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 ll1993
Joined: 8/10/2013
Msg: 815
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?Page 26 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Don't be silly! There's something wrong with them!
 EnterprisingTechie
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 816
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2013 8:05:31 PM
I think in my case it could be one of a few things:

- Could be I spent too much time trying to get an education and now I'm a bit past my prime.

- Perhaps I send the wrong message, or perhaps I'm unattractive, but when reading the entire ad and giving a detailed reply isn't enough to get you the time of day, then something is definitely wrong. Or perhaps the ones I approach are basically the same as those girls who sit in singles bars turning down every guy who approaches them, and then brags to their friends about how they're so good that they can turn down so many guys they don't even know but are "clearly losers".

- I saw in the news recently about some guy who had 30 or so kids, with 11 different women, no career to speak of, been in and out of jail a few times...It's quite possible that this is what American women prefer. Sure you could say one or two, but 11? Yeah... I'm even sure most of these women say they don't want players - yet here we are. I've looked on Craigslist and elsewhere, so many single mothers, some never married. Not saying all American women are that way, but it may be that those who aren't are the exception rather than the rule.

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2012/05/21/30-children-child-support-desmond-hatchett

This guy is by definition the alpha male, and if this is the future of America, then I'm definitely looking in the wrong place. Or more precisely, I've run out of time looking for that needle in the haystack, and perhaps it's time for greener pastures.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 817
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/18/2013 10:11:14 PM

I search men 40-50 and don't bother with the never-married's. Clearly, they will not commit, are momma's boys or gay

While I agree with you statistically, if you're doing a blind draw, I disagree with the notion that you assume they're all like that IRL. One thing though: being a momma's boy alone is not going to make a guy not get married. Him being a very poor catch and him accepting that fact would probably make him not fly out of the nest (thus still being a mammas boy).

With that out of the way, the non-commits (or gay) -- sure. Statistically, I agree. But the question of why haven't you been married before can come up as a more expected question, so you can begin to gauge whether they're in the minority rather quickly. Some people do have stories as to why... maybe they were in a 20 year relationship with someone who didn't believe in marriage and since they weren't a traditionalist they didn't mind that. Or maybe they ran or helped run an international business and didn't want a "plastic wife", had LTRs, but were honest with themselves that they wouldn't make a good father traveling so much and being so involved.

And of course, marriage isn't a requirement for commitment. You can find people who were married and because of a bad divorce do Not want to get married again -- and they can be longing for a relationship at the same time -- so it's not about commitment but about having gone thru legal paperwork hell, etc. And of course those who are NOT commitment-friendly because of going thru all that.

Would a guy who got married out of high school for 3 years, and never had a relationship beyond 1 year after that, be assumed to be more commitment-oriented than a guy who never got married but has had LTRs living with women, etc?

Or how about someone having gone thru 3 divorces already? Or someone who endured a 25 year marriage where 22 years of it was hell but he/she stuck with it anyway?

I think every situation should be taken on a case-by-case basis... yes, Many are going to fit a common reason/circumstance. But not all. And it isn't just about those who've never been married or are currently single at a later age.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 818
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/19/2013 7:02:10 AM
I look at the men who are over thirty and not married yet as being the most intelligent of the men . In this day and age where females are initiating a record number of divorces in a legal and social system that promotes this behavior , males need to be very careful . The legal and social systems have become so heavily tilted in the favor of the females there are really not any viable reasons for men to get married any longer . Now with some states starting to pass co habitation laws , men have to exercise even more care about even living with a female .
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 819
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/19/2013 1:04:36 PM

I search men 40-50 and don't bother with the never-married's. Clearly, they will not commit, are momma's boys or gay (not that there's anything wrong with that, but get on a different site.)


And you know all of this how, please explain?

Maybe they haven't fallen for the same thing everyone else has, or haven't found the right person to commit with? oh wait right, you have us all figured out, forgot........(rollseyes).



There's something wrong with ALL of us, otherwise we probably wouldn't be on here.


Truthfully, I'm not at all surprised a person such as yourself is here and can't find anyone.


Some people are just unrealistic and looking for a flawless match


Maybe you bumped your head half way through typing this, because I agree with you on this. Same w/folks who have extremely high standards/lists of prerequisites before they'll even chat with you.



and there's no such thing.


Again, agreed, but try telling them this? Doesn't work.


And anyone who gives up on someone right away b/c of one flaw (that's not morally or legally wrong) is not serious about finding a mate.


Agreed. or those who give up on someone because their friends say so, or their parents say so....etc. Not dating them, dating YOU, all that matters is what YOU think really.


Everyone's crazy in their own way;


Some more than others to an extent, so you're right here.




the trick is compromise or to find someone just as crazy as you. :)


Yep, willing to put up with all of your shit, and you theirs, and you've found your match.


Good luck! I've only been on for 4 days, and I'm done!



