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 OxDrover
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 52
Prison datingPage 8 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
If you read the biography of Jeffry Dahlmer (can't remember just how it is spelled) at his death they found out that he had been corresponding with 14 women and telling each one thqt he was IN LOVE WITH them and planned to marry them in a prison ceremony (even though he would never, ever get out!) Supposedly, when he was killed he had "found jesus" and was a very active "Christian"--the minister who wrote the book thought Jef was sincere, but he couldn't understand the letters. These people are sociopaths (not all criminals are sociopaths) but the ones who prey on women who are lonely, desperate and dysfunctional who think they can "fix" these people--they are manipulators DELUX grade.

Not all criminals are "mean" but all have violated social norms (Granted there are a few innocent ones in there) but in general, people who have been in prison for long numbers of years are not well adjusted when they get out. If they went in as young adults or children and come out as middle aged people, they have learned methods of survival in prison that do not "play well" on the outside. Many prisoners are mentally ill, others have personality disorders which can be dangerous and I think the statistics are that they are 5X more likely to have those disorders.

Life is difficult for prisoners when they get out. Jobs are hard to come by, most are broke and alone if they have spent any time in there. Family, friends, spouse etc have moved on with their lives, their kids have grown up without them, etc. The FEW who come out and have support can make it sometimes, but many don't--they have unrealistic views of what life on the outside will be, don't have the skills to achieve this fantasy and go back to a dysfunctional lifestyle.

While I realize that there are SOME that get out and do well, the VAST majority don't. Why would anyone risk this? The odds a re bad enough getting involved with someone who has not gone to prison.
 vhdc
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 53
Prison dating
Posted: 3/2/2007 11:51:42 AM
There are no givens in life. Some go on to live without committing further crimes. However, why the hell would I bother with someone in prison? The fact you got there in the first place is more than enough evidence for me that we are not on the same page no matter the circumstances.
 tjbama1
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 54
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History
Prison dating
Posted: 12/21/2007 7:21:56 AM
I always figured I would never do something like that. After working in a prison, some of these guys are bad news, but some of them just messed up. Alot of them are in there for things most of us have done and just didn't get caught. These are just men and you would have to be very patient with them once they come home because there is a period of adjustment. Follow your heart is all I can say.
 clambroth
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 55
Prison dating
Posted: 12/23/2007 7:25:50 PM
You can't date anyone in prison unless there are conjugal visits. How do you date someone behind bars? Huh?
 fxst2003
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 56
Prison dating
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:34:08 AM
Well I had just read some of you peoples comments, and I'll tell you all something, I have been there, I just got out Sept this year after 3 yrs for a DUI, honestly I cant see trying to be with someone who is locked up, I didnt have a women during my time and its a good thing, I seen to many guys drive themself crazy thinking that thier women was screwing around on them. As far as trying it, to each is own, the only thing that I have noticed about the whole thing is that people say that they are not judgmental until you tell them that you have been locked up (first hand experience). It was bad enough being locked up now I have to deal with people judging me. I've been working in the same trade for 20 yrs minus 3 it took me 2 weeks to get a job when I got out and i make more $ then most people with college educations. I tried to be honest in my profile and its gets me nowhere, but thats not going to make me change it either, thats who I am and I can not change that.
 Wabbitswayer
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 57
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History
Prison dating
Posted: 12/29/2007 10:07:51 PM
If anything it does give a person time to get their house cleaned up before your new friend visits.
 orareroseo
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 59
Prison dating
Posted: 12/30/2007 7:35:41 AM
Well....Just think....you'll know where he is at night....and can only cheat on you w/ his cell-mate....
 ufcfanatic
Joined: 3/20/2005
Msg: 60
Prison dating
Posted: 12/30/2007 7:44:41 AM
Personally from my experience in law enforcement........id never date a girl who couldnt stay out of jail. Most of the people in jail (let alone prison) pick up bad habits and become much less tolerant for the rest of society. I work primarily in a jail right now, and I can personally tell you that when people tell me which jail pod they prefer........or they ask if you still have certain breakfasts/ meals on certain days, they stay in jail longer than their actually free!!

