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 AUTHOR
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 132
Hooked on having a FWB?Page 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
it depends on alot of factors..alot of fwb relationships are married people, whom for obvious reasons cannot committ to 2 people on the same level at the same time. For myself personally, i've tried it for a short time when i was younger and didnt like it. I look for alot more substance now and to do it just for the sex now would make me feel cheap and used..so no it didnt 'hook me' at all in any way.
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 133
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 2/23/2012 1:09:25 PM
I don't really think so. Sometimes you just need to have sex..lol. Which is the way I feel sometimes, but I don't think anyone is being used. Sometimes, I just want sex, and no relationhip. I'm not really sure if a FWB can blossom into a relationship. I certainly never had feelings for any of those men. I have once gone with years with no sex. But sometimes..I just want it..lol
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 134
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 2/24/2012 12:15:21 PM

alot of fwb relationships are married people,

Nope. Those are called cheaters.
Cindy O
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 135
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:37:27 PM
I would say I have been hooked on very young FWB's for the last 3 years.I am still in the process of trying to get myself in a different frame of mind before I start looking for a real relationship with someone also more age appropriate. That's why I'm here for forums only
Hoping I can "grow up" even though I'm pretty old lol.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 136
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:12:31 AM
a fwb is nice. you dont care who your fwb is sleeping with when they go out to the bar. you dont have to do the things that are expected of a significant other. and a fwb isnt really in a position, generally speaking, to cause you much harm in the long run. unlike a husband or wife.
 basschops
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 137
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:57:19 AM
A FWB deal ended up causing me a great deal of pain, it backfired big time, works for some but I know alot of people that have suffered over them.. good luck
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 138
view profile
History
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/15/2012 6:15:52 AM
People with (true) FWBs post less silly, angry, bitter, whiny POF threads than people without. That tells you all you need to know right there.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 139
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/15/2012 6:27:21 AM
well..what about married men that are in FWB relationships..?/ not so much 'hooked'..as for whatever reason, he prefers that type of relationship..either he cannot commit..or his 'situation' at home is not happy, so he gets it elsewhere.
 Thomas_Andronicus
Joined: 6/17/2012
Msg: 140
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:15:24 AM
From msg 139:

Sometimes you just need to have sex.
Sometimes, I just want sex,
But sometimes..I just want it

And your point is?
 MrVirgo
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 142
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:35:06 AM
FWB Relationships are an acquired taste. Some people are good at it & some can't handle.
Those are the simple facts about it & it will never change.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 144
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:59:59 AM
Will he be hooked on FWB once he's had one?

Who cares, he won't be getting one here.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 146
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:32:37 PM

well..what about married men that are in FWB relationships..?/

Nope-married people who "get it elsewhere" are called cheaters.
Fwbs are for unattached adults who do not want to be in a full-fledged "relationship"...and there ARE situations and circumstances where that is perfectly OK, as long as the 2 people IN the "fwb" are on the same page.
And "fwb" is NOT the same thing as the committed but non-cohabiting long-term relationships that seem to be becoming more common.
"well...what about married men" is not germane to the topic of fwbs.
Cindy O
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 147
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:18:30 PM
[People with (true) FWBs post less silly, angry, bitter, whiny POF threads than people without. That tells you all you need to know right there.]


[FWB Relationships are an acquired taste. Some people are good at it & some can't handle.
Those are the simple facts about it & it will never change.]


Agreed, it is in a sense an acquired taste. Meowkatt mentioned "growing up", this may be the case......for some people. For others, it is simply a case of wanting a different kind of relationship.
Sometimes, ...just sometimes ...two grown adults may not want to deal with the seriousness of a relationship and emotionally want the freedom to say "I would like to move on" without any hurt feelings yet still need the benefit from a warm body, conversation and monogamous safe sex. It is all in the mind. Personal preference for whatever their reason may be. Not everyone can handle it however because of this, please don't trash those who can. Also there's a huge difference between FWB and cheaters. Do you know it?
As for OP's topic, I can fully see how a person fully into FWBs can get hooked on it. Like I said, it's all in the mind.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 148
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:45:18 PM

two grown adults may not want to deal with the seriousness of a relationship and emotionally want the freedom to say "I would like to move on" without any hurt feelings yet still need the benefit from a warm body, conversation and monogamous safe sex.

I would never consider a FWB situation monogamous... isn't that one of the very limitations they are aiming to avoid?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 149
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:17:31 PM
^^ Not at all - ideally it's having sex with someone you already know enough to be comfortable with and as a safer alternative to a lot of casual situations or one night stands.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 150
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:19:10 PM

Ahhhhhh yes the committed non co-habiting long term relationship where the innocent party does not know the other half is s h a g g i n g behind your back.



I would never consider a FWB situation monogamous... isn't that one of the very limitations they are aiming to avoid?


I cannot speak for what other peoples intentions and practices, but having come to be very fond of my autonomy, a non-cohabiting LTR is exactly what I want and I have no intention whatsoever of "shagging" anyone else behind my partners back...and were I to find him doing such a thing the relationship would end just like millions of people in cohabiting LTRS and marriages do when their partner cheats.

A FwB recognizes that this is not going to be a "forever" situation. GOOD fwbs DO maintain sexual monogamy.This however is a matter of someone's own personal standards, it cannot be dictated as a "rule". If 2 fwbs encounter a situation where one of them is entertaining multiple sexual partners, the only "remedy" is for the other("innocent") person is to decide whether to continue the fwb or end it.