Good luck to you.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 820
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/19/2013 2:26:55 PM

I look at the men who are over thirty and not married yet as being the most intelligent of the men . In this day and age where females are initiating a record number of divorces in a legal and social system that promotes this behavior , males need to be very careful . The legal and social systems have become so heavily tilted in the favor of the females there are really not any viable reasons for men to get married any longer . Now with some states starting to pass co habitation laws , men have to exercise even more care about even living with a female .


Okay Proteaus we get it for gawds sake, quit posting it on every damn thread. You hate women and they are all out for money!.

BACK TO THE TOPIC.

Over 30, nothing really wrong with that. Takes time to get an education, start a career, sow some wild oats. Neither men or women are quite so interested in settling down early these days. Probably a good thing, I suspect with people getting married older, we will start to see the divorce rates go down. Why? Because they are more mature and more sure of what they want out of life. So someone well over 40 might be an issue but I would say that 30 is the new 20 and all is good for relationships.
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 821
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/19/2013 4:41:42 PM
Okay Proteaus we get it for gawds sake, quit posting it on every damn thread. You hate women and they are all out for money!.



Where did he/anyone post "in every thread" where they said this? With that said, why is it that this person is being questioned for giving other men sound advice? I feel the same way he does as far as what he said. We'll NEVER agree on that obviously, but I still can't seem to find where it was wrong for him or anyone to voice their opinions, and for saying why they don;t wish to marry, care to explain??

I'm also trying to find out how he supposedly "hates women" because of what he said, care to explain this as well?

He also DID NOT SAY ANYWHERE, "all women" were this way, did he? no, he did not, and please point out where he did such a thing?

Oh wait, right, we're all 'women haters/angry/bitter men"........NO, just smart.



Over 30, nothing really wrong with that.


Nothing wrong with it at ANY age, is there? no.


Takes time to get an education, start a career, sow some wild oats.


And part of that education, means to make good, sound, business/life decisions, that may/may not jive with what everyone else is doing, right? of course. I think Protreus, says just a thing and you seem to have issues with it.


Neither men or women are quite so interested in settling down early these days.


Men especially i would imagine, since there's really no benefit in it for them is there? not really. Not everyone wants to get married and have kids, I don;t "get" why so many folks have issues with that.


Probably a good thing, I suspect with people getting married older, we will start to see the divorce rates go down.


You might be right, but doubtful. As long as there's some sort of gain for someone, divorce will always occur. Mostly divorces are for gain.......that's it basically.


Why? Because they are more mature and more sure of what they want out of life


Right, and what i want out of life is to not have to: check in whereever I go, whoever I do something with, etc. Who wants that? who wants to have to call home and tell your so everything you're doing, and you can;t do this or that because they don't like it? I and many others don't. There are those who do, and good for them too.


So someone well over 40 might be an issue


Why?.....explain?



but I would say that 30 is the new 20 and all is good for relationships.



Huh?
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 824
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 8/24/2013 10:59:00 PM
I am 34, my longest relationships have been about 4 months. My goal in life since I was younger was to be the father that I never had, which includes staying with the mother. The older I get, the less realistic of a goal this becomes. So yes, there is something wrong with me. I've become the type of person in which I'd like to attract, yet I am still not good enough.
 milkloverx
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 825
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 9/13/2013 2:34:22 AM
Im 38 and have never been married. I dont have kids either. Im also not one to date a thousand women but cant seem to find the right one. I dont think this says there is something wrong with me. Although, there seems to be something about my profile that women dont like. I might be a mismatch for most indiana women. You might call that a flaw on my part.
 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 826
view profile
History
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 9/13/2013 3:59:57 PM
Nothing wrong with us singles. There may be many reasons why a person is not taken. One has to get to know each person on a case by case basis.

Now I gotta go take my meds...
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 828
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 9/17/2013 9:15:41 PM
I'm 47 which is a heck of a lot over 30 and I'm not taken.

Yup, there's something wrong with me :)



(mind you there WAS that little matter of that tiny 22 year marriage..the question wasn't if we've never been taken, right?)
 Jason022679
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 829
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 9/20/2013 6:59:20 PM
I'm over 30, nice house, MBA, great career, good head on my shoulder, no kids, never married, don't cheat or lie and am very happy. I go golfing every week, take the boat out fishing, buy anything I want, do anything I want...the only responsibility I have other than work is mowing my grass...on my riding mower which I love. Now if I could find half those qualities in a girl I would be married as I have been in numerous 3 and 4yr relationships. Funny how if you've been divorced you're normal but if you've never been married you must be broken. How times have changed.
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 830
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 9/20/2013 10:46:07 PM
^^^^ LOL, I agree Jason, makes no sense.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 831
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 9/21/2013 6:46:13 AM

What is everyone elses general view on this? Do you find that there has got to be "something" wrong if someone looks in every other way a good catch, yet still hasn't settled down?


Of course there is something wrong with them!!!!! They probably have a brain and know how to use it. Phuckers. How dare they!!!!!!
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 832
view profile
History
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 10/31/2013 12:42:29 PM
I am over 30 and I am not taken and want a normal LTR relationship.