Nobody here can really tell you what to do or ultimately how to live your life, but I can tell you by experience being around these people almost every day that they'll never change (most of them). I know the lucky few do end up seeing a light on the other side of the tunnel, but the odds are against them........especially the odds of a healthy relationship that can work.
 bk1
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 61
Prison dating
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:17:30 AM
Folks, I work with the Court systems. Where else can you get three square meals a day. a roof over your head, free utilities, Free education and free medical. Then on top of that...the State allows you to have groupies that want "Bad Boys"... and the state pays for the computers that they use to contact YOU thru web sites such as this.... In a previous entry..someone said " Can you blame them for making one mistake in life" ... Folks if their in prison..I can guarantee you that they have had several previous offenses...starting during their juvenile years. Therefore, these losers are not first time offenders. They make up the two to three % of the population that your taxes pay for. So, even though your not directly dating them...you get screwed by them each and every time you pick up your pay check.
 Dvrmerck
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 62
Prison dating
Posted: 2/21/2008 12:12:05 PM
What is it with women and dating prisoners. John Wayne Gacey, the BTK killer etc.. all have girlfriends now. Even Stephen Grant has a girlfriend and he killed his wife. I have a theory. It's called the Pet Project theory. All women secretly need a pet project to work on. This is why they chase after the "bad boys" They don't listen to their friends who say "He's a lying cheating **stard" because women think they know that they're the one, the only one who can "Change him" Of course you are....you go on believing that.
 hharbottle1960
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 63
Prison dating
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:37:49 PM
And to think Scott Peterson used to be GAY! Don't ask me how I know but he and I went to school together so you can imagine the shock of women actually wanting to marry him! It's laughable.

Also laughable is the fact that many straight men in prison try to pass themselves off
as gay so they can get shit from people! Had it happen many times over the 20 years I
have been corresponding with Prison Inmates. I've never been stupid enough to send any of them anything but they do try!
 madman4u
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 68
Prison dating
Posted: 11/4/2008 2:08:12 PM
Your the type of girl that makes the statement nice guys finish last lol...To BE with a guy or GIRL for that matter whoS in jail = one thing..YOu LIKE creeps and u have veryyyy veryyyy low self esteem..good luck tho..You will need it sister....seeya..
 smalltowngirl0
Joined: 6/13/2008
Msg: 69
Prison dating
Posted: 11/4/2008 3:04:00 PM
hi, i worked for the Texas Dept of Criminal Justice for three years as a corrections officer, i saw all kinds of things men will do, while they are at their worst.
there is no way i would ever consider a relationship withe a convict, what on earth will they offer to the relationship??
you willl spend years possibly waiting for them to get out, and prison changes a person, it took me five years after i left the system to learn to trust the "basic goodness in mankind"

just my two cents worth
 ThatsNOTmybaby
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 71
Prison dating
Posted: 11/26/2008 11:31:14 PM
U mean to tell me that the law breaking, drug dealing, crime committing male can find "love" faster than a honest, law abiding, hard working man??! What the world is coming to??!

DANG...Females are that 'hard up' these days for a man? Yes there are women that LOVE excons/ex felons! In the "hood", the drug dealer/hustler/thug is glorified big time!


LAWD HELP US!
 Ameerra
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 73
Prison dating
Posted: 1/20/2009 4:48:44 AM
Being in prison for a long time is a traumatic experience IMO, and I would not take the chance with a man who is not emotionally healthy and well balanced. Of course it depends on the crime, the time, the facility and the person. But that's a big concern.

Plus, I believe what he's done while he is in prison will be between him and GOD -- a woman will never really know.