If an ethical person in a fwb situation meets someone that they wish to DATE,with committed relationship as the desired goal-they cease the benefits part of the fwb-and often may find it necessary to dial back on the "friend" part. If the fwb partner is also an ethical person and a true friend, they have no wish to stand in the way of a friends' best interests.

yes, yes I know its' not a perfect world, people are not perfect, relationships are not perfect...but good grief, have so many people here known nothing but dishonest, unethical, unprincipled romantic partners?

I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't take it upon myself to start informing the many people I know who are in non-cohabiting LTRs, or those in FwBs, just how they are going to be taken advantage of, screwed over and cheated on because they are not in a "forever"(either official or unoffical) relationship living under the same roof.
But then, they might think I'm crazier than was originally suspected.

Look, not all fwbs or noncohabiting LTRs "end well". But it would certainly seem, going by these forums, that damn few marriages do, either.
JMO
Cindy O
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 151
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History
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:23:14 PM

I would never consider a FWB situation monogamous... isn't that one of the very limitations they are aiming to avoid?


It's whatever they want it to be.

The only real rules are that it's two people on the same page, that are actually friends, that have sex, but are not in an actual relationship and free to move on to one with someone else, or each other, if they please.

This is different than f***buddies, where an actual friendship is not really the case.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 152
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:51:15 PM


Agreed, it is in a sense an acquired taste. Meowkatt mentioned "growing up", this may be the case......for some people. For others, it is simply a case of wanting a different kind of relationship.
Sometimes, ...just sometimes ...two grown adults may not want to deal with the seriousness of a relationship and emotionally want the freedom to say "I would like to move on" without any hurt feelings yet still need the benefit from a warm body, conversation and monogamous safe sex. It is all in the mind. Personal preference for whatever their reason may be. Not everyone can handle it however because of this, please don't trash those who can. Also there's a huge difference between FWB and cheaters. Do you know it?
As for OP's topic, I can fully see how a person fully into FWBs can get hooked on it. Like I said, it's all in the mind.


Yeah, for some reason, those who want a relationship seem to think their wants/desires are somehow "better" than those who don't want one. What a load of self-righteous bullshit.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 153
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:59:34 PM

What a load of self-righteous bullshit


Hey, isn't that the motto of pof forums ?

Some just can't seem to get a grip on the ol' " live and let live " idea.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 154
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:59:50 PM

Yeah, for some reason, those who want a relationship seem to think their wants/desires are somehow "better" than those who don't want one. What a load of self-righteous bullshit.


~OT~ I have no interest in a FWB situation. I had a conversation yesterday with a man I hadn't previously met, and at some point ~ he voiced his view on this subject. He thinks ALL relationships should begin with being FBs or FWBs. To which, I laughed and mentioned that I hoped that he'd find what he's looking for. He promptly threw the check in my direction and walked out of the restaurant. Guess he didn't like my answer. Wonder how someone like that makes "friends" and how on earth he ever gets one of those "friends" naked with such a wicked nasty attitude. To each their own.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 155
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 3:13:53 PM

He thinks ALL relationships should begin with being FBs or FWBs. To which, I laughed and mentioned that I hoped that he'd find what he's looking for. He promptly threw the check in my direction and walked out of the restaurant.


What a complete and unmitigated d*ckhead. He was just one of those "free sample seekers" that seem to litter the dating scene. They won't hire a hooker or pick up a bar star...they want to try and connive a "hit'n'quit" with a halfway decent woman.
I think that fwbs have their place in the spectrum of sociosexual interaction, but for the most part should be more of a situational phenomenon, not a planned goal- OR a way to manage one's libido with "free samples" from people "auditioning "(via fb/fwb) for a relationship.
That is another misperception/abuse of the concept...fwb is NOT an "audition" for a "real relationship".
Cindy O
 catdatty
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 156
view profile
History
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 3:47:42 PM
FWB is great. just about everyone i read is correct. but what you guys have to understand is that in a fwb you guys make the rules. its not just about sex unless you want it that way. if any of you have had a relationship that didnt last and you were having sex during that relationship, what makes it any different than a fwb. i will tell you what, you were probably depressed afterwards. there are different types of fwb relationships and as long as you guys define the rules as you go, both of you will be happy. and yes, i have seen them turn into more than fwb. seems like when people hear fwb they focus in on the benefits part and not the friends. but really a marriage should be friends with benefits if you think about it. lol
 catdatty
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 157
view profile
History
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 3:57:14 PM
i do want to add that people dont just have fwb relationships to avoid commitment. when you say that your bf/gf there is a general set of rules (or commitment) that is only defined by society. when you have a fwb you guys make the rules of the commitment. good thing is, just making the rules tells you a lot about the other person (if you pay attention).
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 158
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:23:37 PM
Yeah, for some reason, those who want a relationship seem to think their wants/desires are somehow "better" than those who don't want one.
^^
I used to think this way....and then my marriage ended.


What a load of self-righteous bullshit.
^^^
I concur
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 160
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 6:11:45 PM


I would be more inclined to call this a sexual addiction, conjoined with some mental health issues..........such as an inability to form long-lasting relationships with not just women, but with men as well. Some detachment issues due to that person not being able to trust other people and/or not able to trust themselves. I would say this type of person enjoys creating drama but does not want to be held responsible for causing drama for other people and is quite possibly........very much a loner. This type of person does not like to be criticized, but is very judgemental and critical of other people, and probably has a tough time expressing himself to others. Thus the need, to routinely detach himself from solid and long-lasting friendships.

Yah, I would say this type of person is only functional in FWB situations and may never understand himself well enough to make any changes that could lead to greater happiness.


Oh, lookie! A POF forum shrink.

We just don't see enough of those around here.
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