I do not think something is wrong with me .

In my little man mind I am absolutely perfect for any woman.

It is just the ones I meet do not want the same thing or or leave for another guy, susually the other guy is a bottom feeder in a sewer pipe, they must like the smell hehehehe
 patchman1313
Joined: 8/18/2013
Msg: 833
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 10/31/2013 11:28:28 PM
There is nothing wrong with people who are not taken. Look at the divorce rates, many people "take" the wrong one anyway. I feel that it is getting harder and harder to meet women. Just like on this site where there are many more single guys than girls, the real life dating scene is becoming the same way. When I go to bars and clubs I see many guys standing around alone and most of the girls that are there are with a guy. You will see some small groups of ladies together and most of the time they have rings on their fingers or say that they have a boyfriend. Some can even be very flirtatious and eager, but ultimately they are still taken. I have even seen a few guys hanging around a group of girls and making out with almost all the girls in that group and those girls not talking to any other guys. So I guess it's better to share the stud than settle for the others? Bottom line is that for the most part people and the world are f-ed up. Don't know what they want and are always looking for the better deal. I met a great girl on this site and I consider myself lucky, thats all, I am not special just lucky that she picked me.
ATB Patchman
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 834
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 10/31/2013 11:40:24 PM

There is nothing wrong with people who are not taken.

Not taken or Never taken? Big Difference. A fool will stay taken for the sake of it -- much like someone who wants an LTR for the sake of it (but later on realizes that wasn't a good idea; marriage or not).

Sometimes the "problem" with someone 30+ who's Never had an LTR (again, Sometimes) is because of other circumstances of traveling, horrible luck merely in That dept but no bitterness, etc -- where they are a good catch.

But especially in the more modern era, in more modern environments like big cities, if you're 30+ and (merely) never married -- why would someone assume something wrong, as opposed to divorced? What -- if you got married at 19 for a year and divorced because it was a bad idea, that puts you in a better place with a mutual 30-something year old who didn't have that?

To be fair, there are people who have issues who can't hold a Relationship. That's what people, when 30+ want to avoid when scoping the singles scene. But also to be fair, those who are the modern types who have dodged bullets and can falsely appear to be lumped in that category.

At 30+ one should also know how to read others, to see where the other person's at -- so it's less of a controversy. Merely not being married or in a 5+ year relationship at 30+ is Very Different than someone who never dated a gal past 3 months.
 atebungles
Joined: 12/27/2013
Msg: 835
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 1/11/2014 2:55:42 AM
So are we saying for those of us that are in our mid 30s not good looking, Never been taken, But have good personality's...!!!! We are the scum of the earth??? Are we really doomed???

OHHHH NOOOO THATS MUST BE ME.....

Been TAKEN sounds like .......Attacked by a Shark....

So maybe we are just lucky???????

 atebungles
Joined: 12/27/2013
Msg: 836
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 1/14/2014 10:05:47 PM
Yes I have a few relations that experienced the same problem went off and married as early as they were allowed to.
Only to find out 30 something yrs. later they were never really compatible...
I always remember them yelling and arguing...

They got a divorce, Never speak avoid each other when they can, even though they have 3 teenage kids... pretty sad really...

With all that said I still love them, Individually they are both great people...
Did manage to bring there children up with a descent amount of respect despite there problems...

But in all it actually makes me think I am smarter then most....

Despite what I have not experienced...
Yet from what I have witnessed.
Life could be worse.

So what ever is wrong with me, It may have done me more good then bad..
 DiezelPhoenix
Joined: 5/15/2013
Msg: 837
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 1/17/2014 9:54:40 AM
If there is something wrong with me, then I don't ever want to be right.

My sister is nearing 30, hasn't married and is in a great relationship.
All of my cousins/friends who got married in their early 20's are either now divorced or really unhappy in their relationships.
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 838
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 1/18/2014 9:45:26 AM
I search men 40-50 and don't bother with the never-married's. Clearly, they will not commit, are momma's boys or gay


This is a very broad generalization. There are many different reason(s) why someone hasn't been married by a certain age. Not all of them are bad. Some people decided to focus on their career, education, and/or other things when they were younger. Perhaps they were in a LTR and their partner died or cheated on them. Or some people simply preferred to remain single.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 839
view profile
History
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 3/6/2014 8:07:57 PM

JHparkes wrote:

Hi

I am posting this because it was said on another message board that if a man is single and over the age of 30 and good looking, there has got to be some character flaw or some reason why he is not taken....

What is everyone elses general view on this? Do you find that there has got to be "something" wrong if someone looks in every other way a good catch, yet still hasn't settled down?


How about those of us who have most everything going for us, but are just plain ugly? Of course at least it's obvious why guys like us have never even dated, let alone settled with anyone.
 atebungles
Joined: 12/27/2013
Msg: 840
People over 30 that are not taken - something wrong with them?
Posted: 3/7/2014 5:30:35 PM
Totally agree!!!! People forget about that.
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