As for women dating a man who is locked up, many of these women don't really want to be in a relationship. They have the comfort of knowing they "have" someone without having to ever deal with the guy. When the guy get's out and they start having to have a real relationship, then the sh!t hits the fan. Usually one person or both can't handle it.
 Mr.DallasHandsome
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 74
Prison dating
Posted: 3/4/2009 4:03:41 PM
yes i am in the feds and it does work out long as you know and hane an understanding
 funcandyus
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 75
Prison dating
Posted: 5/5/2009 5:35:10 PM
I really didn't know that this post would last as long as it did when I first posted it. I am happy to see that it is still going strong and that people have mixed reviews. Some positive and more negative as I already knew might be the case. Just an update to my situation. My man has been out 5 years now. We seperated for 2 years because of the stress of me worrying about what other people thought. He served 15 years, and with his newfound freedom, he just didn't know how to act. He stayed out all night drinking with his friends almost every night and I couldn't deal with that. Now that we have reconciled now for almost 3 years, things are going great. He has a great job that he loves and hasn't missed a day or been late since he has started. Our relationship is going great and I couldn't be happier. I can't say that things are perfect because I would be lying. Although, he still drinks, it is only on the weekends and he comes home at a decent hour. We still have alot to work on in regards to building a relationship because he didn't have a lot of experiences with it before he he got locked up since he got locked up at the age of 20. But overall he is doing better than I expected. He takes care of his children and responsibilities. I know this is a decison many would never choose , but I am happy that I did. God bless to everyone and keep up the great posts!
 MzEm
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 76
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History
Prison dating
Posted: 6/12/2011 9:29:17 AM
Wow, Listen to yourself. What a selfish brat. Prisoners are people's brothers, sisters, moms, dads, uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc. In other words, they are people too. We have all made mistakes just some of us don't get caught. I am sure you have broken the law at some time in your life. God says we are not to judge others. I'm a felon. Although I never went to prison I am a productive citizen. I am a mother of 2 and pay all my bills. It is possible to make mistakes and move on. Not all say they aren't guilty. Most of them know they are and are doing their responsibility for the crime. Go get yourself some education, sister.
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 77
Prison dating
Posted: 6/14/2011 5:31:52 PM
Hahahahahaha!!!!! Doubt that a relationship has worked for too long after that person was released from prison. Lots of hard work sleeping with one eye open and the other one closed, keeping stock of everything in your house, and wondering if the Feds are going to bust you because your SO is stashing junk in your home.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 78
Prison dating
Posted: 6/17/2011 5:19:23 PM
Thats rigth 'Nice Guys' you just got Nexted for County Orange.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 79
Prison dating
Posted: 6/20/2011 8:42:01 PM

Prisoners are people's brothers, sisters, moms, dads, uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc. In other words, they are people too. We have all made mistakes just some of us don't get caught. I am sure you have broken the law at some time in your life. God says we are not to judge others.
Spare me please, everyone makes mistakes but not the kind of mistakes that makes us a guest of the government, people dont get prison time for jay walking or speeding ( unless you're drunk and killed someone)



I'm a felon. Although I never went to prison I am a productive citizen. I am a mother of 2 and pay all my bills. It is possible to make mistakes and move on. Not all say they aren't guilty. Most of them know they are and are doing their responsibility for the crime. Go get yourself some education, sister.
you need to get educated, you're not doing time so youve learned, but we are talking about people that is a guest of the government and a guest for a long time, why would any normal woman want to date someone in prison that is doing life for Murder? or a serial killer, mass murderer, drug dealer , terrorist etc
 LONGUN49
Joined: 5/31/2009
Msg: 80
Prison dating
Posted: 8/9/2011 10:30:25 AM
Hi there this is just a short message to you like what i read would like to now more ,there is a saying we are who we are we all do daft things in life sometimes we ave to pay the price .It would be nice to talk to you some time soon maybe i could make life worth living for you the very best for now Graham
 cookies1972
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 81
Prison dating
Posted: 8/20/2011 8:09:36 PM
why are going to date someone in prison? he will most likely re-offend when he is released and depending why he is in prison he will never be able to get a good job. If you think you are going to be the woman to change him, good luck with that! people don't change unless they want to. If he is in jail for drugs run for the hills because that rarely gets any better. what do you think the chances are he will re-offend and how will you deal with that?
 usher26usher
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 82
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Prison dating
Posted: 4/22/2012 6:12:54 PM
lol that is too funny
 InMyOwnTime25
Joined: 4/16/2012
Msg: 83
Prison dating
Posted: 4/23/2012 6:45:21 PM
I would never date anyone from prison unless they were only in there for like a month for some minor misdemeanor.. since I know that there are a few really minor offenses that sound like nothing but can lead to a month's imprisonment.. can't remember any right now off the top of my head but I know they have to do with driving.
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