who wants to have to call home and tell your so everything you're doing, and you can;t do this or that because they don't like it? I and many others don't. There are those who do, and good for them too.


So someone well over 40 might be an issue


Why?.....explain?



but I would say that 30 is the new 20 and all is good for relationships.



Huh?
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  >