Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 2
view profile
bad first datePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Sorry about your bad experience, OP.

But you can't filter out people with bad manners and poor social skills -- until the first time they exhibit them.

It's also likely that her rude behavior had nothing to do with you or your looks.

Just keep finshin' -- and better luck next time.

Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 4
view profile
bad first date
Posted: 11/15/2009 12:35:21 PM
Wow, never had that happen to me, that's pretty bad. I could understand not wanting to tell you to your face that it wasn't going to work, but to actually ditch out on you mid date? That's pretty low in my books.

There really isn't anyway to filter "runners" out. I doubt that it's that common of an occurence, so I wouldn't worry too much about it happening again. But if it does happen again, well, I guess they've filtered themselves out for you.

I guess the moral of the story is, there's no way to truly know how someone really is until you meet them - and by then it's too late to filter them out.

Just keep at it. I gets easier as you go.
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 5
view profile
bad first date
Posted: 11/15/2009 12:35:24 PM
msg1. Don't feel bad about those dates, you can not filter people 's intentions, but expect the unexpected.. I even have a date that scared me of my life, it is the experience that makes us a better and wiser person, until we meet our match.. Good luck. Vannili
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 6
view profile
bad first date
Posted: 11/15/2009 12:38:32 PM
Don't worry man, that's not a bad rejection. Wait till you get the no shows, gamers and scammers. Be glad she didn't take you for a chunk of change.
bad first date
Posted: 11/15/2009 12:41:56 PM
the lessons:

1. no matter how straightforward people say they will be, don't be surprised to learn otherwise.
2. if you tell her you're not good enough for her, expect her to agree by her actions, if not her words.
3. any excuse to leave your presence on a first meet or first date is probably a blowoff.
4. don't invest any emotions or expectations in a first meet. it's not a date any more than having your ID checked by a bouncer is.
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 10
bad first date
Posted: 11/15/2009 12:44:07 PM
It is truly awkward to find yourself with no attraction whatsoever to the person sitting across from you. I still can' t imagine just getting up as if to go the restroom or her lame excuse and never returning. Some people's children.

she had done a runner

I now feel a need to watch Logan's Run.
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 15
bad first date
Posted: 11/15/2009 1:42:41 PM
join the club. it could have been worse. you could have married her and then had the same exact text messaged to you.

Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 19
bad first date
Posted: 11/15/2009 4:56:06 PM
OP: She saw pictures of you, so I don't understand why she was so surprised. Did you post pictures of yourself that were recent?

You told her "you are way out of my league"? Nothing like exuding "confidence". Stop doing that!

Her actions were tasteless and rude, unless you were deceitful with your pictures. At which point, you did not deserve any consideration if you false advertised.

You can't filter how someone is going to act/react when there is no attraction. Just keep positive and fishing away!
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 22
bad first date
Posted: 11/15/2009 10:49:32 PM
watch the new movie out spread with ashton kutcher you will feel better. Yeah that sucks dude. Its funny when i read these posts i always assume everyone on here is from the US until i here something like "her mates" or flat. lol. She has no class, no class at all. Don't think about it twice. Thats why god invented chocolate and vanilla ice cream. Everyone doesn't like the same flavor. But definitely think of it as her loss anytime that happens and erase it from your mind or you will be thinking about it and posting forums about gday mate.
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 25
bad first date
Posted: 11/16/2009 8:01:59 AM
if you feel uncomfortable with women who are too attractive for you do yourself a favor and look for one with more personality and less looks.

she played with you like a shark plays with a seal before ripping it apart. she had that all planned out beforehand. she would have broken your heart had you fell for her.

count yourself lucky.
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 33
bad first date
Posted: 11/24/2009 9:18:38 PM
You can't really filter these kind of people out, and you just have to accept that this sort of thing just happens. The main thing is for you not to lose your confidence and self esteem, because it is not just you, but these people will be rude to others as well. Obvisouly she thought she was something so special and didn't have the decency to say it won't work out. Forget these kind of people. It goes both ways as well. Unfortunately, not much you can do about it as you never really know how a woman or man will respond once they meet you face to face.

I have to admit that I have been on several dates when I felt like making a runner, but I never did. However, I remember one man in particular, that I met and after 15 -20 minutes, the date was going so bad, and he was so not my type, that I just got up and told him look, it's not going to work out, and I just left.

Another date I had was so bad, that I excused myself to the ladies room, and then I texted a friend and told him to call me in 5 minutes and just go along with me. I went back to the table, he called me, and I made up some excuse and talked to him like some emgergency came up and I had to leave. My friend was on to it right away and played along with me. I told the guy something like sorry, my friend is in trouble and I have to go immediately. He said ok, and then I left. Not nice I know, but I had to be bailed out of this one. Only time it happened to me. I couldn't bare spending the whole time of having a meal with him, it was so terrible.
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 34
bad first date
Posted: 10/29/2012 12:20:16 PM
Try some soft of video conferencing like Skype. If she can tolerate your pixelated and distorted image in a video, you're good to go!
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 37
bad first date
Posted: 10/29/2012 4:36:48 PM
I just wanted to get an opinion on a first date that i had here, i met a girl that i had been chatting to for a while, and she seemed really nice, she saw pics of me and i had told her that she was way out of my league, bet her response to that was "its about the person and not the looks"

prior to the date , we had agreed that if we did not fancy each other we were just to say it out and laugh about it.

On the date we had two drinks and then she said a mate was coming to pick up their phone that they had left at her house.. she left with a back in a minute, next thing i got a text saying "sorry ur a nice guy but not for me" she had done a runner. i felt so rejected and so so low, and it was really damaging to my self esteem.

well i am here again willing to give this anther go... so my question is how do i filter these type out?

Dude - do you know PATHETIC this SOUNDS? You DO NOT tell a woman:
1) SHE IS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE (only an unattractive woman that nobody wants to date would DATE DOWN)
2) IF WE DID NOT FANCY EACH OTHER WE SHOULD SAY IT. (You should know this from how the date is going and this shows NO confidence at all. It also says you don't have any self-respect to tolerate something like this from someone)
3) Phone LEFT at HER HOUSE? I bet you this person was male.. smh...

ASSUMING you did everything right minus the self-pity and deprecating and she did the phone thing, then you should have told her that you don't want her to have to rush and that she should go back for her phone. You will reschedule for another time and then hang your phone up. Call her in a week..and then invite her out again.

It'll show you have some backbone and confidence for not taking this crap and that you time worth respecting.

P.S. - It apparently went swoosh over everyone's head that this woman used him for some free alcohol before meeting the guy who she was boning last night for a second round of action since OP engaged in self-pity. You were used for free liquor.
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 46
bad first date
Posted: 10/30/2012 9:05:00 AM
I'm sure the OP has moved on since this is an old post that was dredged up for some reason from 09...
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 47
bad first date
Posted: 11/1/2012 3:59:59 AM
An ugly face don't mean a pretty heart either...remember it goes both ways.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >