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 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 562
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the datePage 24 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
jersey

dating costs money. if a guy can't afford to date then he shouldn't be dating. period.

and per etiquette, the person who invites someone out is supposed to pay. this goes for dates, or even lunch among friends. if you invite someone out you are supposed to pay.
 Want_You_2010
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 563
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/6/2011 2:21:42 PM
I love that comment ^^^ if a guy can't afford to date he shouldn't be dating period. And women never have to afford to date right? I have always loved that onesided view. Oh well, luckily that second job funds my dating life.
 MusicNonStop
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 564
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/6/2011 5:47:35 PM

dating costs money. if a guy can't afford to date then he shouldn't be dating. period.

and per etiquette, the person who invites someone out is supposed to pay. this goes for dates, or even lunch among friends. if you invite someone out you are supposed to pay.


The second part of that post is a total and classic cop-out excuse. My friends invite me to lunch, but I sure as hell don't expect them to pay for me.
 pinkoleander
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 565
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/6/2011 6:49:37 PM

turned out that the woman wanted us to get married so I could support her and she could quit her teaching job. I believe that after 2 or three dates, the woman should offer to pay.

Damn, you promised you wouldn't tell anyone about that.
And if you want someone to pay after 2 or 3 dates then say so. Upfront, instead of being passive aggressive about it by paying and resenting it. I appreciate knowing where I stand with people. My intuition is good but I can't read minds. If people dating were honest even 50% of the time there would be far fewer problems. For the record I dated someone who had been unemployed for two years and paid for everything.
 ArtzyWoman
Joined: 6/30/2011
Msg: 566
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/6/2011 8:43:09 PM
I recently went out on a meet-up date and honestly I was so annoyed at this person. Sorry I'm old fashioned and not money hungry (i work and have my own money,car & house) But anyway we both went up to get ice tea and the man never even offered to buy it? It would have been great if he had but he didn't, it totally turned me off. I would have said no and paid for my own but the thought is what counted and especially if he is trying to impress a woman. For pete's sake, it was only ice tea!
 Want_You_2010
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 567
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/6/2011 9:03:34 PM
I am old fashioned too. Seems most women who say they are only view the men paying part as being old fashioned...I just want my laundry done, apartment cleaned and dinner cooked...I mean I am old fashioned, sue me...oh ya the "old fashioned" women mean today is men paying for everything. Man if the women from the 50's and 60's at this age could see women today at the same age, they sure would be saying you got it alot easier. Working, owning your own car, earning your own income, not relying on a man for anything, still having men pay for things. LOL.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 568
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/6/2011 10:56:41 PM

I would have said no and paid for my own but the thought is what counted and especially if he is trying to impress a woman.

I agree... it's like opening a door... or saying thank you... little things that show you care and are polite.

I've never come across men like those that post in these forums. All of the men I've ever dated have been "wanting" to be generous... not because I expected it.
 Jersey125
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 569
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/7/2011 7:31:02 AM

I recently went out on a meet-up date and honestly I was so annoyed at this person. Sorry I'm old fashioned and not money hungry (i work and have my own money,car & house) But anyway we both went up to get ice tea and the man never even offered to buy it? It would have been great if he had but he didn't, it totally turned me off. I would have said no and paid for my own but the thought is what counted and especially if he is trying to impress a woman. For pete's sake, it was only ice tea!


What the... the results were exactly the same you ended paying for your own drink. You didnt offer to buy his drink either but yet youre holding it against him for not offering to buy for your drink which you were going pay for any way.

Let me ask you a question. How many times have you paid for? And how many times have you paid for the guy? (Im guessing the numbers are now way close to being equal). So one of the rare times someone doesnt offer to pay for you your going to have a fit about.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 570
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/7/2011 8:05:23 AM
We are in the age of feminism. Romance and finance is up to both parties, not just the man. Earlier post said whoever asks should pay. Makes sense to me. Just being an h-hole (honest hole).
 lake_grove
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 571
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/7/2011 9:26:15 AM

and per etiquette, the person who invites someone out is supposed to pay. this goes for dates, or even lunch among friends. if you invite someone out you are supposed to pay.


I disagree. Suppose a friend asks me to go to a bar and have a few drinks. I wouldn't expect him or her to pay for me. One person might pay for the first round. The other person might pay for the next round. BTW sometimes I have paid the entire bill. Whether it was on a date or hanging out with friends. However it was never because I had asked the other person out.
 Jersey125
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 572
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/7/2011 11:05:48 AM

and per etiquette, the person who invites someone out is supposed to pay. this goes for dates, or even lunch among friends. if you invite someone out you are supposed to pay.



Part of the problem is you have one person who does all the inviting while the other person doesnt. So one person ends paying all of the time.

After 4-5 dates with a man who has already proven his interest, one would think that at point the women if she is working would voluntarily either reciprocate by inviting him out and paying or say"youve paid the last few times, this one is on me" and pay the bill (without testing him to see if he would actually let her).
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 573
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/7/2011 6:14:20 PM

She got this funny look on her face and said, you aren't really going to make me pay are you?


wtf? Who does that? If I offer to pay, I'm paying. What kind of twits are you men dating? Gawd.


Part of the problem is you have one person who does all the inviting while the other person doesnt. So one person ends paying all of the time.


Exactly. It doesn't matter to me who asks. If we are both interested in each other, we will both invest in the relationship. Simple as that.

If, however, I run across a man who starts whining about this - I'm outta there.

I truly believe that most men are not interested in the women who DO pay. Another man said it on this thread or another.

And YOU guys will never ever ever convince other women to start paying. Simply because there are enough guys out there who will pay. Most of those guys are out there dating or in relationships, not on here discussing this like the rest of us LOL.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 574
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/7/2011 7:04:25 PM
@femaleandflirty & beenambedie: I agree, too! Except this type is legal! Had unfortunate experience of having to call out someone I was seeing briefly on this! She said I had not paid enough for it when I said no while out shopping. Lesson to learn: think before you make such a statement!
 gothicgirl86
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 575
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/7/2011 8:31:13 PM
This post is why I pay my own way on every date I go on so men like this guy here isn't moaning and complaining about women not paying.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 576
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 9/8/2011 6:59:12 AM
She got this funny look on her face and said, you aren't really going to make me pay are you?

wtf? Who does that? If I offer to pay, I'm paying. What kind of twits are you men dating? Gawd.

Most women don't think what you think, though... and most women don't actually say what the original quote said, either. Most women, who don't insist, think that internally or possibly be read off their faces -- but not actually said. They're more like "Gawd, I'm not going to say that", not "Gawd, if I offer to pay, I'm paying." Yes, it is games when they have feelings of entitlement -- said women in those situations should not complain about people playing games, because they end up becoming one of them, that's for sure...

Exactly. It doesn't matter to me who asks. If we are both interested in each other, we will both invest in the relationship. Simple as that.

I totally agree... previous posters have pointed out that many situations can be where there's just one person (95% its the guy) who does the asking -- or better put after a first date, the one who sets it up or makes the proposition, so it will be that person doing the paying if one holds to the "asking" (liberally used after a 1st date) as a means of paying.

Personally, I see it as the person who asks to TAKE SOMEONE OUT is the one who should pay. Not asking to get together in and of itself, with the exception of a first date. Now, with that said, the unofficial "rules" are unfair from a financial standpoint as far as a guy's concerned if he wishes to make best of his situations -- but hey, that's life. Just complain about it in the forums, but not IRL. :)

Of course, if the woman is financially on not-so-thick-ice and the guy is just-fine in that dept, and he suggests going to some place not-so-cheap, he should want to cover all or most the bill. And if she suggests some place not-so-cheap, he should have the gonads to suggest another more quaint place if it's going to take a punch out of his wallet with more authority than her interest level in him.

I truly believe that most men are not interested in the women who DO pay. Another man said it on this thread or another.

Yeah, some guys can. But I believe if the woman is properly communicative (thus convincing) that she's paying not out of lack of interest, but because she wants to split things and that's her comfort zone, and it's more than just a cup of coffee and a trinket here and there, then much less guys would have a problem. But there are guys who have control issues -- and ends up being a good litmus test to indicate whether he is that way (without faking anything).

And YOU guys will never ever ever convince other women to start paying. Simply because there are enough guys out there who will pay.

Pretty much says it ... assuming a woman's in good financial standing, many will not want to go split-bill or you-this-time/me-next-time, because as people, once we can get certain things from people, we tend to see others who don't so much as lesser folk. How the world works! All's fair in love (and flings and hookups) and war!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 577
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:06:32 PM
^^^^^ This is a nice way to reciprocate. Being a frugal person myself, going out doesn't have to break you.

This thread is "Going Dutch" the prequel.
 -Michiel-
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 578
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 12/27/2011 7:14:33 PM
she may be afraid to pay too much or she may have had different intentions...
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 579
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 12/28/2011 10:57:20 PM
Wow, most of the men i've dated and been in ltr's with WANTED to pay most everytime we went out. I've always thought it was a guy/provider thing. I would try to pay but most would not let me have the check, although lunch occasionally was acceptable. This has been and still is my experience in dating.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 580
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 1/3/2012 7:55:02 PM

I saw something on TV where the guy said, when the check came "Let's team up on this one
I like this. Is there any line I can use for guys who will insist on paying no matter how determined I am about paying my share?
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 581
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 1/5/2012 8:15:44 PM
lol, you should tell her...
"Let's join forces on this"
see what she says lol
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 582
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 1/5/2012 10:58:05 PM
You mean tell "him"? I like that a lot.
 wearied
Joined: 12/31/2011
Msg: 583
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 1/6/2012 2:12:33 AM

dating costs money. if a guy can't afford to date then he shouldn't be dating. period.


That's the equivalent of saying that if a woman isn't willing to put out, then she shouldn't be dating.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 584
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 1/6/2012 4:04:52 AM

How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date (?)

Like this: "hey, you better start paying for part of these dates."

Simple. No need to continue this thread based on what the subject of the thread is.

The reason the thread keeps going is that the OP forgot to add "...and keep the relationship going like it was" to the question/statement.

A woman may break it off if you say this. But who cares? It's a win-win. Stand by your convictions. Some women do pay for part of the date. Date only those women. STILL simple.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 585
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History
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 1/6/2012 4:18:34 AM
^^^^^ "hey, you better start paying for part of these dates."

Took only 2+ years, 28 pages and 683 posts to get the most direct straight to the point answer!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 586
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 1/6/2012 4:23:41 AM
^^^LOL. Naah. I know myself well, I don't change much. I'm sure I've said that in this thread a couple times already before - but this thread is neverending and it was so long ago that who the heck would remember?
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